


Search for the Aqualord

by chrissy_sky



Series: Human!Xellos series [1]
Category: Slayers (anime)
Genre: Adventure, F/F, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Yaoi, human Xellos, post-rev/evo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-18
Updated: 2011-12-18
Packaged: 2017-10-27 12:13:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 91,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/295740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chrissy_sky/pseuds/chrissy_sky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sacrifice from an unlikely source brings new changes to Zelgadis' life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Metamorphosis

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written through IM sessions with Rose Thorne (who I don't think has an AO3 account at this time). Work complete.

Title: Search for the Aqualord

By: Chrissy Sky and Rose Thorne

Summary: A sacrifice from an unlikely source brings new changes to Zelgadis’ life.

Warnings: YAOI. Zelgadis/Xellos. Slight spoilers for Rev-Evo.

 

-

 

1\. Metamorphosis

 

-

 

It wasn’t long after their last adventure before Zelgadis found himself once again with his long-time travel companions. The day was clear and warm, full of endless possibilities.

 

At least, he could hope so, if he allowed himself to. As it was, Zelgadis had been unable to stand being alone. After finding some scant information on a certain magical text, he had enlisted the help of Lina Inverse. It hadn’t taken much convincing on his part; Lina was as much of a nut about finding new spells as he was.

 

The road they walked was well traveled, used mainly as a trading route for carts and the occasional traveler on foot, such as themselves. Dense trees surrounded the path on either side, with hills and small mountains behind those. Insects and birds were the prevalent wildlife this close to the road, though there were occasionally signs of deer that had crossed it recently.

 

Lina fell back from her usual position of leading their unlikely foursome down the road, walking beside him. “Okay, Zel. Give us some details on this Claire Bible manuscript you heard about.”

 

Zelgadis shook his head. “It’s really vague, Lina. Something about an old temple in these foothills. I’m afraid there wasn’t much on it.”

 

“Well considering a certain priest we all know and find irritating,” Lina said, “the copies available are probably scarce.” She had removed small bits of her clothing, like her gloves and cape, to ward off the late summer heat. Amelia and Gourry were in similar states, the heat wearing on them more than it did Zelgadis. His chimera body insulated him for the most part, though he would gladly take the inconvenience of sunburn if it meant being human again.

 

“I thought Rezo-san said there was no cure, Zelgadis-san,” Amelia said delicately from behind them, not wanting to offend but also confused.

 

“Do you think he lied?” Gourry wondered, having none of the princess’ caution.

 

Zelgadis was grateful for the blond’s straightforwardness, even if he did not always understand. The chimera shrugged. “He could be right, but I'm not going to stop searching on his say-so. He wasn't all-powerful.”

 

Lina smiled, obviously pleased. She was always on the ‘never give up’ stance, of course. “Atta boy, Zel!” She smacked him on the back, hard, which only hurt her. “Ouch…”

 

Zelgadis sighed, ignoring the sorceress’ enthusiasm. “Anyway. It'll take some searching, but there are some nice towns in this area. We can set up a sort of base camp.” He smirked slightly at the redhead. “And I've heard they have some pretty good restaurants, Lina.”

 

Her eyes lit up eagerly. “Great!”

 

“Good thinking, Zel,” Gourry murmured close to Zelgadis’ ear, smiling fondly.

 

Amelia brightened. “It's so nice of you to think of us, Zelgadis-san. You don’t usually like stopping.”

 

Zelgadis sighed. “If Rezo was right, I might as well enjoy the journey.”

 

Amelia saddened in concern immediately. “Zelgadis-san…”

 

The chimera smiled at her. “I might never find it. I can accept that now.” And it wasn’t a lie. He felt that, if this was his reality, he truly could live with his stone body and its limitations.

 

The princess, studying him for a moment, seemed to see the truth in his words. Her expression brightened once more, concern gone. “Okay! I’m so happy you were able to come to terms with it.”

 

“It was either that or let it drive me crazy. I might never be human, but I can at least try to lead a normal life. Well, as normal as possible traveling with Lina.”

 

Amelia giggled. “That’s true!”

 

Lina’s brow twitched. “Oi…”

 

Gourry nodded sagely. “Lina makes life exciting.”

 

Zelgadis smiled fondly, the group’s usual antics comforting. “It was either this or become a hermit,” he admitted. “That got boring pretty quickly.”

 

Lina glared, though she wasn’t truly irritated. He was used to seeing those warning signs. “Watch it, or you'll have to join a shrine after I'm through with you.”

 

Both swordsmen winced at the implication.

 

“Lina-san,” Amelia broke in chidingly, “you could try not being so violent. That’s how all those rumors about you start, you know…”

 

“Oi! I'm plenty nice until people provoke me!” the redhead complained.

 

The familiar, companionable air was interrupted as a blast of dark energy came out of nowhere. They scrambled in opposite directions, dodging the attack.

 

A disembodied voice chuckled. “Consider yourself provoked.”

 

Lina looked around, a fireball already in her hand. “What?!”

 

Above them, a Mazoku appeared in thin air. She looked almost human, but her eyes gave away her true nature.

 

“Ah, hell,” Lina groaned. “One trip without Mazoku – is that too much to ask for?”

 

Zelgadis smiled grimly, his sword out and already glowing from Astral Vine. “For you? Yes.”

 

Lina’s retort was cut off as the Mazoku attacked again. “Damn!” she cursed, dodging again. “Fireball!”

 

Zelgadis had joined in to help her attack when another Mazoku appeared right in front of him, slashing. He flipped back just in time, narrowly missing having his stone chest ripped open by sharp demonic claws. He dodged as the Mazoku leapt forward, swinging his sword, but it evaded his blow.

 

Several more monsters appeared on the road, all looking very smug. Most were obviously lower demons, for they had less humanoid shapes.

 

 _Not good!_ “Who’d you piss off this time?” he yelled at Lina.

 

The sorceress growled. “I lost count already. Flare Arrow!”

 

The four Mazoku attacked them at once, partially splitting up. Two went after Amelia at once. Zelgadis left Gourry to help Lina and rushed over to the princess.

 

“It is unjust to gang up on—!” Amelia’s normal repertoire was cut off as Zel pulled her out of the way as one monster unleashed its attack. The blast of dark energy barely missed them. “Eep!”

 

Gourry could not contend with a Mazoku with an ordinary sword despite his skills. He was knocked away into the surrounding trees.

 

“Gourry!” Looking pissed, Lina started the unmistakable chant for the Dragon Slave.

 

Zelgadis quickly tugged Amelia to her feet. “Move!”

 

But the chanting was cut off. He turned back just in time to see another Mazoku surge up from the ground beneath Lina’s feet, sending the petite sorceress into the air. Amelia cast Ray Wing and caught Lina, pulling her out of range. Zelgadis blasted the Mazoku with a Ra Tilt, grinning smugly as he scored a hit.

 

The triumph was short lived when the smoke cleared. Another Mazoku had appeared. This one was male and wore heavy battle armor along with a smirk filled with contempt.

 

“Sorry, little boy,” said the Mazoku. “You’ll have to do better than that.”

 

He sent a blast of energy at Zel. He managed to dodge. Amelia cast Ra Tilt from the air, but the attack dissipated before hitting the Mazoku, ineffective.

 

“Who the hell are you?” Lina demanded angrily from where she had landed.

 

The Mazoku leered at the short sorceress with an air of superiority. “I am Dynast Grausherra.”

 

As the redhead stared in shock, the Mazoku Lord blasted at her. Gourry reappeared suddenly. He looked a little cut and bruised from his flight, but managed to tackle Lina out of the way. 

 

To offer them some cover, Zelgadis sent another Ra Tilt, though it would do no good against a Lord. He hoped it would slow Dynast down at the very least. Dynast, however, did not even flinch. In a flash he sent several large blasts of his energy at the chimera.

 

Zelgadis braced himself; there was no way he could dodge in time. He’d be lucky if he survived.

 

Nothing happened.

 

He opened his eyes slowly to see a familiar dark cape and cropped purple hair.

 

“Xellos!” Zel cried out in surprised. The priest had materialized and formed a protective shield, blocking Dynast’s attack, and likely saving his life.

 

Xellos’ voice sounded a little pained when he answered. “That could have been disastrous.”

 

Zelgadis stared at his back, unable to respond. He couldn’t understand why Xellos would protect him.

 

Before he could think much further than that, Dynast’s voice rang out eagerly.

 

“Now!” yelled the Lord. “Surround and contain Xellos!”

 

Xellos flinched back, and Zel could sense his surprise even though he couldn’t see the priest’s face. “What?”

 

Zelgadis found himself blasted out of the way before he could get to his feet. He landed painfully near Amelia, his back impacting a tree and uprooting it. When his head stopped buzzing and he looked up again, the lower Mazoku had all surrounded Xellos. The servants began to chant, and a magical circle appeared beneath Xellos.

 

The priest tried to escape to the astral plane, but bounced off of an invisible barrier. He was appeared to be trapped.

 

Zelgadis grunted, struggling to his feet. It became very obvious, very quickly what had happened. They had been attacked only to lure Xellos out, who was following them again for whatever reason. They, and Xellos, had been tricked.

 

“Dynast-sama!” Xellos looked surprised, his eyes open. “What is the meaning of this?”

 

Dynast gathered energy into his palm. “A little punishment for Zelas. She actually thought I wouldn't notice her little plot against Hellmaster, set into motion by you.”

 

“Xellos!” Lina started chanting the incantation for Ragna Blade.

 

The Lord smirked. “What’s this? Xellos, the little girl means to protect you.”

 

Lina glared. “No, I just don’t like your face.”

 

“Charming.” Dynast sent a blast her way, hovering protectively over the circle his servants had formed around Xellos. Gourry pulled the sorceress out of the way.

 

Though he rarely used black magic, Zelgadis cast Zelas Brid at the Lord. If Dynast was anything like Gaav or Phibrizo had been, they couldn’t possibly handle this. He’d have to pull all his tricks out if they were going to survive and save Xellos.

 

He’d be damned if he owed the damn priest anything. For whatever manipulative reasons the priest had, he’d saved Zel’s life, and the chimera was going to repay that debt. There were other reasons too, but there was no time to think about that now.

 

Amelia backed up his spell with a Ra Tilt of her own. Neither spell caused even a scratch and Dynast only laughed, knocking both Zel and the princess down with a blast of energy that stung, but didn’t cause any damage.

 

“Stay back, mortals. This has nothing to do with you.”

 

Lina struggled to her feet. “It does. He may be annoying as hell, but Xellos is a part of our group.”

 

Xellos appeared truly shocked. “Lina-san…”

 

Zelgadis tried not to look at him trapped there helplessly. “Lina, we’ll cover you!” He, Amelia, and Gourry ran toward Dynast from different directions.

 

Lina nodded and began to chant.

 

As she did, the magic circle began to glow brightly. Xellos emitted a blood-curdling scream, his body writhing as if some unseen force were ripping at his spirit. For all Zel knew, it was.

 

They didn’t get within ten yards of the Lord before he blew them away without effort. Lina was blasted at again, her chanting interrupted as she dodged. Dynast seemed to know them well enough not to let Lina use her big attacks, which seemed strange – Zel couldn’t remember a Mazoku being overly cautious like that. He also didn’t seem to be taking the battle seriously – he hadn’t, after all, tried to kill them yet. The only potentially lethal attacks that had been thrown at them since Xellos’ appearance had been easily dodged.

 

Zelgadis sent another Ra Tilt toward one of the lesser Mazoku holding Xellos, to no avail. Dynast continued to protect his servants. He blasted them away again, but still didn’t deliver a killing blow. It seemed that the Lord was merely holding them off.

 

“What are they doing to him?” Zel asked. He could barely stand after being flung against another tree.

 

Lina, still recovering from the last attack, forced herself into a sitting position. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen a circle like that before.”

 

Zel nodded. The design of the magic circle was strange, like nothing he had seen before.

 

“How do we stop them?” Gourry asked, just as tired as they were.

 

Before Zel could even begin to form a plan, Dynast stepped forward and placed his hand on Xellos’ chest. His screams grew louder and inhuman, piercing the air and hurting Zel’s ears.

 

Tears filled Amelia’s eyes. “Lina-san, they’re killing him…”

 

Determined, Lina started chanting Ragna Blade yet again, but Dynast cut her off with another blast, sending all of them scrambling again. He didn’t even pause with whatever he was doing to Xellos.

 

The priest scrambled against Dynast’s hold wildly, clawing at his arm uselessly, the power ripping and shredding his surprisingly substantial clothes.

 

Finally, the Lord removed his hand. Xellos crashed to the ground and lay still, his eyes closed. He was free but he did not disappear into the Astral Plane.

 

Dynast looked even smugger than before, if it were possible. “I curse you to humanity, Xellos,” he hissed with delight before disappearing with his minions.

 

Lina stared at the scene, weakly falling to her knees.  Her brow furrowed in confusion. “What did he say…?”

 

Zelgadis forced himself to his feet, moving toward Xellos’ form hesitantly. He was as troubled as Lina was. By rights, they should all be dead. Instead, the Mazoku Lord had come to put a mysterious curse on one of his own kind? It made no sense, especially Dynast’s parting words. “To… humanity? What did they do to him?”

 

From behind him, he heard Amelia give a gasp before she rushed forward ahead of him to Xellos. Zelgadis thought nothing of it at first – he was still in some shock himself and assumed Amelia had just gotten over hers by giving into the instinct to check on their Mazoku friend. Not that there was much they could do for a being made of evil. On the bright side, Xellos hadn’t faded away so he was still alive…

 

He knelt down on the road beside the slumped form and said as much to the princess, hoping it would reassure her.

 

He noted then that her hands were shaking. She reached out and hesitantly touched Xellos’ throat. “It can’t be,” Amelia murmured, gasping again.

 

Gourry walked up behind her and uttered the words that would change their lives. “Oh, wow. He’s breathing.”

 

Lina held onto Gourry’s arm, obviously using the tall blond to keep herself upright. “He’s _what_?!”

 

Startled, Zel’s hand quickly darted out, checking Xellos’ neck as Amelia had. He felt the steady pulse, the pumping of a heart that should not be there. “They cursed him… to humanity. They made him human!”

 

 

TBC.


	2. Shock! The Human Curse

-

 

 

 

2\. Shock! The Human Curse

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

They had to get off the road. Gourry suggested going into the mountains and finding a cave to set up camp. It was as good an idea as any, so that was what they did. Using a Ray Wing, Amelia transported them quickly through the trees to the mouth of the first cave she saw.

 

 

 

They were all worried about Xellos, but until they figured out what exactly had occurred all they could do was let him sleep and try to make him as comfortable as possible. Zelgadis sacrificed his sleep roll for this, though he pretended to be unwilling. In truth he was very worried for the annoying little priest.

 

 

 

It was just too strange to see Xellos so helpless. He was supposed to be the strongest of his rank, his master’s one and only servant. He was one of the few people Lina admitted out loud that she wanted to avoid fighting. They had, recently; but in retrospect it was obvious to Zelgadis that they had not seen Xellos’ full power. The Mazoku had only been playing with them. It wasn’t a comforting thought.

 

 

 

Then later, Xellos had turned around and helped them fight Ghost Shabranigdu – though naturally he claimed to have his own reasons for doing so. Xellos had shielded them from the Dark Lord’s blast, nearly dying in the process (or at least Zelgadis greatly suspected this, even though the next time he had seen Xellos he’d looked fine).

 

 

 

Now, the eerie power that had always come with the priest’s presence was muffled and nearly unrecognizable. His chest slowly rose and fell underneath the blanket wrapped around him. Amelia had deemed the remains of his clothing to be unsalvageable. She also said that he had no visible wounds to speak of, but could not speak to any internal damage. After a short examination, Amelia felt slightly more confident in their assertion that Xellos was human now, though she was still puzzled.

 

 

 

They all were. Zelgadis had never heard of anything remotely like this, and neither had Lina. The only thing that came close was what had happened to Chaos Dragon Gaav. Then again, they didn’t have the exact details on that. Perhaps this was the same.

 

 

 

That night they slept in shifts. Despite his troubled mind, Zel was able to sleep a couple of hours before Gourry shook his shoulder gently.

 

 

 

“Zel,” said his blond friend. “Your turn.”

 

 

 

Zelgadis stretched as he sat up, sighing. “Any change?”

 

 

 

Gourry glanced over his shoulder worriedly at Xellos’ prone form by the fire before answering. “Nope. Think he’s dreaming though.”

 

 

 

“Oh?” Curious, Zel got up and studied Xellos.

 

 

 

“His eyebrows keep twitching,” Gourry said around a wide yawn.

 

 

 

“Maybe he'll regain consciousness soon, then. Get some sleep.”

 

 

 

“Sure.” With one last yawn, Gourry went to his sleep roll beside the chimera’s. The girls were sleeping across the campfire, Lina’s leg over Amelia’s waist as the redhead stretched out. She was half on top of the princess, who slept on unknowingly. It was kind of sweet, but it was mostly amusing.

 

 

 

Zelgadis put on a pot of coffee and watched Xellos sleep on for a moment before looking up at the stars with a sigh. He could make them out beyond the canopy of the trees around their camp, distant and flickering in the dark night.

 

 

 

He was replaying the scene from earlier today in his mind again when a whimper interrupted his thoughts. It took him a moment to realize it was Xellos. Zelgadis moved closer, calling out his name softly.

 

 

 

“Mm…” Xellos eyes fluttered open, looking at Zelgadis uncomprehendingly.

 

 

 

Zelgadis was relieved at this sign of life. “Stay still. You’re hurt.”

 

 

 

Xellos frowned as if the gentle order confused him. Then his face went pale and he lurched to the side to vomit. Or he tried to, at least. Only a little bit of spittle emitted from his gagging mouth.

 

 

 

Awkwardly, Zelgadis patted his back, still uncomfortable with seeing Xellos this weakened. “Do you remember what happened?” It was important that they found this out quickly, for Xellos and themselves.

 

 

 

The priest coughed, wiping his mouth. “I…” he started to speak, but trailed off as he saw the drool on his hand. Then he just seemed to stare at his hands, his eyes getting wider and breath quickening, bordering on hyperventilation. “No…” Xellos gasped finally. “No, this cannot be…”

 

 

 

Zelgadis was startled by the intensity of Xellos’ expression. He looked beyond shaken. “Calm down.”

 

 

 

Xellos looked at him, seeming to notice him for the first time. Suddenly he backed away from Zel, crawling backwards quickly into the cave. He kept moving, as though unable to hold still, looking distinctly like a frightened animal. “No!” he gasped hoarsely.

 

 

 

The chimera held up his hands to show he meant no harm. “Xellos, you need to calm down. We’re not going to hurt you.”

 

 

 

Xellos scrambled frantically at the cave wall, then at his skin, scratching the pale flesh with his nails and leaving angry marks. It was as though he were trying to remove the offending flesh. “No! They can’t do this! They can’t…!”

 

 

 

Zel moved quickly, grabbing his wrists to keep the priest from doing further damage. “Calm down! You’re going to hurt yourself!”

 

 

 

Xellos struggled, but could not break his solid hold. “Human!” he wheezed, a hysterical laugh escaping him. There was a wild look in his eyes. “They changed me, remade me! I’m…!”

 

  

 

“You’re human,” Zelgadis confirmed in a soft voice. “Calm down before I cast Sleeping on you.”

 

 

 

The body beneath him went still, the threat effective. His gasps became panting, his breathing slowly becoming steadier. “No, please… Just give me a moment…”

 

 

 

Zelgadis nodded, waiting. He could understand what Xellos could be feeling right at this moment. His entire world had been torn from him, and now he was trapped in a body he didn’t belong in.

 

 

 

Zel understood because the same thing had happened to him.

 

 

 

Xellos swallowed thickly, seeming to focus on the chimera’s face as he calmed down. Zel looked back at him, a bit concerned.

 

 

 

As he watched, a blush spread over the priest’s— _former_ priest’s cheeks. “Is there something for me to wear?” Xellos asked quietly.

 

 

 

Zelgadis blushed himself as he realized finally—the blanket had fallen off of Xellos during his mad scramble around the cave. He was now lying underneath the shaman, naked and beautiful in the dim light.

 

 

 

Quickly, he got off of Xellos and handed him the blanket, embarrassed. “Er… Let me check my bag.”

 

 

 

Xellos nodded, hurriedly wrapping the blanket around himself.

 

 

 

Zel looked through his pack and found an extra pair of pants. After checking Gourry’s, he found an extra shirt. They didn’t carry a lot with them on their travels, but luckily they had this much. “We can find you something to fit better once we reach a town,” he told Xellos, handing him the clothes. He hesitated a moment, not sure how the new human would take the rest of his news. “We found your staff as well.”

 

 

 

Xellos took the clothes, holding them to his chest. He looked at Zel for a moment as though he didn’t know what the chimera was talking about at first. Then he nodded and began to dress.

 

  

 

Zelgadis turned away, giving him privacy. “Are you still in pain?”

 

 

 

“Somewhat,” came his soft answer. “Stomach and head hurt. Limbs are sore.”

 

 

 

And the scratches he had given himself probably hurt as well. Zel decided to keep that to himself since Xellos hadn’t seemed to be bleeding. “We weren't sure if it was safe to cast White magic on you.”

 

 

 

Once he was dressed, Xellos wrapped the blanket back around himself and went to sit in front of the fire. He rubbed his forehead. “I would assume yes, but I am no physician.”

 

 

 

Zel handed him a cup of water. “So you’re completely human?”

 

 

 

“I don’t know.” He looked at the cup for a long time before finally taking a sip. “But this water fills me. I am trapped in this body. It's much more solid than before. I feel.... heavy... and it hurts. Everywhere.”

 

 

 

The shaman frowned as he considered something. “Will the Greater Beast know how to help you?”

 

 

 

Xellos laughed softly, without humor. “This is the supreme punishment. Once it is done, no Lord may reverse it.”

 

 

 

“I didn't even know it was possible for a Mazoku to become human,” Zel confessed, hoping for answers.

 

 

 

“It's not something we advertise.”

 

 

 

“But one lord can do it on his own?” Zelgadis asked, confused. “Why would Dynast do that?”

 

 

 

Xellos drank a little more deeply. “From his comment, I believe Dynast-sama realized my master's true tactic when she loaned me to Hellmaster-sama.”

 

 

 

Zelgadis gaped. “What?”

 

 

 

Xellos hesitated visibly, then laughed again, carding a hand through his already disheveled hair. “I suppose there's no harm in telling you now, after the fact... Nor am I my master's servant any longer...” He looked up at Zel, his usual smile pained. “You know what Hellmaster was doing when he used you to lure out Gaav. He meant for Lina to use Giga Slave the entire time. Gaav, knowing Hellmaster's plan, tried to stop it by killing Lina-san. But my master had two objectives when she bid me to help Hellmaster. She wanted Gaav and Phibrizo both destroyed.”

 

 

 

“So we were really being used by Zelas?” the chimera asked, staring.

 

 

 

“Yes. Dynast has, obviously, figured that out.”

 

 

 

“And used us to get to you...”

 

 

 

Xellos attempted another smile. “It's ironic, isn't it?”

 

 

 

“Is Zelas going to blame this on us?” he asked softly, a little frightened.

 

 

 

Xellos blinked. “What? No. Surely not. Greater Beast has never done anything so irrational.”

 

 

 

Zel was not encouraged. “Yeah, but she's also never lost you before.”

 

 

 

“That would be highly flattering, but I do not believe so. The only one in danger is me.”

 

 

 

Zelgadis frowned. “Are they going to punish you further?”

 

 

 

Xellos ducked his head, hair showering his eyes. “Gaav had to be destroyed because he was reborn as a human. His Mazoku soul eventually merged irrevocably with his human one.”

 

 

 

“But… You…” He trailed off, staring at him. He’d never heard Xellos admit this much information in one sitting. Part of his mind was trying to process that fact. The other was still trying to get over Xellos looking so small and defeated.

 

 

 

“Dynast will be amused and not send anyone to attack me at first,” Xellos continued softly, “choosing instead to sit back and watch the show. Greater Beast will wait as well, though for different reasons. Dolphin will be the first to attempt my assassination.”

 

 

 

Zelgadis was horrified. “No…”

 

 

 

The former Mazoku stared down at his cup, expressionless. “I must find a way to return to my true form.”

 

 

 

“Is there a way?”

 

 

 

Xellos smiled awkwardly. “Haven't the foggiest. But I'll never know unless I look.”

 

 

 

Zel smiled weakly in return, reminded of his own hopeless quest. “Maybe the Claire Bible will be able to help you.” And, also ironically, they were already looking for another copy.

 

 

 

“Mm, maybe…” Suddenly, Xellos grimaced in pain, clutching his stomach. He whimpered.

 

 

 

“Xellos?” Zel asked, concerned.

 

 

 

“Hurts…” The purple-haired man curled in on himself.

 

 

 

Zelgadis frowned, worried. Then he remembered that Xellos had thrown up nothing. “Is it hunger?”

 

 

 

“I… I don’t know…” His stomach made a noise, however, which answered for him.

 

 

 

The chimera put some broth on over the fire. “Hopefully you can keep something light down.”

 

 

 

Xellos emitted a strained laugh. “I can’t sense emotions any longer. Can’t feed…”

 

 

 

“You’ll just have to eat actual food now.”

 

 

 

The former priest tugged at his hair, obviously making tangles in the short locks. “Seems that way.”

 

 

 

Zel sighed, seeing the signs of another breakdown. “Just calm down. We'll figure something out.”

 

 

 

He could feel Xellos’ eyes on him as he cooked. “You should leave me,” Xellos said after a moment. “Get Lina-san and the others as far away as you can. If I cannot become a Mazoku again, I will remain a target and you will all be at risk. This time, there is no need for it.”

 

 

 

How strange it was that Xellos was still looking out for them, even when he was the most in danger. Had he always been this way? “You made yourself a target when you blocked Dynast's blast. And we're basically looking for the same thing, so...”

 

 

 

Xellos blinked quizzically. “So you are still looking for a cure.”

 

 

 

Zelgadis shrugged. “There probably isn't one, but my other option is to become a hermit, so...”

 

 

 

The new human studied him, nodding slowly. “You would not make a good hermit,” Xellos said in a soft, definitive voice.

 

 

 

“Eh?”

 

 

 

Xellos smiled. “You would get lonely.”

 

 

 

Zelgadis looked away. “That's one reason I started traveling again...”

 

 

 

“Mm… You and the others were unharmed?”

 

 

 

There was that casual concern again. Under the circumstances, Zel thought he should be thinking more about himself. “By some stroke of luck. I'm surprised he didn't just kill us, honestly.”

 

 

 

“He must have considered it more entertaining this way,” Xellos commented softly.

 

 

 

“I don't know why. We're going to help you, and I don't know how that figures into his plans...”

 

 

 

“He wants me to suffer more.”

 

 

 

The fire crackled as Xellos spoke and Zelgadis remembered to check the broth. He poured a bowl for the former priest, handing it to him. “Well, I can't see how that's working. You're human, but you've also got us.”

 

 

 

He took the bowl, not looking at Zel. “It's because.... I care for all of you.”

 

 

 

Zel started, surprised. “You... Well, I mean, now that you're human, I guess...”

 

 

 

Xellos shook his head firmly. “Before,” he said, drinking the broth tentatively.

 

 

 

“How is that possible?” Zelgadis gasped out. “You’re Mazoku.”

 

 

 

“Was, but that's beside the point. As it is, I cannot answer that. Dynast had a peculiar friendship with Hellmaster, Gaav and Valgaav were practically married... It happens occasionally.”

 

 

 

Zel fell into a startled silence for a moment.  “So I'm guessing that's the reason he was angry enough to do this to you.” He turned back to Xellos as sudden realization came to him. “And why Valgaav was so pissed at us!”

 

 

 

“Indeed,” Xellos confirmed mildly, drinking. “They, at least, have had the freedom to act on what they felt. I have had to be more subtle.”

 

 

 

“Why?” Zelgadis prodded, confused.

 

 

 

He stared at the flames, his violet eyes gleaming in the light. “For your sakes and mine. Though it seems to have done no good - Dynast figured it out anyway.”

 

 

 

“I'm really not sure I understand, Xellos...”

 

 

 

Xellos sighed. “It's quite simple, Zelgadis-san. Think back to all the danger that you were in before due to the Lords' plans. They were only using you those times. It was nothing personal. Now... Dynast, at least, knows that it is.”

 

 

 

Zelgadis frowned, thinking that over. “So even if we were to run, they'd probably still kill us to get to you. Since it's now personal...”

 

 

 

Xellos blinked at him, surprise clear in his eyes. Emotions seemed to play easily on his face now, though whether it was due to his current condition or to the fact that he didn’t need to hide anymore was anyone’s guess. “Oh my. I hadn't thought of it that way. Yes, I suppose so.”

 

 

 

“Damned if we do, damned if we don't. You're stuck with us, Xellos.”

 

 

 

His smile then was a bit more like usual. “My goodness.”

 

 

 

It made Zel smirk slightly. “Kind of like how we were stuck with you, huh?”

 

 

 

Xellos giggled softly, and it somehow managed not to be creepy. “Indeed.”

 

 

 

Zel poured himself a cup of coffee. “Are you feeling a bit better, anyway?” The conversation seemed to be getting his mind off of things at least.

 

 

 

“A little. The whole thing still feels... wrong, but for the moment...” Xellos lifted his cup a little, now empty. “This was good.”

 

 

 

Zelgadis shrugged awkwardly. “It's just stock. Once you're used to eating you'll be able to have something better.”

 

 

 

“I ate occasionally. Normally sweet things… Thank you,” he added softly, returning the bowl.

 

 

 

Zel could tell he was uncomfortable – he felt the same, so the shaman quickly changed the subject. “How did you know we were being attacked, Xellos?”

 

 

 

“Ah…” Xellos shifted anxiously. “Well, you're all so good at finding the manuscripts, and as I currently had no more important missions...”

 

 

 

Zel sighed. “I should've figured. You were going to destroy it before I even got to look at it, huh?”

 

 

 

“You can hardly blame me, after seeing the trouble that comes from mass producing Zanaffar armor,” he said in a soft, almost defensive tone.

 

 

 

“You know I don't care about that. All I want is my cure.”

 

 

 

Xellos sighed quietly. “I only destroy pages that pertain in anyway to Zanaffar. That wouldn't have helped you.”

 

 

 

“...I thought you destroyed any part of the Claire Bible.”

 

 

 

He smiled. “You assumed. I never exactly told you the specifics.”

 

 

 

Zelgadis looked away, an old anger stirring. “You've destroyed every piece I've come across, so it was a logical assumption.”

 

 

 

Xellos’ voice softened, almost gentle. “True. But I could not explain myself before. It wasn't allowed. Now... Well, now I am subject to free will.”

 

 

 

“And now you need the Claire Bible too.”

 

 

 

“Again, highly ironic, yes?”

 

 

 

Zel sighed. “Tragic.”

 

 

 

Xellos blinked. “Is it?”

 

 

 

“You're stuck in the same situation I'm in – except yours is more dire – and much of what you've done in the past few years has come back to haunt you.” He hated to admit it, but now he and Xellos had something in common, even if it was terrible.

 

 

 

Xellos made a surprised noise. “... I don't think anyone's ever bothered to understand me so well.”

 

 

 

Zel glanced at him shyly, then back at the fire. “How many people have you known as long as us, aside from other Mazoku?”

 

 

 

“I suppose... with the exception of a few Ryuzoku.... no one,” Xellos said slowly, his tone sounding strange. Zel figured it was only surprise.

 

 

 

“You're not as hard to understand as you seem to think,” he told him mildly.

 

 

 

“Oiya oiya,” Xellos murmured, apparently amused.

 

 

 

Zelgadis glanced at him, confirming the slight smile on the former priest’s face. He did seem a lot better than before, at the very least. “You should get more sleep. We're going to try to reach a town tomorrow, and then we'll spend our time searching for that temple.”

 

 

 

Xellos nodded, strangely meek.  “Yes... My head is feeling a little thick, and....” He trailed off, yawning behind his hand politely.

 

 

 

“Go ahead and take my sleep roll,” Zel offered. “I’ve got watch the rest of the night.”

 

 

 

Obediently, Xellos lay down beside Gourry. He seemed to fall asleep almost immediately, possibly exhausted from his reaction upon waking up and the attack earlier.

 

 

 

Zel watched him for a moment, thoughtful. Xellos’ face seemed different now too, though it was clearly still him. He couldn’t place the changes in the dark. Eventually he poured himself more coffee and returned to his contemplation of the stars.

 

 

 

They were, at least, not as confusing.

 

 

 

 

 

TBC.


	3. Explanations? Xellos tells all!

-

 

3\. Explanations? Xellos tells all!

 

-

 

They couldn’t wait for Xellos to completely recover and get used to his condition. Their supplies were low with one more mouth to feed, and the Mazoku would know they were in this area. They needed to stay on the move – which meant they couldn’t afford to have a base camp either. It only changed their initial plans slightly, as going after the Claire Bible was still the most viable option for the new problem.

 

Lina had suggested that they stay off the main route. After some searching they found a woodcutter’s path that should take them to the nearest village. It was harder to navigate through the thick plant life, but they were less visible from the sky.

 

Even with the need to keep moving, Zelgadis wished they could have given Xellos more time. It was still quite warm and the former Mazoku, unused to such strenuous travel in his new body, drooped visible. He used his staff as a walking stick – which had survived the transformation because, as they found out that morning, it was made of real wood from an ancient, magical tree.

 

Xellos had also been irritable all morning. It was a stark contrast to his normal, almost creepy cheer.

 

Amelia seemed to notice as well and quietly suggested they take a break around midday.

 

Xellos overheard. “I’m fine.”

 

“You look like you’re about to pass out,” Zelgadis told him bluntly.

 

The former priest was sweating, and though his skin was pale, his cheeks were flushed. “The concern is unnecessary.”

 

“You’re not used to this,” Zel said quietly. He knew that Xellos was being stubborn because of his pride. It must have been leftover from his true Mazoku nature. “Don’t push yourself.”

 

Xellos growled irritably. “I am fine!”

 

Zel gave up; if pride was the issue, it wasn’t likely that any argument he put up would even be considered. “Fine. We’ll stop when you pass out.”

 

“I am not going to...!” Even as he spoke, Xellos teetered. He would have fallen over if Gourry hadn’t rushed to his side. “Oh dear.”

 

“Xellos-san, there's no shame in a little rest,” Amelia told him gently, her concern obvious.

 

Lina clapped her hands. “Right, that's settled. There's a lake over there. Gourry and I are going to fish. You two take care of Mister I'm Fine.”

 

“Fishing!” Gourry cheered, grinning.

 

Lina shared a grin with her protector and led the way to the nearby lake, breaking off twigs and pulling out her fishing gear.

 

When Zel turned back, Xellos was irritably shaking off Amelia’s support, sitting down on a boulder that must have rolled into the small grove they rested in years ago. The chimera handed him a canteen silently.

 

Xellos frowned at him, obviously not wanting to take any offered help, but he accepted it grudgingly as thirst won the battle.

 

“It'll take a while for Lina to catch enough fish to satisfy her,” Zelgadis reminded him, taking a seat under the shade of a tree. “You might as well relax.”

 

The former priest sighed quietly and, with a terribly displeased expression, moved from the boulder to sit beside the chimera in the shade. Despite his stubbornness, he looked relieved to be out of the sun anyway. Zel hid a smug smile.

 

Amelia cast levitation on herself and floated gracefully up into the air, checking their progress so far. “Looks like only another five miles to go until town.”

 

Xellos grimaced. “Wonderful,” he said with a heavy note of sarcasm.

 

Zel sighed. He wanted to be irritated right back at Xellos, but he couldn’t. Not when he understood the reason for it so well. “You'll get used to it. It'll just take some time to build up your stamina. You're too used to teleporting everywhere.”

 

“I liked teleporting,” Xellos grumbled.

 

“And I liked swimming,” he replied shortly. “You'll get used to it.”

 

Abruptly, Xellos’ expression softened. He looked at Zel with a strange thoughtfulness.

 

Zelgadis glanced his way, unable to interpret what that face could mean. “What?”

 

Xellos only shook his head as Amelia landed.

 

Amelia sat down on Xellos’ other side and got a good look at his open eyes. “Xellos-san... Your eyes are different now too.”

 

Zel leaned in to get a closer look as well. Sure enough, the pupils were no longer slitted like a cat’s, but round and normal. “Huh. They look human now. Still purple, but human.”

 

Amelia nodded eagerly. “Yes!”

 

“They also looked, well, dead before. Now they don’t. Interesting.”

 

“Ah…” Xellos breathed softly, his face red. Amelia felt his forehead. Xellos batted her hand away again with a scowl.

 

The princess pouted. “Xellos-san, if you're not feeling well, I need to know.”

 

Leaning back against the tree, Zel glanced at Xellos again – he still looked irritated – and shrugged. “Amelia, he's probably just overheated and exhausted from all this walking. A little rest and he should be fine.”

 

She frowned but nodded. “I guess... But I would feel better if we knew for certain if healing spells would be safe.”

 

“Healing spells don't help with illness, anyway. You know that, Amelia.”

 

“But there could be something else wrong,” she pressed.

 

Xellos rubbed his forehead, getting a headache either from the heat or the girl’s concern. “It's fine, Amelia-san. Leave it be.”

 

“But, Xellos-san…”

 

Xellos shook his head, his eyes drooping. “Please.”

 

Zelgadis exchanged a look with Amelia, minutely shaking his head so she’d stop. “You probably have time for a short nap. At least we won't be walking in the heat of the day.”

 

“Mm…” Xellos’ lashes fluttered a bit more as he tried to fight sleep, but he soon lost the battle, his breath evening out as he quickly fell asleep. He leaned back against the trunk of the tree, his face smoothing.

 

“He looks innocent like this,” Amelia noted softly with a smile, sitting nearby.

 

“Don't get too used to it,” Zel chided her. “He has to find a cure or we're all in big trouble.”

 

“I know that, but... This way he's not our enemy.”

 

Zel shrugged. “He wasn't really our enemy before. Just Mazoku.”

 

“Mazoku are the enemy of all,” Amelia said stubbornly.

 

“Yeah, and dragons are our friends. Remember how that worked out?” He still felt bitter about the twisted sense of justice of the golden dragons at the temple of the Fire Dragon Lord, and their attempted betrayal.

 

Amelia sighed, frowning. “Filia-san's clan believed they were doing the right thing, even if it was done out of fear.”

 

“Bad things with good intentions or good things with bad intentions. Either way, he did save my life back there. Dynast would've killed me if he hadn't intervened.”

 

“Yes... Maybe a Mazoku can change.”

 

Zel considered arguing the point; Mazoku were what they had been created to be: destroyers of the world, evil. Supposedly the opposite of the dragons, who weren’t as good as they liked to believe. But arguing with Amelia over this was useless; she’d never stopped believing in her black-and-white sense of justice.

 

Xellos slumped to the side, his head falling on Zel’s shoulder.

 

He scooted over and lowered Xellos onto the grass gently, his fingers tingling a bit at the touch. Xellos’ body felt warm and soft now, very different from how he had felt when Zelgadis had touched him briefly when he was a Mazoku. He felt _real_ , and it made Zel uncomfortable.

 

Despite his effort, Xellos shifted again in his sleep, settling his head against Zel’s hip.

 

The chimera didn’t move, watching the sky pensively. He tried not to think about Xellos at all. That wasn’t easy at the best of times, and was certainly impossible with him so close and Amelia’s unwavering fascination.

 

The princess giggled softly. “He doesn't seem to like touch when he's awake, but when he's asleep he can't fight it.”

 

Zel shrugged. “I don't get why you're so fascinated by this. Him being human is a real problem.”

 

She pouted defensively. “I don't know, he's just... cute. I suppose he was cute before, but in a different way.”

 

“I think the word you're looking for is ‘disturbing,’” Zel said mildly. He was torn between alarm and amusement at her little crush. He hoped Xellos wouldn’t lead her on; he didn’t want her to get hurt.

 

“Yeah!” Amelia agreed, nodding.

 

Zelgadis smirked. “Be sure to tell him you think he's cute. He might find it funny.”

 

The princess blushed shyly. “Zelgadis-san!”

 

“You're the one who said it.”

 

She huffed and crossed her arms, embarrassed.

 

Zelgadis stifled a laugh and turned serious. “We need to figure out what we're going to do when the Mazoku attack.”

 

She nodded. “Yes. I'm sure Lina-san will want to have a strategy meeting soon.”

 

The shaman glanced down at Xellos’ sleeping form. “He seems to think that we should leave, but either way we're a target.”

 

“That's so sweet... But of course we wouldn't leave him! He got into this protecting us.”

 

“He would've been better off if he hadn't,” Zel murmured darkly, picking a long strand of grass and tearing along the center vein. He didn’t want to be reminded of the debt he’d failed to repay.

 

“Dynast-san would have killed you,” said Xellos softly from the ground.

 

Zel started, surprised that he was awake. He got over it quickly and shrugged. “Yeah, he would have. But you wouldn't be in this situation.”

 

“Don't be so self-sacrificing, Zelgadis-san,” Xellos mumbled irritably.

 

“Like you?” Zel retorted.

 

Xellos actually flushed, opening one eye to glare at him.

 

Zel gave him a mild look in return, not at all scared as he would have been normally. Xellos was hardly threatening like this. Zelgadis tried to ignore how attractive the blush made him.

 

Xellos’ face reddened further and he looked away, appearing quite cranky.

 

“Look, I’m just stating a fact,” Zelgadis sighed. “You would’ve been better off.”

 

“From a certain point of view, perhaps,” Xellos muttered. He seemed almost angry that Zel had pointed out that he should have been looking after himself, which would have been the Mazoku thing to do.

 

He grinned crookedly, discomforted. “Not from mine, certainly, since I'd be dead.”

 

Xellos blinked at him in surprise before softening, his lips twitching. “Of course.”

 

“You should be resting,” Zel reminded him, his own mood lightening as Xellos seemed to cheer up a little.

 

Xellos poked his thigh. “So much talking.”

 

Zel flushed at the playful touch. He hardly felt it, but it still bothered him. “Sorry.”

 

“I'll let it pass,” the former Mazoku said lightly. “This time.”

 

Xellos sat up and yawned, running a hand through his hair to brush off dirt and a dried leaf. Their shoulders touched, but as the minutes ticked by Xellos didn’t seem inclined to move away. Zel didn’t move, either. It was only a casual touch, he assured himself. Surely Xellos hadn’t moved closer to him on purpose just so they would continue touching.

 

“Are you feeling a little better, Xellos-san?” Amelia asked shyly.

 

“Yes,” he answered. “For some reason, the heat seems to make me irritable. I apologize if I was snippy earlier.”

 

“It makes most people snippy,” Zelgadis told him. “Why do you think Lina's so unbearable in the afternoon?”

 

Xellos inclined his head in acknowledgement and quirked a smile. “Aha. That’s reassuring. Perhaps I'll be as strong as she is once I recover.”

 

“I don't know about that,” Amelia said doubtfully. “But you'll feel better, anyway.”

 

“That is reassuring also, Amelia-san.” He patted the girl’s head like one would a child.

 

Amelia blushed and stood abruptly. “I'm going to go check and see if Lina and Gourry are done fishing.”

 

Xellos smiled and wiggled his fingers in a playful, silly wave.

 

Zel watched her run off with a frown, waiting until she had joined Lina and Gourry, where she could not hear them. “You're cruel.”

 

Xellos shrugged, their shoulders rubbing. “Before I couldn't even be around her if she was feeling that way. Besides, it's not a serious crush and I have no intentions of letting it become so.”

 

“Her emotions were that strong?” While he’d suspected it, he hadn’t expected Xellos to admit it.

 

“Oh yes. She's an intense young woman. You should feel the emotions she has for you and Lina-san.”

 

The chimera flushed, embarrassed, and he tried not to squirm. “I really hope she doesn't still have a crush on me. That was awkward, to say the least.”

 

Xellos shook his head, seemingly amused. “No, her crush has calmed down, the last I checked. Her feelings for Lina-san were much stronger.”

 

As the words sank in, Zel could only gape at him openly. “She... _Seriously_?”

 

Xellos’ smile was coy, and he held a finger to his lips. “Amelia-san 'goes both ways' as you – or rather we – humans say.”

 

“Huh… And Lina?” he asked, intrigued. Zelgadis wasn’t really sure he wanted the two girls to date, as Lina was destructive. Even if he wasn’t in love with her he still felt protective of Amelia.

 

Xellos shrugged again. “She cares for Amelia, but like all of her feelings, she keeps them very bottled up. Sexuality in general makes her flustered. I believe she suffered some sort of trauma due to the prank she pulled on her sister.”

 

Zel blushed slightly, discomforted himself by the subject, but he couldn’t contain his curiosity. “Prank?”

 

The other man grinned mischievously, explaining gleefully. “It's no secret if you know how to find out. Lina-san, being a rather enterprising young woman, used magic to take pictures of her sister showering and showed them to men for money. Luna-sama was very much not amused when she found out, leading to Lina-san's fear of her. Luna-sama very rarely leaves their hometown, so I would assume that Lina-san left in part for her own safety.”

 

Zelgadis shook his head in amazement. “Lina would do that for a little cash, wouldn't she?”

 

Xellos giggled. “Oh yes. Though it probably wasn't a good idea taking naked pictures of Ceiphied's Knight!”

 

“Lina's sister is Ceiphied's Knight?!” Zel gasped, sitting up straight. The Knight of Ceiphied was a famous, though mysterious figure. She did not show herself often – and if Xellos wasn’t lying about her not leaving their hometown, that would explain it.

 

And to think that Lina came from _that_ lineage! It certainly explained a few things about the hotheaded sorceress.

 

“Given Lina-san's abject fear, you can hardly blame her for not mentioning it. Even thinking of Luna-sama sends her into hysterics.”

 

The shaman chuckled suddenly. “Like when Wizer was trying to catch her?”

 

Xellos beamed. “Indeed! He had a lot of help from yours truly on that occasion though. It was so amusing to watch him try so hard...”

 

“You and your practical jokes.” Surprisingly, Zelgadis felt no hard feelings for that. At least none at the moment.

 

“Wizer-san irritated me, to be honest with you. I couldn't stand not to.”

 

“You're not the only one he irritated,” Zel reminded him.

 

“Saa. Next time I'll let you join in on the fun, if you like. It'll help.” He pressed a demure hand to his mouth, giggling more behind it.

 

“You were trying to kidnap us at the time, Xellos,” Zelgadis pointed out, growling a little. That had been a close call, even if Xellos hadn’t taken it seriously.

 

“I believed you could handle Gioconda-san easily,” Xellos said easily, as if it were truly nothing. “Zuuma-san's vendetta came as a surprise however. As did Duclis setting Zanaffar loose.”

 

“Just another typical adventure,” Zel sighed. If people weren’t trying to kill them, it wasn’t a real journey. He should have expected that this journey would be no different.

 

Xellos nodded in amusement and leaned subtly against him. Zelgadis pretended not to notice.

 

“You might want to take a nap while you can,” he told the former priest softly.

 

“Probably…” Xellos sighed, and continued speaking quietly. “It's rare for me to talk like this with anyone. I fear I'll grow to enjoy it too easily.”

 

Zelgadis blinked at the sudden serious note in Xellos’ voice. He’d never heard the former Mazoku speak so sincerely before. “Like this?”

 

“Yes. No hidden agendas or wordplay. Just talking.”

 

“Ah,” Zel murmured, thoughtful. He wondered how many hidden layers Xellos had, or what it would be like to live a life of secrets and lies. Had Xellos felt as trapped as a human would? Or had he just accepted it as what he was?

 

Xellos’ smile was soft as he closed eyes and dozed lightly. There were other differences in Xellos’ face than just his eyes. This close, he could see that his skin had taken on a more natural color, with a slight pastiness that would likely fade as he got more sun. He could see pores where there had never been any. Even with the minor imperfections, he was still incredibly attractive. He was, in fact, almost more attractive this way.

 

Zelgadis tore his eyes away, keeping his senses alert in case of attack. He focused on the clouds until Lina and the others returned, refusing to be distracted.

 

They brought with them a large load of fish. They had already skinned and cooked them by the river, which Zelgadis assumed had been done in consideration of Xellos’ still-weak stomach. Not that Lina would ever admit to being concerned.

 

Zelgadis leaned forward. “Smells good.”

 

Gourry smiled. “We had some spices left over. Think Xellos feels like eating?”

 

Xellos opened his eyes and stretched. Zelgadis hoped the former priest would sleep properly later.

 

“Xellos is willing to try.”

 

Lina raised an eyebrow. “Talking about yourself in the third person?”

 

“Only when other people do,” Xellos replied cheerfully.

 

Amelia brought Xellos a plate. “If you don't feel like eating this, Xellos-san, we can fix more broth,” she said quietly, apparently still shy from earlier.

 

Zelgadis served the purple haired man several fish. “You should be fine as long as you take small bites.”

 

Xellos nodded and nibbled tentatively. He blinked at the taste, as though surprised, and chewed a bit before swallowing. The taste seemed to be pleasing, as he took another small bite.

 

Turning his attention away again, Zel took some fish for himself and poured tea for both of them. “Did you guys eat by the lake?” he asked the others.

 

Lina smiled sheepishly, caught in the act of fixing herself a helping. “A little…”

 

The chimera rolled his eyes. Typical Lina. “You left fish in the lake, right?”

 

“Of course we did! Sheesh!”

 

Gourry laughed fondly. “At least, we think so.”

 

Zelgadis took a bite of the fish and understood why Xellos was surprised by the taste. “Who cooked it? It's good.”

 

Amelia beamed, flushing slightly in happiness. “I did!”

 

“You’re getting better at it,” Zel told her.

 

Though she had always had people who cooked for her and she had started out a terrible cook, the princess was gradually getting better.

 

Amelia flushed happily at the compliment. “Thank you, Zelgadis-san.”

 

Lina spoke in between bites, getting down to business. “I hate to break the mood, but we need to figure out a game plan for when they attack. Will the lords attack directly?”

 

“I doubt it,” Xellos answered, using his fork to slice the remains of his fish into smaller bites. “Dolphin moves rarely these days, and Dynast is too lazy to even name most of his servants, let alone do their jobs for them.”

 

Zel choked on his tea briefly, startled. “ _That_ was lazy?”

 

“It's been three years since Hellmaster died,” Xellos pointed out in a reasonable tone.

 

Lina frowned thoughtfully. “It _did_ take him a while to get around to it, at least by human standards.”

 

“So they'll send their servants after us first?” Zelgadis asked.

 

Xellos nodded firmly. “I'm quite certain.” Then the next thing he said absolutely floored them. “Would you like information on them?”

 

Lina stared at him, and Zel couldn’t blame her. He could hardly believe it himself. Xellos, the ultimate keeper of secrets, was willing to share info? It was too much!

 

“Whoa,” she said. “You're actually going to give us information on the Mazoku?”

 

Xellos’ grin was evil, though wasn’t as sinister as it had once been. “Free will,” was his mysterious reply.

 

Meaning now that he was human, Xellos was subject to the same privilege of free will as they were, for possibly the first time in his life. It must have been a heady experience, Zel guessed. “Won't there be consequences when you go back?” he asked softly.

 

Xellos seemed decidedly unconcerned, however. “I don't imagine that my master will mind that I did all I could to survive so that I could return to her side safely.”

 

“Will she come after us?” Lina asked, this new worry arising. “After you?”

 

Xellos chewed thoughtfully on the last of his fish. “She'll wait for the time being. My master moves more carefully than her siblings.”

 

“If she does, we'll have to fight her,” Lina pressed grimly so that he would understand. “You know that. Will that be a problem?”

 

Hesitantly, Xellos lifted his head to look her in the eye. His expression was as serious as hers, showing that he did indeed understand. “No. If she comes before I've had time to change back, I will help you kill her.”

 

Zelgadis wasn’t surprised. Xellos would do whatever he had to in order to accomplish his goal. It was something else they had in common, though he wouldn’t admit it. “Survival first.”

 

Amelia was shocked. “But she's like your mother!”

 

“The Golden Lord is the Mother of All,” Xellos told her quite calmly. “My master merely created me.”

 

Still, Zelgadis couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to it. Xellos had lived for a thousand years and so the oldest companion he’d had must be his master. Zel didn’t doubt that regardless of the circumstances, it would still be painful for him to fight the Greater Beast.

 

Lina winced, no doubt pained by the mention of the Lord of Nightmares. “Back to the matter at hand. Who is Dolphin most likely to send first?”

 

“Her general, Riksfalto-san, has an extremely frank personality,” Xellos explained, setting his plate aside and folding his hands in his lap. “She hates lies and deception, so you can imagine that she's never been terribly fond of me.” He gave them a weak, half smile. “Her primary attack is brute force alone.”

 

Zelgadis frowned, his earlier worry returning. “Wait, Xellos. I know you said Zelas won’t mind, but won’t having this information put us in danger? Won’t the other Mazoku be angry that you gave it?”

 

“I’m not sure,” Xellos answered, looking at him with a frank, almost puzzled expression. “In the old days, this information was actually documented by humans. After the Koma war, however, things changed.”

 

“Zel, we're in danger right now without it,” Lina pointed out, obviously not caring about their future safety, only their current danger.

 

Then Xellos surprised him by touching his arm. “As you said, survival first.”

 

Zelgadis flinched away slightly, then sighed and nodded. Xellos removed his hand and the chimera relaxed. “So she'll send her general after us?” he asked to change the subject, hoping to avoid talking about his reaction. He didn’t know why Xellos would touch him in the first place.

 

“Most likely,” Xellos went on as though nothing had happened. “Her priest, Huraker, is slightly stronger - in fact, she could possibly compete with the power of two Shinzoku. But Dolphin may want to test what remains of my power before sending her in. Huraker-san often appears to be a silly young woman in order to trick others, so be wary of anyone you meet when you're not in my presence.”

 

Lina picked her teeth with a fishbone. “Hmmm... So you're saying you have some power left?”

 

Xellos smiled. “Yes, which I believe will grow once I've fully recovered. And, this body has some added benefits...” He held out his hand suddenly. “Lighting!”

 

Zelgadis watched the ball of light rise with some amazement, though he wasn’t really surprised that Xellos at least knew how to cast white magic, even though he would have been unable to actually perform it before. “Huh. So you’re a sorcerer. The power just isn’t innate like it was, right?”

 

Amelia tilted her head thoughtfully. “But Lighting is white magic, Xellos-san.”

 

Lina’s eyes widened fractionally. “Ahh. That's one of the benefits. So if you're injured we can cast Recovery on you without a problem, huh?”

 

Xellos nodded, letting the spell fade. “I believe so, though I did not have an opportunity to check that earlier as well. To answer Zelgadis-san's question, I learned magic long ago though I've only used it while impersonating a human before.”

 

“Like when you cast Blast Bomb that one time using the talismans, right?” the redhead asked.

 

He smiled. “I'm flattered you remember, Lina-san. Yes, exactly like that.”

 

Zel sipped his tea, finishing it off. “So you'll be able to back us up with some magic – just not as much as before.”

 

Xellos nodded, folding his hands again. Zelgadis observed that as he seemed to be feeling better, his posture was straighter against the tree, which was also more normal for him. “Yes. Though as I haven't fully recovered, the level of my power remains unknown.”

 

“Well, I doubt they're going to wait for you to recover to attack.”

 

“It's hard to say,” Xellos said. “Gaav was a bigger threat and they waited over a thousand years for the right time. Of course, by then there was no denying what a threat he had become.”

 

“So we'll just have to be on guard, right?” Gourry asked.

 

The former Mazoku nodded. “Gourry-san will likely feel them first. You have the best instincts for that sort of thing.”

 

“He was the first one to figure out you were Mazoku,” Zelgadis agreed, remembering. “Just actually tell us this time, Gourry.”

 

Gourry laughed sheepishly, rubbing his long hair. “Sorry. I just figured if I knew about it, the rest of you had figured it out way before me.”

 

Amelia made a thoughtful noise. “And if we had known, Lina-san would have hit him for being stupid.”

 

Gourry nodded. “That's normally how it goes.”

 

“Oi!” Lina complained. “I'm not that bad!”

 

Zelgadis, Amelia, and Xellos all looked at her in disbelief. Past experience was not in her favor.

 

Lina glared threateningly, muscles tensing as she prepared to dole out punishment as her short temper reared its ugly head.

 

Xellos smoothly distracted her. “As for Dynast's servants, you met his priest and general plus many new minions who were probably created just for the curse.”

 

“We couldn't fight them, though,” Zel pointed out glumly.

 

“Dynast was giving them additional energy, as far as I could tell. Also, he carefully kept Lina-san from using Ragna Blade. We will need to cover Lina-san more efficiently in the future. “

 

Lina sighed deeply. “Well, it's do or die when the time comes, huh?”

 

“Always is,” Zelgadis said, feeling just as bleak as she looked. He glanced at Xellos, noting that he appeared to have recovered. “Let's get going. It's going to be dusk soon.”

 

Amelia helped Xellos to his feet as Gourry disposed of the remains of their meal.

 

Xellos smiled politely. “Thank you, Amelia-san. You're so helpful.”

 

The princess blushed, ducking her head shyly and murmuring a reply.

 

Lina turned back to them and glared suspiciously.

 

Zelgadis sighed. He had a feeling the next few days were going to be very long.

 

-

 

TBC! Please review. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some potential yuri this chapter. Also – since Dolphin and Dynast haven’t made it to the anime yet, and Tokyopop doesn’t seem interested in translating the rest of the novels, we’re just going from the scant information we have on the remaining Lords and their servants. We know it’s not correct. (Also too lazy to read Knight of the Aqualord right now, so yeah.)


	4. Terrible! Intimacy Interrupted

4\. Terrible! Intimacy Interrupted

 

-

 

Zelgadis pulled his hood down further over his eyes, muttering about what a cheapskate Lina Inverse was.

 

They had arrived at the village and Lina had carelessly suggested that he take Xellos to the tailors—and pay for it himself—and headed off to an inn with Amelia and Gourry before he could reply.

 

The village was of a descent size even if it was pretty far away from the major cities. There were just enough people walking along the streets to make him feel uncomfortable, so he kept his face hidden.

 

How strange it was to be walking beside Xellos unaccompanied. He couldn’t remember a time when they had been completely alone together. Xellos had certainly not sought out his company before. If anything, the priest had always seemed more interested in Lina.

 

Of course, this made it harder to deny to himself the effect Xellos had on him, but he would keep hiding it from everyone else. It was stupid anyway—Xellos’ form had never been real, and though he was human now, it wouldn’t last forever. They had to change Xellos back into a Mazoku or else things would get a lot worse very quickly.

 

Even if he was stuck with his curse, it was no reason for Xellos to be as well.

 

Then there was the uncomfortable fact that Xellos had always reminded him of a demented version of his grandfather, and thinking about Rezo always brought back those feelings of betrayal and hatred. All of his insecurities and trust issues stemmed from that one event, and no matter what, he couldn’t forget it. He couldn’t forget that the person he had loved the most had turned him into _this_.

 

How could he even consider opening up his heart again after that? And to Xellos of all people, one of the most untrustworthy people he had ever met. There was just no way.

 

He muttered again about Lina, and Xellos patted his back lightly. The touch startled him.

 

“She wouldn't be Lina-san if she acted any differently.”

 

Zelgadis sighed. Xellos was far too accepting of Lina’s bad traits. “She dragged Amelia with her to pay for their meal.”

 

Xellos laughed softly. “I'll pay you back, Zelgadis-san.”

 

The younger man shrugged. “It's not money that bothers me. I have more than I use, generally – not that I let Lina know that!”

 

“Smart,” Xellos said, looking around. “I haven't been to this village before. Perhaps we should ask where their tailor can be found.”

 

“You'd better ask,” Zel grumbled, pointedly tugging on his hood again. “People will get nervous if I do.”

 

Xellos nodded and touched his arm gently before turning to the nearest villager. Zelgadis surreptitiously moved his arm away – where had Xellos’ irritable avoidance of touch gone? – and kept his face averted from the villager.

 

Xellos spoke to the woman in his usual polite manner, and she was all too happy to give them directions. “Thank you, ma’am,” the former priest said and turned back to Zel. “Shall we?”

 

Zelgadis nodded and led the way down the street, eager to get away from curious gazes of the townspeople. “Hopefully it won't take too long.”

 

Xellos’ smile grew. “I shall keep it simple,” he promised.

 

It would have been easy to spot even without the directions, for the shop’s window was decorated with clothes of a rather flamboyant style. Zelgadis supposed it was the current fashion of the upper class, as no one certainly dressed that way locally. The patterns and colors seemed more like something that Gioconda would have worn. The reminder of the sadistic woman did nothing to help his mood.

 

He entered the shop and let Xellos take the lead, trying to stay as unobtrusive as possible and hoping the eccentric man wouldn’t ask for anything like what was in the window display. _That_ would be embarrassing to walk beside, though at least the attention would be on Xellos and not himself.

 

The tailor was a young man with sandy blond hair, and Zelgadis thought at first that he was only an apprentice. But there appeared to be no one else in the shop, and as the man spoke, suddenly the window began to make sense.

 

“Very nice,” said the tailor, eyeing Xellos up and down in an openly appreciative manner. “I rarely get to work with fit sorcerers.”

 

Xellos positively brightened with gleeful amusement, looking much like his normal self. “Oh?”

 

“No, most are overweight. Use their magic to do everything for them.”

 

Xellos giggled. “Our group definitely gets its exercise.”

 

The tailor glanced over at Zel and smiled. “So it seems. Does he need clothes too?” He seemed far too eager to perform the task. The appreciative gaze bothered the chimera; he felt almost as though the man was undressing him with his eyes.

 

“Ah, no, Zelgadis-san prefers his shaman garb.”

 

Zelgadis shifted, highly uncomfortable with being the center of attention. “My clothing is fine.”

 

“I'm not saying it isn't!” said the tailor quickly. “In fact, guys can rarely pull off the all white look, but you definitely can. You, on the other hand...” He turned his attention back to Xellos, chewing thoughtfully on a pin. Zel didn’t feel that was the smartest thing to do with something sharp. “I think I've got an idea.”

 

Zelgadis relaxed once Xellos became the tailor’s focus once more. He watched from his corner as Xellos was primed and measured into a sleek black outfit – thankfully of a casual traveling design. Xellos put up with and was seemingly amused by the tailor’s almost endless flirtations. It seemed so casual, as though the man didn’t really even notice that he was doing it.

 

A cape and new boots finished off the look. Xellos did a little turn in front of the mirror, studying the way the material hung on his form. “Lovely,” he said, admiringly. “Absolutely lovely. And the material is so soft...”

 

“Looks durable, as well,” Zel murmured politely and pulled out his coin purse. It was a bit pricy, but Xellos did need his own clothes.

 

“Thank you, sirs,” said the tailor, smiling. “Come again if you ever have a need.”

 

Zelgadis rather hoped not. He put the spare clothes Xellos had worn in his pack and they left the shop.

 

“What a delightful young man,” Xellos murmured cheerfully, his staff tapping softly on the ground as they walked.

 

Zelgadis shrugged, disinterested now that they had left the shop. “I guess. Let's just get back to the inn.”

 

Xellos tilted his head in a curious gesture, but his newly-human eyes expressed sympathy. “Yes. I need a bath, actually.”

 

“Well, Lina chose this inn for their baths as well as the food, so you're in luck.”

 

“Splendid,” he said with a smile, then began batting his eyelashes in a particularly foolish manner. “I don't suppose you would assist me? I'm still feeling weak, and it's not something I would like to ask Amelia-san.”

 

“I don't intend to take a bath,” Zel answered gruffly, discomfited.

 

“You would not have to get into the water.”

 

“I would still have to get undressed.”

 

And that was the entire problem. He couldn’t stand people looking at him – at all. He could feel their eyes on him and anxiety would build unbearably in his stomach. He would feel hatred and disgust for what he was. He was a freak.

 

He didn’t want anyone to see him.

 

Xellos’ smile was oddly kind. “What if I fixed it so that no one else would see you?”

 

“Just drop it, Xellos,” Zelgadis all but snapped. “Please.”

 

“It would only take a few moments,” the former priest continued to prod gently.

 

Zel sighed in frustration. “You're not going to give up, are you?”

 

Xellos’ smile was bright and smug. “You know me well enough by now to know that,” he pointed out in a cheerfully reasonable tone.

 

The chimera scowled at him suspiciously. “What would you do?”

 

His reply was far too happy, and he wagged a playful finger. _“Hi-mi-tsu desu!”_

 

Zelgadis glared at the typical answer murderously. Xellos may be human, but he was still an irritating bastard. “Then forget it.”

 

His head tilted to the side, hair falling slightly in his face as he looked at Zel seriously. “Please,” he murmured softly.

 

“Can't you just ask Gourry?” Zel asked, all but pleading.

 

“I prefer you,” Xellos said.

 

The words sunk in slowly; for a moment Zelgadis struggled to process them. He blinked at the purple-haired man, his face heating from a blush. “Why?”

 

Instead of replying like a sane person, Xellos moved too quickly for him to react, darting in and kissing his cheek. Then just as quickly he was gone, rushing toward the inn door. “Wait for me in the changing room! It won't take long!”

 

Zelgadis stared after him in shock. It was embarrassing to consider that the casual, brief contact was his first kiss.

 

Shaking his head to clear it, he walked inside. He hesitated a moment, pondering the logic (and the foolishness) of the whole thing before he made up his mind. He went to the baths and found the dressing area completely devoid of people, as was the bath itself.

 

Zelgadis waited and did not undress. When Xellos came in, he looked incredibly pleased with himself as he placed a sign on the door. The door closed before Zel could read what it said.

 

“What did you do?” he demanded.

 

Xellos smiled. “It was far more innocent than usual and no one was harmed. I promise.”

 

Zelgadis huffed, reminding himself that Lina had once recently said that Xellos never lied. “Fine.”

 

Having evaded explaining himself, Xellos began to undress. Zelgadis turned away and, after another moment of hesitation, did the same. He knew this wasn’t the smartest thing he’d ever done, especially after that playful kiss earlier, but it also wasn’t safe to leave Xellos alone. Since Xellos had insisted that he be there and not Gourry, he was practically obligated to stay, wasn’t he?

 

He _was_ obligated, since Xellos had been cursed saving his life. Zelgadis wrapped a towel around his waist and followed Xellos out to the bath area.

 

It was a completely enclosed pool, with some potted plants set along the sides for decoration. The water steamed lightly, and the air in the room was hot and damp. Almost immediately the moisture began to solidify on his cool, stone skin in tiny beads. Zelgadis sat down near the edge and watched as Xellos slipped into the water.

 

The former Mazoku made a cute, surprised sound. “Oh! Oh my…” He trailed off, giggling. Xellos turned around to face him, with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes. He was more than beautiful.

 

“The water feels different in this body,” Xellos confided in a soft, slightly breathless voice.

 

The effect it had on Zelgadis was instantaneous. Desire surged through his body. Xellos was human now, not the hard to reach Mazoku priest he had always been. Zelgadis could easily overpower him, pull that soft, enticing body out of the water and have his way with him. The thought, though tempting, sent a sickened shiver through him; he could never take advantage of someone like that, even Xellos.

 

He looked away, uncomfortable with his reaction. “I barely feel it.”

 

“Oh…” He saw the smile falter slightly when he glanced back. “I didn't realize.”

 

“I'm used to it by now. The warmth doesn't seep through my skin, either. One of the problems with having stone skin.”

 

Xellos folded his arms on the edge of the bath, looking up at him with surprisingly expressive purple eyes. Zel’s heart constricted. “Among many, it seems... But you seem almost content with it now.”

 

His discomfort grew. “I wouldn't say content, but I don't really have a choice but to accept it. Not a real choice, anyway.”

 

Xellos nodded and continued in a softer voice. “I hope that if I find the same waiting for me, I can be as... courageous as you.”

 

Zelgadis looked away, deciding not to answer. He wouldn’t call it courage since, as he just said, he had no real choice in the matter. It was either accept what he was and keep up this casual search until he found out if Rezo was telling the truth or not, kill himself, or go mad. The latter two weren’t very appealing.

 

Movement from beside him brought his attention back to Xellos as the other man turned away.

 

“Wash my hair please?” Xellos asked gently.

 

Startled, Zel hesitated. Could he really touch him like this? He certainly wasn’t in _the mood_ anymore, and not being able to see Xellos’ eyes seemed to help as well. At least the bastard wasn’t asking for more than that – though Zel wouldn’t put it past him.

 

“Sure.” He grabbed a shampoo bottle that was sitting nearby and squirted some of the liquid onto his hand, then shrugged. “I don't have hair to wash, so...”

 

“It's alright. Hold on.” Xellos slid back into the water enough to get his hair wet up to his scalp, then sat back up again. “There.”

 

With trepidation, Zel worked the shampoo into the short purple locks. He was careful to avoid pulling the hair or scraping his head with stone fingers. Xellos’ hair felt soft and wet under his fingers, but because of his skin Zelgadis couldn’t feel it all that well. He concentrated on the task.

 

Xellos sighed suddenly and leaned backward. Uncomfortable still, Zelgadis shifted backward. “I'm not hurting you, am I?”

 

“I'm fine. You're doing well. Please continue.” He could hear the smile in the reassuring tone, and figured it was probably the truth.

 

Zel finished lathering the shampoo, then pulled his hands away carefully, not wanting to pull Xellos’ hair accidentally. “There,” he murmured, dipping his hands into the water to wash away the soap. He stood and moved away from the bath.

 

“Thank you.” Xellos dipped down under the water once more to wash out the shampoo. As Zel watched, his pale body suddenly began flailing underneath the water, and he noticed another figure in the water. Neither of them had noticed the intruder.

 

“Xellos!” Zelgadis didn’t think about it. He leapt back to the pool and yanked Xellos from the Mazoku’s grip.

 

Freed from his attacker, Xellos clung to Zel tightly, choking up water and gasping. “Zelgadis-san,” the former priest whispered hoarsely.

 

The Mazoku rose from the water with a high pitched, giddy laugh. It was large and black, thankfully not very humanoid, meaning that it was a lower-level monster. It waved the towel it had stolen from Xellos around in the air mockingly. “So it's true. You really are pathetic now, Xellos.”

 

Zelgadis pushed Xellos behind him protectively and began to chant. He got a face full of wet towel as the Mazoku flung it at him, interrupting the spell. Cursing, he struggled as the Mazoku caught him, its hands burning against his hard skin.

 

The Mazoku continued to laugh. “A bath is such an intimate thing. Do you like this one, Xellos?”

 

He let the words fuel his anger and managed to yank the towel from his head, pulling some of his hair out with it. He ignored the pain. “Elmekia Lance!”

 

The Mazoku squeaked in surprised and teleported away, back into the water.

 

“Freeze Arrow!” he heard Xellos gasp behind him, the spell freezing the bath water. Zel looked back and saw that Xellos had propped himself up against a wall. He was still coughing and very naked.

 

Swallowing hard, Zelgadis returned his attention quickly back to the frozen bath, circling around it and watching carefully. Along the way he saw another towel someone had left behind and tossed it to Xellos, who wrapped it around himself.

 

“Careful,” Xellos wheezed softly.

 

As he continued to cough, Zelgadis felt his concern grow. “You okay?”

 

Xellos laughed weakly, a strained sound. “There are slightly more pressing matters at the moment, dear.”

 

It was the startling endearment that distracted him from the bath. He looked at the purple-haired man in surprise.

 

Xellos blushed, then looked alarmed. “Zelgadis-san!”

 

The warning narrowly saved him, enabling him dodge the blast of dark energy just in time. But the Mazoku anticipated the move and appeared in front of Zel in a flash, grabbing him by the throat. Zelgadis struggled furiously for a moment before casting, not really thinking about it. “Ra Tilt!”

 

Familiar blue-white energy consumed the Mazoku. Its cry was cut off as it disintegrated. The proximity of the blast caused the remaining energy to rebound. Though the Ra Tilt was not supposed to affect him physically, being that close to the shockwave sent him flying. He cried out as he hit the tiled floor, breaking several tiles with his impact.

 

He lay there, unable to move, and heard Xellos cry out his name. He felt the former priest touch his back lightly. He only realized that they had been joined by their friends when Lina spoke.

 

“What happened?” she asked.

 

Zelgadis didn’t resist as Xellos pulled him into his arms, too weak to fight it. His neck throbbed and his chest burned from the spell’s rebound.

 

“A lower Mazoku attacked,” Xellos answered her. “Zelgadis-san dispatched it with Ra Tilt, but got caught in his own spell.”

 

“That's not good,” said Amelia, who bent down on the floor with them. “Zelgadis-san may have injured his spirit.”

 

“Mostly just superficial, I think,” Zel told her weakly. His eyes were unfocused, and she was just blur. Moving was still painful. “Ow.”

 

He felt Xellos’ arms tighten around him. “Zelgadis-san…”

 

“I'll be okay,” Zelgadis answered, too tired to ponder the worry in Xellos’ voice right then. “Give me a minute.”

 

Amelia cast Recovery anyway and he felt marginally better for it. His vision cleared a bit, revealing the worried princess, as well as Lina and Gourry, peering down at him.

 

Lina cleared her throat. “Let's get you two dressed and in bed.”

 

Then Zel remembered that neither he nor Xellos were wearing anything but towels. He didn’t have the strength to be embarrassed about it. He tried to stand and failed. “Give me a minute,” he murmured again.

 

Gourry was there suddenly, pulling him up. Xellos moved to his other side, helping the blond keep him on his feet.

 

The girls gave them some privacy as Xellos and Gourry worked to get him to the changing room and dressed in a pair of pajamas provided by the inn. He tried to help them as much as he could, but his limbs moved sluggishly.

 

The two men managed to drag him upstairs, helping him into bed, where Zelgadis was all too thankful to curl up.

 

“You need anything, Zel?” Gourry asked.

 

Zelgadis struggled against his pain and exhaustion to reply. “Someone needs to keep watch. Don’t know if I got it. They might try again...” He trailed off, too tired to continue, hoping they would understand.

 

He heard Xellos’ gentle voice very close by. “Shh, it's alright. The servant was destroyed. Rest.”

 

A comforting warmth enveloped him and Zelgadis drifted easily into slumber.

 

-

 

Xellos sighed as he watched the young man pass out. It was probably overdue, considering what the chimera had unintentionally done to himself. Only Zelgadis’ force of will had kept him conscious this long.

 

“He's right, though,” Gourry whispered, his tone uncharacteristically grave. “He won't be able to fight if they try again tonight.”

 

“I’m aware.” Xellos didn’t his eyes off the sleeping youth. “We'll have to make do. Gourry-san, stay with the ladies tonight. I will stay with Zelgadis-san.”

 

The decision was made quickly and without thought. Just like the kiss earlier, Xellos reminded himself chidingly.

 

Gourry frowned. “Are you recovered enough, though?”

 

Xellos threw a slight smile his way. “I've recovered sufficiently enough to use offensive spells. You'll be right next door if they try it again. Just break down the wall.” The suggestion was casual, but it would be amusing if the blond actually did so – though less so if there actually was danger in the night.

 

Gourry glanced at Zel before smiling a little in return. “Okay.”

 

“We will see you in the morning then,” Xellos said, dismissing him as politely as possible.

 

Gourry took the hint and nodded, grabbing his sword before leaving.

 

Without the blond’s distracting presence, Xellos was left alone with the object of what had once been an ignorable affection. Now everything was different.

 

No longer did he have a Mazoku’s ability to compartmentalize his emotions; for the race of evil did have emotions, despite what humans and Ryuzoku believed. No longer was he able to simply set aside what he felt for these humans and focus on his duty. He no longer _had_ a duty to speak of – and oh did that burn, the yearning for something more intolerable.

 

He could have lived forever and never known this emotional and spiritual freedom, even as his body was imprisoned in this shell. In losing one thing, he had gained another—a human’s capacity for free will. He could think for himself, choose his own destiny, see the hypocrisy in the Mazoku race and would even be able to speak of it to others.

 

The yearning he felt was to _keep_ these distracting sensations, which would be the paramount of stupidity even without considering that he was slowly losing control of his inhibitions.

 

The kiss earlier was only the tip of it, Xellos knew. He could feel his once unshakable resolve dissolving like salt in hot water. Soon, he would not be able to hold back at all, and Xellos knew that this would only damage his relationship with the chimera. Zelgadis, even if he could feel that way for him, was stronger and would be able to resist.

 

Every time he looked at the young man, he felt a strange stirring in his chest; his heart fluttered, his hands and other more embarrassing places started to sweat, and he felt strangely flighty. He wanted to grab Zelgadis and give him all the things the chimera was denying himself.

 

He _wanted_. For the first time in his long life, Xellos wanted, for himself, with a searing force that threatened to consume him. He could feel it slowly driving him mad, and it had only been a _day_. A single day of humanity, and he was losing himself.

 

But he couldn’t just leave the source of this conflict alone – not now.

 

Zelgadis had always been of an interest to him. So much so that he had feigned disinterest, necessity forcing him to focus on Lina regardless. But while Lina was indeed a very interesting human, he did not find her exotic and captivating like Zelgadis.

 

His heart was pure and enduring, and he was as beautiful outside as he was on the inside. Xellos had always known that the young man was his nearly perfect match in every way – perhaps in a peculiarly dysfunctional way – but now he _felt_ it.

 

Sighing deeply, Xellos lay down beside the sleeping chimera and curled and arm protectively around him. The terror he had felt as Zelgadis – distracted by him no less – had been attacked by that servant, still gripped him.

 

“Foolish boy,” he hissed softly. “You seriously could have been wounded…”  

 

Zelgadis shivered and curled tighter around himself, as though he’d heard him.

 

Xellos rubbed his back, soothing him back into a deep sleep, and continued to watch him until the early hours of the morning, lost in his thoughts.

 

He didn’t remember falling asleep, but was woken some time before dawn when the shaman moved.

 

“Zelgadis-san?” he asked, realizing he had fallen asleep holding him, which sent a sleepy thrill through him.

 

Zelgadis’ voice was soft and hoarse as he answered. “Xellos?”

 

A wide yawn escaped him. “You should be resting...”

 

It was a long moment before Zelgadis spoke again. He seemed almost confused. “Thirsty.”

 

“I’ll get you some water,” Xellos whispered immediately and sat up. He poured water into a glass from the pitcher nearby before holding it to Zelgadis’ lips.

 

He sipped at it slowly, seeming to know better than to swallow a lot at once after being strangled.

 

Xellos lightly brushed Zelgadis’ hair out of his eyes. The thin wire locks felt like guitar strings.

 

“Were you injured?” Zelgadis whispered, not seeming to notice or care about the touch.

 

Xellos smiled. “I swallowed some water. Nothing serious.”

 

Zelgadis nodded and closed his eyes. “I shouldn't have cast Ra-Tilt at such close range. Didn't think that would happen.”

 

“Neither did I,” Xellos confessed, sitting the cup aside and lying back down beside him. “I was worried,” he added softly.

 

Zelgadis was already falling back to sleep. “My own fault. I'll be okay.”

 

“Yes, dear.” Xellos kissed his forehead lightly, unable to resist.

 

“Don’t call me that,” Zelgadis grumbled, relaxing.

 

Xellos giggled softly. “Yes, dear.”

 

He wasn’t sure whether Zelgadis heard it the second time or not. The shaman began to snore quietly. He placed a barrier around them and allowed himself to doze for the remainder of the morning.

 

TBC. Please review.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New note - We don't really acknowledge the one-sided Rezo/Zelgadis, but the characters certainly allude to it. I apologize if the hinted incest bothers anyone but I didn't feel it was there enough to actually put a warning on.


	5. Reconnaissance! But Liquor is Quicker

-

 

5\. Reconnaissance! But Liquor is Quicker

 

-

 

When he woke the next morning, Zelgadis didn’t remember much of the night before. He recalled the attack in the baths, but after the rebound of the Ra-Tilt his memory was a little foggy at best. So he was very surprised when he woke up to find Xellos embracing him.

 

He reacted instinctively, blushing and pulling away from the soft frame pressed against him. He winced as his sore muscles protested the abrupt movement, sharp pain preventing him from moving far.

 

“Careful,” came a sleepy warning from beside him, voice slightly slurred. “The barrier is still up.”

 

Xellos yawned and stretched languidly above the covers. Zelgadis was annoyed – and troubled – to discover that even just waking up, his eyes a little puffy from a lack of proper rest and his hair sticking up in odd angles, Xellos was still very attractive.

 

“How are you feeling?” Xellos asked him.

 

“Better than I did,” Zelgadis answered, still blushing. “Still hurts a bit, though. It'd be worse if Amelia hadn't cast Recovery, though.”

 

He was able to focus on things better, and looked away from the distracting former priest to the room they were sharing. It was small and comfy with only a single bed, which was one reason why they were sharing one now – though Zelgadis was suspicious about that; even if there had been a second bed, would Xellos have used it? His behavior of late made Zel doubtful and uneasy.

 

Xellos sat up, resting back against a pillow. “I can cast it again if you need it.”

 

He yawned again, widely, and Zelgadis noticed that, one again, it seemed that Xellos had gotten very little sleep. The idea that Xellos had lost sleep for _him_ was both frustrating and touching, though he couldn’t begin to guess why the former priest would care. He chose to focus on his frustration.

 

“I’ll take care of it,” Zel said, looking him in the eye. “You didn't stay up all night, did you?”

 

His smile was awkward and his face turned an attractive red shade again. “You've done so much for me the past few days. It was time I started returning the favor.”

 

Zelgadis resisted pointing out that it was he who owed a debt, not Xellos. “You didn't need to. You're still recovering. Get some rest. I'll stay up.”

 

“I wanted to,” Xellos protested softly.

 

“You…” Flushed, Zelgadis glanced at him uncertainly. Xellos looked sincere. “Thanks.”

 

He smiled. “None needed.” He said it as if this kind of self-sacrifice were the most natural thing in the world to him.

 

Zel looked away quickly again. “Still. Get some sleep. You're going to need it.” It would likely be another long day and the last thing they needed was Xellos nearly collapsing again.

 

“You should rest too,” Xellos pointed out with a strange fondness.

 

“I'm more used to this than you are,” Zelgadis answered gruffly, uncomfortable with the concern. “Take the rest while you can get it.”

 

Though he wasn’t fast, Zelgadis felt almost hypnotized and could only back up against the wall as Xellos surprised him by drawing closer. He leaned in and kissed his cheek lightly for a second time.

 

“You’re sweet,” Xellos murmured, his smile soft and strangely tender.

 

Zel gaped at him until he could speak again. “Quit that.” His protesting sounded weak at best, and the breathless quality of his own voice made him blush more.

 

The man pouted, and Zel cursed mentally. No grown man had a right to look that adorable.

 

Xellos surprised him again. “I couldn't do it before, but I wanted to,” he whispered.

 

“What?” Zelgadis asked in a small, cracking voice.

 

Xellos smiled then, almost sadly, and there was a heavy regret in his tone. “I've wanted to kiss you for a long time, Zelgadis-san.”

 

Zelgadis, frozen on the spot, stared into those expressive purple eyes as he tried to process his words. His mind seemed as frozen as his body. This couldn’t possibly be happening; he had to be dreaming still…

 

“I wasn’t able to,” Xellos continued. “I shouldn't now, but... These impulses are harder to resist in this form.”

 

“Me?” Zel squeaked, still shocked. “But I’m…” _Just Zelgadis_. Cursed, ugly. He wasn’t special, he was just a freak. This kind of thing wasn’t meant for him. People didn’t suddenly _feel that_ _way_ about him; especially not the people that he _might feel that_ _way_ for. Not after…

 

“You’re you,” Xellos said simply. “So strong, yet fragile in many ways. Clever and intelligent. Moody, cynical, yet not without optimism. Honorable, determined, stubborn... So conflicted. So beautiful.”

 

Zelgadis swallowed thickly, emotions welling up inside and threatening to overwhelm him. It was too much. Xellos was opening himself up in a way he probably never had with anyone before, and Zel’s body was doing so instinctively in return, craving the closeness.

 

“Xellos,” he whispered hoarsely. “I can’t…” He couldn’t find the words to explain himself.

 

Xellos touched his cheek lightly. “Can’t?”

 

The chimera flinched at the kind touch and looked away, taking a few deep breaths to keep from hyperventilating. “I can't let myself feel like that for you or anyone else. Not after...” He shook his head – he couldn’t say it. “I just can't.”

 

He didn’t need to, it seemed, because the next thing Xellos said was startlingly perceptive: “I’m not Rezo-san.”

 

Zelgadis looked up quickly, knowing that his surprise and pain showed visibly. He hadn’t realized that anyone knew about that, especially Xellos. It was something he had hidden deep within himself, the real reason Rezo’s betrayal had hurt so badly.

 

Xellos’ smile was definitely sad. “No one told me. I figured it out on my own.”

 

Not that it would have mattered too much if someone had. “I just can’t,” Zel told him softly. “I’m sorry.”

 

Zelgadis watched as Xellos lowered his hand and placed it over his own chest. Though it hadn’t been intentional, he realized too late that his rejection would hurt Xellos.

 

“I don’t give up easily,” the former priest said softly.

 

Sighing, Zelgadis looked away again. “Xellos, my touch would hurt you anyway. You're human, more fragile physically than me now.” The former priest couldn’t know how he wanted to take that fragile, soft body into his arms anyway, to take what was being offered.

 

“Some enjoy a little physical pain,” Xellos murmured, still looking hurt.

 

He wasn’t _crying_ or even looking like he might; it was a quiet sadness, as if he were burying the true depth of his feelings inside. Mainly, Zel could see it in his eyes. They had seemed dead before, but were now filled with emotion, as expressive as any human’s.

 

“Please, just don’t,” Zel pleaded softly, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t see Xellos’.

 

Xellos may be in pain, and he did feel sorry for that, but the man couldn’t even begin to realize how hard this was for him. He just _couldn’t_ give his heart like that to someone again, and he knew he wouldn’t be capable of something casual and temporary like a one-night stand. Besides, it was better that Xellos be in pain now than to hurt him physically later, he reasoned.

 

And soon Xellos wouldn’t even be human anymore – which made giving in even more foolish.

 

“You don’t know for certain you would,” Xellos pressed. “You just assume.”

 

Zelgadis shook his head and shivered lightly at the breathy coaxing tone in his voice. Then Xellos was touching him again, pressing close, and Zelgadis jerked back abruptly with a curse. His hair got stuck in the wall behind him.

 

Xellos’ lips twitched in amusement and he reached behind the chimera, tugging his hair loose with minimal effort. “Have more care,” he cautioned gently.

 

He opened his eyes and looked at him warily, their faces too close. “Xellos…” He wanted to push the other man away, but using his full strength would hurt Xellos. Even cornered like this, he didn’t want to hurt him physically.

 

“Please, Zelgadis,” Xellos whispered, exhaling warm air against Zel’s lips. “Let me…”

 

Zelgadis shivered hard, though he was not cold. “What about what I want?”

 

“What _do_ you want?” Xellos asked softy, reasonably.

 

This surprised him – no one had ever asked him what he wanted. Zelgadis was used to the things he wanted being pushed aside for what other people deemed more important. He looked into Xellos’ eyes, then away again quickly, not sure how to answer.

 

Xellos was still sitting close to him, taking hold of his hand. “Please.”

 

Zelgadis closed his eyes. “I don’t know,” he managed to say finally.

 

“Perhaps I can help you figure that out,” Xellos suggested gently. “Even if it isn’t me.”

 

“I can’t…”

 

Why couldn’t Xellos just drop it? Why did he have to be so fucking _understanding_ about all of it? He _didn’t_ understand. This was only hurting both of them, so they should stop and pretend it had never happened.

 

But when Xellos’ arms circled around him, pulling him into a gentle hug, Zelgadis didn’t resist. He shook lightly and clutched at the sides of Xellos’ pajama shirt, needing the physical anchor to keep him from spinning off, lost in the turmoil of his own mind.

 

“Why are you doing this?” Zelgadis asked, leaning his head on Xellos’ shoulder, taking the support – if only for a moment. The light feel of his soft, warm body was wonderful and Zel knew he had to stop soon, or else he wouldn’t be able to.

 

“Because I care for you,” Xellos whispered into his ear. “You are so very dear to me.”

 

A tremor ran through him at how heartfelt the words seemed, how much he needed them. But he couldn’t tell Xellos that.

 

“I thought Rezo did, too... But he didn't, not if he could do this to me.” Zel swallowed hard just remembering that time and how utterly destroyed his heart had been. “I helped Lina bring him back, and he didn't even apologize. Just treated me like a servant. I was never a grandson to him, just a tool.”

 

He couldn’t open his heart to that kind of betrayal again.

 

The arms around him tightened further. “Rezo was a fool!” Xellos hissed with a rare anger in his voice. “He let the power control and warp him. He could not see what a precious gift he had...”

 

“That doesn’t make it hurt less,” Zelgadis told him, swallowing hard. He wanted to believe, but…

 

“I know... But I am not him.”

 

Zel gripped his body a bit tighter, careful not to use too much pressure. He could imagine all too easily breaking bones and squashing organs in Xellos’ fragile body. The very idea filled him with a very different kind of terror, one he was familiar with. He had always kept a distance between himself and others unless the situation was dire, knowing how easily his strength could get away from him. It had taken him a long time to learn just how much pressure to use on a regular human’s body.

 

He sighed and focused on Xellos’ last remark. “I know that, but I just don't know if I can...”

 

Xellos did not reply. He kept holding him, and Zelgadis began to relax against him, taking the offered comfort. He allowed himself to hold the former priest if only for a small moment; he knew this wasn’t real—it was just too good to be true. Good things didn’t happen to him. He would be lucky to live a life in which he was marginally content. Happiness wasn’t meant for him.

 

Even if Xellos’ words were true, Zelgadis couldn’t give into this. It would only end in tragedy, he was certain of it.

 

But for one peaceful moment, he could take comfort in his embrace…

 

… Until the moment was shattered by yelling next door. Lina cast Flare Arrow, immediately followed by a Fireball, and the wall connecting their rooms collapsed. Gourry, her target, came crashing through.

 

“Pervert!” Lina yelled.

 

“Ow…” The blond sat up slowly, obviously sore. He didn’t look seriously injured, fortunately.

 

Zelgadis pushed Xellos away gently, still not wanting to hurt him, and was thankful when the former priest put some distance between them.

 

“Are you alright, Gourry-san?” Xellos asked politely.

 

“Eh, I think so,” said the swordsman, rubbing his head. “Is Zel better?”

 

“Much.” Xellos left the bed and went to Gourry’s side, showing faint concern as he helped him stand and dusted off the rubble. “Of course, now Amelia-san will end up paying for damages.”

 

Zelgadis heard Amelia groan from the other room. “Daddy's not going to be happy with me.”

 

Lina poked her head through the hole. “Oi, you sure you're okay, Zel? You look flushed.”

 

He shrugged, and the question only made him flush deeper. He still hadn’t recovered from the recent contact with Xellos, something he didn’t want her to know about. “I’ll be fine.”

 

“And you, Xellos-san?” Amelia asked.

 

Xellos smiled his usual smile, as though nothing had just happened. “A little tired but fit enough for travel.”

 

Lina studied them both critically, and Zel was almost afraid she’d figure out what they’d been doing a moment ago. “Well, you'd better be! We've gotta start looking for that temple!”

 

Xellos giggled softly. “Of course. Now, we should all start getting dressed, and probably not in the same room...”

 

“Ack! There’s a hole in the wall!”

 

“And who was the one that put it there?” Zelgadis asked pointedly, grouchy.

 

Gourry held a spare blanket over the hole to offer them and the girls some privacy as they got dressed. Zelgadis tried to ignore the feeling of Xellos watching him and changed quickly.

 

“Lina, just let us know when you’re ready,” Zel said, strapping on his belt, then pulling on his boots and gloves.

 

Lina squeaked. “Er, in a minute!”

 

Inside the other room with her, Amelia giggled.

 

Zelgadis, remembering his conversation with Xellos the day before, blushed. He was also strangely irritated, but he wasn’t sure why. “Sure. Whenever you're not busy.”

 

Lina, of course, overreacted to his comment. She pushed her way through, fully dressed and flushed. “And what's that supposed to mean?”

 

She seemed overly defensive about whatever had been going on in the other room. Zelgadis couldn’t resist the urge to tease her further. It was a rare treat to have anything to truly tease Lina about. Xellos, naturally, joined in, and Lina was quite flustered by the time they finally made it downstairs to breakfast.

 

He supposed that teasing Lina got both their minds off of their earlier conversation, if only briefly. In a way, it was cathartic. Though as Xellos sat next to him at the table, Zelgadis could tell it still weighed heavily on the former priest’s mind. Zelgadis ignored his occasional glances and focused on eating.

 

As usual, Lina’s mood improved considerably once she was stuffing her face with food. Amelia seemed unusually shy and pensive beside her, which cemented the idea in Zel’s mind. Something had obviously gone on between the girls that morning, and it worried him a bit. He was tempted to talk to Lina about it, but he doubted she’d listen, and he didn’t want to end up on the wrong end of a Fireball.

 

“Did you sleep well, Zelgadis-san, Xellos-san?” Amelia asked.

 

“Pretty well,” Zel answered neutrally as Xellos nodded. “I needed it.”

 

“Do you need anything else?” the former Mazoku asked in a definite flirtatious manner.

 

The comment rankled Zel, just when he was starting to feel better about the whole thing. “I’m fine.”

 

“Yare yare.” Xellos seemed unbothered, which made Zelgadis’ mood darken considerably.

 

“Now who's the grumpy one?” Lina asked, amused.

 

“Leave it alone, Lina,” he growled.

 

“It's my fault, I suppose,” Xellos said musingly, sipping his tea.

 

“Why's it your fault, Xellos?” Gourry asked, looking up from his breakfast, confusion written plainly on his features.

 

“Ah, well…” Xellos held his finger up in his signature pose.

 

Lina growled. “Don’t make me deck you.”

 

Xellos giggled. “Joke, Lina-san.”

 

Zelgadis ignored them and focused on his food, letting himself calm down. The coffee helped greatly in that regard. Xellos really couldn’t help who he was, he reminded himself, and he _had_ warned Zel that he wouldn’t give up. He realized getting upset over a little flirting wouldn’t help either of them. He just didn’t want Xellos to do it in public; it made people curious, as Lina was.

 

“Well,” said the sorceress after a few more bites of food, glaring, “I guess harassing Zel about it will be one way to get back at him.”

 

“Feel free to try,” Zelgadis said casually. “I don't mind frustrating you even more.”

 

Lina stood. “Why you—” Abruptly, the redhead was cut off as Amelia shoved a forkful of food in her mouth. It wasn’t enough to choke her, but as Lina chewed she glared at Amelia slightly.

 

Zelgadis blinked at the oddness. It added to his suspicions. “That seems to have calmed her down,” he noted mildly.

 

“You've got her well trained, Amelia-san,” Xellos said to the princess conspiratorially, eyes alight with a familiar mischief. “That's the sign of a strong relationship.”

 

Zelgadis choked on his coffee at the same time as Lina choked on her food. Amelia blushed brightly and she averted her eyes, unable to look at any of them.

 

“Are you not good friends?” Xellos asked, all innocence.

 

Gourry nodded, not understanding. “They're really good friends!”

 

Xellos giggled behind his hand. Zelgadis watched the purple haired man shake with repressed amusement, and a strange feeling came over him – he wanted to make Xellos laugh harder.

 

“And Amelia thinks you've turned good,” he whispered, too soft for the others to hear.

 

This had the desired effect. Already amused, Xellos fell out of his chair, laughing so hard that when he finally stopped he was gasping for breath. It was a bit extreme, but he supposed Xellos needed the laugh after the events of the past few days. Zelgadis shook his head tolerantly, amused.

 

When Xellos had calmed down again and they had all finished eating, they talked about what their next step should be. Lina had found a map of the local area, but it did not show where the shrines were. They decided to separate and ask the townspeople what they knew. Zelgadis went with Gourry and Xellos.

 

Later, he would almost wish he’d gone with the ladies.

 

-

 

“Where should we start asking questions?” Gourry asked as they walked down the busy main street. People milled about, shopping or merely enjoying the late morning air, and the three men wove a path between them.

 

Xellos looked around with a thoughtful expression, absently curling his hair behind his ear. Zelgadis found the motion particularly distracting, remembering the feel of that hair in his hands. “Ah, there,” said the former priest, pointing ahead to a tavern.

 

Without waiting for them to agree, Xellos took off in that direction and went inside. Once inside, Xellos sat down beside two elderly men who were arguing, though it mostly seemed to be over events long past. Gourry followed him and struck up a conversation with the bartender.

 

Zelgadis found a spot in the shadows and stayed there, being as unobtrusive as possible. The bar was darkly lit and that made hiding himself easy, though there were quite a few people inside. He watched as Xellos subtly bribed the men with fresh drinks while probing them for information. This far away he could not hear what was said, but he was better able to appreciate the former priest’s mannerisms this way. With a casual wave of his hand and a smile, he got the two men to trust him visibly. It seemed quite effortless to him, and he couldn’t help but envy him a bit. Zel wondered how many times Xellos had been able to find out things this way.

 

He gave no thought to Xellos taking a drink for himself, as it was only one and he drank slowly. Once the glass was empty, Xellos bid the men farewell and stood. He walked a few steps toward where Zelgadis stood before he teetered, bumping clumsily into a voluptuous young woman.

 

He gave a breathy giggle, close enough now for Zel to hear him. “Oh, do excuse me.”

 

The woman smiled. “No apology necessary, cutie.” She grabbed Xellos’ arm as though to help him, but Zelgadis saw that she was actually tugging him back toward the bar. “How would you like to sit with me?”

 

Zelgadis frowned, a bit concerned, but he had know doubt that Xellos knew what he was doing. Surely he had only feigned clumsiness and knocked into the girl for a reason.

 

Xellos tilted his head and smiled wider, disarmingly. “Yare yare. I couldn't possibly.”

 

The woman pouted cutely, though Zel couldn’t help but compare it to Xellos’ and find it lacking. “Aw, why not?”

 

Xellos pointed where Zelgadis stood without warning. “See, my husband is over there!” he said with great excitement.

 

Zelgadis froze in shock, unable to react.

 

Hearing this, Gourry glanced his way. “When'd that happen?” he said as he headed over.

 

“I don't remember ever agreeing to something like that,” Zelgadis wheezed weakly, not sure where he found his voice to speak at all.

 

Then Xellos pointed at Gourry. “And that one's my big brother!”

 

“Aw, well maybe he would like to drink with me,” the woman suggested.

 

“He's married to the evil Lina Inverse!”

 

She pouted more and gave up. “All the good ones really are married...”

 

“Oh, but I'm not good,” Xellos confided, unreasonably happy. “I'm evil too.”

 

“But I'm not married to Lina!” Gourry whispered to Zel weakly, glancing around furtively as though he feared the sorceress would appear at any moment, ready to dole out her usual punishment when someone had been gossiping about her.

 

The chimera palmed his face as he realized what was happening. “Just how much did he have to drink?” he asked, thinking he had perhaps not been paying close enough attention after all.

 

“Just one glass!” Gourry confirmed. “His stamina must be _really_ low...”

 

Zelgadis sighed. “Well, it never affected him before. He has absolutely no tolerance now. We'd better get him out of here.”

 

Gourry nodded and walked over to Xellos, taking him from the woman. “C'mon, Xellos. We gotta go.”

 

With an all too blissful grin, Xellos clung to Gourry’s arm. “Okay Nii-san!”

 

“Let's get him back to the inn before he causes more trouble,” Zelgadis grumbled, leading the way. Who could have guessed that, as a human, Xellos would be a happy drunk? Though it would have been even more uncharacteristic if Xellos brooded instead, he realized. Zel still had thought he could hold his liquor better than this.

 

“Yeah, no kidding,” Gourry said, just before Xellos took off after a stray kitten. He was forced to carry the former priest the rest of the way to keep him from running off anymore.

 

“At least it'll be out of his system soon, since it was only one,” Zel noted, feeling his irritation rise. “No more alcohol for you, Xellos.”

 

Xellos pouted adorably from where he was slung over Gourry’s shoulder like a potato sack. “Aw, no fair, Zel-chan! It was only a little, little, _little_ bit.” He held his arms wide apart, emphasizing the opposite.

 

“And that's the point. You have no tolerance at all.”

 

Xellos turned the pout on Gourry, who couldn’t see it. “Zel-chan's mean, Nii-san. He doesn't love me anymore!”

 

Gourry laughed tolerantly at the cute act. “He just doesn't like you making a fool of yourself, Xellos. C'mon, we'll sober you up.”

 

Zel rubbed his head, scowling at Xellos’ words. He didn’t think he could wait for Xellos to ‘sober up’ if he kept flirting inanely like that. “Maybe casting Dicleary on him would work. I mean, alcohol is technically a poison...”

 

“Let's get him upstairs first.” Gourry carried Xellos into the inn and led the way up to their rooms. “If this is him drunk, imagine him with a hangover.”

 

“He's earned one,” Zel muttered darkly, only partly meaning it.

 

“What's a han'over?” Xellos slurred, still with a silly grin on his face.

 

“A bad headache, kind of like the one I have right now.”

 

“Aw, poor Zel-chan. I'll fix!” He tried to reach for Zel, but he could not break from Gourry’s firm hold.

 

“You've done quite enough!” Zel scowled, moving back instinctively anyway.

 

Gourry laughed fondly, not at all irritated, and set Xellos down on the bed in their room. “Hold still, Xellos,” he instructed before turning back to Zel. “You know Lina'll be irritated that she didn't get to see him like this.”

 

“Sucks to be her.” Zelgadis put his palm to Xellos’ head without warning, eager to get the former Mazoku back to normal. He only prayed it would work. “Dicleary!”

 

The results were immediate. Xellos lost his stupidly cheerful expression and his pallor turned faintly greenish. He pushed passed Gourry and Zel and rushed to the bathroom where he was loudly sick, losing his breakfast.

 

Zelgadis felt concerned, but only slightly. Moreover, he was relieved that the cute act was over and satisfied that the spell had worked. “Learn a lesson, Xellos?” he asked, not bothering to hide his smugness.

 

A low, pained groan was the only answer he got. Zelgadis walked over to see him sitting beside the toilet. He seemed to have finished vomiting for the moment but was too weak to do more than sit there.

 

“Zel, should I go find Lina and Amelia?” Gourry asked from behind him.

 

He sighed, leaning against the door jam of the bathroom. “You might as well. It seems like Xellos might be done for the day.”

 

“Okay. The bartender had some interesting stories 'bout the area. I'll take Lina by there to talk to him.”  

 

Zelgadis sighed after Gourry departed. “You're really lucky Lina didn't see that. She'd have had a field day.”  

 

He stooped down and easily helped Xellos up, having a moment of disorientation; just a few days ago, it was the taller man who was the stronger of the two of them. Now Zelgadis was the only one with superhuman strength, far outstripping Xellos’ new limitations. It still disconcerted Zel to see him so helpless.

 

Xellos groaned, no doubt at the noise and movement. Zelgadis had had a few hangovers in the past and knew what he must be feeling. But as he helped the former priest to the bed, a thought occurred to him – it was possible that he had unintentionally made the hangover worse with the Dicleary spell. Pouring Xellos a glass of water, he said as much aloud.

 

Xellos sipped the water and glared at him resentfully. “Is that so?” he managed, his voice raw from the vomiting.

 

The chimera shrugged casually, hiding his sheepishness. “Would you have rather made a fool of yourself and suffered later anyway?” he asked pointedly.

 

The former priest slumped dejectedly. He didn’t answer, but it was obvious he knew Zel was right.

 

Sighing, Zel remembered his earlier irritation and frowned at him. “What the hell were you thinking, anyway? I'm _not_ your husband.” The silliness had almost taken away some of the meaning to Xellos’ confession earlier. How could he possibly take the man seriously if he joked about it in a pub?

 

Xellos flushed, clearly embarrassed. “I do apologize, Zelgadis-san,” he whispered, ducking his head almost demurely. There was regret in his voice. “I meant no offense.”

 

Tiredly, Zelgadis sat down on the bed, not too close. “It's not your fault,” he sighed, his irritation fading. “You might not feel so ill if you'd gotten sleep last night.”

 

Xellos lay down, pressing his face against a pillow. “It's not yours either. Occasional childishness aside, I _am_ an adult.”

 

Zelgadis felt his lips twitch involuntarily. “Not that you've had much practice at it as a Mazoku.”

 

Xellos giggled, then hissed in pain and touched his forehead with a wince. “Ow…”

 

“Get some sleep,” Zel advised gently. “I’ll keep watch.”

 

“Yes,” said the former priest, acquiescing only because he was so tired, Zel assumed. He fell asleep quickly.

 

He watched the man sleep for a time, feeling many different things – both new and old sensations – at the sight of him. The new ones were harder to describe and he didn’t want to look at them too closely yet. Pushing his mind back to the present, Zelgadis left him there, getting up and sitting in a comfortable armchair nearby.

 

TBC.


	6. I Can’t Do This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains one instance that could be interpreted as non-con, but again, I didn't feel it was big enough to warn for. (As you'll see, one character interprets the situation differently than the other.)

-

 

6\. I Can’t Do This

 

-

 

A short while later Lina came barging through the door, none too quietly. “So, what's this I hear about you two being married?”

 

Zelgadis jerked awake in the armchair. He was surprised; he didn’t remember falling asleep. He glanced at the clock, noting that nearly three hours had elapsed since he had last looked, and the sun was getting lower, casting the room in an orange glow. He blinked at Lina finally. “What?”

 

A wicked grin spread across her face. “You and Xellos got hitched and didn't tell us?”

 

From the bed, said former priest mumbled something unintelligible and pulled a pillow over his head.

 

Zelgadis was sympathetic. He could feel another headache coming on himself. “I didn't realize you took drunken rambling seriously, Lina. No wonder you lead us off on wild goose chases so often.”

 

“Oi, all stories can be helpful, even if they're obviously dumb.” The spirited sorceress poked Xellos’ shoulder, snickering as he swatted at her sleepily.

 

“Except that this one is just ridiculous,” Zel told her grumpily. “He probably still has the hangover.”

 

“Nothing ridiculous about being married to you,” he mumbled from the bed.

 

Zelgadis felt his irritation rise again. This really wasn’t the place for this conversation, and if Xellos dared joke about it again, there would be hell to pay. “Aside from the fact that we're _not_ married.”

 

“Well, yes. I should have asked first...”

 

Lina laughed it up. “Oh, boy. He married you in your sleep, Zel!”

 

Zel glared fiercely. They were both asking for it. “Yeah, well according to him, you and Gourry are married as well.”

 

“He _what_?!” Mood immediately changing, Lina rounded on Xellos, ready to deal out pain.

 

Xellos, sensing danger, sat up and raised his hands as though placating a wild animal. Which he was. “Well, in some cultures traveling so long together constitutes a common-law marriage!”

 

She grabbed the front of his shirt and shook him roughly like a rag doll, sending his hair in further disarray. “Stop talking nonsense! Idiot! Die already!”

 

“That is hardly going to help our situation, Lina,” Zelgadis pointed out, wincing internally. Xellos was fragile now, and Lina could hurt him too easily.

 

“But it'd make me feel better!” she complained, glaring.

 

“So would having a nice dinner.”

 

Those were the magic words. Lina dropped Xellos immediately. “Yeah, okay.”

 

He fell back onto the bed with a weak thump and laughed a little. “Iya…”

 

Zelgadis resisted the impulse to roll his eyes. The former priest was still a glutton for punishment when it came to Lina. “Did you find out more information?” he asked, steering the conversation back to important matters.

 

Lina moved with the shift effortlessly. These kinds of antics were per the norm, after all. “Some folk stories about copies of a text left by golden dragons in the area... Enough that's worth checking out, even if they sound silly.”

 

Zel was immediately curious – and suspicious. They’d had far too many strange experiences in their travels for him not to be. “How silly? Not costumes-and-dancing silly again, I hope.”

 

The redhead rubbed one of her elbows self-consciously. “Well…”

 

He glared at her. “Well?”

 

“Kinda…”

 

With a disgusted sigh, Zel vacated the chair for her and sat on the bed, still keeping a small distance between himself and Xellos. “Details?”

 

Lina took the abandoned chair, crossing her legs and leaning back. “Apparently the temple is not only hidden, but booby-trapped. And there's _fake_ ones too.”

 

“Well, that could mean whatever's hidden inside is important,” Zelgadis noted thoughtfully.

 

She nodded in agreement. “Yeah. And there’s lots of tales about dragons. It supports that whatever is in the real temple could be a Claire Bible.”

 

Zelgadis grinned slowly, feeling a flicker of hope. “It'd be nice if we actually found something worthwhile. We just need to find the real temple and get around the traps.”

 

Lina smirked back at him. “Yeah. Do you have any info, Xellos? Since the Claire Bibles are your specialty.”

 

The lump in bed hummed thoughtfully.

 

Zel glanced at him over his shoulder. “Anything you might have heard could be helpful, Xellos.”

 

Xellos sat up slowly, his movements still graceful despite the headache he probably still had. He sat close to the chimera but did not touch him, for which Zel was thankful.

 

“I've actually never been in this area before, but long ago there were rumors that it was indeed the dragons that had dispersed copies of the Claire Bible for protection against Mazoku. Though considering that it's humans who abuse the information written in them, it's considerably ironic.” He shrugged. “So it could be true.”

 

Zelgadis sighed. “Well, that's better than nothing, I guess. When do we start out?”

 

Lina eyed Xellos. “Unless _someone_ is feeling better now, we should probably set out in the morning.”

 

“Saa.” Xellos ran a hand through his hair, combing out the tangles and putting it somewhat into order. He didn’t seem to be in the mood for more walking through the backcountry at the moment.

 

Zelgadis shrugged, feeling the same. “I'm still recovering from the attack last night, myself. I wouldn't mind a little more rest. It’s pretty late anyway.”

 

“Okay then,” Lina accepted. “Though tonight, Gourry's with you guys.”

 

Zelgadis shrugged. “Fine with me. So, dinner?”

 

Lina brightened instantly. “Yeah!” She hopped out of the chair. Zelgadis watched her leave and waited to be sure she was far enough down the hall before turning to Xellos.  “How’s your hangover?”

 

Still finger combing his hair, Xellos smiled a little. “Better. Still hurts a bit.”

 

Zelgadis had expected as much. “Well, just drink a lot of water and don't eat too much.”

 

Xellos nodded. “Yes. Thank you, Zelgadis-san.”

 

Zelgadis rose and headed down after Lina. He heard Xellos’ staff tapping on the floor as he followed down to the inn’s dining area. When they arrived at their group’s table, it was already laden with food. The others had thoughtfully left two seats open right next to each other – making it so that Zel had to sit next to Xellos, which he assumed Lina had engineered for her own amusement. He sat down without complaint to spite her.

 

It wouldn’t do to encourage her. This was exactly what he’d hoped to avoid, the reason he hadn’t wanted her – or anyone else – to find out.

 

Lina spoke between bites. “Nice of you to join us. Not too busy?”

 

“Busy?” Xellos echoed, confused.

 

Zelgadis was amused that _the trickster_ had missed the innuendo. “She's apparently trying to imply we were up to something.”

 

“Oh, like her and Amelia this morning?” Gourry asked, unintentionally quipping.

 

Lina nearly choked on her food again. “What?!”

 

Zelgadis chuckled, feeling as though payback were close at hand. “Oh? What were you up to this morning?”

 

“Nothing!”

 

Gourry frowned. “But, Lina—”

 

Lina recovered quickly, trying to turn the conversation. “And what about you two? Xellos doesn't blush for nothing.”

 

Zelgadis glanced at the former priest and sure enough, Xellos looked bizarrely like he was trying to hide behind his cup of tea and there was a faint blush on his cheeks.

 

Zel shrugged, aiming for nonchalance. “Maybe he does. How would we know?”

 

“Well, he wasn't human before, so maybe he's not used to it,” Amelia noted thoughtfully. She looked just as embarrassed by the conversation as Xellos.

 

“Used to what?” Gourry just had to ask. “Being in love?”

 

Lina became far too interested at that. Up until then Zel thought he could have merely kept going until she was distracted, but with the mention of the L word, the banter was taken to another level. Now, he knew, she’d stick to it like a bloodhound on a scent.

 

“Oh? Is he in love, then?” Her eyes twinkled as she leaned in, her amusement all too obvious.

 

“That's why he wants to marry Zel, isn't it?” Gourry wondered in a thoughtful tone, and Zel resisted the urge to strangle him for unintentionally helping her.

 

“Maybe you should get another room so you and hubby can be alone,” Lina teased with an unrepentant smirk.

 

“That’s not necessary,” Zel said mildly. As long as Xellos continued to say nothing and he acted like it was nothing, there was still some hope of getting her to drop it.

 

“Oh?” she pressed. “You don't mind an audience? I doubt Gourry would mind.”

 

Zelgadis smirked, taking the opportunity to alter the focus of the discussion; he had no qualms about throwing back what Lina was dishing out. “You tell me. He was in the room with you and Amelia last night.”

 

Lina sputtered predictably. “What that supposed to mean?!” she demanded, ignoring the placating hand Amelia placed on her arm.

 

“In any case, nothing's going on. I don't know why you're so interested in everyone else's love lives, Lina.”

 

“I'm not _interested_ , I'm just amused!” Lina yelled. “Besides, he would totally tease me! He _has_!”

 

Xellos looked up from his teacup finally, feigning innocence and joining Zel on the offensive. “Oh? That's implying that there really is something going on, Lina-san! I had no idea!”

 

She growled and came after him with her fork, but Amelia held her back by grabbing hold of her slim waist. “Lina-san!”

 

Zelgadis snickered, though inwardly noted how the princess seemed pretty comfortable touching Lina there. He pushed the worry away for now. “So that's why you were so bothered this morning.”

 

“Amelia-san finally confessed to her feelings and you couldn't resist any longer?” Xellos asked cheerfully. He seemed to have perked up slightly.

 

“See,” Gourry said to him. “I told you I wasn't married to Lina.”

 

“Indeed. I apologize, Gourry-san.” He sounded almost like he meant it too. “Don't be so upset, Lina-san. We all have needs.”

 

Lina glared at them hard. “It's none of your business. Go focus on your own love lives, or lack thereof.” She waved at the nearest waiter. “Five of every dessert!”

 

“I have no interest in a love life,” Zelgadis told her, shrugging casually.

 

She was finally losing interest, and if he played his cards right, she’d only tease him a few more times about it before the sorceress dropped it entirely. What he didn’t expect was for Amelia to take up the torch, though in her case it was more serious.

 

She frowned at him in clear disapproval. “Zelgadis-san, it's cruel to lead Xellos-san on like that!”

 

He shrugged again. “I have no control over what he feels – if he feels anything.”

 

Beside him, Xellos stood abruptly, his chair scraping hard on the wooden floor. Zelgadis couldn’t see his face hidden behind his hair. “Do excuse me, everyone,” he murmured, ever polite, and his steps were quick as he went upstairs. A little too quick for someone who still had a headache. Zel stared after him, surprised.

 

Lina was startled as well. “Xellos!” Getting no reply, she turned on Zel, her concern apparent. “What's going on?”

 

Zelgadis shrugged uncomfortably. He had a guess – he might have accidentally hurt Xellos’ feelings again, but hoped he was wrong. “I really couldn't tell you. Excuse me.” He stood and went after the strange new-human.

 

He found him back in their room. Xellos’ back was to him as he stood on the room’s balcony, and one of his gloved hands was tangled in his hair in a grip that looked painful. From this angle, most of his face was still hidden, but Zel saw his lips were twisted in an agonized grimace of a smile.

 

Zelgadis crept closer to the open balcony doors. “Xellos…”

 

Xellos jerked visibly at the sound of his voice and moved further away, perching on the edge of the balcony rail and facing the setting sun so that Zel could not see his face at all. “Yes?”

 

“I’m sorry,” Zel said softly, feeling lame again. “I told you this morning…”

 

“I know,” was the other’s reply. There was no inflection in his tone and Zel couldn’t tell what he was feeling.

 

He hesitated before coming out onto the balcony, keeping a distance between them. “We're searching for a cure for you, anyway. Even if I could... I'd rather not start something that won't end well.”

 

No matter how much he craved it. A part of him wanted to give in, damn the consequences, but the more rational part of him was knew better than to risk what little sanity he had left.

 

“I almost hope we find nothing...”

 

Zelgadis stared at him. How could Xellos just give up? Him, of all people! Had humanity stripped him entirely of his ego? “That'd be a death sentence.”

 

Xellos exhaled, laughing softly. “Yes. But as much as I do hate this body, being trapped in one plane, being so small and cramped... It gives me a freedom I could not have before. Free will.” There was a short pause before he added one word, said in a softer, pained voice full of regret. “Joy.”

 

Zelgadis felt his heart constrict as an earlier suspicion was confirmed – Xellos hadn’t been entirely happy as a Mazoku, if at all. “Survival first, Xellos.”

 

“I know that. It doesn't stop me from hoping that instead of a cure, there is something we can use to fight them.”

 

So he wasn’t giving up. But what he was hoping for was unlikely. “Lina actually got a look at the real Claire Bible, and the best it could give her was Ragna Blade. A cure is your best bet.”

 

“Since it was the Water Dragon Lord's remaining presence, it probably gave her what it wanted to, not all that it could.”

 

Zelgadis sighed. He supposed that was reasonable, but… “I hope your search goes better than mine has. There's no way we'll be able to take on the remaining lords right now.”

 

Xellos looked away from the sunset, down at his hands, which were twisting a little in his lap. He frowned and seemed to force them to stop. “Yes. I don't like putting all of you in such danger.”

 

Zelgadis shrugged and readopted his casual tone in hopes of assuring him. “It's not as though we're not used to danger by now.”

 

“That's beside the point, Zelgadis-san.”

 

He sighed at the quiet frustration in Xellos’ voice and went back inside, taking up his seat in the armchair again. “There's nothing we can do about it right now, Xellos. In any case, you're not the cause of the danger. Dynast probably would've killed us either way. He just went deeper and found out that Zelas was behind it, and so decided to get you, too.”

 

“It seems that way,” Xellos said, following him inside.

 

“I've figured for a while that I'd have an unhappy ending. All we can really do is keep fighting.”

 

A silence fell over the room, which should have made the shaman more suspicious but he had lowered his guard. Zelgadis was just beginning to relax when he felt a light touch on his chin. He flinched back but Xellos gently but firmly kept a hold on his face.

 

He stared up at Xellos’ unreadable expression. “Xellos?”

 

As he watched, he saw Xellos blink, breaking into a small smile, sadness thick in his eyes. The taller man leaned in.

 

Zelgadis had never realized how sensitive his lips still were. He could feel the texture of Xellos’ mouth, so soft that it nearly broke his heart. It was sudden, and he was too shocked to move, which didn’t seem to discourage Xellos at all.

 

As soon as he snapped out of his surprise, he tried to gently push him away. It did not have any effect. Xellos resisted and stubbornly kept hold of his chin, preventing him from turning away. The feeling of Xellos’ lips was starting to make him shiver and he tried harder to get him to stop. He pulled on Xellos’ hands which, to his dismay, only brought them closer. Xellos practically fell into his lap.

 

He didn’t want to hurt him, but he realized that he couldn’t dislodge Xellos now without doing so. Zel went still and waited for him to stop. At least, until he felt a tongue lightly brush his bottom lip.

 

He gasped, involuntarily parting his lips, and Xellos forced his tongue inside, deepening the kiss. Zelgadis struggled harder, which only made Xellos more forceful, and his fear rose. Even with all that had gone on, he hadn’t thought Xellos would do this! Desperate, he tried biting Xellos to get him to stop, but it only made the former Mazoku moan.

 

 _Mazoku? More like masochist!_ Zelgadis stood, hoping this would dislodge him. Instead, Xellos found his feet in time, standing fluidly with him and continuing the kiss. Off balance, Zelgadis fell backward onto the floor, pulling Xellos with him. This did nothing to dissuade him.

 

Then Xellos pressed their hips together and thrust, whimpering. Zelgadis couldn’t stop his instinctive reaction to kiss back, passion building with the fear. His shaking increased with that thought, and he couldn’t repress a tiny sound of fearful protest. He could feel Xellos’ hardness rubbing against his own and feared the former priest really wouldn’t stop, and that he wouldn’t be able to suppress his own desire.

 

But thankfully Xellos did, the noise apparently bringing him to his senses. He hovered above Zel, panting softly. “Shh, it’s alright…”

 

Zelgadis continued to tremble, breathing hard as well. He refused to look at him. “Why can't you just take no for an answer?”

 

He felt fingers lightly brush his wire hair. “I do not give up easily.”

 

“I didn't think that translated to forcing yourself on me,” Zelgadis whispered, pained. The betrayal stung. He had trusted Xellos enough to not see this coming.

 

The hand touching him immediately went still and pulled away. There was a long pause before he spoke. “It doesn't. I am sorry. I thought...” Xellos got off of him.

 

Released, Zelgadis lay on the floor for a long while, collecting his scattered thoughts and catching his breath. He tried to will away his arousal, which had stirred at Xellos’ actions despite his fear.

 

Grabbing hold of the bed, he managed to pull himself up into a sitting position. With a start, he realized that Xellos was no longer there. His cloak and staff were both missing with him. The staff was understandable, but Xellos had left his cloak off for dinner.

 

Dimly, Zelgadis remembered catching sight of Xellos’ face before he had got off of him. He had looked utterly shocked and guilt-ridden, as though he couldn’t believe what he’d just done.

 

Zel cursed softly in the darkness – Xellos hadn’t _meant_ to try to hurt him! Of course, it went against all of Xellos’ actions thus far. If the former priest had meant to lull him into a false sense of security, then he wouldn’t have stopped at all, but he _had_.

 

He surged to his feet and, forgetting his cloak and sword, ran out of the inn. Once outside he looked around frantically for Xellos, but did not see him.

 

“Xellos!” he called helplessly into the near-darkness, but received no response.

 

He cast Ray Wing on himself and soared into the air.

 

-

 

Hearing the distant yell, Xellos quickened his running steps, knowing that if he didn’t reach the trees quickly he wouldn’t make it. His minds was jumbled over what he’d nearly done, but he thought clearly enough to realize that he had to get away from Lina and her friends before this got any worse.

 

He was just nearing the treeline when he heard Zelgadis’ voice again from somewhere above him. “Xellos! Stop!”

 

Ignoring him, Xellos darted into the trees. His mind working almost faster than his body, he ran some distance into the trees before he found a sheltered spot and quietly cast Levitation, floating up gently into the treetops to hide.

 

But now that he had stopped, he had time to berate himself.

 

Zelgadis’ accusation had struck him to the core. Never before in his life had Xellos done anything so dishonorable. He rarely killed humans, because they were so good at killing themselves without any help from him. The dragons he had killed were usually done so in battle, and they had been fully prepared to kill him so it was perfectly fair. While his favorite attack was to strike someone from the Astral Plane, this was usually implemented during a fight. It was rarely done unless he was provoked.

 

His pride as a Mazoku – and his personal sense of honor – demanded nothing less. He had always looked down upon certain behavior of other Mazoku as undignified, something he could never allow himself to be. Humans as well, though mostly the wicked ones. Perhaps that was another reason why he liked Lina and her friends so well; they were so refreshingly honest and noble.

 

None of his sexual partners had ever been unwilling, human and Mazoku alike. He had never done anything so disgraceful, and he was sickened by the very idea.

 

To harm the one he cared for with all his soul… Xellos couldn’t believe he’d been reduced to this.

 

He wished, more than ever, that he still had a connection with his master. The Greater Beast would tell him what to do, and as much as he craved free will, at that moment he would gladly obey as long as what she told him made sense. Left to his own devices, his clearest thought was to run away.

 

If he left, Zelgadis would be safe from him. Xellos cared for him enough to do that.

 

Thinking about his master, Xellos realized that his mind had been unclear for some time. He missed his connection to her like a human would miss a limb. He had once been part of something much greater than his mere existence. Now he was tiny in comparison and adrift in these new sensations.

 

Perhaps his feelings were so strong in order to fill the void left by the lost connection…?

 

Zelgadis drew closer to him, disrupting his thoughts. “Xellos? Come on. This is ridiculous. Let's talk about this!”

 

Xellos closed his eyes, knowing that if he saw Zelgadis he would give in. For the youth’s own sake, he had to resist.

 

“Please, Xellos. I'd rather not stay out here all night, but I will if I have to.”

 

He stayed silent. Zelgadis would hopefully get frustrated soon and leave. Even if he didn’t give up the search and merely went to get the others, Xellos would still have time to escape.

 

He heard Zelgadis stop moving around below him and assumed that the chimera was listening for him to make a sound. “I know you can't teleport, and I don't hear you running. So you're stopped somewhere. I can wait for you to make a sound, or you can come out now.”

 

Xellos continued his silent occupation of the tree.

 

He heard Zelgadis shift again below, and by the sound of it, he was sitting down to wait him out as well. “Xellos, I'm not leaving. You'll eventually have to shift positions, or you'll get tired, or something.”

 

His lips twisted into a smile; he should have realized Zelgadis would be stubborn about this. He hated how much he cared for the young man. Zelgadis following him into the unknown night, after what he had done, made Xellos’ feelings deepen even more.

 

Zelgadis went on. “I'm not mad, Xellos.” He paused. “Okay, that's a lie. I'm a little pissed. But not so much that I want you to run off and get yourself killed.”

 

Xellos waited until there was a breeze, which would carry his voice and make it harder for Zelgadis to locate his position. “I'll try again. Just let me go.” He hoped the threat would convince him.

 

Zelgadis only sounded irritated – probably because he couldn’t follow the sound of his voice. “Don't do this to me, Xellos. I freaked out. I'm sorry. I'm not... good with this sort of thing.”

 

Xellos forgot himself and leaned back against the tree he stood upon weakly, realizing too late that the rustle gave his location away. “I don't want to hurt you again.”

 

He heard Zelgadis levitate up to him, landing in front of him on the branch. “Then we'll both be more careful.”

 

Xellos shook his head frantically, his eyes tightly shut. Zelgadis didn’t understand!

 

He felt fingers touch his arm without hesitation. “Come on. Let's get back to the inn.”

 

The former priest tried to pull away from the touch but the tree limb was only so big and he couldn’t go far. “I can't stop and you can't do this,” he pleaded softly. “Just let me go.”

 

“No,” his dear chimera said stubbornly.

 

He clutched his staff to his chest. “Please,” he whispered, weakly.

 

“I’m not going to just abandon you to this,” Zelgadis hissed angrily.

 

He shuddered – Zelgadis couldn’t care about him after what he had done! The youth was probably worried for his safety and that of his friends. “I'll surrender myself and get Dynast to promise not to come after you. He'll have to keep his word. Once I'm gone, Dolphin will lose interest.”

 

“Dammit, Xellos. You know that won't work. He'll just kill us and then kill you anyway!”

 

“I'll make it work.” Zelgadis did not understand a Mazoku’s pride. If he made Dynast promise explicitly, then the Lord would have no choice. Even though it meant sacrificing his life, Xellos would do it willingly. He deserved to be punished for what he had done.

 

The grip on his arm tightened painfully enough to bruise. “Stop being a self-sacrificing idiot! That's what got you into this mess in the first place. If you actually think we'll stand by while you do that, you really are stupid.”

 

“Lina-san won't once she finds out I tried to force you,” he pointed out reasonably. “You shouldn't either.”

 

“I'm not an idiot, Xellos,” Zelgadis said softly after another pause. “I know it wasn't on purpose.”

 

That didn’t make it excusable! “I've never done anything so dishonorable. But I can't stop. Even now, I want to. Please, just let me go, Zelgadis.”

 

Even after what he had done and the disgust he felt at himself, he still wanted to press close to the enticing youth. He wanted to take hold of Zelgadis and protect him from the darkness, to care for him as no one else had.

 

“I won't. I came after you, Xellos,” Zelgadis declared softly, but with meaning in his voice. “Please.”

 

Xellos sighed, understanding what the chimera was saying – at least he thought so. Zelgadis was angry, but he didn’t hate him, and was possibly willing to forgive him. The fight went out of him and he acquiesced at last, realizing that he wouldn’t have really left anyway. The moment Zelgadis had called out his name, the matter had been decided. If Zelgadis forgave him, he might be able to forgive himself in time.

 

He opened his eyes finally, seeing Zelgadis’ relieved smile, his teeth flashing in the moonlight. His eyes and hair reflected the light as well. He was, in that moment, dark, unearthly, beautifully human, and Xellos wanted him so much it was physically and emotionally wrenching.

 

“Come on, then,” Zelgadis urged. “Let’s go back to town.”

 

He nodded and cast Levitation again, taking them gently back down to the ground gently.

 

Without a word, Zelgadis led the way back, but as they approached town the youth stopped. Glancing at him, Xellos could faintly see a panic-stricken expression on his face and realized the problem.

 

“Wait,” he said softly, untying his hooded cloak and wrapping it around the chimera.

 

“Thanks,” Zelgadis said, embarrassed, and pulled the hood over his head.

 

Xellos shook his head. “It's the least I can do.”

 

The youth took a deep, shaky breath. “Xellos... I'm not... adverse. I just...” He paused awkwardly and tried again. “You know, after we fought Rezo, I left Lina and Gourry. I couldn't trust them enough to travel with them, even after all that. Because of Rezo.” He glanced furtively in Xellos’ direction. “It's not easy for me to trust anyone. And this... is a lot bigger than just traveling with someone.”

 

Xellos nodded slowly and decided to match the confession with one of his own. It was only fair. “It was only going to be a kiss, because I didn't want you to give up on a happy ending so easily. Then you began pushing me away and I just reacted instinctively...”

 

“Mazoku instincts?”

 

Xellos shrugged. “I'm not sure,” he answered honestly.

 

Zelgadis sighed. “I'll keep that in mind. I could've pushed you away, but not without hurting you.”

 

Xellos forced himself to look away, not feeling any better about what he’d done. “You shouldn't worry about that.”

 

“I can't help that. I'm a lot stronger than normal humans. I'm used to being careful out of battle.”

 

“You still shouldn't.” Xellos pasted on a smile; he knew what would convince him. “After all, I may be a human now, but I was a Mazoku only a few days ago.”

 

He glanced back and saw Zelgadis shift uncomfortably. “It probably would've taken me a moment to remember you weren't human even then. I thought you were human until Lina told us otherwise. First impressions are hard to shake.”

 

Xellos tilted his head thoughtfully, surprised. “I see…” He had thought it was something Zelgadis kept firmly in mind, all the time. “How extraordinary.”

 

They resumed walking back to the inn. Zelgadis held the back door open for him and Xellos smiled at the gesture before he teetered suddenly, the long day catching up with him. He still hadn’t rested enough earlier.

 

He was surprised, then, when Zelgadis’ strong arm wound itself around his waist and he guided him inside. Happiness fluttered in his chest at the simple contact.

 

Along the way they ran into Lina, who worriedly interrogated about where they had gone. Zelgadis lied smoothly, claiming that had merely been taking a walk. The sorceress didn’t believe that because of Xellos’ state of exhaustion. She hounded them all the way to their room and Xellos quickly got tired of it.

 

“He came after me. I thought it might be safer for you if I left.” He knew Lina wouldn’t let it go until they were honest, and easily ignored Zelgadis’ glare at his admission.

 

Lina glared at him as well. “Don't be stupid. As if we'd let you do that.”

 

“Yeah, I told him that,” Zelgadis complained. “Had to catch him first, though...”

 

Lina sighed. “You're more trouble than you're worth, Xellos.”

 

“I know,” he murmured softly, deciding not to tell her the whole truth, though it was tempting. Lina would likely only punish him, then Zelgadis would stubbornly defend him, and he didn’t feel like dealing with the trouble it would cause.

 

Lina left and, after being handed his pajamas, Xellos hid in the bathroom to change. It was a small room with only a toilet and a sink – no private shower.

 

He listened as Gourry entered and offered the bed to them again. Xellos squeaked at the idea, after what had occurred, and nearly fell over.

 

“I was comfortable in the chair this afternoon, Gourry,” Zelgadis protested. “And you had the floor last night in Lina's room. Take the bed.”

 

But Gourry remained firm. “No, you need your rest, Zel. I insist.”

 

A little frightened and knowing it showed, Xellos exited the bathroom and looked at the blond pleadingly. “Gourry-san, I don't think...”

 

Gourry interrupted with a smile. “It'll be good for you guys.” He blushed. “I mean, not for... Just for being close to each other.”

 

Xellos sighed, far too tired to argue. He lied down, assuming Zelgadis would deal with it. The swordsman was far too intuitive for his own good.

 

But instead Zelgadis looked at him worriedly. “It's only sleeping. It'll be fine.”

 

He felt his face heat up. “Alright,” he agreed weakly. He wasn’t sure he would be able to resist, but perhaps if he remembered the pain he had caused, he could remain firm.

 

Xellos lay back on the bed on the far side and watched as Zelgadis get ready for bed. Gourry reclined in the chair and blew out the candle lighting the room. “G'night, guys.”

 

Zelgadis rested beside him on the bed, turning to face him. “’Night, Gourry.”

 

Xellos flushed in the darkness, watching the chimera. “Good night, Gourry-san.”

 

He knew he would be unable to sleep, but he was relieved when Zelgadis seemed to fall asleep easily beside him, despite what he had done. Xellos watched him, finding sleep for himself hours later.

 

TBC.


	7. Children?! The Curse of the Shrine

-

 

7\. Children?! The Curse of the Shrine

 

-

 

It was another clear, warm day, and the sun beat down on them mercilessly as they left the village to continue their journey. Lina was unrepentantly cheerful for some reason, though Amelia’s step seemed strangely light in the face of the heat as well.

 

“Ah!” said Lina. “Onto the temple!”

 

Zelgadis glanced at her, keeping his suspicions to himself for now. “What lead are we checking out?”

 

Lina pulled out her map, unrolling it. “The closest one is a small village that has a large trade in dyed fabric. In the center of the village is an abandoned shrine to Ceiphied, supposedly.”

 

“Oh, fabric?” Xellos sounded intrigued. “That's interesting! It's a shame we didn't go there first.”

 

He still looked tired; there were light shadows visible under his eyes. Zelgadis resisted the urge to scold him, since he could guess why Xellos hadn’t been able to sleep. He remembered waking up beside him again that morning and, remembering what all had happened the evening before, had done his best to avoid Xellos. The former priest hadn’t tried to get near him either, but Zelgadis knew it was for different reasons; every time he happened to catch Xellos looking at him, there was still a heavy guilt in his eyes.

 

Zelgadis was conflicted. He was angry, of course, but there were other emotions involved that made it hard to be mad at Xellos.

 

Instead, he decided to push it from his mind for now and focus on what they were doing. Finding the Claire Bible and, possibly, a cure.

 

Turning his attention back onto the conversation, he caught onto what they were talking about and frowned. “You have clothes now,” he reminded Xellos.

 

“Yes,” Xellos responded easily, “but since we're going there anyway, I wouldn't say no to a spare outfit.”

 

“I'm not made of money, you know,” Zelgadis grumbled. “Plus none of us really carries spare clothing. We mend it if we need to.”

 

Xellos shrugged. “I could pay for it on my own, somehow.”

 

“I don’t mind,” Amelia offered immediately. “We could all use some extra clothing. I don't want to walk around with a rip in my shirt like before... Zelgadis-san, too.”

 

Xellos beamed. “So it’s settled.”

 

Zel tried to argue but he was casually outvoted. No surprise there. It was frustrating, as he didn’t like going to tailors. If he could avoid it, he did, and just mended the clothes himself.

 

He absolutely didn’t want to undress in public.

 

Suddenly, he felt something brush against his hand and glanced down in time to see it was Xellos’ hand. He flinched away instinctively. A flash of hurt fly across Xellos’ face, and Zel threw him an apologetic look. The understanding smile he got in return just dug the knife deeper.

 

He didn’t know what to do in situations like these. He’d never managed to put Amelia down gently – she’d thankfully gotten over the crush on her own. This was different, Zelgadis knew instinctively. He knew Xellos’ feelings were stronger than that, or perhaps he only hoped so because of his own feelings. Though he was tentative, scared, and cautious, he did care.

 

Amelia’s sharp cry drew his attention again. Zelgadis looked up in time to see Lina – unusually distracted – trip over a bush and land on her face.

 

Something small and dark darted out of the brush so fast that Zelgadis could hardly make out its shape. He pulled out his sword. “Look out!”

 

Lina rolled away and was on her feet again smoothly, looking around. “Where is it?!”

 

Without warning, Amelia fell over as though an invisible force knocked her feet out from under her. She fell into tall grass and weeds amidst the trees off to the side of the dirt road. “Ow!”

 

“Amelia-san!” Xellos rushed over to her, and several small blurs jumped out of the foliage to grab him. The last thing they heard from him was a startled gasp before he disappeared up into the trees.

 

All of this happened quickly. Panic rose into Zel’s throat and he forced his legs to move, running as he cast Levitation. Floating up after Xellos, he found no trace of him left. There weren’t any broken branches or torn bits of his clothing, not one strand of hair. The leaves didn’t even rustle.

 

He gripped onto the nearest tree’s branch to steady himself, nearly breaking the limb with the strength of his hand. He kept the anger in check carefully, but his whole body shook from its force. “Lina! He's gone! Whatever they were, they took him!”

 

“Damn!” he heard the girl in question say. “They weren't Mazoku, that's for sure.”

 

Zelgadis agreed silently. Not only had they not felt like Mazoku, what would be the point in taking Xellos if their tactic was to kill them in front of him?

 

“That's good, right?” Gourry asked.

 

“Not sure, Gourry. Let's go above and look for him, Zel. They can't be faster than a Ray Wing.”

 

The chimera agreed and darted above the trees, making a path through the green canopy. Lina joined him soon after and they flew at some distance apart, looking for any sign of the purple-haired man.

 

“They're fast, Lina,” he told her after a few minutes, his fist clenching. “They were gone before I even got into the branches.”

 

The girl cursed like a sailor. Zelgadis understood the feeling but didn’t give into it. If whatever took Xellos was as fast as a Mazoku, then they would have a hard time catching up.

 

“Lina,” Gourry called from below, “I think we found some tracks!”

 

“Right!” Lina answered, and Zelgadis followed her back down toward the blond man’s voice. “Can you follow?”

 

Gourry was bent over on the ground, studying tiny footprints. There were many of them, and the path they made looked difficult to track. “I think so.”

 

“Then let’s go,” Zel urged.

 

The swordsman led them through the forest quickly, occasionally stopping and studying the tracks. “It looks like they're carrying something heavy,” he told them after a while.

 

“That'd be Xellos,” Lina said grimly. “Damn, why isn't he struggling?”

 

“I hope they didn't hurt him!” Amelia cried worriedly.

 

Zel cursed softly. If anything happened to Xellos, he would make whatever took him pay dearly.

 

“Don't worry, Zel.” Gourry’s blue eyes were strangely intuitive. “We'll find him!”

 

“Yes, he'll be alright,” Amelia said quickly, her expression filled with guilt.

 

“It’s not your fault, Amelia,” Lina told her gently.

 

“If he hadn’t tried to help me…”

 

Zelgadis shook his head. “They were going to take one of us.”

 

“But…”

 

“It’s okay, Amelia,” Lina said. She looked at the younger girl with a strangely soft, vulnerable smile that seemed to do the trick. Amelia smiled back tentatively and they continued onward.

 

Suddenly they broke through a thick grouping of trees into a clearing. There, they saw the creatures that had stealthily eluded them earlier in what appeared to be an impromptu campsite. They were small, human-shaped people with dark skin and were hardly clothed – some were completely naked. There were too many of them to count.

 

In the center was a large pot burning over a fire and, beside it, Xellos. His hands and feet were tied and he was being fed tiny cups of liquid by the little people. At their group’s intrusion on their mealtime, many of them drew up small spears, the tips of which focused on the big people.

 

Xellos saw them and smiled. Other than a little dazed, he seemed unharmed and his usual cheerful self. “Oh! Hello, everyone. I'm surprised you found us so quickly.”

 

Zelgadis was too frozen with shock to speak. It was Gourry who spoke first. “Hi, Xellos! You okay?”

 

“I think so,” said the smiling former priest. “These natives are planning to cook me, I believe...” He seemed amused by the idea. Of course he did. “Or serve me dinner. It's hard to tell.”

 

Zelgadis sighed. He shouldn’t have been surprised by Xellos not taking this seriously. He’d probably been so interested in the pygmies themselves that he hadn’t even thought about escaping, forgetting his human limitations once again.

 

“And how, exactly, were you going to get out of the former situation?” he asked through clenched teeth.

 

Xellos’ smile was sheepish, encouraging Zel’s assumption. “I was going to try to fight, though I believe they've drugged me with something... This tea is very strong.”

 

A growl rose up unbidden in his throat, his anger surging again, though not at Xellos. Zelgadis moved forward, drawing his sword threateningly. “Well, if they've drugged you, it probably means they planned to cook you, doesn't it?”

 

Xellos pouted cutely. “I would have found a way to escape if you had taken any longer. It’s not like I went along willingly.”

 

Lina looked just as angry as Zelgadis felt. “I'm gonna Fireball these little things if they don't start running.”

 

“She's the Dragon Spooker, you know,” Xellos whispered conspiratorially to the pygmies.

 

The little people squeaked as one, repeating, “Dragon Spooker!” as they ran away. The infamous sorceress sent Fireballs in their wake.

 

Zelgadis rushed over to Xellos now that the way was clear. He cut through Xellos’ bonds and put a hand to his forehead. “Dicleary.”

 

Xellos’ eyes closed and he whimpered in pain.

 

“Shit,” Zel cursed, wincing. “I should've had Amelia do it. She's better with White magic.”

 

Xellos’ lips twitched in a tired smile. “You touched me. I don't mind.”

 

Zelgadis looked away, blushing at the comment. “Can you stand?”

 

“I don’t know,” Xellos murmured as he tried to push himself to his feet.

 

Gourry helped him stand and Amelia, still worried, suggested that they Ray Wing the rest of the way. They agreed and Zelgadis found himself carrying the tired Xellos to the next village. The chimera was hard pressed to focus on his task and not on the fragile weight in his arms.

 

He was heavier and solid, but still not too much to carry for Zel. Xellos rested his head on one rock hard shoulder as if it were the most comfortable pillow in the world, smiling sleepily as they flew. Zelgadis tried to assure himself that Xellos was just tired. Even so, it was hard letting him go when they landed. Especially in the face of having almost lost him to hungry little cannibals. But he had to set Xellos down in order to pull his hood and mask over his face.

 

They decided to go straight to an inn instead of seeing the shrine immediately because of Xellos’ condition. The man in question looked embarrassed.

 

“I am fine,” he tried to assure them, smiling weakly. “We can go to the shrine now, if necessary.”

 

Zelgadis shook his head firmly, keeping his hold on Xellos – to steady him, he told himself. “The only place you're going is bed.”

 

Xellos looked up at him through his bangs, but Zel could see his eyes standing this close to him. A light blush spread over his pale features, something that was still very bizarre to see. “Yare yare…”

 

Zelgadis flushed and kept hold of Xellos’ arm as they walked to an inn. He could almost feel Lina’s eyes on them after their exchange but was grateful when she said nothing; he didn’t think he could take her teasing at the moment.

 

Amelia purchased the group two rooms and Zelgadis took Xellos up to theirs to get some rest. He put the former priest straight to bed.

 

“Get some sleep,” he ordered, surprised at the gentleness in his own voice.

 

“As you wish.” Xellos looked at him fully and smiled softly. “I apologize if I worried you.”

 

Zelgadis had to look away, trying to keep ahold of himself. “It’s fine.”

 

Something was growing in the tension between them and it needed to stop. They couldn’t do this. It would just end badly.

 

But Xellos reached out and touched his arm. He had that same expression on his face, a mixture of wistful sorrow and understanding, and the shaman felt his resolve being chipped away. Zelgadis managed to keep himself from pulling away, but only because of that look.

 

It was another moment like the one before, short and bittersweet, filled with the aching for a future that could never happen.

 

“Get some sleep,” Zelgadis repeated softly, finally pulling away. He removed his cloak and sword, taking his time in order to get ahold of the urges that longing had stirred.

 

“Alright,” Xellos murmured.

 

By the time Zelgadis turned back, Xellos was facing away from him and – hopefully – asleep. He sat watch over his slumber in a nearby armchair, silent and protective as he brooded.

 

-

 

The next morning they set out for the shrine, bright and early. Xellos, having finally gotten a proper night’s rest, walked passively with the others as they made their way through the village they had come to the day before. Sarta was a pleasant place, about the same relative size and population as the previous village.

 

They got a few curious stares but mostly the inhabitants were too busy going about their lives to pay them too much mind. They seemed a busy sort of people who took their work seriously, though not in a severe way. There were signs of joy in faint music playing in the distance, and frivolity in children playing made up games.

 

Xellos looked forlornly at all of the tailor shops along the street as they walked. He wondered if they would have time to stop by one if a cure was actually in the temple they were approaching. Once he was a Mazoku again, he doubted it. There would be no more time for trivial, wonderful things like that.

 

He wouldn’t even miss the free will or the new life he would lose. He would remember, but the sorrow he felt now would be an abstract sensation. He would still care for Zelgadis, but it would be controlled.

 

Lost in his morose thoughts, Xellos only half listened as the others talked about the shrine.

 

“Anything we should know about this shrine, Lina?” Zelgadis asked.

 

His chimera looked eager, as though he were hoping his own cure was inside too. In the past, Xellos would have hoped otherwise, but as a human he felt he could finally understand. Not only would Zelgadis be free of the form he felt trapped inside, as Xellos did, but he could possibly find happiness. Even as Xellos himself was denied joy, he would never wish for the chimera to be similarly denied.

 

“Not that I know of,” the redheaded sorceress responded. She did not seem concerned.

 

“Maybe we should ask someone?” Amelia wondered.

 

Lina shrugged. “It's just a shrine. We can shield from any spells or traps.”

 

They turned a corner and the shrine came into view. It was an old, white structure that looked quite sturdy despite its age. There was no one around it, like there would have been when it was first built. In the time of Xellos’ birth, a place like this would be the center of town, and there would be more people there than any place else.

 

An elderly woman bumped into Gourry accidentally. “Oh, excuse me, young man.”

 

Amelia smiled at her. “Pardon me, baachan. You know that shrine...?” She pointed to the structure they were approaching.

 

Xellos stopped beside the princess and swordsman, curious as well. Zelgadis and Lina kept going on without them, too impatient to notice.

 

The old woman looked at them curiously. She was short, a little under Amelia’s height, and her gray eyes were big and kind. Those eyes widened in concern. “You're not wantin' to go in there, are you? It's cursed.”

 

“What kind of curse, madam?” Xellos asked, even more curious.

 

“Everyone who tries to pass through the entrance is turned into a child.”

 

The words filled him with dread. Xellos and Amelia exchanged a terrified glance. They both looked back to see Zelgadis and Lina at the entrance of the shrine ahead.

 

Gourry ran forward, reacting first. “Don’t go in!”

 

Amelia was close at his heels. “Lina-san!”

 

Xellos sighed and followed. “Oh dear…”

 

Lina waved at them as though to say not to worry, then she and Zelgadis stepped inside. They were enveloped by a blinding white light. Xellos caught Gourry and Amelia in time to keep them from joining the other two in their fate, forcing them to wait. As the light faded, their friends were revealed, though they had been drastically changed.

 

It was still them, quite obviously so. But they were children! Around seven or eight by Xellos’ estimation. Their clothes, which had not changed with them, draped over them like blankets. Lina’s hair was still long and cascaded down to her feet. Zelgadis was still a chimera.

 

This must be the curse, Xellos realized, and it had a specific purpose. The shrine turned trespassers into children to keep them from getting inside. No wonder it had been abandoned by the townspeople!

 

As they watched in shock, Lina looked at Zelgadis and screamed, “Monster!” She ran to Amelia, tripping over her oversized clothing.

 

Zelgadis looked confused until he saw his own hands, and Xellos watched as his innocence was replaced with dread and fear. He sniffled. “I don't wanna be a monster!”

 

His horrified expression pierced Xellos to his core. It seemed Zelgadis’ existence was summed up in that sentence. He got down onto one knee and held open his arms. “Zel-chan, darling, come here,” he urged gently.

 

Big, watery blue eyes focused on him for a moment. Still sniffling, Zelgadis stumbled out of the entrance toward him. He tripped over his sword belt and fell hard onto the stone floor. Xellos quickly removed his cloak and picked the child up, wrapping him securely in the black material. “There, there,” he said comfortingly. “It’s alright.”

 

Zelgadis clung to him so trustingly that a powerful emotion swelled in Xellos’ heart. It wasn’t the same as what he had felt for the chimera in the past, the affection mixed with a heavy dose of sexual attraction. The child Zelgadis was too young for him to feel that. Instead, what he felt was an overwhelming urge to protect and coddle the small form in his arms. Already he wished he could take back what Lina had said, shield Zel from the emotional hurt he knew the boy was feeling

 

Amelia covered Lina with her cape as well. “What are we going to do?”

 

Gourry drew the clothing and Zelgadis’ sword out of the shrine with his scabbard, careful not to step foot inside himself. “Er. Well, they're going to need new clothes...”

 

Xellos nodded, cuddling his precious sniffling bundle close. “Good idea, Gourry-san. We have no idea how long they'll stay like this.” Though he had hoped to go to a tailor, this certainly wasn’t what he had wanted.

 

The elderly woman who had spoken to them earlier walked over. She kept a wide birth from the temple. “They'll be normal again in a day or so, sir. But it'll happen again and again every time you try. Once had a sorcerer that tried for a whole month...”

 

“Oh dear,” Amelia murmured.

 

“Yes. By the end of it, we were all quite tired of babysitting a child sorcerer!”

 

Zelgadis whimpered. “Not a monster.”

 

Frowning, Xellos rubbed his small back in slow circles. “You're not a monster, Zel-chan. You're just different than all the other boys and girls. It's okay. Xellos-papa will take care of you.” The words came effortlessly, though Xellos had no idea if what he said was at all comforting, as the child continued to cry softly.

 

Lina pointed at Zelgadis. “He is so a monster! He looks like one!”

 

Amelia was shocked. “Lina-san!”

 

Xellos frowned in disapproval. “And you, young lady, can go to bed without dessert tonight for picking on your little brother.” This came naturally as well, though he knew not from where.

 

Lina stared at him and started sniffling as well. Xellos only felt marginally guilty, as the girl was responsible for his Zel-chan’s current misery.

 

“Actually, isn't Zel older than Lina?” Gourry asked.

 

Amelia nodded, petting Lina-chan’s hair awkwardly. “Yes, that's right.” She sighed. “Well, we should probably get them some clothing to wear until they return to normal. Lina-san isn't going to be happy about this.”

 

Gourry nodded. “Xellos and I can take Zel to get clothes, and you can take Lina, since you're girls.”

 

“Do you have the money to pay for it?” Amelia wondered, frowning.

 

Xellos checked Zelgadis’ clothes that Gourry still held, finding the chimera’s money purse. “We have Zelgadis-san’s.” He felt guilty for using his money without permission, but he felt that the man would eventually forgive him if he found out.

 

If the curse truly wore off on its own.

 

Amelia nodded and walked closer. “Everything will be okay, Zelgadis-san. I promise.” She shifted Lina-chan in her arms a little before walking away.

 

Xellos smiled after the girls, shifting Zel-chan onto his hip. He was still a bit heavy, but not too much so. “Let's get your new clothes, Zel-chan.”

 

The boy was still sniffling a little bit. “’Kay.” He hid his face in Xellos’ shirt, which concerned the former priest more.

 

Xellos kissed his forehead lightly. “It's alright, Zel-chan. We love you no matter what.”

 

He felt a little uncomfortable saying _that word_ , but Zel-chan was only a child, so it didn’t have the same connotation. It didn’t have the same pressures behind it. The child only pressed his face harder against Xellos though, as if he were trying to hide.

 

They went back down the street, heading toward one of the shops that had caught Xellos’ eye earlier.

 

-

 

TBC.


	8. A Child Named Zelgadis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New note - This is not shouta. Xellos feels no sexual attraction to the child Zelgadis.

-

 

8\. A Child Named Zelgadis

 

-

 

The tailor they found was only a little older than the one who had made Xellos’ clothing, but his personality was far more sedate and professional. He seemed friendly enough, but immediately assumed that Zel-chan’s unfortunate skin condition was also due to the shrine. The child whimpered again and Xellos turned a scathing glare on the tailor. Gourry clarified that only his age had changed and the man apologized quickly, but Xellos was unwilling to forgive the insult so easily.

 

He softened his expression only for Zel-chan, as the boy had to stand while the tailor measured him. Zel-chan clutched the fabric of his pant leg at first, but soon began venturing a few feet away as the tailor cut into cloth, interested in watching the man work. He kept Xellos’ cloak wrapped around him like a shroud.

 

Xellos watched his curiosity and smiled fondly, warmth filling him, replacing the cold sorrow that had been building there in the last few days. It was much easier to take care of Zelgadis like this. The child seemed to be able to trust him more easily and the idea warmed Xellos immensely. He carefully avoided thinking about Zel-chan’s inevitable return to his adult form. It would happen, but for the meantime this was not a problem. It would be best for Zel-chan and Lina-chan if the adults accepted things as they were and didn’t let the children panic unnecessarily.

 

That he was enjoying himself was beside the point.

 

As the tailor worked, Xellos’ opinion of the man shifted, bettering significantly as he proved to be both competent in his craft and kind to Zel-chan, patient with the child’s skittishness.

 

Gourry watched from nearby, holding the bundle of Lina and Zelgadis’ adult clothing. “So what are we going to do about the shrine, Xellos?” he eventually asked. “We can't get in with that spell, can we?”

 

Xellos shook his head. “Lina-san and Zelgadis-san have no doubt dealt with similar curses before. When they're back to normal, they'll probably have some ideas.”

 

He spoke comfortingly but confidently, hoping Gourry would drop the subject for the time being. It wasn’t something he wanted to worry about right then.

 

In addition to the clothes, they had the tailor make Zel-chan some underclothes and a hood to cover his features; the child retained his older self’s regrettable shyness. When it was done, Xellos reached into Zelgadis’ coin purse to pay the man for his work. The clothes were very nice, the same off-white as his normal outfit and durable enough to survive extensive travel. Xellos had no complaint.

 

“Hey, couldn't you make clothes based on his old ones?” Gourry asked suddenly.

 

The tailor blinked. “Yes, I could.” He nodded to the bundle in Gourry’s hands. “If you'd like, you can leave them with me overnight and I'll have them ready in the morning.”

 

Gourry fished Zelgadis’ clothing from the bundle. “I dunno what Lina wants, but Zel'll probably want clothes just like this.”

 

The tailor studied the articles of clothing and nodded. “It won't be any trouble, sirs.”

 

Xellos crouched down next to Zel-chan. “We’re finished, dear.”

 

The child flushed from underneath his new hood and nodded, lifting his arms, silently asking to be carried. Xellos picked Zel-chan up and placed him on his shoulders before standing. He stooped as they went through the doorway so that the boy wouldn’t hit his head.

 

“So what do we do now?” Gourry asked, following them outside.

 

“Hopefully Amelia-san and Lina-chan will meet us at the inn. Let's have a late lunch while we wait.” He petted Zelgadis’ leg gently. “Zel-chan, would you like an ice cream?”

 

Zel-chan nodded shyly. “’kay.”

 

“Alright.” Xellos stooped again as they entered the inn. They found a table and he sat before shifting the child to his lap.

 

Gourry frowned suddenly. “Aw. Amelia's not here. She can't buy lunch.”

 

“I'd hate to take more of Zelgadis-san's money,” Xellos murmured.

 

“It's ok. She'll be back soon, right?”

 

Zel-chan looked up at him hopefully before Xellos could answer. “Ice cream?”

 

Xellos melted. Those two words were the most he had spoken since the ‘I’m not a monster!’ incident several hours before. He could not deny him such a simple pleasure. “Of course, Zel-chan. I promised.” He signaled for a waiter.

 

Gourry smiled. “What kind of ice cream do you want, Zel?”

 

Zel-chan blinked at him bashfully. “Dunno.”

 

“Chocolate?” Xellos asked gently. It was most people’s favorite flavor.

 

“Strawberry?” Zel-chan asked hesitantly, biting his lip as though he were afraid it was the wrong answer. Xellos smiled and cuddled him to show otherwise.

 

The waiter nodded. “Right away. Anything else, sirs?”

 

Xellos ordered some actual food as well, though Gourry said that he would await Amelia’s return before ordering. To Xellos’ displeasure, the waiter suggested a booster seat. He was reluctant to let go of the boy, but he asked Zel-chan if he would like one anyway. The child nodded and the waiter retrieved one, placing it in the chair beside Xellos.

 

Once in the booster seat, Zel-chan initially looked around the dining area with curiosity. Then he noticed that people were looking at him in return and quickly ducked his head, hiding under his hood.

 

Xellos noticed—he had trouble taking his eyes off the boy for a second—and smiled threateningly at anyone who dared to look. That their stares only held interest without hostility or judgment meant nothing to him; he only cared that they had made his chimera feel uncomfortable. Those who had been staring quickly shifted their attention away when they realized they had been caught, satisfying Xellos.

 

Still, the child didn’t lift his head until the ice cream arrived. At Xellos’ gentle urging the boy picked up his spoon and took a bite of the treat. After that first taste he smiled and dug into the rest of it with gusto, accidentally smearing ice cream around his lips, too happy to notice as his hood slid back a little. He was, in Xellos’ opinion, absolutely adorable.

 

Outside, he heard the distinctly harried voice of Amelia yelling after Lina-chan. The diminutive redhead ran into the inn, giggling. Xellos stared at the very pink dress she was wearing. “Oh my.”

 

Zel-chan put his spoon down as soon as he saw her, then lifted his hood back up to cover himself. He was obviously not looking forward to encountering his “sister” again anytime soon.

 

Amelia ran in soon after, breathless. “Lina-chan!”

 

Lina darted under the table. “Ame-chan can’t catch me!”

 

Grinning, Gourry reached under the table and grabbed her, pulling her out as she squirmed in his grip. “But Gourry can!”

 

The girl giggled as she struggled. “Nooo!” Then she saw Zel-chan’s bowl of ice cream, which the boy was tentatively trying to eat while keeping his head covered. “Ice cream! I want ice cream!”

 

“No, Lina-chan,” Xellos chided gently. “No dessert today. You're still being punished.”

 

She pouted cutely. “But, but! I want ice cream!”

 

Xellos felt himself softening despite the girl’s bratty behavior—which had, undoubtedly, caused Amelia’s obvious exhaustion. “Well... If you apologize to Zel-chan and promise not to call him a monster again, then you can have a little. After you eat first.”

 

Lina-chan pouted for a bit longer until it was clear that he would not budge. “Okay.” She turned to Zel-chan. “I'm sorry you're a monster. I won't call you it again.” With that proclamation, she looked back at Xellos. “Ice cream?”

 

Zel-chan started to sniffle again and Xellos winced, rubbing his head. He was beginning to understand what had made Amelia so tired. “Lina-chan, Zel-chan is not a monster.”

 

“He looks like one!”

 

“Nonsense, dear child,” he said. At the moment she was anything but a ‘dear,’ but he somehow managed to keep his patience. “ _I'm_ a monster. Zel-chan is just a boy. You shouldn't judge others by how they look. It's not nice, and if you're not nice, no one will want to play with you.”

 

Xellos pulled the crying boy into his lap—where, in his opinion, he should have stayed—and rocked him gently, murmuring soothing words.

 

Lina-chan seemed to consider his words. “Okay. I'm sorry you look like a monster. I won't call you one again.” She turned to Xellos, slightly exasperated at being forced into politeness. “Ice cream _now_?”

 

Xellos frowned. Her tone goaded him immensely. “After you eat your vegetables.”

 

The waiter brought out their dinners at exactly the wrong moment. Lina-chan glared at the former priest challengingly. “He didn't eat his vegetables yet!”

 

Xellos raised an eyebrow. He certainly wasn’t going to be cowed by a spoiled little girl. “Zel-chan was a good boy the whole day. You, young lady, are pushing the limits.”

 

“You don't know the half of it, Xellos-san,” Amelia muttered from where she had sunk into a chair, her face pressed to the table. She and Gourry placed their orders with the waiter before he left again, the princess not bothering to lift her head to order.

 

Nodding, Xellos looked at Lina-chan carefully. He knew one definite way to get her to behave, but he had no idea if it would work. Neither Lina nor Zelgadis seemed to remember their lives up until that point. He decided to take the gamble.

 

“Lina-chan... If you don't behave and do as we say, I'll have to tell your Nee-san how you've been acting.”

 

The girl’s eyes went round and terrified. “No, no! I'll be good! Promise!” She clung to Gourry’s arm. “Don't let him!”

 

The man patted her head gently. “He won't if you keep your promise, Lina-chan. Now eat those veggies and you can have your ice cream.”

 

She looked like she wanted to pout, but thought better of it. “Okay,” she said and began eating her dinner when it arrived.

 

Xellos smiled in approval. Then he turned his attention back to Zel-chan, asking whether he wanted to finish his ice cream. Zel-chan didn’t answer at first, hiding his face against Xellos, strands of his wire hair poking through his shirt. Xellos ignored the slight pain and continued to hold the boy close. That the little chimera had spent most of the day upset was worrisome.

 

“Want to take a nap?” he asked softly, wondering if perhaps he would feel better without so many people around.

 

“Can I finish his ice cream?” Lina-chan asked Gourry softly, ever the opportunist.

 

Zel-chan heard her and pulled away. “Ice cream,” he said in a small, firm voice, clearly not wanting the girl to have it.

 

Xellos set Zel-chan back into his seat before casting a healing spell on himself; he wasn’t sure whether the boy’s wire hair had broken the skin, but he didn’t want to find out. He was relieved when the child didn’t notice the spell. The last thing he needed was another thing to feel self-conscious about.

 

He couldn’t help but notice that Zel-chan occasionally looked at Lina-chan while he slowly finished the ice cream as though to gauge her reaction. The boy seemed almost pleased with her jealousy, and ate even slower to draw out the event. Xellos could hardly blame him, given what she had said.

 

When he was finished with his ice cream, Xellos got him to eat a little of his dinner before Zel-chan was obviously disinterested in the food. Xellos ate only broth, not wanting to keep the child there longer than necessary. His eyes were already starting to droop and he clearly needed a nap.

 

“He’s so quiet,” Amelia murmured.

 

“He's dealing with a lot,” Xellos replied.

 

“But he's only a child, Xellos-san. Lina-chan doesn't remember anything.”

 

He wasn’t surprised that Amelia had also noticed their lack of memories. Xellos glanced at Zel-chan sadly. “He doesn't need to remember the details. Lina-chan pointed him out and now he knows he's different.”

 

“If it, like, unaged them, wouldn't it have put him back to normal, too?” Gourry asked, confused and thoughtful, once again pointing out the obvious.

 

“One would think so,” Xellos agreed. He didn’t want to admit that this had not occurred to him yet. “It depends on how the curse itself works.”

 

“Poor Zelgadis-san,” Amelia whispered sadly. The boy blushed over the remains of his dinner, clearly uncomfortable with all the talk about him.

 

Xellos decided that Zel-chan could wait no longer for his nap. After ensuring that Gourry would help Amelia with the rambunctious Lina-chan, he carried the boy upstairs and into their small private bathroom to wash the remains of the ice cream off Zel-chan’s face. Some of it had gotten on his shirt on the way, but he didn’t mind; clothes were easily washed.

 

Xellos wet a cloth in the sink and gently wiped the pink substance from Zel-chan’s face. However, he had carelessly forgotten about the mirror and the boy got a good look at his face for the first time. His expression was a mixture of horror and fear as he took in his own blue-tinged, hard skin, the darker stones around his eyebrows, cheeks, and chin, and the wire that was his hair. Tears formed in his eyes.

 

Xellos shifted to block his view, but the damage was already done. “Don't, Zel-chan. You are not a monster.”

 

Even to his older self, such a statement would not have mattered, wouldn’t have changed how he felt about his appearance. The child was no different, but where Zelgadis would have closed himself off and buried his emotions, Zel-chan was too young to repress them. He cried softly, hiccupping, and Xellos cuddled him close, cursing himself for forgetting about the mirror, for causing his pain.

 

“Shh, dearest. It's true. You're just different. You're special. It doesn't make you a monster.”

 

Zel-chan hid his face against Xellos again as he continued to cry. “Don' wanna be different.”

 

“I know, Zel-chan.” He continued to cuddle the boy as he took him to the bed. “It'll be alright. I won't let anyone hurt you. I'll always be here.”

 

It was a promise that, on his pride and ego, he would try with all his might to keep—even when Zelgadis was an adult again and he had to return to being a Mazoku.

 

Zel-chan would not let go of Xellos as the former priest carefully removed their cloaks and boots. He was forced to hunch over awkwardly to accommodate the little chimera’s hold. Zel-chan continued to cling until Xellos was forced to lie down with him. His sobbing slowly subsided as he fell asleep.

 

Xellos held the boy as he napped, studying his features. The younger Zel-chan still retained the strong jaw-line, and the little dimple above the darker stones on his chin. The boy had an adorable little button nose where the adult’s had narrowed and elongated to give him a more elegant look. The lashes framing his eyes seemed longer in this child-form, perhaps because his face was so much smaller. He wondered if these differences mirrored Zelgadis’ appearance as a child, or if this was only an approximation.

 

He rose after several hours in order to wash his shirt in the sink and hang it in the window to dry. He changed into a clean shirt from bedclothes provided by the inn. When he looked back at the bed, he saw that Zel-chan had pulled the blanket over his head.

 

“Zel-chan?” he asked, wondering if the boy had woken up, but he got no response.

 

Xellos slipped underneath the blanket and found the child hiding in the near-darkness. “Hi, there.”

 

Zel-chan quickly hid his face against the mattress.

 

Xellos petted his hair reassuringly. “Zel-chan, it's okay. I like how you look.” This earned a startled look from the boy and the former Mazoku smiled lovingly. “I always have,” he murmured.

 

The boy’s lower lip began to tremble at that. Xellos pulled him close.

 

“You're the dearest person to me, Zel-chan,” he whispered comfortingly, holding the boy against his chest.

 

Zel-chan clung to him. “Don't want anyone to look at me.” His voice was soft and muffled, and absolutely heartbreaking.

 

“Want to eat dinner here tonight?” Xellos asked.

 

The boy nodded and allowed Xellos to pull the covers off them. Pulling a cord beside the door, Xellos called for up a maid from downstairs and ordered their dinner. At the intrusion of someone unknown, Zel-chan hid underneath his hooded cloak, staying under even after the maid returned with their dinner and left.

 

The shyness was endearing even while it saddened him. Xellos prodded the boy gently into sitting on his lap at the table, but had to feed Zel-chan at first in order to get him to eat. He started with fish sticks, and was relieved when Zel-chan liked them enough to become interested in the rest of the food.

 

Gourry came through the unlocked the door early during their meal, looking positively exhausted. “That Lina-chan is a handful...”

 

Once again, Zel-chan hid his face against Xellos. He murmured assuring words but the boy was stubborn. Xellos smiled apologetically at Gourry. “He's very shy tonight, Gourry-san...”

 

Gourry frowned. “Aw, Zel. I've seen how you look. You look just fine to me.”

 

The boy sniffled and looked up at Gourry shyly, tentative. “You don' think I'm a monster?” he hiccupped.

 

The swordsman smiled reassuringly. “Not at all. You're my friend, Zel.”

 

The boy relaxed a little. Xellos smiled, relieved that Gourry was able to get through to him, then gently prodded him to continue eating.

 

Gourry looked a little relieved himself. “I'm gonna go get a bath. You guys going to come?”

 

Xellos shook his head. “I think Zel-chan and I will wash off in the restroom sink and take a proper bath in the morning.”

 

The boy bit his lip in displeasure. “Don' want a bath.”

 

Xellos nuzzled the boy’s rock cheek with his own smooth one. He remembered Zelgadis’ reluctance before, and knew the reasons were the same. “It'll be just you and I. Don't worry.”

 

“I can stand guard while you do, if that helps,” Gourry added helpfully.

 

The little chimera nodded slowly, clearly troubled and uncertain still, but not willing to disobey authority figures.

 

Gourry picked up his pajamas. “It'll be okay.” He looked at Xellos, worry showing in his blue eyes. “Maybe we can ask around town and see if anyone knows anything about that spell.”

 

“Tomorrow,” Xellos assured. “Zel-chan needs to rest now.”

 

Gourry nodded. “Alright. I'll be up later. You guys can have the bed again.” He departed with a smile.

 

After he was gone, Zel-chan picked up a fish stick and bit into it. He was soon taking bits of the other food tentatively with a fork and Xellos watched him, eating a little as well, but leaving the majority of it to the boy.

 

The boy suddenly looked up at him apologetically and Xellos noticed that he had spilt a bit of spaghetti sauce on his pant leg. Xellos smiled in understanding and kissed Zel-chan’s nose. “Don't worry. Nothing you do will ever make me displeased with you.”

 

Zel-chan looked truly relieved and very obviously avoided eating anymore of the pasta. Xellos decided he wouldn’t have the child become afraid of _eating_ of all things and fed him the pasta. The boy ate carefully, keeping his hands under his chin in order to catch anymore stray bits of food.  Zel-chan tried a few other things on his own after that, including a carrot, but soon seemed to lose interest.

 

Xellos had the boy wait on the bed as he called up another maid, giving her the tray and politely inquiring about a storybook. The girl smiled sympathetically, not seeing Zel-chan’s face as he quickly hid himself again, and said she would look. In the meantime, Xellos got his chimera ready for bed. The inn did not provide pajamas for children—the town had obviously grown tired of taking care of child sorcerers—so Xellos put Zel-chan in bedclothes that were far too big for him, rolling up the sleeves and legs.

 

They washed quickly using the bathroom sink again, though this time Xellos covered the mirror with his cloak before bringing him in. The boy looked both relieved and sad when he saw this, but at least he did not start crying again.

 

The maid eventually returned with a book of fairy tales. It looked as though it had been left by previous lodgers, its cover slightly careworn. She was just leaving when Gourry returned.

 

The blond sat down in the armchair nearby. “Lina's driving poor Amelia crazy.”

“Poor Amelia-san,” Xellos said regretfully, setting the book down. “But I can't read to her as well. Lina-chan and Zel-chan aren't getting along.”

 

Gourry nodded sadly. “Lina's gonna be mad at herself for saying that when she's back to normal, if she remembers it.”

 

Xellos frowned. He did not want to think about when the two would be normal again just yet. It was selfish perhaps, but he did not look forward to being pushed away by his chimera again.

 

Gourry didn’t notice. “I can go get his clothes before breakfast tomorrow. Amelia gave me the money for them, and also replaced what we used of Zel's money.”

 

Xellos hummed noncommittally and sat down beside Zel-chan to begin reading the book. He made sure to carefully select a story without monsters, instead choosing one with a dragon as the villain. He held it so that Zel-chan was able to see the pictures and the child sat close, holding onto his sleeve with a tight grip. As Xellos read, he noticed Gourry fall asleep out of the corner of his eyes, clearly lulled into a state of restfulness by his calm voice.

 

Zel-chan’s eyelids started to droop as it had a similar effect on him, but the young Zelgadis retained the stubborn streak that was part of what had always attracted Xellos to the strong chimera. He hung on for as long as he could. But eventually he lost his battle with sleep and relaxed against Xellos’ arm with his thumb in his mouth.

 

It was, by far, the cutest thing the former priest had ever seen in his long life. He set the book aside and doused the light before curling protectively around the sleeping child. Xellos fell asleep watching him.

 

-

 

TBC. Please review!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- As many of you have noted, Xellos is peculiarly emotional. Part of that is how Chrissy writes him, and partly to do with a reason that will be discussed later on.


	9. Second Attack! The Slayers Return

-

 

9\. Second Attack! The Slayers Return

 

-

 

Morning dawned as clear and bright as the day before; a perfect summer day, Xellos noted as he rose before Gourry and Zel-chan. As he was dressing in the bathroom, Gourry knocked and said he was going to get Zelgadis’ clothing from the tailor. He was relieved that the blond was taking the initiative to run that errand early. They could take a bath after breakfast when Gourry returned.

 

When he emerged, he gently woke Zel-chan. The boy stirred slowly, rubbing his eyes sleepily, and Xellos got him out of bed and helped him dress.

 

“No bath?” Zel-chan asked hopefully.

 

“Yes, bath. After breakfast downstairs.”

 

The child pouted, not at all pleased with either of these ideas.

 

Xellos melted at the cute expression. “You can't hide from the world forever, Zel-chan.”

 

“Can so,” he said, pulling his hood up to show the former priest just how easily he could hide.

 

He wasn’t quite sure how one being could be so adorable, but he was also concerned; this couldn’t be normal behavior for a child. Xellos pulled the boy into his lap, cuddling.

 

“You can't. You're braver than that. And I'll be right by your side every moment.” Zelgadis had always been very brave to Xellos. Reckless certainly, but brave nonetheless.

 

Zel-chan bit his lip and considered this carefully. “’kay,” he sighed eventually.

 

Xellos smiled and carried him downstairs, hoping that the closeness would help reassure the little chimera. Gourry had yet to return but Amelia and Lina were already there, occupying a table for five. Amelia looked positively exhausted and more frazzled than he had ever seen her. Xellos winced in sympathy.

 

“How is Lina-chan doing?” he asked delicately.

 

“She only slept a few hours,” the princess murmured tiredly. “I don't know where she gets the energy!”

 

Lina giggled impishly, not repentant at all.

 

“We might have to contact Luna-sama if Lina-chan doesn't start behaving for Amelia-san,” Xellos murmured idly.

 

The smug expression left the girl’s face immediately, replaced with fear. She clung to Amelia’s arm, whimpering and promising to be good.

 

“Who’s Luna-sama?” Zel-chan asked with shy interest.

 

“Someone very scary,” Xellos told him in a conspiratorial whisper. “If Lina-chan picks on you again, say you'll tell Luna-sama.”

 

The whispering and the creation of a secret plot seemed to appeal to the boy. He grinned, showing sharp little demon teeth as he nodded. It was the first time he’d seen that expression, the first real smile, since the transformation the day before, and it suited Zel-chan far more than the sorrow and worry. His eyes sparkled with life and pleasure and he looked like a mischievous little boy – exactly as he should, Xellos decided. He hoped he could keep that expression on the child’s face.

 

This time, Zel-chan stayed in his lap.

 

Gourry joined them soon after and flagged down a waitress, ordering a large breakfast for himself. Xellos made sure that Zel-chan was eating before asking how it went.

 

“The clothes look good,” the blond swordsman said. “They're a lot better-made than his old ones, too.”

 

Xellos smiled. “I hope he'll be pleased with them.”

 

Though thinking of the elder chimera made him instinctively start petting the child’s hair. He found that he was still quite troubled about what would happen when Zelgadis would return to normal. It was unwise to get used to the closeness that his shared with Zel-chan, but there was no way he could push the boy away now. Zel-chan needed him.

 

“Well, he'll at least be glad he doesn't have to go to the tailor for measurement,” Gourry pointed out. “I don't think he was looking forward to that.”

 

Xellos nodded, remembering Zelgadis’ aversion to being at all undressed in front of anyone else. That he had gotten the chimera to dress down to a towel in the baths had been due to his tenacity alone, Xellos knew.

 

Amelia looked up sadly. “I hope he's not too upset with Lina-san when they get back to normal.”

 

“He won’t be,” Xellos assured, smiling.

 

The princess nodded, looking thoughtful. “He's so well-behaved. And so quiet. I wonder if he was really like this as a kid.”

 

Xellos laughed softly. “Probably not as quiet, but he was raised by Rezo-san. I doubt he would have put up with too much.”

 

“I wonder if he had a happy childhood...”

 

Xellos studied the top of the boy’s head. Zelgadis’ early life was something of a mystery even to him. He didn’t like mysteries when he wasn’t in on them. “Remember, he trusted Rezo-san. Some of those years must have been happy for him, until the incident happened.”

 

“I suppose so,” she agreed doubtfully. “But sometimes children trust and love unconditionally. He looked up to Rezo-san, but that doesn't necessarily mean he had a happy childhood. I'm sure Rezo-san was busy as the Red Priest...”

 

Xellos nodded, relenting. “These are things I do not have experience with.”

 

Amelia was startled, having obviously forgotten. “Oh, that's right. You didn't have a childhood...”

 

Xellos smiled, rubbing the back of his head. “Not really. Moments after my ‘birth,’ my master ordered me to destroy a fleet of dragons.”

 

He wasn’t sure how the princess could have forgotten, as it was the main purpose of their current travels – to find a way to return him to his Mazoku self. Amelia couldn’t know how he wished to remain human; though, knowing the girl, perhaps she wanted him to remain human for her own idealistic reasons.

 

“How awful!” Amelia cried, shocked.

 

Xellos laughed uncomfortably. “Actually, I rather enjoyed it.” He supposed that, in his own way, he had been a child, but it wasn’t really comparable to human childhood. Perhaps Zelgadis had made a valid point when he’d teased that Xellos didn’t have much practice at being an adult.

 

Over the course of the meal, Lina’s behavior improved a great deal. She convinced Amelia to let her and Zel-chan have ice cream, and buttered Xellos up by offering the boy the strawberry from her ice cream. Even if it was blatant bribery and manipulation, Xellos still approved, if only because it made Zel-chan happy.

 

After deciding to spend the day researching the spell that had transformed Lina and Zelgadis, they parted from the girls in order to visit the baths. Gourry watched the door as he had promised, and Xellos made sure there was no one in the water before helping Zel-chan undress. Almost immediately upon the removal of his clothing, Zel-chan grabbed a towel and draped himself in it, the towel large enough to wrap around his small body several times.

 

Xellos patted the boy’s head fondly before removing his own clothing.

 

“You don't look like a monster,” Zel-chan said suddenly.

 

Xellos blinked down into the large, curious eyes that looked over his naked body. At first he was confused what the boy meant. Then he remembered the previous day and how he had scolded Lina.

 

“Oh, that. As I said, sometimes monsters don't look like monsters. And I'm not a monster anymore. I'm human now.”

 

The boy almost instantly looked hopeful. “Can I change too?”

 

Xellos closed his eyes to hide his emotions, forcing a smile. “Maybe.”

 

How could he possibly tell Zel-chan the whole truth? He didn’t know for certain if there was a way to make him human again. In his current state, if there was, Xellos would gladly help him get it.

 

After almost drowning the boy – Zel-chan was small but he was still made of stone and had sunk like one – the bath proceeded uneventfully. They washed and redressed before joining Gourry.

 

Xellos decided that it was time they looked for the girls. The less time Amelia had to deal with the rambunctious Lina-chan alone, the better. He lifted Zel-chan onto his shoulders, noting with satisfaction that the despite the incident in the bath and having to be naked the boy still looked happy.

 

As soon as they stepped outside, Xellos saw that they were just in time to help the princess. She ran past, chasing after the impish little girl, who appeared to have forgotten her promise to behave. Gourry ran after them to help.

 

Xellos gasped as Lina-chan dodged Gourry, suddenly dartin down a dark alleyway. They couldn’t let the girl out of their sight; it wasn’t safe.

 

“Lina-chan! Hold on tight, Zel-chan,” he told the boy riding his shoulders as he followed quickly.

 

Lina-chan, still out of sight, screamed. The three adults quickened their steps, following the sound. As they turned a corner, they saw what had happened: Lina-chan had been caught by a Mazoku. It was fairly large, though only vaguely human-shape. He had the little girl by her ankle and dangled her in the air threateningly.

 

She reached out to them futilely, her short limbs flailing, the dress falling over her torso to reveal that Amelia had also decided that pink was an appropriate color for undergarments.

 

“Ame-chan, help!”

 

Gourry and Amelia moved into action immediately, careful to not hit Lina. Xellos hesitated before joining the battle, quickly removing Zel-chan from his shoulders before casting. “Ra Tilt!”

 

The Mazoku let go of Lina-chan in order to teleport. Gourry caught her and rolled to the side in order to avoid the spell as well.

 

Xellos hissed in anger, recognizing the typical move of Mazoku combat. He turned quickly and cast even before he saw the Mazoku reappear. “Blam Blazer!”

 

His quick thinking caught the servant off its guard, the spell hitting him square on. The Mazoku howled in pain. The attack wasn’t enough to destroy him, and made a grab for Zel-chan. The boy yelped in fear and scrambled away from the outstretched, monstrous hand, only to find that escape was unnecessary. A shield had been quickly erected around him by Xellos.

 

Xellos smirked smugly as the Mazoku’s hand connected with it, bewilderment flashing across the malformed face. Then the servant turned on his former ally, sending a blast of energy at Xellos before he went after Zel-chan again.

 

Xellos dodged, barely, but cast nothing else – as a human he could only cast one spell at a time. He chose to protect Zel-chan, even if he left himself open for attack. It was a gamble, but not much of one; a second later Amelia appeared to back him up, as he had expected she would.

 

“Elmekia Flame!”

 

The Mazoku cried out and sizzled a bit, but still did not die – Dolphin was clearly sending higher-level minions after them, hoping to take them out while Lina and Zelgadis were incapacitated.

 

The creature attacked again, and this time Xellos could not evade its supernatural speed. He went flying, crashing into some empty crates nearby and hitting his head sharply against the side of a building. Xellos did not even have time to curse his ineptitude as he lost consciousness.

 

-

 

The shield around Zel-chan failed as soon as Xellos was knocked out and the monster took advantage, grabbing the child. “Surrender or he dies!”

 

In a flash it was over. A black blade of power struck the Mazoku in the back before he could carry through with his threat. Zel-chan was flung away, hitting a wall and falling to the ground with a cry. Amelia rushed to the child and held him close.

 

“Wha-What?!” the Mazoku gasped, trying to turn to see who had gouged him. He saw a petite redhead in a torn pink dress that was far too small for her.

 

Lina Inverse, greatest sorcery genius of her time, was once again an adult, and she was none too pleased with having been attacked and used as bait. The fact that the tiny pink panties she was wearing were now pinching uncomfortably in rather sensitive places only fueled her rage.

 

She smirked. “Ragna Blade!” she finished, slicing him through easily.

 

The Mazoku screamed, disappearing as he was destroyed.

 

“Good riddance!” Lina sighed, glad to be herself again.

 

She remembered all that had transpired while she had been under the spell, but it seemed almost too bizarre. She hadn’t remembered anything of her past, only vague impressions of things. Like how she had known, instinctively, that she could trust these adults. She’d also known that she could drive them crazy, Lina remembered with some amusement.

 

Gourry looked around worriedly. “Where’s Xellos?”

 

Before she could answer, a hand shot out from the rubble he had landed in. “Here!”

 

The blond man helped Xellos up. “You okay?”

 

Xellos was obviously injured, but he brushed off Gourry’s concern with a strained smile. “Never mind me. Zel-chan…”

 

“He’s mostly just frightened,” Amelia said, healing a cut that the child had likely received when the Mazoku grabbed him. Lina could remember feeling its sharp claws against her skin as it had dangled her upside down.

 

Lina wasn’t sure what to think about Xellos’ seeming concern. She didn’t know what to think about Xellos having real feelings for Zelgadis, and decided not to worry about it on at the moment. She was a bit more concerned about Zel. “I’m back to normal. Why isn’t he?”

 

Amelia shrugged. “No idea. We must find out more about the spell.”

 

Xellos took Zel-chan from the princess in a decidedly possessive fashion. “Zel-chan, I'm sorry. Are you alright?”

 

The child pressed his face against his guardian, shaking. “Scared.”

 

Xellos cuddled him close. “It’s alright, dear. The Mazoku is dead. You’re safe.”

 

Lina looked away, down toward her feet, uncomfortable with Zel-chan’s fear. Then she realized exactly how short that dress was on her. “Ah! Amelia, this dress!”

 

Amelia blushed prettily and nervously offered over her cape, which Lina quickly wrapped around herself. They returned to the inn quickly so that she could get some proper clothes – and in case Zelgadis transformed back unexpectedly, all of them knowing that the chimera wouldn’t want to wind up standing naked in the middle of town.

 

He did not, and it wasn’t until they arrived back at the boys’ room that any of them noticed that something else was wrong.

 

Zel-chan suddenly cried out, “Xellos-san! You're bleeding!”

 

Hearing this, Lina and Amelia rushed in after them. “Xellos-san, you should have said something!” Amelia chided as she began to heal him.

 

Zel-chan, frightened by the sight of blood, had to be taken away from Xellos and cleaned up by Gourry. Leaving the situation to their capable hands, Lina slipped out momentarily to get dressed in some proper – and not pink! – clothing.

 

“So we need to figure out what's behind that spell and see if the effects are reversible,” she summarized upon her return.

 

“Xellos-san will need to rest here,” Amelia announced, and her tone left no room for argument from either Lina or the former priest himself.

 

Zel-chan returned to Xellos slowly. By then he had his hood up and was obviously hiding. Lina winced guiltily, remembering all the things her child self had said to him. It made her sick with herself – Zelgadis was like her best friend. They understood each other on a deep, fundamental level, and Lina could usually depend on his level head, anything to do with Rezo notwithstanding.

 

Lina approached the bed slowly. “Zel-chan, I'm sorry about what I said. You're definitely _not_ a monster.” She smiled as the child looked at her uncertainly. “Definitely.”

 

Zel-chan smiled weakly. “'kay. How'd you get so big?”

 

She grinned. “Lotsa milk and veggies.”

 

“But Amelia-san had to bribe you with ice cream before you'd eat those.”

 

Lina laughed a little. “Yeah, I remember that. I'm pretty spoiled.”

 

The boy seemed to think about this dilemma. “Is it like how Xellos-san stopped being a monster and turned human? Will that happen to me?”

 

Lina hesitated. She wasn’t sure which sense Zel-chan meant – being adult or being human again, and she didn’t want to try to address the latter. “Eh... Well, we're still trying to figure that out, but hopefully. We'll be back in a little while, so take care of Xellos, okay? “

 

Zel-chan nodded readily. “'kay.”

 

“Poor Zelgadis-chan,” Amelia murmured sadly.

 

Lina shook her head at the girl and tugged her out of the room. “C'mon. Let's find someone to talk to downstairs.”

 

They left, closing the door behind them, and went to find out anything else they could about the spell.

 

-

 

Xellos sat awake while Zel-chan slept. The boy had fallen asleep shortly after the others had left, clearly worn out by the events of the morning. The child had no nightmares but he stayed close to Xellos, one small, blue hand holding tightly to his pant leg.

 

His shirt was ripped and caked in his own blood from the attack, so he had tossed it aside and now that Zel-chan was fast asleep, he could not get up to get a clean shirt. Not that being shirtless was necessarily a problem. Xellos knew his frame was fit. He had no reason to be modest – except perhaps regarding the small hairs that were appearing on his torso.

 

Gourry returned hours later and informed him that Lina needed to speak to him downstairs. It was close to dinner anyway, so Xellos woke Zel-chan from his peaceful slumber and carried the boy with them downstairs.

 

Amelia turned bright red as soon as she saw him, chiding, “Xellos-san!”

 

Xellos shrugged, not caring about his appearance. “I'll need to go to the tailor again myself, now. What have you learned?”

 

Lina, her face also flushed, would not look at him. “You know, Zel has two shirts he's not using, and this inn provides pajamas. Pretty sure the restaurant is ‘no shirt, no shoes, no service,’ too.”

 

Xellos sighed at the human prudishness and left Zel-chan in Amelia’s care as he went up to change. He chose Zelgadis’ older shirt, not wanting to wear the new one before the chimera had gotten a chance to himself. Doing so would be rather rude. He noticed that Zel-chan had neglected to take his hood down with him, and took it with him as he returned to their table below, not wanting the boy to be uncomfortable.

 

“You realize,” Xellos told the others as he helped Zel-chan put the cape on, mildly peevish, “in my true form I never wore clothing.”

 

Lina glared. “Yeah, yeah, Mr. Polishing fake boots while Phibrizo gives Lina a back massage.”

 

Xellos inclined his head and dropped the issue. Sometimes one had to respect the opinions of their friends even when they felt differently; plus Lina looked rather like she might hit him if he said anything more on the subject. He took Zel-chan back into his lap and they ordered dinner.

 

As they waited for the food to arrive, Lina leaned forward toward Xellos to tell him what they had learned. “Apparently the length you remain in the shrine effects how long you remain small. And it's not a complete reversion, so that's why he's still a chimera.”

 

The former priest grew thoughtful. “He was in the entryway a little longer than you were. After all, you ran screaming almost immediately,” he said pointedly.

 

Lina winced, remembering. “Yeah...”

 

“The locals said we shouldn't worry unless it's more than a few days,” Amelia continued. “That's usually the longest it's lasted, especially given that he really wasn't inside for very much longer than Lina-san.”

 

Xellos frowned at the back of the boy’s head. The chimera could very well turn back to normal right there in his lap. Zel-chan would be gone, and the closeness with him. Zelgadis would not trust him anymore.

 

Gourry noticed. “What’s wrong, Xellos?”

 

Xellos hid his face, shaking his head. “It's nothing. Please don't worry.”

 

He watched the blond swordsman through his bangs as he frowned thoughtfully, then brightened. “Don't worry. I'm sure Zel will like you just as much once the spell wears off.”

 

Xellos was so surprised that he lifted his head. Sometimes it still surprised him how perceptive Gourry could be. “It's... a bit more complicated than that, Gourry-san,” was all he admitted.

 

Amelia frowned now as well, and when she spoke her voice was soft. “Zelgadis-san is a lot more open as a child, isn't he? It's hard to take care of someone who closes himself off.”

 

“You realize he's going to remember every word you say around him, right?” Lina pointed out casually.

 

“I realized it was a possibility, Lina-san,” Xellos responded in the same tone.

 

“You realize that if I hadn't very much deserved it at the time, I'd kick your ass for saying certain things.”

 

Xellos was unrepentant for having used her fear of her sister against her, again. “Yare yare.”

 

“It's really surprising that you remembered her even during the effects of that spell!” Amelia said. “Zelgadis-san doesn't remember anything, not even Rezo-san.”

 

“That's not entirely true, Amelia-san,” Xellos admitted softly. “He remembers his discomfort with his body. That wasn't entirely Lina-san's fault.”

 

“Some things you can't forget,” Lina murmured with a haunted look, and Xellos wondered if she were thinking of her sister again. Obviously whatever punishment Luna-sama had meted out had been unforgettable.

 

“Poor Zelgadis-san,” Amelia said sadly. “He's only a child now, and still all he can think about is a cure...”

 

Xellos frowned and cuddled Zel-chan close, as though he could futilely make the child feel better.

 

He loosened his hold as dinner arrived, allowing the boy to eat. Again, his own appetite was missing as he helped Zel-chan eat.

 

Lina actually paused instead digging in immediately, as was her custom. “I kinda hope the spell wears off soon. Then he'll be able to help me figure out how we're going to get into that shrine!”

 

Xellos did not react, but Lina must have seen something in his expression because she continued on.

 

“Look, Xellos, it's not safe for him to be so helpless while they're after us. He could've been badly hurt, or worse, this morning. It's really better for him if it wears off quickly.”

 

“Yes,” he agreed softly. She was right, of course. He knew she was. As a child, Zelgadis was defenseless and an easy target. The servant from earlier that day had been after the children specifically. But even so, Xellos felt selfishness well up in him.

 

Lina started eating and talked through her mouthful. “And don't go blaming yourself, either. We accepted the risks.”

 

Xellos hummed noncommittally and continued to watch Zel-chan eat.

 

The meal and their usual banter continued on until the boy was obviously falling asleep. Xellos took him promptly to bed, dressing him again in a set of pajamas that were far too large for him, keeping the cuffs loose for the unavoidable. He lay beside Zel-chan, watching him sleep. Gourry came up to bed later and took up the chair again, creeping quietly so as not to disturb either of them.

 

Gourry turned out the light and Zel-chan cuddled closer to him as though the sudden darkness had disturbed his sleep. Xellos’ presence seemed to calm him as he relaxed again almost immediately.

 

Xellos smiled sadly. In the next few hours Zel-chan would return to normal for sure.

 

He could not sleep.

 

Several hours later, the inevitable did indeed happen. The child’s small body was enveloped in a holy light. It elongated, the build morphing from that of a child to a slender, muscular young man. There was a sharp ripping sound and Xellos winced – he had forgotten about the underpants! Zelgadis’ strangled gasp confirmed that the garments had indeed stretched on some very unfortunate locations.

 

The chimera left his arms and struggled to the bathroom. Xellos followed him worriedly.

 

“Need a knife,” Zelgadis murmured in a pained voice, sounding barely awake. He was leaning against the bathroom wall, grimacing in pain, his fangs flashing in the sliver of moonlight shining through the high window.

 

Xellos nodded and returned quickly with a knife from the chimera’s own belongings, helping Zelgadis as he cut the remainder of the undergarments off, helping him pull the fabric from uncomfortable crevices. The shaman seemed to be too tired and in too much pain to even be embarrassed, and Xellos had honestly hoped to be able to touch him like this under different circumstances. Zelgadis sighed in relief when the task was done, and cast a quick Recovery spell before stumbling back to bed.

 

The former priest followed and joined him uncertainly. He thought the chimera would surely push him away, but instead Zelgadis pressed close and fell back to sleep.

 

Xellos curled around him protectively without hesitation. He pulled the chimera close, once again feeling the sexual attraction that had been missing during the past few days, letting it mingle with a feeling of loss. He let sleep overtake him.

 

It seemed that the rejection would wait until the morning.

 

TBC.


	10. What a Heart Wants

-

 

Chapter Ten: What a Heart Wants

 

-

 

“Oh hey!” Gourry’s voice broke through his exhausted sleep the next morning. “You turned back, Zel!”

 

Zelgadis groaned, the bright sunlight sharply invading his senses. He sat up and winced as his headache got that much worse. Absently, he took stock of his body. He was an adult again and in combination with the headache, he was still sore from the ‘wedgie from hell,’ as he was sure Lina would phrase it if she were to find out – and he sincerely hoped she didn’t.

 

“Careful,” someone murmured softly by his elbow.

 

He blinked and looked down, seeing that he was still partially in Xellos’ arms. He remembered quickly what had occurred while he had been a child and the care the former priest had shown him. Zelgadis quickly pushed it from his mind before he could think too much on Xellos’ affection or comforting touch.

 

“Hm?”

 

“You’re still recovering,” Xellos spoke softly, his words slurring a little. Zel wasn’t sure if he was referring to last night – he was rather embarrassed that Xellos’ had seen him like that, and wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened – or something else. It was obvious that the former Mazoku had not gotten much sleep either.

 

Zelgadis remembered being a child and occasionally waking from a nap or in the night to see Xellos hovering over him, watching him with quiet, thoughtful eyes. He had wondered if the adult ever slept. Seeing how tired and wane he looked, Zelgadis remembered quite a few other things that Xellos had been neglecting as well.

 

Zel tried to push this from his mind also. It wasn’t too difficult at the moment, given his exhaustion, but he knew he would have to think about it eventually.

 

“You guys may have been right,” he said. “That spell didn't react well with Rezo's. I feel really drained.”

 

Xellos nodded thoughtfully. “I was hoping it hadn't.”

 

The shaman lay back down beside him. “You guys planned to go to a tailor... I don't think I'm going to come.”

 

“I'll stay with you,” Xellos immediately offered.

 

He shook his head, trying not to concentrate on the fact that Xellos’ arm was still around him, how comfortable that felt. “My shirt's too small for you, and yours needs to be mended at the least. I just need to sleep.”

 

Xellos’ frown was disapproving and anxious. “It’s not safe.”

 

“I can take your clothes, Xellos,” Gourry interrupted brightly. “They can do what they did with Zel's.”

 

Xellos tried to hide it, but the suggestion clearly came as an obvious relief. “Excellent suggestion, Gourry-san. I'd forgotten all about that already.”

 

Gourry grabbed his own clothes and got dressed in the bathroom. When he returned, he grabbed Xellos’. “Dunno when we'll be back. Want me to bring up breakfast before we leave?”

 

“This inn has room service,” Xellos reminded gently.

 

“Oh, right! I'll let Lina know. She's probably eating breakfast already.”

 

Xellos laughed softly. “Yes. Typical Lina-san.”

 

Only half listening to their exchange, Zelgadis curled up, prepared to fall back to sleep. He felt arms curl around him and decided to let it go for now, settling against Xellos’ chest. Zel was far too tired to argue and Xellos’ body was warm and familiar. He fell back to sleep quickly.

 

He slept entirely through Gourry’s return, resting against Xellos for several hours before stirring again. Zelgadis stayed there, enjoying Xellos’ warmth far too much before sitting up.

 

Xellos closed the book he was reading – the children’s book the former priest had read to him from the other night. “Any better?”

 

Zelgadis nodded mutely, watching him. Xellos still looked tired and too pale, and there were lines of tension throughout his body. He didn’t know how to interpret the tension but he knew he was the cause.

 

“I’m glad,” Xellos said, setting the book aside with care.

 

Zelgadis looked away and was silent for a long time. He tried not to think about it, but he couldn’t help but remember the past two days. Xellos had taken care of him without asking for anything in return, and had done so without mocking or malice, seemingly for the sole reason that he cared for the little boy. Zelgadis, as a child, had returned that kindness with absolute trust and a pure, strong love.

 

“Thank you,” he said.

 

Xellos lifted his head and blinked his human eyes slowly, but there was no confusion. “No need.”

 

Zelgadis was relieved that he didn’t have to explain, and tried not to think about how wonderful it was that Xellos understood him so well. He changed the subject. “You haven't eaten today. We should probably get lunch.”

 

On cue, Xellos’ stomach grumbled. “Yes,” he said, laughing awkwardly. “Please rest. I will get it.”

 

Zelgadis nodded but could not rest, feeling that he had been in bed far too long. He grabbed his clothing and went into the bathroom to change. He pulled his hood up over his head before stepping back outside once Xellos was finished ordering their lunch. He walked to the balcony doors and opened them, letting the breeze in.

 

“Are they still out?” Zel asked, taking a seat at the table. He kept his head bowed self-consciously and watched as Xellos made their bed with clean sheets.

 

“Gourry-san returned awhile ago and said that Lina-san wanted to go out again to gather information.”

 

Zelgadis nodded again. “I'm not going near that shrine again unless we figure out that spell.”

 

Xellos hummed thoughtfully, almost obsessively tugging and smoothing the sheets down. “If it's tied to the archway in the entrance, we could just blow it up.”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“The villagers would be alright with it, most likely. That spell is as inconvenient for them as it is for anyone that enters the shrine.”

 

“Yeah, but how are we going to test it?” Zel asked grumpily.

 

Xellos shrugged, his back to Zelgadis. “I don't mind being a guinea pig.”

 

Zelgadis’ immediate impulse was to shout at Xellos for even suggesting putting himself at risk, but he restrained it. “We don't know how that spell would interact with what the Mazoku did to you.”

 

“Perhaps.”

 

“Given the power drain on me, it's really not worth the risk,” Zelgadis pointed out reasonably. “I'm not human, so I was able to withstand it. You are.”

 

Xellos ran a hand through his hair and only then seemed to notice the tangles, for he grabbed a brush. “I am still adjusting to the change,” he said softly after a moment.

 

“I know. Even if you weren't, it's too dangerous. And given that I don't intend to babysit Lina, we'll have to get Amelia or Gourry to do it.”

 

Xellos laughed faintly. “Yes. Lina-chan once was enough to handle. Amelia-san would have a nervous breakdown if she had to do it again.”

 

Zelgadis smirked slightly. “Maybe it's Lina's turn to babysit Amelia. Can you imagine her as a kid?”

 

Xellos’ laugh was a bit more honest this time as he covered his hand with his mouth. “Oh dear, yes. All too easily.”

 

The chimera smiled, the tension between them abating for a moment. The knock on the door announcing the arrival of their lunch interrupted anything else that might have mended the situation for the moment. Zelgadis pulled his hood further down over his eyes as Xellos answered it, bringing their meal inside.

 

Xellos set the table for them, and Zelgadis looked away quickly as he caught sight of a bowl of strawberries. He could almost taste them, but he didn’t reach for one. Just the sight of them brought up memories best forgotten, of someone who looked very much like Xellos – memories that were painfully close to the events of the past few days.

 

“I’m sorry,” Xellos said. “I didn’t order these.”

 

Zelgadis shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said shortly, pulling his plate toward them and digging in. He looked up through his wire fringe and noticed that Xellos merely poked at his food, only occasionally eating a few bites.

 

“They probably assumed that the spell hasn't worn off yet,” he said, thinking that Xellos was still troubled by them.

 

“Seems that way,” Xellos murmured without enthusiasm.

 

He went back to his food, uncomfortable with discussing it further. The playfulness that usually resided in Xellos seemed almost completely depleted. Zel had never thought in his life that he’d ever see the former Mazoku morose, but he did seem to be approaching some sort of depression. He tried valiantly to ignore it, but Xellos was so damn _obvious_.

 

He had an easier time ignoring the strawberries. Finishing his meal, Zelgadis pushed his chair back a bit and stared out the window, sipping the rest of his coffee and stealing glances at his companion. _Who could be much more than a companion,_ a part of his mind added unhelpfully. He could still feel Xellos’ body and craved it again with an increasing pressure.

 

Xellos started on the strawberries, ignoring the rest of his lunch entirely.

 

Zelgadis frowned. “You need to eat,” he said softly. “Don't think I didn't notice that you've barely been eating.”

 

“I haven't been hungry,” Xellos said evasively.

 

The chimera looked at him fully, his frown deepening with disapproval. “You should be. Are you feeling ill?”

 

Xellos lowered his eyes, almost demurely, which was a strange action from him. “Not that I'm aware of.”

 

“Maybe the food is too heavy for you just yet,” Zelgadis noted, considering. He remembered, at one point, Xellos having only broth during a meal, then mostly banana pudding at another.

 

“Perhaps...”  

 

“Then you'll have to stick with the basics. It's probably good that they brought these up, then.”

 

Xellos looked down at the strawberry in his hand thoughtfully. “I... knew a little boy once who loved them.”

 

Zelgadis flinched and turned away, looking at the village outside. It would’ve hurt less if Xellos had plunged a magically enhanced dagger in his chest. “That little boy doesn't exist anymore, Xellos.” Rezo had destroyed that little boy a long time ago. “Just let it be.”

 

“Yes,” said the former priest softly. “He’s gone now.”

 

Zelgadis closed his eyes, pained. He knew he was hurting Xellos but he didn’t know what to say.

 

He stood and went to stand by the balcony, putting some distance between them. The tension in the room seemed to grow thicker.

 

He wished, irrationally perhaps, that Xellos could just go back to being a Mazoku already. Then he’d stop feeling whatever he was feeling and Zel could go back to pretending he’d never felt anything from the start. The longer Xellos stayed like this, the more Zelgadis wanted to forget the whole quest, damn the consequences.

 

“I’m sorry,” Xellos whispered.

 

Zelgadis turned back, his face carefully expressionless. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

 

Xellos kept his head bowed, his bangs covering his eyes. “I didn't prefer you that way. It's just...”

 

The shaman softened a bit, involuntarily. “What Amelia said last night,” he finished for him, looking away again. “We already discussed this, Xellos.” He paused but Xellos didn’t respond, the silence stretching uncomfortably. “I really just don’t want to talk about what happened. Please.”

 

“Neither do I,” was the soft reply.

 

But it was clear from the hints he’d dropped that he did, and that he was only backing off because Zel didn’t want to. Zelgadis leaned against the balcony rail with a sigh.

 

Gourry came in then, announcing the return of the rest of their group. If the swordsman noticed how uncomfortable it was, he didn’t mention it. Xellos lifted his head finally and Zelgadis could tell the smile he gave Gourry was completely fake.

 

“Did Lina discover anything new?” Zel asked, walking back inside.

 

Gourry nodded. “You’ll have to talk to her about it though. I didn’t understand it again.”

 

“Where is she?”

 

“In the girls’ room.”

 

Zelgadis glanced at the room next to theirs and considered the wisdom of interrupting Lina and Amelia’s private time. He decided against it. He wasn’t jealous; he just didn’t want to get blasted through the wall during one of Lina’s irrational fits of rage.

 

The chimera returned to the table and poured himself a fresh cup of coffee. “Did you get your clothes?”

 

“Yeah,” Gourry answered. “Haven't had the chance to change into them.”

 

“Oh, so you got Xellos’ as well?” Zel asked, dimly remembering the exchange from this morning.

 

“Oh, sure.” Gourry reached into one of the bags he had brought in, pulling out a bundle of clothing.

 

Xellos blinked. “… Purple?”

 

Gourry’s grin was sheepish. “Uh, yeah. They asked what color and it was the first thing to come to mind. It's nice and dark, though. I didn't think you wanted the lavender fabric. They also mended your black ones.”

 

Zelgadis stifled a laugh at Xellos’ expression.

 

Xellos took the bundle of purple clothing, still blinking. “... I shall go try them on,” he said uneasily, slipping into the bathroom.

 

“You'd better hope they don't clash with his hair,” Zel whispered to Gourry.

 

Gourry laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. “Yeah…”

 

“The worst he'll do is pout if it does.” He wasn’t imagining that attractive pout in advance. Certainly not.

 

However, when Xellos returned, it was obvious that Gourry had lucked out and chosen the exact shade of purple that absolutely didn’t clash with his hair. It was a dark velvet-purple that seemed to draw out the color of his hair to a striking brightness, as well as his eyes. The cut was very good and fit the tall man’s frame perfectly.

 

Zelgadis felt his breath leave him for a second, his amusement vanishing. “Looks like you're safe, Gourry. It works better than the black.”

 

Xellos blushed, almost shy. “I don't look like a giant grape?”

 

He shook his head quickly. “It suits you. It's darker than your hair and eyes. I think if it were lighter there'd be a problem.”

 

Gourry smiled. “Yeah, it looks really good, Xellos.”

 

Xellos smiled back. “Maa. Flattery will get you everywhere, Gourry-san.”

 

Gourry, thankfully, missed the flirtation completely. “I'm going to go take a bath. No one's down there right now. You guys want to come?”

 

“I will.” Xellos grabbed his staff. “Humans get so dirty...”

 

“I’ll pass,” Zel said.

 

“You sure? I can –” Gourry stopped when Xellos touched his arm.

 

“Leave him be, Gourry-san.”

 

Gourry nodded uncertainly and left with Xellos.

 

Zelgadis relaxed, relieved to be alone with his thoughts. He had to gather himself for when he saw Xellos again. He couldn’t give in to how he felt, not when it was so impossible.

 

But the reminder did nothing to dampen his desires. He wanted Xellos, more than just physically, and it hurt to continue to turn him down.

 

“Damn it.”

 

-

 

He descended the stairs when he felt calm later that evening, though he paused just in the threshold of the dining area, listening.

 

“Where the hell is Zel?” Lina bellowed.

 

“In our room,” Xellos replied, sounding bland.

 

“And why isn't he down here?” the redhead demanded suspiciously. “I'm going to order without him!”

 

Zelgadis entered finally and took a seat at table. He made sure to put Gourry in between himself and Xellos. “You bellowed?”

 

Lina turned her glare on him. “Oh, very funny.”

 

“So did you find out anything new?” Zel asked, wanting to get to the point.

 

“Yeah.” She flagged down a waiter so they could order. “It seems the spell is on the archway.”

 

“So Xellos was right,” the chimera noted, carefully stealing a glance in the purple haired man’s way. He seemed perfectly calm, unlike earlier.

 

“Oh?” Lina prodded in a highly suspicious tone.

 

Zel shrugged. “We discussed the possible causes of the spell over lunch.”

 

“And he didn't feel like sharing this with us before,” she noted accusingly.

 

“You didn't ask, Lina-san,” Xellos replied in a bland voice over the brim of his teacup.

 

“It was a logical conclusion,” Zelgadis said in his defense, if only to get Lina to move on.

 

The sorceress sighed, rubbing her head. “Alright, fine. So the people we talked to said it might be possible to either disenchant or destroy the opening, though the latter risks closing it off completely. “

 

“Zelgadis-san has experience forcing his way into temples,” Xellos murmured.

 

He shook his head firmly. “I'm not going anywhere near that shrine until we're sure the spell's destroyed. It didn't react well with Rezo's spell.”

 

Lina nodded. “Alright then. You stand back and let us take care of it.”

 

“Xellos should probably keep back, as well,” Zelgadis said, remembering the rest of their discussion earlier. “If it reacted poorly with Rezo's spell, it could react poorly with whatever Dynast did to him.”

 

The redhead rolled her eyes in irritation. “Wouldn't dream keeping you two apart. Practically joined at the hip as it is. Or somewhere around that area.”

 

“Not nearly like you and Amelia,” Zel noted mildly, refusing to rise to the bait.

 

“Oh, but it's not nearly as mature as your relationship.”

 

It was the wrong thing to say. Amelia wibbled and sniffed immediately.

 

Lina blanched guiltily. “Uh, well…”

 

Zelgadis smirked. “Did all that ‘meditating’ in the morning mean nothing to you, Lina?” he asked, hinting at the time alone the girls sometimes spent in the mornings. Amelia had claimed it was only mediation.

 

“How cruel,” Xellos murmured softly.

 

The girl glared at them both, not at all amused about being ganged up on by the two of them. “I _was_ going to apologize for what I said the other day, but if you're going to be a jerk—”

 

Zelgadis cut her off, immediately going expressionless, though the reminder was a dagger to his heart. He’d done his best to forget that incident. “Your reaction was hardly surprising, Lina, given that you were a child at the time,” he told her in a firm, almost cold voice, all humor gone. “It wasn't anything I haven't heard before.” He stood. “Excuse me.”

 

Lina started, her surprise shining in her eyes. “Zel!”

 

He waved a dismissive hand at her, not turning around as he went back upstairs. He retreated back to the bedroom he shared with the other men, wanting to be alone, but he was soon joined by Xellos.

 

“Zelgadis-san…”

 

Irritation rose up in him immediately, unabated by the concern shining in the former priest’s violet eyes. “I'd like to be alone right now, Xellos,” he whispered shortly, hunching over so that Xellos could not see his pain.

 

Xellos hesitated a moment before leaving without a word, closing the door behind him. Zelgadis listened as he slid down the wall beside the door and sat there, almost as though he couldn’t bring himself to obey Zel completely.

 

The irritation faded quickly, giving way to the pain of old wounds and fears. He glanced at the door regretfully, wishing he had the courage to call Xellos back, telling him he didn’t mean it. He _wanted_ Xellos to stay; he wanted to be with him forever. He wanted to curl up in his arms and forget about the world, even if only for a little while.

 

What was stopping him? Xellos was human now… and had already expressed a desire to stay that way. _For him._ Xellos had shown that he was capable of great feeling and compassion, something Zelgadis had never thought possible. Xellos had shown more than a sexual interest in him, that he truly cared, and yet Zel still denied him. It was hurting them both but he couldn’t seem to step through that door to new possibilities.

 

Was it only because of the Mazoku coming after them? They could find another way, surely. They always did before. Even if Xellos turned back, it was no guarantee that Dynast wouldn’t come after the rest of them anyway.

 

Or was he just being a coward? Was he only afraid of opening himself up to being hurt again?

 

Xellos had just spent the last two days unknowingly proving just how genuine he was. Why wasn’t it enough?

 

He was lying down, watching the sunset through the window, when he heard Xellos speak softly outside. He couldn’t hear the words and was about to work up his courage to call the man back when he heard Xellos stand, leaving.

 

Zelgadis grimaced and closed his eyes, cursing his spinelessness. Of course if he kept pushing Xellos away he would eventually give up.

 

Curling up, he attempted to sleep.

 

-

 

Xellos had hesitated, seeing how much pain the chimera was in, but left the bedroom obediently anyway. He just didn’t know what else to do and fell back to his natural inclination to obey orders.

 

He sat outside the bedroom for a time, not able to leave Zelgadis completely yet, and let his helplessness consume him.

 

Perhaps it was for the best. He was only causing Zelgadis pain this way, and he no longer had a Mazoku’s need to feed off of human pain. It only left him with an intense sense of guilt now.

 

If Zelgadis did not want a relationship, then the logical thing to do would be to let him go. Xellos could help the chimera in other ways along their current journey. Then he could go back to being a Mazoku and forget the ache in his chest, the one that called for the chimera to be near.

 

His Zel-chan was gone, and Zelgadis was further away than ever. Xellos didn’t know what to do, but he was tired of the constant ache. It had faded somewhat with Zel-chan but it was back now, stronger than before, as though having a taste of how happy he could be as a human made it that much worse without it.

 

It made a part of him sick with how helpless he had become. He was following Zelgadis around like some wounded puppy. It had to stop. There was no point. He wasn’t meant to have what he desired, it wasn’t in his nature or his destiny. He was a Mazoku. He had no future or happy ending waiting for him.

 

He had to give up on Zelgadis.

 

The ache only increased at the thought.

 

He hugged himself for a moment, remembering the small, trusting weight that he had held just last night. “I'm sorry, Zel-chan. I can't keep my promise to you...” He couldn’t stay with Zelgadis if the chimera did not want him. It rankled to break the promise anyway.

 

Xellos left quietly and slipped out a window up to the roof, his movements agile despite how sluggish he felt. There on top of the building, he watched the sun fall beyond the horizon and attempted to gather himself. It was quite dark before he felt ready to head back inside.

 

Returning to the room, he slipped inside quietly, eyes immediately drawn to the bed. Zelgadis slept there, though fitfully, and Gourry was nowhere to be seen.

 

Xellos frowned and considered his options as he dressed for bed. He was just contemplating making himself a bed on the floor when the chimera whimpered.

 

His resolve, flimsy though it was, shattered. He lay down beside Zelgadis and whispered soothingly. “Shh. It’s alright…”

 

He wrapped his arms around the shaman and held him close, hoping to urge him to a deeper, more relaxed sleep, but instead Zelgadis stirred.

 

“Xellos?”

 

Xellos stiffened, looking down into sleepy eyes, feeling uncertain.

 

Zelgadis’ eyes quickly closed. “I'm sorry. Don't leave.”

 

Surprised, Xellos relaxed and smiled faintly. “Alright,” he promised softly. “I won’t leave.”

 

“Thank you,” Zelgadis said, resting his head against Xellos’ chest.

 

Xellos petted his hair lightly. “No need.”

 

Zelgadis fell into a much more peaceful slumber and Xellos, relieved, soon joined him.

 

Tomorrow would bring whatever it would. For now, he wanted to sleep.

 

-

 

Gourry must have come in some time during the night after Xellos, but Zelgadis did not remember sensing him. He stayed still in Xellos’ arms, feigning sleep and absently listening as the swordsman got dressed and left quietly.

 

When they were alone, Xellos still slumbering peacefully, Zelgadis allowed himself to think about things with him.

 

It wouldn’t be easy. Xellos was still adjusting to being human and might reach a point where he would change his mind and want to be a Mazoku again. Zelgadis was still searching for a cure – futilely, perhaps – from his last little adventure with love, and he wasn’t sure he could open his heart again. He was still partly afraid to trust anyone, let alone Xellos.

 

But he did trust him now. Xellos had earned it while he was a child, and it was still there. He trusted him, and he loved him, though far less innocently than Zel-chan had. Zelgadis blushed just thinking about it.

 

The strange thing was that even remembering his insecurities, resting with Xellos like this was very comfortable.

 

Xellos made a soft sound in his sleep, surprising Zel. He rubbed the other man’s back gently, remembering how Xellos had done that to comfort him before.

 

The sounds continued and Zelgadis, concerned that he was having a nightmare, shifted enough to look up. He relaxed when he saw Xellos was smiling in his sleep. The more he listened, the more the noise sounded like a kitten meowing.

 

The memory of Xellos the mewing rabbit stirred and Zelgadis smiled slightly. Xellos continued to make the noise for some time before eventually growing quiet. He continued to smile though.

 

Hesitantly, Zel reached up and touched the other man’s hair. The purple strands were as soft as silk even to his hard fingers.

 

Xellos was soft and warm now, and he retained the quick, mischievous mind he always had. He was different now, but he was still Xellos. The mewing somehow made that obvious.

 

Suddenly there was a harsh banging on their door. “C'mon, sleepyheads! I want to check out the shrine! Oi!”

 

Zelgadis sat up, startled, leaving Xellos’ arms. Thankfully Lina didn’t barge in.

 

“Noisy,” Xellos whimpered, stirring finally.

 

Somehow, this was what made Zel irritated, not the sorceress herself. Xellos needed all the rest he could get. “Go eat breakfast. We'll be down in a minute.”

 

Lina sighed dramatically. “Uh huh. Horny idiots.” She stormed off loudly, presumably heading downstairs.

 

“For someone sexually repressed, her mind wanders easily into that direction,” Xellos whispered.

 

Zelgadis blushed and glanced down at him. “Did you sleep okay?” he asked, remembering the troublesome night before.

 

“I think so.” Xellos’ sleepy smile was wide. “For some reason, it feels like I slept much better than I have been.”

 

His blush deepening, he ducked his head. Feeling soft fingertips on his cheek, Zel looked up again, meeting concerned violet eyes. “If that helps you sleep better... I don't mind,’ he said, wanting to sooth the concern.

 

Those eyes widened. “Zelgadis…” Xellos murmured, dropping the usual honorific as he cupped the chimera’s cheek, gently caressing.

 

Zelgadis closed his eyes and didn’t move, wanting to concentrate on what little sensation he could feel from Xellos’ hand. It was soft and warm against his cool face. He dimly felt soft lips and warm breath as Xellos leaned up, kissing his forehead. Zelgadis exhaled as he did, both surprised and thrilled. He could really feel it, and it felt wonderful.

 

Then he felt a kiss on his nose and, startled, Zel opened his eyes. Xellos was smiling, looking quite happy. He put his hand over Xellos’ and smiled slightly in return.

 

Xellos’ smile grew.

 

Zelgadis reached up, touching the former priest’s hair again, closing his eyes to again concentrate on the texture. “Your hair is very soft,” he said after a thoughtful moment.

 

A light flush came over Xellos’ pale features. “I'm glad I washed it last night. It gets oily when it’s dirty.”

 

“I probably wouldn’t feel that,” Zel admitted, embarrassed.

 

“Hm.” Xellos turned his head, nuzzling the shaman’s wrist in obvious adoration. Zelgadis’ heart fluttered.

 

He let his hand curl to rest on Xellos’ cheek, feeling his skin, wondering how anyone could look so happy just from his touch. He thought about where this touching might lead, and he wasn’t afraid of it anymore. But he couldn’t initiate it; he would never be that brave.

 

“Lina's going to get impatient if we don't get down there soon,” Zelgadis finally said, hesitantly, hoping.

 

Xellos smiled at him. “Yes. She's likely to fireball the room if we linger.”

 

Zelgadis didn’t move though, watching Xellos, who stayed still as well. The former priest did not try to kiss him, though Zel wanted it so badly it almost hurt.

 

Disappointment growing, Zelgadis let his hand fall away from Xellos’ face. “You should get dressed.” It wasn’t a big deal, he tried to assure himself. Maybe Xellos was nervous too.

 

“Maa. Yours are wrinkled.” Xellos tried to straighten them futilely.

 

Zelgadis blushed lightly. “They’ll be fine.”

 

“You can always try on your new ones.”

 

“Oh. I forgot about those,” Zelgadis confessed, startled.

 

Xellos smiled cutely. “You get dressed first.”

 

He nodded, bashfully rising and slipping into the washroom to dress. He waited inside as Xellos dressed, only exiting when he was sure that the former priest was ready.

 

Xellos smiled when he saw him. “Oh my.”

 

Zelgadis glanced down at his clothing, concerned, though he did not see the problem or what Xellos found amusing. “What?”

 

“It’s very nice,” Xellos assured with sincerity, coming closer and fixing the collar of Zel’s shirt to his liking.

 

“Thanks,” Zelgadis answered softly, blushing.

 

He could see now that the smile wasn’t amused, but excited. “They're very well made. Is it easy to move?”

 

The chimera nodded, swallowing hard at the hinted eroticism in that smile. “Yeah. Good fabric.”

 

Now the smile turned mischievous. “I suppose I won't have to go back and punish the tailor...”

 

Zelgadis blushed. He remembered how angry Xellos had gotten with the tailor while he’d been a child. Would he really do something like that, for him? The thought was more worrying than it was flattering. Even so…

 

“Just a joke,” Xellos assured.

 

Zelgadis smiled back, still flushed.

 

Xellos motioned to the door. “Shall we?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

So they hadn’t kissed again yet. Even so, Zelgadis left the bedroom with Xellos, feeling cautiously optimistic about the whole thing. He hoped Xellos was too. He didn’t want the stupid former priest feeling sad again on his account.

 

 

TBC. Remember to review!


	11. Truly, Madly, Deeply

-

 

Chapter Eleven: Truly, Madly, Deeply

 

-

 

“We must think of a way to get Lina-san back for that last remark.” Xellos’ voice was casual as they descended the stairway.

 

Still, Zelgadis blushed deeper at the reminder of what Lina had shouted at them through the door a few minutes earlier. “Yes,” he agreed.

 

“I'm sure if we work together, we can come up with something wonderfully wicked.”

 

The shaman grinned slowly, evilly, remembering some of Xellos’ pranks through the years. If that power could be tempered and used for a good cause, like getting back at Lina… “I’m sure we can.”

 

Xellos’ return smile was just as evil, but with his human eyes it was no longer as disturbing as it had been when he was Mazoku. “Yes.”

 

With decidedly high spirits, Zelgadis led the way downstairs, Xellos following behind, humming a silly tune.

 

The others were already eating when they arrived. “’Bout time!” Lina managed around her food.

 

Xellos leaned in close to Zel and his features stretched in mock surprise. “Look, Zelgadis-san! It's almost like she's talking.”

 

He snorted. “Snorkling in food, more like.”

 

Xellos giggled and found a seat, picking through what was left of the food on the table. Zel sat next to him and ordered some coffee, mildly amused when Xellos fixed a plate for both of them, even going so far as to butter his toast for him. Even if it was a little much, it didn’t bother him.

 

Lina glared at them. “You two sound like you relieved some stress up there. Feeling better?”

 

“Sleeping relieves stress,” Zel answered reasonably. “You should try it sometime when you're not too busy ‘meditating’ in the mornings with Amelia.”

 

The sorceress growled, annoyed. “I thought just Xellos was annoying. The two of you working together is a nightmare!”

 

Zelgadis only grinned as he started to eat, pleased when his coffee arrived quickly. He was equally pleased to note that Xellos’ appetite had increased and he was digging into the breakfast with zeal.

 

Amelia smiled. “You look like you're feeling better, Xellos-san,” she noted, clearly noticing the same thing.

 

Xellos beamed. “I do feel better. Thank you, Amelia-san.”

 

“Amazing what some good stress relief will do, huh?” Lina prodded, not seeming to want to drop the topic and far too obsessed for Zel’s liking.

 

“You know,” Zel told her mildly, remembering Xellos’ earlier comment, “for someone so sexually repressed, your mind has a tendency to wander in that direction, Lina.”

 

Xellos covered his mouth as he giggled in that polite way of his. Amelia blushed and sipped her tea, looking as though she were pretending not to know them.

 

“I never said anything about sex!” Lina sputtered, her face flushed just saying the word.

 

“And yet you're the one who called us horny when you woke us up this morning.”

 

He didn’t bother dodging the punch as Lina swung, knowing what would be the inevitable result. She yelped and shook her already red hand vigorously. “Ow!”

 

“Lina-san, really,” Xellos chided gently. “Are you alright, Zelgadis-san?”

 

Zelgadis sat back up, unperturbed. “She wasn't really trying.”

 

“Maa.” Xellos touched his cheek anyway, lightly fingering the area the punch landed.

 

The chimera couldn’t stop himself from blushing slightly. Xellos was close enough to kiss him, but while he still wanted it, he didn’t want it in public.

 

Xellos did not kiss him though. He turned back to his food, smiling slightly as Lina resumed eating, now angrily stuffing her mouth with whatever was left.

 

Zel watched him for a moment before returning to his own plate.

 

“Would you like seconds?” Xellos asked.

 

“No, I'm fine. I don't generally need to eat very much. Very slow metabolism. Lina looks like she might Fireball us if we don't get going soon, anyway.”

 

Xellos smiled. “Lina-san looks like she wants to Fireball me all the time. I'm rather used to it.”

 

Zel didn’t bother to hide an amused smile. Xellos would be used to that.

 

“Can we go now,” Lina interrupted, “or do you two want to keep bantering?”

 

“Zelgadis-san and I can banter and walk,” Xellos responded smoothly. “We're very intelligent that way.”

 

Zel chuckled – gods, but he loved this man.

 

Lina twitched, rising. “Alright then, let's go.”

 

“So what's your plan?” he asked, following her outside with the others. It was already shaping up to be a hot day; if they had to travel, it would be hellish on Xellos.

 

The redhead cracked her knuckles. “You two stay back and let Lina-sama handle this.”

 

“You know how to contact her sister if she turns into a kid again, right?” Zel asked Xellos in a stage-whisper. “I think she might give Amelia a nervous breakdown if she has to baby-sit her again...”

 

“It cannot be that difficult,” Xellos answered in the same tone, grinning.

 

Lina shivered, looking around her as though she were checking to be sure Luna really wasn’t there. “You guys, stop!”

 

“No more comments from you?” Zel haggled. He wasn’t above blackmail.

 

She glared. “Fine. Can we go?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Once the shrine came into view, he got significantly more serious, remembering what had happened there before. He jumped a little, surprised, when Xellos touched his arm to stop him.

 

“We're waiting here, Lina-san,” Xellos told her.

 

Lina glanced at Zel and softened slightly, obviously seeing something in his expression that he hadn’t intended her to. “Alright.”

 

Xellos smiled at him. “Let's sit down and watch the show,” he said gently, guiding Zel over to a bench.

 

Zelgadis sat with a sigh, blushing as Xellos sat next to him, close enough that their shoulders touched. He was further distracted when Xellos brought the jeweled head of his staff to his mouth and used it as a microphone.

 

“And there goes Lina Inverse, self-proclaimed sorcery genius, as she prepares to break the spell. It seems she's going for a violent technique, which is standard for Lina-san.”

 

“What are you doing?” Zelgadis asked, startled.

 

Lina turned away from her inspection of the archway, glaring at them. “Can it! I said I wouldn't make any more comments!”

 

Xellos smiled awkwardly, though he didn’t seem particularly bothered that whatever joke he was trying to make had missed its mark. “I didn't mean to interrupt, Lina-san. Please continue.”

 

Lina gave him a poisonous look, obviously not believing him—with good reason, considering his track record—but turned back to the arch and began to study it critically. “Gray Bomb!” she eventually said, casting the spell with a precision that Zel hadn’t thought her capable of.

 

The ground beneath the arch exploded, and the front of the shrine collapsed. Fortunately, the rest of the building remained intact.

 

Xellos made an impressed noise and clapped. This time Lina ignored him, thankfully.

 

Amelia waited until the dust settled before climbing over the rubble, making her way inside. After a few tense moments, they heard her voice from inside, announcing that the curse was broken.

 

Zelgadis was relieved that they wouldn’t have to deal with anymore child versions of themselves. “Well, you were definitely right, Xellos. Let's just hope there aren't any more traps.”

 

“That's why you two are coming in last,” said Lina. “We can't risk what happened last time.” That said she headed into the passage with Gourry.

 

Zelgadis waited outside with Xellos until Lina sent a signal – a traveling Lighting spell that disappeared when it reached them – before following them inside. Xellos had remained unusually quiet since his last joke but Zelgadis didn’t have time to ask if anything was the matter. First priority was the temple and finding something that could help them. He tried not to think about what would happen with whatever was going on between them if there was something in there.

 

He led their way through the shrine, following after Lina, and took in the décor with mild interest. The architecture resembled both human and dragon design, which was curious but not anything he thought warranted further study at the moment.

 

“Argh!” Lina cried up ahead.

 

Startled, Zelgadis paused. “Lina? What's going on?”

 

She sounded frustrated. “Nothing, absolutely nothing! Damn.”

 

The shaman hurried forward at that, entering the room at the end of the hallway. There was a large, jewel-encrusted statue of a dragon in the center.

 

“All this and it's a fake?” he asked, dumbfounded. He wasn’t sure how to feel—disappointed at another failure, or relieved that this journey wasn’t over yet. He hadn’t really expected to find anything anyway, after what Rezo had said to him, but he couldn’t stop himself from hoping.

 

Xellos strolled in after him, in no hurry and wholly unconcerned. “Oh my. That's a very nice statue of the Water Dragon Lord at any rate.”

 

Lina rushed around the room, pressing her hands against various places in the walls. “Maybe there's a secret entrance to another room. Otherwise...”

 

The chimera leaned against the wall with a sigh, drained from the new disappointment. “Damn.”

 

Through his bangs, he saw a movement of purple, and looked up in time to see Xellos walk up to the statue. He pressed his hands together and bowed his head in what strangely seemed like prayer. Zelgadis stared.

 

“Are you praying, Xellos-san?” Amelia asked, looking as confused as Zel felt.

 

Xellos smiled. “Oh, no. I was just telling Water Dragon Lord that I remembered owing him for helping us escape Gaav, and that I might be able to repay him soon.”

 

“Oh, right. I almost forgot about that,” Zel confessed sheepishly. The old lady they had known as Aqua had helped them when Chaos Dragon Gaav had attacked within the Temple of Sand. Xellos had been unable to fight Gaav and had needed saving just like the rest of them. And with the former Mazoku’s surprising sense of honor, he’d definitely feel the need to repay such a debt.

 

“How'll you repay him?” Gourry asked curiously.

 

“Well, these _are_ his shrines we're looking through,” Xellos pointed out casually. “The opportunity may yet arise in a way I cannot foresee right now.”

 

Lina perked up. “Aqua Baasan's shrines?”

 

Xellos nodded and pointed at the large statue. “These shrines were thought to be lost. It seems that's not true - they were simply all cursed and laid with traps to keep anyone from entering them. To protect copies of the Claire Bible, I would presume. The copy we will find must be very intricate indeed for his servants to go to this much trouble...”

 

Zel was surprised. He hadn’t thought that they’d actually find anything. It had just been an excuse to travel. “So my lead wasn't useless.”

 

The former Mazoku nodded. “All we have to do is find the real one.”

 

Lina grimaced. “And evade Mazoku while doing that.”

 

“That's not too different from normal,” Zel pointed out with a shrug. “We'd have Xellos to contend with anyway if Dynast hadn't come after him.”

 

“Iya…” Xellos rubbed the back of his head in a decidedly sheepish manner, and Zelgadis couldn’t tell if he was being serious about it or not. He’d faked it plenty of times on their previous journeys.

 

They decided to leave soon after. Zelgadis led the way out, eager to buy new supplies and leave this place.

 

-

 

Xellos hesitated and hung back when the others left. Using his staff, he broke off one of the jewels at the base of the statue and pocketed it.

 

The jewel had to be blessed. He could find a good use for it later.

 

“Please add this to my tab, Water Dragon Lord,” he murmured to the statue with a smile before following his friends.

 

They returned to their rooms at the inn and packed. Xellos’ possessions were few, but were slowly gaining in size. He added Zel-chan’s storybook to the small bundle—a memento of their time in the village. Even if it had not been an entirely good experience, it had not been all bad. At the very least, it had brought them closer.

 

After a moment’s thought, he added the child’s clothes too. They had paid for them, after all.

 

Zelgadis packed his belongings beside him, looking very eager to move on. Xellos understood but did not share his feelings.

 

“I think I'll miss this place,” he admitted.

 

“Why?” Gourry wondered. “Zel's coming with.”

 

Xellos smiled at the blond, shaking his head. He wasn’t surprised that Gourry had gotten to the heart of the issue so quickly. “This is the longest I've spent anywhere.”

 

Zelgadis was surprised. “Really?”

 

“Yes. My master resides on Wolf Pack Island, but I've spent my life wandering, obeying her various orders.” Not that he had ever minded. It was just how things were.

 

“So you've spent a thousand years constantly on the move? Not even resting for a few days?”

 

Xellos smiled. “Mazoku don't need to sleep, Zelgadis.”

 

“Yeah, but still...”

 

“My life was not my own.”

 

“Now it is,” Zelgadis murmured, looking at him with meaning, his blue eyes shimmering.

 

Xellos smiled at him. “Yes, it is.” His life to do what he wanted. And, really, all he wanted to do was make Zelgadis happy—whatever it took.

 

“How does it feel to be not-Mazoku now, Xellos?” Gourry asked suddenly.

 

The question surprised him and Xellos answered it slowly, thinking about it carefully, not entirely sure he could describe it properly. “I am... smaller now. Before, I was a part of something large and powerful. At first I felt trapped.” He smiled brightly, having no regrets anymore. “Now I realize that in this form, I may be disconnected from what I knew, but I am connected to something else in return.”

 

“Connected?” the chimera echoed, not understanding.

 

Xellos winked. “I can't feel emotions anymore, so I suppose it's a form of compensation.”

 

To compensate for not feeling emotions anymore, his feelings for Zelgadis had become incredibly intense. Perhaps that was why he had been so desperate the past few days. He did not know for sure, and might never find out, but it was a theory.

 

Zelgadis blushed as he caught onto his meaning. “Oh.”

 

He looked so adorable that Xellos had to resist the urge to do something that would make him blush harder.

 

Lina yelled at them to hurry up, and they quickly finished packing. Xellos walked out with Zelgadis and Gourry, not looking back.

 

-

 

They wouldn’t reach the next village until the next day, so they made camp in the forest. The fire was kept low so as not to attract attention and they slept in shifts. Lina grumpily woke Zelgadis up for his watch around midnight and he reluctantly left his sleep roll.

 

Xellos slept peacefully between him and the fire place. Zel had placed them like this on purpose, wanting to keep the former priest as warm as possible—even in the summer, the forest was chilly at night. He sat there for a moment, watching the low glow of the firelight flicker on Xellos’ smooth, perfect features before shaking himself. He rose and stumbled over to the low flames, putting on a pot of coffee.

 

“It’s a nice night,” said Xellos.

 

Zelgadis jumped slightly, his assumption that Xellos had been asleep proven wrong. “Get some sleep,” he told him, mildly disgruntled. Even human, Xellos liked surprising him.

 

Xellos’ opened his eyes groggily. “I'll keep you company for awhile.”

 

The shaman sighed. Xellos had proven incredibly stubborn, and he was too tired to argue. “Want me to put tea on for you, then?”

 

Xellos slid elegantly out of the new sleep roll they had bought him and sat down beside him. “Yes, that would be lovely.”

 

Zel nodded and put water on to boil. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw something flicker in the firelight. He glanced over and saw that Xellos was fingering a stone in his hands. “Where’d you get that?”

 

“At the shrine,” Xellos answered, not guilty at all.

 

The only stones he had seen had been imbedded in the statue, and Xellos would have had to vandalize it to get one. Zelgadis sighed. “You'd better not let Lina see that. She'll kick your ass.”

 

“I will repay the Water Dragon Lord for this too. It's blessed, you know.”

 

Amused, Zel shook his head. “Well, definitely don't tell Amelia about it. She'd rant about justice for days.”

 

“It could be useful.”

 

The shaman didn’t bother arguing the point, or about Xellos’ apparent kleptomania. After all, as the Greater Beast’s priest, he had likely stolen countless Claire Bible manuscripts. Perhaps Xellos just didn’t see anything wrong with the theft if it was for his benefit. And, really, Zel had been guilty of similar things, not only in his quest for a cure, but as a bandit for Rezo’s cause as well. He set the tea to steep and poured himself a cup of coffee, forcing depressing thoughts of his grandfather out of his mind.

 

Xellos put the jewel away and looked upward at the stars twinkling through the treetops. “It’s a clear night.”

 

“Yeah,” Zel murmured, glancing up as well.

 

“On nights like this,” Xellos murmured conversationally, “the fairies would come out to sing and play in celebration of the moon. I suppose they still do, but their groups are smaller now...”

 

This surprised the shaman, who had thought he knew all about folklore of this sort. “I thought they were, well, fairy tales. I mean, I know there are elves, but fairies?”

 

Xellos nodded. “Of course, all the stories you've likely heard are made up. Any real ones have been lost.”

 

Zel leaned back against his elbows and stared at the stars. “I suppose that's true. Either that or they're twisted beyond recognition.”

 

He heard the smile in Xellos’ voice. “Yes. I wish I had some to tell you, but I had other things on my mind at the time. They were like pests.”

 

“How so?”

 

He looked as Xellos moved, swatting at a moth hovering near the flame, shooing it away. “Like this one. If you wandered into a certain patch of wood, they would stir up like mad hornets. “

 

“That's just a moth, though. What would they do?” he asked, wanting clarification.

 

“They bite.”

 

Zelgadis blinked at him. “Seriously? And they'd actually hurt you?”

 

Xellos nodded, surprisingly serious. “Very mischievous little things. We could never figure out why, but there was a discernible pinch on our astral bodies when they bit. Perhaps they had innate astral powers themselves.”

 

“Interesting. I doubt they'd be able to get through my skin, though.”

 

Xellos smiled fondly. “Probably not,” he said softly, lying down next to him.

 

“You've probably seen a number of interesting things over the years,” Zel said idly.

 

“Anything special you want to know about?”

 

He shrugged. “Not off the top of my head.” But later, when he did think of something, was a definite possibility.

 

Xellos hummed softly and placed his hand on Zel’s chest. He was startled, but after a moment he placed his hand over Xellos’. The closeness was very nice and he didn’t want Xellos to pull away.

 

He didn’t. In fact, Xellos drew closer, as though he was leaning in for a kiss. Zelgadis stayed very still, his heart beating faster.

 

Instead of a kiss, however, Xellos pressed their cheeks together and nuzzled. Zel closed his eyes and moved into the light sensation, pushing his disappointment down.

 

He felt Xellos press closer. “Zelgadis…”

 

Instinctively, Zel squeezed his hand, and was startled out of the drowsy pleasantness when Xellos made a soft sound.

 

“Did I hurt you?” he asked, immediately letting go of Xellos’ hand.

 

Xellos pulled back enough so that they could look each other in the eye. The former priest seemed startled. “No, my dear. It's just fine.” He smiled. “That was a pleased sound.”

 

Zelgadis blushed, both embarrassed and tentatively pleased. “Oh.”

 

Xellos kissed his cheek lightly, causing those pleasantly warm feelings inside Zel to surface, and he closed his eyes again, wanting to enjoy it. He felt another light kiss soon after, on the corner of his mouth, and inhaled softly. So close! It was as though Xellos were testing to see how far he could go. Zel didn’t pull away, hoping that was enough encouragement.

 

“Is this alright?” Xellos asked softly.

 

“Yes,” Zelgadis answered, very softly.

 

Then Xellos finally kissed him properly. It was soft on his surprisingly sensitive lips, much softer than the heated, forced kisses from a few days ago, and he could feel Xellos’ warm breath as the former priest breathed through his nose. He gasped and leaned in for more, slipping his arm around the other man and holding him close.

 

“Zelgadis,” Xellos whispered against his lips, and the sensation made Zel gasp again.

 

“Xellos.”

 

Xellos giggled and wrapped his arms around Zelgadis, startling him. He opened his eyes, he saw that the former priest was smiling and obviously happy.

 

He sighed, relaxed, a strange warmth flowing through him. He was almost… happy. He felt he could almost drown in this feeling of being cared for. Being loved.

 

“You're _supposed_ to be keeping watch,” a grumpy voice broke through the moment like a fireball.

 

Abruptly, Zel stiffened, surprised and embarrassed. He looked over and saw Lina glaring at them from her place beside Amelia.

 

“Lina-san,” Xellos murmured, a pout in his voice.

 

Lina scowled at them both. “We kind of have Mazoku after us. If they attacked while you two were... occupied, what would happen?”

 

Zel sat up with a blush. “Sorry, Lina.”

 

“Whatever.” She rolled over, putting her back to them and presumably going back to sleep.

 

Mortified and deprived of the softness of Xellos’ body, he needed something to do with his hands. Zel turned back to the fire and poured the former priest’s tea. But Xellos didn’t stay away for long and soon crept closer, leaning against his side. Hesitantly, the chimera slipped an arm around him and handed Xellos his tea.

 

Xellos smiled. “This is nice too.”

 

Zelgadis blushed again. It was, but after being caught once by Lina, he was wary. He really did need to keep watch. Xellos, also, really should have been asleep. Zel still worried about his health. At the same time, they hadn’t been alone all day and he craved the physical touch now. He’d never expected to need someone this much. It was the stuff of tawdry romance novels, not for him.

 

“What changed your mind?” Xellos asked suddenly.

 

About them having a relationship, Zel realized. He shrugged uncomfortably. “I told you I wasn't adverse. Just...”

 

“So you trust me now?”

 

Zel didn’t look at him—couldn’t, really, not while he remembered things from the last few days. “You... could've taken advantage of the situation in Sarta. Or found it amusing. You didn't.”

 

“I suppose so,” Xellos answered thoughtfully. “It didn't occur to me...”

 

“That’s why.”

 

“I see.” Xellos smiled, looking pleased, and he took a sip of his tea.

 

Zelgadis finished his coffee and sat the cup down. For a while they sat like that, simply enjoying each other’s company. When he finally looked at his companion, Zel noticed that Xellos’ eyes were beginning to droop.

 

He gently removed the cup of tea, nearly empty, from his hands. “You sure you wouldn't be more comfortable over there?”

 

Xellos shook his head, a sleepy smile on his face. “This is nice,” he murmured, leaning his head on Zelgadis’ hard shoulder.

 

Zel let him settle, watching as he soon fell asleep. Xellos seemed comfortable the way he was and the chimera let him stay there. He poured himself another cup of coffee, since he still had a while to go on his watch, and looked up at the stars again.

 

The fire crackled, crickets chirped in the distance, and Xellos breathed evenly against his shoulder. Zelgadis smiled softly, feeling for the first time in a long while that things might be alright after all.

 

 

TBC. Thanks for reading!


	12. Gender Curse! Xellos the Dragon Theologian?

-

 

Chapter Twelve: Gender Curse! Xellos the Dragon Theologian?

 

-

 

They arrived at the next village later the following day. It was smaller than the previous village, with more of an emphasis on farming. Zelgadis found the atmosphere – the feeling of community enriched by hard work – to be very peaceful. But more than that, there was something about the place that felt special, though he couldn’t place exactly why.

 

Instead of stopping for food like they normally did, they headed straight for the shrine. They didn’t know anymore about it than the last one, so Lina suggested that he and Xellos stuck to the back. Zelgadis was relieved by her suggestion, not at all eager to be subjected to another curse.

 

Xellos, walking beside him as they entered the shrine after the others, looked intrigued by the walls. “These drawings are strange.”

 

Zel glanced at them curiously. It seemed to be some sort of picture language. “Oh?”

 

“Yes.” Xellos pointed at the unusual drawings. “It almost looks like this woman is becoming a man. I must be reading it wrong.”

 

The chimera frowned, studying them curiously. He couldn’t remember seeing anything quite like them before, but they did seem to be telling some sort of story. “Maybe we should tell Lina.”

 

Xellos shrugged. “It could be nothing,” he said dismissively, walking in the direction the others had gone.

 

Zelgadis glanced at the drawings one last time, worriedly – these shrines were starting to make him very suspicious – before following. “Maybe.”

 

His suspicions were unfortunately confirmed a few moments later when Xellos called their attention to something else on the wall. A button. Before the rest of the group quite knew what was going on, before they could stop him, he pushed it.

 

A white light blocked Zel’s vision, then there was darkness. He woke a short while later to find himself on the floor.

 

Xellos had managed to land on top of him and a streak of red alerted Zel to a cut on the former priest’s forehead. Xellos must have cut himself on his wire hair. He cast recovery on the wound, feeling the familiar irritation with his body. The magical exertion made him feel even woozier than he had upon waking up, lightheaded, and he was glad he was already laying down.

 

“Oh dear,” Xellos murmured, his voice unusually soft.

 

“What?” Zelgadis was startled by the strange pitch of his own voice, higher than normal, as though the air in the room wasn’t quite right.

 

Xellos sat up slowly and the chimera noticed something wrong with the man’s chest immediately. It wasn’t until Xellos cupped two mounds through his shirt, groping himself, that Zel realized fully what was wrong.

 

He stared, shocked and blushing. He sat up and froze as he realized he was in a similar predicament. There was an extra weight on his chest, and he closed his eyes briefly, praying to any god that might listen, before looking down to confirm it. “No…”

 

“Oh dear,” Xellos said again, flushing as well. “The drawings on the wall were a warning…”

 

The drawings about people changing into the opposite sex. Zel hesitated a moment, horrified, before looking down the front of his pants to confirm the rest. He blushed harder. “Oh, hell no.”

 

Awakening near them, Lina gave a very manly wail, feeling her completely flat chest. “Oh my god! No!”

 

“Lina-san, what’s wrong?” Amelia’s voice cracked like a teenage boy going through puberty. Which she was now. Her shirt was now shockingly empty, missing the same as Lina.

 

“Xellos, I'm going to kill you!” the redhead yelled. “I mean it this time! How could you fall for something that you tricked _me_ with, idiot?! You –” She cut herself off as she peeked down her pants. “…Oh, that just figures.”

 

Beside her, realizing her own predicament, Amelia screamed in horror.

 

Gourry was confused, naturally. “What just happened?”

 

Xellos whistled lowly. “Naturally, Gourry-san is the bombshell...”

 

Zelgadis heard them, but was too busy silently wishing he were dead to care. “As if being forced to crossdress wasn't bad enough...” He just wanted to curl up and hide somewhere with his mortification.

 

Xellos apologized sincerely to everyone and, after assisting in helping Gourry remove his breastplate – which was squishing his rather large chest – suggested that they split up and try to figure out what happened.

 

“And figure out if it can be reversed,” Zel muttered, miserable.

 

Xellos rubbed his back, which he felt only dimly. His skin was as hard and insensitive to touch as ever. “We will. Zelgadis-san and I can remain here and see if the shrine holds any information...”

 

Dimly, Zelgadis realized what Xellos was doing. Getting Lina out of the shrine to cool off meant she would be less likely to kill the former priest. If it had been a few days ago, before Dynast’s attack, Zel might have felt the same. Perhaps his feelings were blinding him, but he didn’t blame Xellos. Even if it _was_ humiliating.

 

Even when the others left, Zelgadis wasn’t terribly inclined to move. Xellos remained beside him.

 

“Zelgadis-san?”

 

“I can't figure out if my life is a tragedy or a comedy,” the shaman said blankly, more to himself than his companion, not caring that he was going into shock.

 

Being a woman wasn’t a bad thing, apart from the fact that _he wasn’t supposed to be one._ Like he wasn’t supposed to be a chimera. This was like a sick joke, and if it wasn’t… Well, he hoped this curse wasn’t as long-lasting as Rezo’s. He’d seen how people had looked at him in Femille, and he certainly didn’t want to be in a situation where he’d be coveted as an object of sexual exoticism.

 

“Oh Zelgadis…”

 

Soft arms wrapped around him and Xellos held Zel as he went through his quiet freak out. It was Xellos’ presence, as he clung to the former priest’s changed body, that kept him from slipping further into himself. After a few long moments of deep breaths, he pulled himself together. Xellos was with him. They would get through this together.

 

“We need to figure this out,” Zel said in a stronger voice, though still feminine. “How to undo it.”

 

Xellos nodded, cupping his face gently. Zel focused on him much more clearly now, seeing that the man was still unbearably pretty as a woman. He was slighter, more fragile-looking, and the slight squareness that had been in his jaw was gone.

 

“Are you alright to move?” he – she? No, Xellos was still a man to Zel – asked.

 

Zelgadis nodded and stood with Xellos’ assistance, still very shaken. Xellos somehow supported him as they walked further into the shrine, seeing where the long pathway led, until they came to a door at the end of a dead end. It was, predictably, locked, and the only possible clues on how it might be opened were carved in an intricate-looking language that Zel didn’t recognize.

 

“Well, this is different,” Xellos murmured. “I can read ancient dragon.”

 

“What?”

 

Surprised, Zelgadis stood a bit straighter, his mind pulling itself together a little more. Now that he thought about it, these symbols did look quite a bit like the ones that had been on the tablets in the Temple of Sand…

 

Something bothered him, though, and it took him a moment to place the reason. When he did, he glanced at the former Mazoku reproachfully. “I thought you said you couldn't read dragon.”

 

Xellos glanced at him, looking confused for a second and then a bit embarrassed. “Well, at the time it went against my orders, Zelgadis-san. And Zelas-sama did want all of you to hurry up, and it was the most expedient way…”

 

“And destroying part of the dragon temple wasn't exactly a deterrent, I'm sure.”

 

Xellos grinned, then stroked his chin and leaned forward to read. “Built in Water Dragon Lord's name... all knowing and powerful, and so on... Those who wish to free themselves of our curse, come inside by giving our Lord's prayer.” His frown deepened. “Password protected. A bit cliché…”

 

“Do you know it?” Zel asked hesitantly, afraid of the negative.

 

Xellos sighed, which wasn’t at all heartening. “Yare yare. It's been a long time since I had to familiar myself with Shinzoku theology...” He looked around them, spotting more pictures on the walls. “Maybe there's a clue here.”

 

Zelgadis sighed, starting to lose hope. He very much hoped that they wouldn’t have to somehow get ahold of Filia. This was mortifying enough without her knowing about it or having to traipse across the continent as a woman. Even she might not know, given that she had been a servant of the Fire Dragon Lord, and hadn’t been alive back when there was a Water Dragon Lord to serve, anyway.

 

Xellos seemed to ignore him as he thought. Zel watched as he pulled the stolen jewel out of his pocket and compare it to one incrusted on the wall. There weren’t many, but there were a few more here than there had been at the last temple. “They’re the same. I wonder…”

 

Trailing off, Xellos returned to the door and placed his hands together in strange manner of supplication, murmuring something in a language that Zel had only heard a few times, spoken by the dragons.

 

 _Holy words,_ Zel realized with a start, almost not daring to hope. But it wasn’t a spell. Instead, it seemed to be a form of speech.

 

The door creaked open a crack, creating a gap wide enough to slip their fingers in. “Aha! Show generosity even to your enemies. A Mazoku would never have thought of it. Charming, really.”

 

“What’d you do?” Zel asked, truly curious. He was surprised by Xellos’ separation of himself from his former race, and he definitely wasn’t feeling up to exploring the possible implications of that.

 

Xellos smiled, idly fingering the jewel. “The bit about generosity. It's a lesson that the Water Dragon Lord taught his disciples. I merely said it in their tongue. Few Mazoku know it, but most who do aren't likely to know the teachings anyway. I only thought of it because the Water Dragon Lord has been very generous with me.” He pocketed the jewel again, looking quite smug.

 

“Oh,” Zel murmured, thinking it over. He supposed that Xellos having the stolen jewel meant, in some fashion, at least to the former priest, that he was being allowed to have it. Even more interesting, Xellos had also hinted that other Mazoku hadn’t felt the need to familiarize themselves fully in the Ryuzoku. But Xellos _had_.

 

One day, Zelgadis would work up the courage to ask Xellos what exactly he had done during the Kouma War.

 

“So this will be undone when we enter?” he asked, just to be sure.

 

“Or we'll find something to undo it.”

 

Together, they heaved the large door open. Xellos went through first, since the magic seemed to affect him less drastically, and was immediately enveloped bright, white light again.

 

Zelgadis winced, holding a hand in front of his eyes, trying to see what happened. When the light cleared, Xellos was lying, unmoving, on the floor.

 

“Xellos!” Zel cried, knowing better than to rush forward, though he wanted to. Seeing the person he was growing to care very much for prone on the floor filled him with horror.

 

He kept calling his name, fighting rising panic. At last, Xellos whimpered and stirred. “I’m alright… I think…”

 

“Did it work?” Zel prodded worriedly. “Should I come in?”

 

Xellos felt his significantly flatter, wider chest, then between his legs. “Yes, it worked.”

 

Zel stepped through and was quickly enveloped by the same light. He was out before he hit the floor.

 

When he woke, he was lying down again, this time flat on his back, though with his head pillowed on something comfortable – Xellos’ lap. The former priest leaned over him worriedly, one gloved hand pressed against his face, the other on his chest.

 

Zel darted his hands to his chest also, afraid, but sighed in relief when he discovered that all was indeed back to normal.

 

Xellos smiled fondly. “Yes, all is as it should be.”

 

The shaman sagged in relief, then belatedly remembered that his head was probably heavy, and his hair was likely not at all comfortable on Xellos’ leg. He sat up slowly, checking that his hair hadn’t cut Xellos again, and looked around. Apart from where they were sitting, the large room was piled from floor to ceiling with curious items. He couldn’t really process it.

 

“Where are we?” he asked, glancing at Xellos, who had shifted close again.

 

Purple eyes glittered. “Treasure room.”

 

“Seriously?”

 

Zelgadis took a second look, his head clearing a little, and this time he noticed the great number of bookshelves. With old books resting on them. Along the wall were also large chests, which would probably hold more traditional treasure, but Zel was more concerned about the books.

 

“Do you feel like exploring?” Xellos asked, mischief in his eyes.

 

Zel nodded. “Definitely.”

 

Tired or not, he knew this was an extraordinary find. He didn’t think about Xellos possibly destroying the Claire Bible if it was there—though he should have been. He just remembered his good feeling from earlier and wondered if this was why.

 

If it was there, then it could have his cure. If he was cured, he would no longer be manipulated by circumstance. He could be free, like Xellos was now. He wouldn’t be a freak, and he wouldn’t have to hide.

 

He could touch Xellos without worrying about hurting him.

 

Though he still felt weak from the spell, he forced himself to his feet and made a beeline for the nearest bookcase. He searched through the dusty, cracked spines, looking for familiar lettering, but he did not see the Claire Bible, unless it was written in a language he couldn’t read. Disappointment filled him; another setback. Oddly, he was so used to having his hopes dashed that it didn’t faze him for too long. Though he had to resist the urge to punch a hole through the wall.

 

If these weren’t the Claire Bible, then what the hell were they? “Xellos, can you read any of these?”

 

He looked over and saw Xellos crouched in front of a chest, a diamond-studded tiara perched on his head, dazzling in the firelight.  Zel snorted in laughter; Xellos made quite the untraditional princess after all.

 

Xellos grinned happily, as though making him amused was something to be proud of, and walked over. He looked at the book over Zel’s shoulder. “Oh yes. This is more of the same writing.”

 

“Anything useful?”

 

“Hm…” Xellos casually wrapped his arms around Zel’s waist and rested his chin on his shoulder. “This is one of the disciples' books. It appears to be an account of the war.”

 

Zelgadis was startled by the touch, but didn’t pull away. “Think it might have something we can use against the Mazoku?”

 

“That's highly likely. If not, it should be entertaining to read regardless. I will help you translate.”

 

He nodded. “Anything with the others?”

 

Xellos glanced at the shelves. “More chronicles, it looks like. They're all bound to be priceless. I don't see any books of spells though.”

 

Zelgadis sighed. “Alright. Let's see what else there is.”

 

Xellos kissed his neck softly before letting him go, returning to the chest to poke around the jewelry some more. The chimera had just moved on to other strange objects when Xellos caught his attention again, muttering something about craftsmanship. Looking back, Zelgadis saw that he was fingering an amulet. The slender chain was made of gold, and was adorned by a small red jewel. Any larger and the thing would’ve been tacky.

 

“Magical?” he asked.

 

“Very.”

 

“What’s it do?” It looked innocent enough, but considering it had Xellos’ interest…

 

But it seemed Xellos’ intentions were rather innocuous this time. “Amplifies magic. And if I combine it with the blessed jewel from the other shrine, it should be a protective charm as well...”

 

Zelgadis nodded and brought Xellos’ attention to the objects he had found. “I can't figure out what these things are.”

 

There were six of the small devices. They were black and triangular shaped, but not like anything he remembered seeing before.

 

“Ohh.” Xellos came over, his eyes wide with surprise. “It's been a very long since I last saw one of these. “

 

“So what are they?” Zel prodded.

 

“Believe it or not, these were Ryuzoku weapons.”

 

The shaman quickly became more interested. “Useful?”

 

Xellos curled a strand of his hair behind his ear. “Not in so many words... They had potential, but the dragons could never seem to work out some of the bugs.”

 

“Lina might like a puzzle,” Zel murmured thoughtfully.

 

Xellos agreed and took three of the devices, sticking them in his bag. After considering the rest of the room, they discussed taking the books a while before deciding to leave most of what they found in the shrine. It was secure and relatively close to the next few towns they were headed to next. It was far safer than any alternative at the moment.

 

Xellos took two books that looked like they had the most potential for information, placing them in his bag, which already looked full now. “They already have protection spells placed on them so they should survive leaving the room.”

 

“That's a relief.” The books were at least a thousand years old, after all. “Is there anything else in here that might be useful?”

 

Xellos looked around one more time. “I'm not sure. It could take days to go through it all. Even months, realistically.”

 

“You don't have that much time,” said a familiar, irritated voice from outside. “Because I'm going to kill the both of you.”

 

Before they could warn her, Lina stepped into the room and was transformed back into her normal, feminine self. And was even angrier. The treasure saved them, as it distracted her from killing them. Treasure usually brightened her mood.

 

Her eyes lit up with greed. “Mine! It's all mine!”

 

“Xellos is the one who found all of it,” Zel told her mildly. “He figured out how to open the door.”

 

Lina pouted. “Oh fine. Ours then.”

 

Xellos giggled. “Of course. I don't mind sharing.”

 

Amelia stepped inside and was enveloped in that same light, collapsing. “Ow!”

 

“Amelia!” Lina caught the younger girl before she hit the ground.

 

The princess smiled sheepishly. “It startled me, Lina-san.”

 

Surprisingly, Lina held her close, confirming quite a few suspicions that Zel had been keeping to himself for awhile. “Don't scare me like that.”

 

Amelia blushed. “Lina-san…”

 

After Gourry had also transformed back into a man and everyone seemed fine, Zelgadis relaxed fully. He looked at Xellos and gave him a mild look. “No more pressing random buttons.”

 

Xellos smiled awkwardly, a pretty blush spreading on his cheeks that made Zel’s heart speed up. “Right.”

 

Lina wanted to start checking out the treasure, looking much like a child in a toy shop. However, Zel wasn’t able to hide the fact that he felt ill, even with his interest in the treasure, so they did not have time to let Lina explore the room for herself just yet. He was starting to fade, and fast. They closed the door behind them, not wanting anyone else to come upon their find. Between Xellos and Gourry, they managed to get him to the nearest inn and into bed once rooms were paid for.

 

Once Zelgadis was in bed, Xellos gently removed his cloak, belts, and boots for him. Zel was too tired to be embarrassed and was simply grateful that the former Mazoku had become so thoughtful.

 

Naturally, Lina was already going through the loot in Xellos’ bag.

 

“You might be able to work out the kinks in those weapons,” Zel told her weakly. “Xellos said the dragons built them.”

 

“Dragon technology, huh?” Lina turned them over in her hands, her keen eyes already studying them.

 

Zel passed out abruptly and missed the rest of the conversation. He drifted in and out of deep sleep, having strange dreams he wouldn’t remember later, until he felt the gathering of power. He stirred to see Xellos sitting on the floor.

 

Furniture had been cleared and a circle drawn on the floor in chalk. Xellos sat in the middle, surrounded by symbols Zel didn’t recognize. In front of him were the amulet found in the shrine earlier and the jewel he had stolen from the previous village. Zelgadis, not wanting to distract him, watched silently.

 

As he chanted, power gathered around the items. They lifted up off the floor, as though of their own volition, and hovered in the air, glowing. Zelgadis watched, fascinated, as the strands of magic from each entwined. Obviously Xellos was recovering well and his skills as a sorcerer were going to be quite formidable if he could do something this intricate.

 

Once they were combined, the shape of the necklace changed slightly, growing smaller and taking on the appearance of a dark red marble that shimmered in the candlelight. Xellos caught the amulet when he finished, smiling smugly at his accomplishment.

 

Zel couldn’t blame him. “The magics strengthened as they wove together. Interesting.”

 

Xellos’ smile grew. “It's a variation of a spell Lina uses to combine inferior jewels.”

 

The tired shaman yawned. “Makes sense.”

 

His eyes were starting to drift closed again when bed dipped as Xellos sat down. He felt the chain of the necklace clasp around his neck. “Sleep,” the former priest murmured.

 

Zelgadis was surprised. “That should be yours, Xellos. You need it.”

 

“They are after you too, Zelgadis,” Xellos reminded gently.

 

“I know that, but my defenses and magical capacity are already boosted, Xellos. Yours aren't.”

 

“But…”

 

He could see that Xellos was going to be stubborn about this. Zel took the necklace off and slipped it around Xellos’ pale neck, fumbling with the clasp for a few seconds. “Please.”

 

Xellos’ shoulders sagged in defeat. “If you wish it.

 

He brushed the man’s soft cheek with his fingertips, worried that Xellos might take it the wrong way. “I do.”

 

Xellos seemed immediately placated by the touch, leaning into it. “Alright. I will wear it always.”

 

Zel smiled slightly, too tired to ponder this reaction, eyes drifting shut tiredly. He wrapped an arm around Xellos’ waist and pulled him close gently. Xellos didn’t fight him and he fell asleep against his warm body.

 

-

 

Xellos woke him when it was time for dinner. Zel groaned as he sat up. He was still exhausted, though a glance at the horizon proved he had slept for almost the entire afternoon; it was almost sunset. He knew it would worry Xellos if he neglected food for more sleep, so he made himself get up. The table was already set up, his plate prepared for him.

 

“What have you been doing?” he asked.

 

“Reading.” Xellos had a book open at the table so he could apparently keep reading as he ate. He seemed engrossed in it – normally lately most of his attention had been on Zel – but the chimera didn’t mind this so much. As long as he still ate, that was the main thing.

 

In fact, he was too tired to really care much at the moment, and simply finished his meal without any attempt at small talk. It was only after he finished that he decided to find out what had happened while he slept. In any case, it was possible that Xellos or Lina could use his help with something.

 

“Any news from Lina on those weapons?” he asked around an exhausted yawn.

 

Xellos shook his head, nibbling on a slice of bread. “Gourry-san came in once and said she was still sitting there, staring at them and muttering to herself.”

 

Zel smiled slightly. “On the bright side, that means she hasn't blown us all up yet.”

 

Xellos gave a soft laugh. “Indeed.”

 

“Anything useful in there yet?” Zel asked, meaning the books.

 

“It can be very long-winded and it occasionally states the weakness of Mazoku, but they're all things I can tell you on my own.”

 

“So far, somewhat useless, then.” Disappointing but not entirely unexpected.

 

Xellos turned a page in his book. “Somewhat. “

 

Zel gave up on pretending he wasn’t still exhausted, feeling a bit useless. “Thanks for ordering dinner. I think I'm just going to go back to bed.”

 

Xellos finally looked up, expression apologetic. “I'm sorry. Yes, you need to rest.”

 

This startled Zel. “Sorry for what?”

 

“For not being more sociable this evening.”

 

He shrugged. “It's fine. We need to figure out a way to fight the Mazoku more effectively. If I could help with those books, I would.”

 

“I know.” Xellos set the book down. “Come. You need your rest.”

 

Zel got up and grabbed a pair of inn-provided pajamas from the dresser. Xellos turned away to give him some privacy, but he was still far too shy about his appearance, so he changed in the bathroom like usual.

 

“It looks like clouds are rolling in,” he heard Xellos say from the other room. “We may get a summer storm.”

 

He exited the bathroom and hung his clothes up to keep them from getting too wrinkled. “That might relieve some of the heat and make travel easier on you.”

 

Xellos smiled sheepishly. “Yes. I'm still getting the hang of it.”

 

Zel sat down on the bed, yawning again. “It's not a big deal.”

 

The other man sat beside him. “You're very patient with me.”

 

He looked away. “I remember how difficult it was to get used to a new body,” Zel reminded him softly.

 

“Zelgadis…” A pale hand, sans glove, touched his cheek gently.

 

Zel looked at him and smiled honestly, not wanting him to worry. “I’m fine.”

 

“I’m glad.” Xellos tugged Zelgadis gently down onto the bed and pulled the covers over them.

 

Zelgadis relaxed next to him, closing his eyes and enjoying the feel of the light warmth Xellos’ body radiated. The former Mazoku seemed to adore his touch and was surprisingly cuddly—though Zel wasn’t quite sure if this was just how Xellos was, or if Xellos was cuddly because of Zel’s feelings for him. Whatever the case, his heart swelled with affection for the other man.

 

They seemed to come together easily, already comfortable with each other, and were soon kissing. Though the contact was light, there was none of the hesitance from the night before in the forest. Still, the contact was tender. Xellos hummed, seemingly happy with contact, and Zel found it rather pleasing as well. Xellos hadn’t bathed, and his skin smelled slightly musky, masculine, with the lingering scent of last night’s campfire and a bit of sweat from their travels. He pulled Xellos closer, hooking his hand around the small of the former priest’s back, rubbing the gentle curve as he concentrated on the sensations, breathing him in.

 

Xellos’ breath picked up. He could feel it just slightly against his face, and the fragile fingers petting the finer hair wires on the back of Zel’s neck. Xellos purred, his lips vibrating against Zel’s, making the chimera shiver. Tiredness forgotten for the moment, Zel wrapped his other arm around Xellos, fingering the ends of his soft hair.

 

He was surprised when he felt Xellos’ tongue brushing the softer skin of his lips, parting his lips instinctively to the silent request. Xellos deepened the kiss and Zelgadis shivered at the sensation and responded in kind.

 

Xellos’ hands started to explore his body, and he shifted to partially lie on top of him. Zelgadis broke away for a moment to catch a quick, shaky breath before resuming their kissing, caressing Xellos’ body in return, careful to keep his touch gentle.

 

Xellos giggled breathlessly into his mouth. His hands, miraculously, as they explored, found the places on Zel’s body that were still sensitive. He jerked slightly when Xellos caressed his hip.

 

“Feels good there?” Xellos asked. He had pulled back slightly, but his lips were against Zel’s and the sensation of his breath was wonderful. “I want you to feel good.”

 

“Xellos,” he managed to gasp, face heating up. He didn’t think he could say it, so he tugged Xellos down for another kiss to answer his question.

 

Xellos gave a cute, happy noise against their joined lips and slid his leg between Zel’s. He froze as Xellos’ knee brushed his groin, surprised. His heart was beating in a different way, in panic instead of arousal.

 

They weren’t just kissing. They were doing this, taking it further, and it was too much, too—

 

“Too fast,” Xellos murmured, shifting his leg away slowly.

 

Panting, Zelgadis nodded. “Sorry…”

 

Xellos shook his head, understanding smile in place. “Mm. Don't be. This isn't scripted. We can make our own pace, together.”

 

The shaman nodded, grateful that Xellos wouldn’t try to force him like before, that he could hold himself back if he wanted. He brushed his fingers against Xellos’ cheek, eyelids drooping; even if he had been ready, he didn’t think he had the energy for that.

 

Xellos mewed softly. “I've kept you awake long enough. Sleep.”

 

Zel let his hand stray into the hair behind Xellos’ ear. “Are you going to do more reading tonight?”

 

“Oh, that feels nice...” he answered breathlessly before clearing his throat. “Most likely.”

 

Zel blushed lightly at Xellos’ little moan and closed his eyes. “Okay.”

 

He curled closer to Xellos’ warmth and drifted off easily, mind and body at ease.

 

-

 

Xellos had to leave the warm nest of blankets and snuggly chimera in order to fetch his book and light a candle. But he returned quickly, not willing to be too far from him.

 

He wasn’t offended that Zelgadis had frozen up, merely concerned. He didn’t want to push things too far again before the shaman was ready. He didn’t want to do what he had nearly done before.

 

When he climbed back into bed, Zelgadis immediately snaked an arm around his waist, pulling him closer in his sleep, leaning his head against Xellos’ side. Xellos had to smile at the possessive gesture, even if Zelgadis’ elbow was resting against his groin. After a moment, he was able to concentrate, for the most part, on the book, and only absently petted his sleeping beauty’s wire hair. It was hard not to look down at him occasionally, since Zelgadis was so adorable.

 

Gourry came in quietly, looking as though he had just gotten out of the bath, his long hair still damp. “How’s he doing?”

 

Xellos didn’t take his attention off the page. “Fine. Sleeping.”

 

“Good.” He could hear the smile in Gourry’s voice. “He looked like he needed it. I wonder why those spells are affecting him like this.”

 

“It's something to do with Rezo's magic, which isn't something he likes to talk about in general.”

 

“So this magic messes with Rezo's magic,” the blond murmured thoughtfully. “I wonder what that might mean.”

 

Xellos blinked, looking up in surprise. He must be getting slow – he hadn’t bothered to think about _why_. “Yes. It must mean something, mustn't it? Zelgadis has had magic cast upon him before and has never reacted so severely, aside from the Ra Tilt incident the other day. I wonder if it's because of the Ryuzoku magic...”

 

Gourry yawned and sat on his chair. “Well, I'm sure you guys'll figure out what it means. It's just a little strange.”

 

“Indeed.” Xellos glanced down at Zelgadis, worried, his mind working fast. Disturbing theories were forming in his mind, theories that made his fingers move of their own accord, stroking the chimera’s brow as though comforting him. He needed confirmation. “Is Lina-san still awake?”

 

Gourry shrugged. “I passed them on my way up. She and Amelia were going to get a bath. They're probably still down there.”

 

“I need to speak to Lina-san.” Xellos gently slid out from under Zelgadis’ arm. “If he wakes, tell him I'll return soon.”

 

After pulling the blankets around the sleeping shaman more snugly, Xellos grabbed his staff and rushed downstairs to find their resident sorcery genius.

 

-

 

TBC. Thanks for reading! Remember to review.


	13. A Shard of Shabranigdu?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, we’re aware that we’re using “Water Dragon Lord” and “Aqua Lord” at the same time.

-

 

Chapter Thirteen: A Shard of Shabranigdu?!

 

-

 

Normally, Xellos considered himself a very polite man – he had, in fact, perfected a version of politeness for the sake of annoying people. But desperate times called for desperate measures.

 

He ran into the ladies’ side of the bath without a second thought. With no thought, really, but that Zelgadis might be in danger and Lina Inverse was the only person he could possibly go to with this worry.

 

Lina stared at him in shock. Amelia gasped and ducked almost completely under the water to hide, spurring Lina to action. She grabbed a towel, clutching it to her chest and attacked. “FIREBALL!”

 

Xellos dodged, rolling along the surface around the bath. “Lina-san, this is serious!”

 

She glared at him without remorse. “I don’t care! _Flare Arrow!”_

 

He erected a shield, having no patience or interest in playing with her, like he usually would. “It concerns Zelgadis-san.”

 

The sorceress still looked quite murderous, but concern flashed through her eyes. “I'll meet you in the restaurant in five minutes. Now OUT!”

 

Resisting a strong, childish urge to roll his eyes at the dramatics, he walked out and headed for the restaurant, finding an empty table. Lina joined him after a few minutes, fully dressed, and immediately grabbed a waiter so she could order a snack. “Okay. WHAT?”

 

Though it was tempting to criticize her behavior, right then he had other concerns. She was no longer a child and talking down to her wouldn’t get him anywhere. And, anyway, he had walked in on her naked – not that he hadn’t been perfectly capable of spying on her before if he’d wanted to – and that had a tendency to bother humans. It bothered Zelgadis, certainly.

 

Xellos sipped his tea and got straight to the point. “This magic is reacting to Rezo-san's curse in a way that regular spells don’t. There has to be a reason for it.”

 

Lina stared at him as though she hadn’t really expected his reason to be that serious, her anger fading into interest. “Huh. I hadn't thought about that.”

 

Xellos nodded, leaning across the table toward her, troubled. “Neither had I. Gourry-san pointed out the obvious.”

 

“He does that sometimes, doesn't he?” She looked as embarrassed for not noticing as he felt.

 

“Yes.” He closed his eyes briefly before looking at her, serious. “We need to find out why and try to avoid putting Zelgadis in such a situation again. Next time, it could put him to sleep forever.”

 

Lina winced, seeing the problem. “Damn. What could be causing it?”

 

Xellos allowed a helpless shrug. “Rezo-san’s spell work was superior. He had an apt mind and his power was backed up by the soul trapped in his eyes.”

 

“A shard of Shabranigdu,” she murmured, curling her hand around her chin, considering. “And this is the magic of the Water Dragon Lord...”

 

“I wasn't present when he died, but the Aqua Lord was able to seal Gaav-san into a human body as well as imprison Lei Magnus-san – then possessed by Lord Ruby Eye – into a block of ice.”

 

It only occurred to him a second too late that he had just blurted out one of those things he had long kept secret. Not that it mattered anymore, really, but there were likely certain things the Mazoku wouldn’t want humans to know about. He was going to have to be careful with the knowledge he carried, if he survived this.

 

Lina stared at him in open surprise. “Lei Magnus... was possessed by Shabranigdu?” Shaking her head, she put this aside and got back to the problem at hand. “Well, he died fighting Shabranigdu. Maybe his magic is reacting to Rezo's curse because of Shabranigdu's magic?”

 

Xellos blinked, having not thought of that. “I suppose so. If your Aqua-baasan were still around, we could ask her.

 

She sighed. “If that's the case, there's not much we can do. We don't know how much Rezo's curse depended upon Shabranigdu's power. Even Zel's magic might be an issue.”

 

He nodded. “He'll hate being kept out of our search, but we'll need to be even more careful.” The former priest flashed a sheepish grin at her. “Of course, me saying that may be slightly ridiculous. Since it was me that pushed the button, I mean.”

 

Her glare quickly returned. “Don't remind me.” She sighed, relenting somewhat. “Frankly, you're lucky he didn't pass out before you found that cure.” The food arrived and she dug into it with zeal, talking between bites. “He didn't look so good when we got there.”

 

Xellos flushed guiltily, not needing the reminder. He was putting all of them at risk just by staying with them instead of giving himself up to die. And now Zelgadis was reacting poorly to a spell from a trap he had sprung. His tea was getting cold but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

“Yes…”

 

“Still,” Lina said around her food. “If we hadn't found out now, he might've been hurt even worse later on.”

 

He wasn’t comforted.

 

“Anyway, that's only one option. The other could be that it's trying to undo his physiology with these, since they affect the body. Rezo's curse might be too strong for that. We can't really tell for sure yet.”

 

Xellos frowned thoughtfully. “Not really, no. There are few who could, and they're dead.”

 

“Aqua-baachan,” Lina murmured sadly. She even paused in her eating.

 

Xellos felt a twinge of guilt for this too, having forgotten that humans had a different perception of death. For having known her for such a short time, Lina had gotten attached to what had remained of the Suiryuu-ou.

 

“You couldn't have helped her,” he told her, knowing that he couldn’t change how she felt about it. Just as he couldn’t change how he himself felt about Zelgadis. “That part of the Water Dragon Lord's personality existed for so long was a miracle in itself.”

 

She nodded and, seeming to get over it for the moment, resumed eating. “Stop blaming yourself for the button. You have human nature now, too, Xellos.”

 

He flushed. “Yes…” A human who would always have a unique perspective of the world. He’d never really fit in, so he was lucky he had friends who similarly stood out.

 

Lina shrugged. “One of us would've pressed it if we'd seen it, if only because it could have been the trigger for a door or something.”

 

Xellos blinked at her. In her own way, Lina was trying to offer comfort, though she really had no reason to go out of her way to do so. Like most things, she probably did it because she felt like it; though he doubted that with his track record, he’d done a whole lot to garner sympathy. Perhaps it was just something he didn’t understand. He still wondered why she and the others had wanted to help him in the first place, other than mutual survival.

 

Shaking himself from his thoughts, he stood. “I should be getting back.”

 

“Zel still sleeping?”

 

Xellos smiled at little, involuntarily, just thinking about how adorably open and vulnerable the chimera looked when he slept, even as an adult. “He was when I left him.”

 

Lina sighed again. “That spell really took a lot out of him. Whatever the reason, we're definitely going to have to be more careful.”

 

He nodded and bowed slightly. “Pardon my intrusion earlier. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”

 

She waved him off, clearly no longer angry. “Well, I can see why you needed to talk to me right away. Oh, we should probably keep him away from those weapons, too. Just in case.”

 

“Of course. Thank you.”

 

Xellos was partway up the stairs again when she heard her shout at the waiter who came for the check, forced to pay for it herself since Xellos had no money. He stifled a laugh and retreated upstairs.

 

Gourry was asleep as well when he returned, snoring softly in a chair by the window. Zelgadis had shifted in his sleep and was now curled around himself slightly. Smiling fondly at the sight, Xellos slipped back into bed and picked up his book to continue reading.

 

-

 

Zelgadis stirred as the soft light of dawn filled the room. He glanced at the warm body beside him to find that Xellos had fallen asleep reading, the large book open in his lap, sitting up in sleep. Shaking his head fondly, Zel gently removed the book and placed it on the nightstand before pulling Xellos down slowly, holding him.

 

Xellos was soft and warm in his arms, and it felt absolutely wonderful to have him so close. Zel felt that ‘approaching happiness’ feeling again. He watched the sun rise, rubbing Xellos’ back lightly, until the former priest’s sleepy nuzzling alerted Zel that he had awoken.

 

“Good morning.” Xellos’ voice was muffled against his shirt.

 

Zel smiled down at him. “You fell asleep reading.”

 

“Mm. No wonder I dreamed about dragons.”

 

He couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “You can sleep a little longer. You must have been up late.”

 

“I'm not sure what time it was.” Xellos sleepily nuzzled around one of Zel’s nipples.

 

The sensation, though muffled by the fabric, was still enough to send a spark of pleasure through him, straight down to his toes, making Zel gasp. He arched his back, seeking more instinctively, his hands tangling in Xellos’ short, soft hair.

 

He caught a glimpse of a mischievous smile before Xellos blatantly mouthed the rocky nub through his shirt, getting his nightshirt wet. Zel didn’t care. He closed his eyes and focused on how it felt, his breathing becoming a little unsteady.

 

Xellos moaned softly against his chest and the sound made him shiver. He was so focused on his – was it appropriate to call Xellos his lover? – that he completely forgot about the third party in the room until the floor creaked.

 

Zel stiffened at the noise and looked, finally noticing Gourry. He had been trying to quietly creep out of the room, it seemed.

 

Xellos, pouting, lifted his head. “Sorry, Gourry-san.”

 

Gourry flashed them a thumbs-up, smiling through discomfort. “I'll just go change in the baths. No big deal.” He grabbed his clothes and left quickly.

 

Zelgadis had rarely been so mortified. Naturally, Xellos took it in stride, and proceeded to nuzzle his cheek sweetly once Gourry was gone.

 

“I forgot he was here.”

 

The chimera swallowed hard. “I did too. Damn.”

 

“It’s alright,” Xellos assured, rubbing his arm soothingly.

 

Zel sighed, letting the touch calm him. “At least it wasn't Lina,” he said, trying to find the bright side, and winced. “Again.” He resumed petting Xellos’ hair absently, which also helped his mood.

 

“Yes.” The sigh was almost a moan as Xellos cuddled closer.

 

Zel smiled slightly. Xellos was cute – always had been, in his own frightening, powerful way. As a human it was more pronounced, somehow more natural. He caressed his back gently, tracing muscles and spine.

 

“I do wish we could have more time alone.”

 

He sighed. “Under the circumstances, I really doubt that's going to happen.”

 

Xellos’ pout returned. “Seems that way.”

 

“In any case, Gourry doesn't seem to mind giving us privacy for the moment,” Zelgadis whispered meaningfully, blushing.

 

Purple eyes blinked, confused, before understanding dawned and a slow smile formed. “Oh. Seems that way…” Zelgadis blushed deeper and the smile widened. “But if you want to get up instead...”

 

“I’m not in any hurry,” Zel murmured softly. He refused to be afraid of this, even if he was a little anxious.

 

Xellos grinned impishly and licked one of the stones on Zel’s face. The chimera turned Xellos’ face gently toward his before kissing him.

 

He was nervous, blushing, and fumbling; this was the first time he’d ever done anything like this, but Xellos was wonderful. He didn’t seem to mind taking things slow or gently guiding him along, and he didn’t push things too far.

 

“Only touching for now,” Xellos said softly.

 

His touch was almost more than Zel could bear. It felt almost as though he was going to leave his own body, and he was surprised when Xellos seemed to enjoy his own rougher touch. When they were done, only their shirts had been removed, and their hands were a little sticky, but Zelgadis felt fantastic.

 

Xellos panted softly as he caught his breath, his hair scattered against the pillow beneath his head. There was a light blush on his cheeks and his eyes were glittering. He looked so beautiful that Zelgadis almost suggested they do it again.

 

He might have if he’d had more confidence. As it was…

 

“Did I hurt you?” Zel asked softly.

 

Xellos’ smile was bright and content, and he leaned up to kiss the concerned chimera. “You did not. Your skin feels unusual, but not unpleasant. I like how you feel.”

 

Zelgadis blushed, not sure what to do with his hand. He certainly wasn’t going to wipe it on the sheets.

 

Xellos noticed and giggled. “Now, clean up.”

 

“You can go first,” he said, sitting up with a slight smile, seeing some of the amusement.

 

“Alright.” Xellos slid out of bed and handed Zel a box of tissue. “Use that for the meantime, dear. I won’t be long.” He took his clothes and slipped into the bathroom.

 

Zel wiped his hand off with one of the tissues and stood, looking out the window at the sunny day outside. He smiled slightly, feeling himself bordering on true happiness for the first time in forever.

 

It wasn’t just the hand job or the interesting things Xellos had done with his mouth, though they had been very nice. It was knowing that they could have a somewhat normal relationship, that they really could and were going to do this. Even with his body being what it was, it could work.

 

Xellos emerged from the bathroom, clean, dressed, and still smiling. “All yours.”

 

Zel fought a strong urge to pull Xellos close again for a kiss. He grabbed his own clothing and, blushing, slipped into the bathroom.

 

When he came back out, he was greeted by the sight of a made bed and Xellos standing in the spot he’d vacated by the window. He looked content but still a little tired. Zelgadis realized, too late now, that he should have made Xellos sleep, not given in to his flirtations. Even if it had been wonderful, Xellos needed rest.

 

“How much of that book did you get through before falling asleep?”

 

On cue, Xellos yawned. “Nearly to the end.” He reached for Zel and pulled him close, cuddling.

 

Zelgadis blushed and wrapped his arms around him in return. “That boring?”

 

“Yes. It's an interesting record of events, but the writer keeps going off into tangents. There's some mention of the shrines, but not enough to go on. Then there's some mention of the weapons, but nothing to help Lina-san.”

 

He became a little distracted by Xellos’ hands as they wandered. Zel hyperaware of his touch now. He resisted the urge pull him back to the bed. “Do you think the other books might be more helpful?”

 

“Possibly. Some were written by different disciples, so I'm hopeful...”

 

Then, Lina’s voice sounded from outside the door, in the hallway. “If they're making out again, I swear!”

 

Xellos twitched visibly. “Lina-san…”

 

Zelgadis let go and moved a few feet away from him as Lina banged on the door, embarrassed. Xellos let her in with a sharp smile.

 

“You two weren't busy in there, are you?” the redhead asked suspiciously, eyeing them.

 

Zel couldn’t find his voice or look at her, so he focused on Xellos instead.

 

The look Xellos gave her was dangerous and more like his former self. “No. But if we had been, we wouldn't be having this conversation, Lina-san...”

 

Her look rivaled his. “Well, then, you'd better come down for breakfast and talk about what you found in those books.”

 

Zelgadis blushed slightly from Xellos’ casual comment, and headed toward the door. He could almost sense Xellos following him, his warm presence only a few feet behind him. Lina came downstairs after them, muttering under her breath, which they both ignored.

 

Once their entire group was seated and food was ordered, Xellos told Lina the same thing he had told Zel earlier. “I can translate the parts about the weapons anyway, if you like.”

 

Lina pouted, disappointed at not getting more info. “Better than nothing, I suppose.”

 

“I will read the other books, of course. Also, you might not have noticed, but there was an assortment of swords in there as well. Gourry-san should choose one.”

 

Gourry brightened, instantly focusing on the conversation. “Really?”

 

Xellos nodded. “An extraordinary swordsman needs an extraordinary sword, Gourry-san. Especially now. I would suggest Zelgadis take one as well, but...”

 

Zelgadis frowned at the hesitation. “But what?”

 

Xellos and Lina exchanged a meaningfully worried look and it was Lina that answered. “It may not be safe.”

 

He glared at them, wishing they would just spit it out. He was a little hurt that Xellos would keep something secret from him, yet would tell Lina first, especially since it clearly had something to do with him. “And why’s that?”

 

“Er, well…”

 

When she didn’t continue, Xellos spoke, delicately. “You seem to react badly to the Water Dragon Lord's magic, Zelgadis.”

 

They were worried, obviously so, and Zel had to resist the urge to yell at them. He tried to keep his voice calm as he responded. “If it did, that amulet would've hurt me, Xellos. It didn't.” Lina had her occasional stupid moments, of course, but that this had slipped Xellos’ mind was frustrating.

 

Xellos blinked, a hand covering the amulet underneath his shirt almost absently. “Oh, yes… I'd taken for granted that while my magic is in it, it's still based on what Aqua Lord's servants created.” He smiled sheepishly. “I'm sorry, dear.”

 

Zel blushed slightly at the endearment and ignored the little twinge of happiness it induced. “Whatever messed me up in those shrines isn't that.”

 

“It could just mean that the magic reacts directly and hurts him,” Amelia spoke up hesitantly, “while the artifacts don’t.”

 

“Which means that the swords are fine.” Zelgadis studied Xellos and Lina. They still looked troubled, and it was clear there was more to this than just the swords. “What aren’t you telling me?”

 

Lina gulped a little. “Well, that was it really. Gourry said something to Xellos, who then dragged me out of the bath and expressed his concern about your reaction to the magic. We decided that it'd be best if we were all more careful from now on.”

 

He focused his suspicion on her, increasing her discomfort. “And? What about my reaction to the magic? You're being far more vague than usual, Lina.”

 

The redhead glanced at Xellos for help, but he seemed to be avoiding her gaze now, which worried Zelgadis. If it bothered Xellos this much…

 

She sighed. “We thought it meant that it was the Water Dragon Lord's power reacting to not just Rezo's magic, but the shard of Shabranigdu that was inside him. Perhaps some of that leaked through to his magic when it happened.”

 

Zelgadis could only stare at first as the true horror of that idea sunk in, then he schooled his features to a carefully blank look, unwilling to let his emotions show. No wonder Xellos hadn’t wanted to say anything.

 

“So what you're saying is that I might...” The words seemed to lodge in his throat, making it difficult to breathe.

 

“You are not a shard,” Xellos broke in firmly. Zel focused on him, in the certainty of his voice, and tried to believe him. “Some of it may have leaked through, or it's reacting for a different reason. We do not know for certain, Zelgadis.”

 

Zelgadis cursed softly, trying not to freak out, since it would only worry the others more. “Damn him…” Swallowing hard, he tried to pull himself together. He had the feeling, from Xellos’ concerned look, that he wasn’t entirely successful. “Now what?”

 

“We keep researching and looking through the loot.” Lina scarfed down her food as soon as it was sat in front of her, complaining loudly to the waiter about their wait.

 

Zel ignored this and picked at his food, no longer hungry. He knew he should eat, but he doubted it was a good idea with his roiling stomach. If he ate, he’d likely be sick, and the others were worried enough about his health. Amelia expressed concern over this but assured her he was fine.

 

Xellos was not as easily assured. “You should eat, Zelgadis.”

 

The chimera glanced at him, tried to smile reassuringly, but uttered failed. “I'm not very hungry.”

 

“Alright.” Xellos touched his shoulder comfortingly. “Maybe you’ll feel better for lunch.”

 

Zelgadis shrugged in answer and regretted it when Xellos seemed to take that as rejection, immediately removing his hand. He seemed to become even more worried, and pushed his own plate away. The chimera didn’t get the chance to make him eat before Lina spoke again.

 

“Well, we should get back to the temple after breakfast and go through some of the rest of the loot – Erm, artifacts.” She looked at them, considering. “If you guys are done, why don't you go ahead?” She flagged down a waiter. “Another!”

 

Zelgadis wasn’t fooled – she was sending them ahead to give Xellos a chance to talk to him in private. He didn’t know how to feel about that, or what could possibly be said to make this better.

 

Xellos agreed to it, though Zelgadis wasn’t sure if he had picked up on the maneuvering or not. They left the inn and went to the market first so that Xellos could buy notebooks and pens. Zel watched him choose the items he needed and paid for them without a word. He received a subtle touch on his arm in thanks and he managed a weak smile in return before he led the way to the shrine.

 

Once they were inside, Zelgadis felt an arm hook around his own and leaned into Xellos gratefully, basking in the touch. “Let’s open up that room and start researching,” he whispered.

 

Xellos nodded and, when they reached the door murmured the phrase from before. The door was easier for them to tug open today. Perhaps it was just that it had been closed for so long, or maybe Zel had felt the effects of the spell more than he’d realized.

 

The former priest cleaned off an ancient stone bench before he took a seat. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Zelgadis shook his head, not entirely surprised by the question, but pained. “Not really. I just... I hope you're wrong about this.” Reacting to the Water Dragon Lord’s magic had dire implications, and he felt sick even thinking about it.

 

“I hope so too.”

 

Zel sat down next to him with a sigh, leaning against him lightly as Xellos put an arm around him.  “I didn’t think this could get any worse,” he confessed softly.

 

Xellos’ hold tightened, and he pressed a kiss against his forehead. “I shouldn't have said anything without knowing for certain. I'm sorry.”

 

He shook his head. “It's probably better if I know that it's a possibility.”

 

Xellos continued to cuddle him. “Perhaps the Claire Bible will have some answers.”

 

“Maybe.” But it was doubtful.

 

He tried not to think too much, because inevitably his mind went to the worse case scenario: that he was a shard of Ruby Eye and the life he could have with Xellos would evaporate. He’d have to be sealed away or killed for the good of the world. That wasn’t something he wanted to face; he had finally found happiness and Rezo was ruining it again.

 

They sat there, Xellos holding Zelgadis comfortingly, petting his back while he tried to keep himself from falling apart. They stayed that way until Lina’s arrival startled them.

 

For once she didn’t tease them. “It's not the only option, Zel. Just one of them. It could just be that these spells are trying to undo what Rezo's spell did to your physiology, and his spell is just too strong. After all, they've concentrated on messing with our bodies, right?”

 

He nodded slowly, thinking that over, and Lina surprised him by stepping forward to place a hand on his shoulder.

 

“So you're not allowed to give up, okay?” she prodded, smiling, and he nodded a little more firmly.

 

“Okay.”

 

Amelia stepped forward, giving him one of her confident, ever-hopeful smiles. “We’ll figure things out.”

 

Gourry was right behind her. Even though they were worried, they were still smiling, still trying to help him feel better. It reminded him that, again, he wasn’t alone anymore.

 

He nodded again, drawing strength from them. “Right.”

 

Soon after, Gourry drew his attention to the magical swords, and Zel gratefully allowed himself to be distracted.

 

-

 

Xellos watched Zelgadis walk to the other side of the room with a fond smile. He wasn’t surprised when Lina spoke up again once he was out of earshot.

 

“He's not taking this well, is he?”

 

Xellos shook his head in answer, not sure what else to say.

 

“You'll take care of him, right, Xellos-san?” Amelia asked worriedly.

 

Finally looking at the girls again, he offered a reassuring smile. “I hope I can, Amelia-san.”

 

Lina whacked him hard on the back. “Alright, let’s get working!”

 

Xellos flew forward, landing in a pile of ancient yet thankfully sturdy pots. He would probably have a bruise later, but otherwise he was unharmed. “Oof! Ahaha… Of course, Lina-san.”

 

“Okay, Xellos?” Zelgadis asked solicitously from the sword rack.

 

Xellos sat up and waved. “I’m fine!” If he did have a bruise, he’d have to hide it from the chimera. No sense in making him worry more, Xellos reasoned.

 

Thankfully, his chimera’s attention was drawn back to the swords, choosing one for Gourry first. There were spells on it that wouldn’t need casting, so the blond wouldn’t have to remember any complicated chaos words; there was a mechanism on the hilt that would enable it for use against Mazoku. Gourry would have to practice with it to be sure how useful it would be.

 

The sword utilized air magic, and when Lina commented that it was perfect for Gourry because he was an air head, Zelgadis snapped, claiming he was in no mood for “goofing around” as he put it. Xellos was concerned but did not interrupt them, watching from the corner of his eye.

 

Zelgadis examined the rack carefully before choosing one for himself, finding it interesting because it was somehow infused with Holy magic. This got Lina’s attention, and Xellos decided to distract her from, he was sure, economic fantasies by giving her two notebooks to start taking inventory with.

 

“You're kidding!” she groaned. “All this?”

 

Zelgadis took a notebook and pen for himself. “I'll work with the weapons over here with Gourry.”

 

Xellos smiled happily. The chimera seemed to be doing better with things to focus on. “Thank you, dear. Lina-san, taking an inventory of our discovery is very important from an archaeological standpoint.”

 

The redhead groaned again. “You're interested in that NOW? After destroying stuff like this for a thousand years?”

 

“Destroying the Claire Bible copies was necessary, as this is.”

 

“Amelia, work with Lina on that jewelry,” Zelgadis broke in as he scribbled on his book. “Make sure she doesn't steal any of it.”

 

Amelia agreed, and Lina continued to grumble – now about not being able to have any of the “loot” – as Amelia pulled her away. Xellos sat down on the floor in front of the bookcase, making notes as he read, listening to the others as they worked. Zelgadis and Gourry did fine, of course, but the girls…

 

“I'll bring the jewels to you, and—”

 

Amelia smiled knowingly. “Oh, no, Lina-san. I'll bring them to you. To make sure none go missing in transit.”

 

Lina pouted. “Aw, Ame-chan,” she whined cutely, batting her eyelashes in what was supposed to be a demure manner. On Lina, it didn’t look demure at all, and it had no effect on Amelia.

 

Amelia’s puppy dog eyes, however, definitely defeated Lina. “You would steal from Aqua-baasan?”

 

“Urk.” She sighed. “Alright. We'll do it your way. But I'd better get something in return.”

 

Amelia only smiled widely in answer. Xellos hid his own smile when Lina turned bright red, pleased that their relationship seemed to be going so well.

 

He read for the rest of the morning and on into the afternoon, not even pausing to eat the packed lunches the others had brought with them, and he took a number of the books with him to the inn that evening.

 

He was still going over the books at dinner, and he noticed Zelgadis adding notes to his inventory while they waited for their food to arrive.

 

“I don't know all the enchantments. Are we going to figure that out, or no?”

 

“If you like,” Xellos answered absently. “Primarily, you might focus on the sword you've chosen. For the moment at least.”

 

“They're all interesting, really.” He could hear the scholarly fascination in Zelgadis’ voice.

 

The others conversed about what they had found, Lina once more complaining about not being allowed to keep any of the gems, this time grumbling about Xellos keeping the necklace he had converted into a charm. For the most part, Xellos tuned them out, focusing on his work, until Zelgadis spoke to him softly.

 

“Better than the other one?”

 

Xellos smiled, glancing up shortly. “A little. I never thought I'd be so bored by descriptions of battles. There's little detail and they all sound the same, and there's so many of them...”

 

“Weren't you involved in some of them?” Lina asked, sounding tired. She had clearly lost her argument about the gems.

 

“Mm-hm.” He grabbed one of his notebooks and held it out to Lina, opened to a certain page.

 

“Page 95,” she read aloud. “Xellos' first appearance. Page 105, Xellos destroys another fleet. Page 278... Page 309... Okay, I get the idea.” She pushed the book away.

 

“You're actually tracking how many times they mention you?” Zelgadis asked incredulously.

 

Xellos blinked, realizing belatedly how egotistical that seemed, and how that wasn’t really his intention anymore. Had he been Mazoku, he might have actually lamented that he hadn’t done enough damage to be the subject of an entire book – and not entirely jokingly, either.

 

“I note a lot of different things,” he assured him, handing Zelgadis the notebook to inspect.

 

The shaman flipped through the pages, seemingly surprised even more. “Mentions of Dynast... Dolphin... An itemized list of their servants with specific attacks? That's all in there?”

 

Xellos nodded. “I'm also comparing the events from this book with the others to see if they differ as well as for any mentions of the Claire Bible or these shrines.”

 

Lina emitted a low whistle. “That's detailed. How about the weapons?”

 

“Page numbers as well as what it says about them.” He showed her the notebook again. “Sorry if you can't understand my shorthand.”

 

Lina glanced through it more properly this time. “Pretty typical sorcerer shorthand. Might have to ask about some stuff, but I can mostly read it.”

 

Xellos smiled and returned to his reading. He mostly ignored his food, eating only occasionally, until Zelgadis gently plucked the book from his hands.

 

“Eat now, read later,” the chimera admonished.

 

Xellos blinked at him. “But this needs to be done, and there's so much of it...”

 

“Which you won't get done if you don't take care of yourself.”

 

He sighed, rubbing his unusually dry eyes, and supposed Zelgadis was right. He acquiesced and offered a tired smile as he reached for more food.

 

“And you're actually getting sleep tonight,” Zelgadis added in a rather bossy tone.

 

Lina prodded cheekily for more details and Xellos, sheepishly, was forced to admit that he had stayed up reading the night before in order to avoid an innuendo. Which he did solely for Zelgadis’ benefit, since he knew it made him uncomfortable.

 

“And you're not staying up again,” Zelgadis said in that same tone.

 

Xellos pouted a little. “If that's what you want, dear.”

 

Zelgadis blushed and Lina latched onto both that and what he had said. “Dear? That's the second time I've heard him call you that, Zel.”

 

The shaman sipped his coffee, taking a moment to compose himself. “Oh? And what is Amelia going to give you in return for not stealing?”

 

Lina, embarrassed that they had been overheard earlier, quickly dropped the subject (for the moment). Xellos smiled and patted Zelgadis’ arm under the table.

 

The chimera smiled slightly at the gesture. “Eat. You didn’t have any lunch.”

 

“I ate a sandwich. Kind of.” But Xellos ate obediently.

 

“A few bites that I made you eat doesn't count as a sandwich.”

 

He smiled sheepishly and continued to eat, realizing exactly how hungry he was. Zelgadis seemed satisfied, even going so far as to order another of the same for him.

 

Xellos flushed, mind immediately going to his weight. He was human and had to be careful, even though he was hungry enough to eat more.

 

“You missed lunch,” Zelgadis reminded again, sternly this time. “You don't have to eat all of it.”

 

“Alright.”

 

While it had been his original intention to look after Zelgadis, it seemed that his lover would look after him in return. This sense of equality warmed him more than anything, even though – or perhaps because – it was alien to him. Mazoku “relationships” had no such sense of equality. There was a master and the servant, never equal partners.

 

Zelgadis flipped through Xellos’ notebooks as he ate his second helping. His interest gave Xellos an odd sort of pride in his work, though he couldn’t identify why exactly.

 

“Are you going to choose a weapon from the cache, or just stick with magic?” Zelgadis asked.

 

“I may, if something stands out,” Xellos answered between bites.

 

“We've nearly finished with the catalog. You can look through it at some point.”

 

Xellos smiled. “Thank you, dear.”

 

He noticed that Lina was looking at them, covertly and suspicious, but decided not to mention it. He knew she was wondering about their relationship, and wondered if she would approve of it. The idea that she wouldn’t bothered him more than he wanted to admit.

 

When Xellos finished eating and gathered up his books, Zelgadis expressed some weariness over working again the next day, and he announced, placating, to the group that they could take a break instead.

 

Lina immediately began to make plans to lay siege to the restaurants in town. Gourry and Amelia seemed keen on the idea of an all day eating fest, but Xellos wasn’t.

 

Xellos gave Zelgadis a coy look. “I think I’ll stay and do some more reading. In bed.”

 

The chimera blushed and glared at him. For a moment, it was just like old times, and Xellos could almost imagine what his embarrassment tasted like. He smiled innocently and bid them goodnight, heading upstairs with the books and notes.

 

 

TBC. Remember to review!


	14. The New Wish? In Other Words I Love You

-

 

Chapter Fourteen: The New Wish? In Other Words I Love You

 

-

 

Zelgadis watched in frustration as Xellos disappeared upstairs with a slight sashay of his hips that no normal man should have. But Xellos had always been far from normal.

 

“I'm going to go check out those restaurants with Lina and Amelia,” Gourry announced with a smile.

 

Zel sighed. “Go for it,” he said, rising. “I'll go over Xellos' notes and see what's useful. Want me to write a key for the shorthand that differs from normal, Lina?”

 

“Sure, thanks.” The redhead patted his arm lightly as he walked passed, surprising him. “See you in the morning?”

 

He smiled. “Sure. Going to start off with breakfast here?”

 

“Then second breakfast somewhere else.”

 

The chimera shook his head, fondly amused. He was surprised she didn’t get indigestion sometimes. “Alright then.”

 

He bid goodnight with a wave of his hand and went upstairs to the room he shared with Gourry and Xellos, finding the former priest there already, reading in bed by the light of a small, flickering candle.

 

Zelgadis’ irritation came rushing back. “Could you not make innuendos, please?”

 

Xellos flushed ever so slightly and smiled. “Ah, sorry. It just came out.” He didn’t look particularly apologetic though.

 

Zel sighed and hung up his cloak while he tried to explain. “I just... want what's private to stay private. Please.”

 

He looked back just in time to see Xellos’ smile falter and fall away, purple eyes stormy as they focused very pointedly on his book. “Alright.”

 

Zel frowned at him. “What?”

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

“You’re sure?” he prodded, concerned. The look on Xellos’ face was starting to remind him of a few days ago when he had still been denying the possibility of a relationship.

 

Xellos only nodded, his long fingers tracing the spine of his book absently.

 

Zelgadis backtracked over what he had said. He had chided Xellos over making their relationship public—Ohh. Did Xellos think he was ashamed of him? _Blast._

 

He took the book away and sat it on the nightstand so that Xellos couldn’t hide behind it anymore. “I just like my privacy, Xellos,” Zel assured gently, brushing his fingers over Xellos’ cheek. “That’s all.”

 

Xellos’ eyes widened, giving himself away. “... Have my thoughts become so obvious?” he whispered.

 

Zel shrugged. “To me, a little.”

 

The former priest’s smile was soft and embarrassed. “Oh my.”

 

He leaned in and kissed his embarrassed smile lightly, literally able to feel it as Xellos relaxed again. Xellos responded and for a few wonderful seconds that was all they did before Zel made himself stop, pull away.

 

“I seem to recall you didn't sleep much last night,” he said. “You need to get some rest. You haven't been sleeping consistently since the curse.”

 

Xellos’ sigh was heavy with disappointment, likely having hoped that they would just keep kissing, and possibly do other things. The idea made Zel feel a little hot all over, but he resisted the temptation.

 

“I suppose it's healthier to have a consistent pattern...” He sounded like he was repeating something he had heard once.

 

“It is. Lina wants to have breakfast with us tomorrow morning, before they all go restaurant-hopping for the day.”

 

Xellos smiled fondly. “First breakfast?”

 

He chuckled. “Knowing Lina and Gourry, the first of many, yes.”

 

“If they were short and had furry toes, I'd call them Hobbits...”

 

“What?” Sometimes what Xellos said—especially when he was joking—referenced things that Zel had never encountered, and this seemed to be one of those times.

 

“Fictional creature from a book I read once.”

 

“Ah.” Zelgadis changed the subject. “Are you going to take a bath before bed?”

 

Xellos fingered a strand of hair before wrinkling his nose delicately. “I probably should, before I start to smell too bad. I’ve come to realize that humans smell even when they’re clean, but it’s just something I’ll have to live with.”

 

Of course Xellos would be fastidious about smells. “You don't smell bad,” Zel assured him “Just human.”

 

Xellos smiled as though it were a compliment, kissing his cheek. “I'm just getting used to it.”

 

Zel shrugged, embarrassed. “Before you just smelled like magic. It's certainly different.”

 

“Oh?” Xellos asked, cuddling close for a moment.

 

“Yeah.”

 

He could see from the look on Xellos’ face that he hadn’t missed the admission that he’d taken the time to pay attention to his scent before. He rather hoped the former Mazoku didn’t pursue it.

 

“Hmm.” Xellos finally nuzzled him briefly before pulling away. “I should at least wash my hair. It's oily again.”

 

Zelgadis kissed him quickly before he got too far. It was silly, but he almost wanted to demand that Xellos remain and had no idea where this sudden clinginess came from. “I'll go through the rest of your notes while you're gone, then.”

 

Xellos left with a smile after one last caress and Zelgadis got ready for bed before sitting down in front of his lover’s notes. He read through it with some interest, mildly curious about the events of a thousand years ago that had led to Xellos’ birth, marking the places where he could not read the shorthand.

 

The other man returned after a little while, dressed in pajamas provided by the inn, drying his hair with a towel. “Mm, that was lovely.”

 

Zelgadis looked up, unable to help but smile when he saw him. “Good to relax for a while?”

 

“Very.” Xellos sat on the bed and began working his brush through his hair.

 

Zelgadis watched him, mesmerized by the action. Somehow, he found everything Xellos did fascinating. He also, absently, wondered where Xellos had gotten the brush, as he didn’t remember buying it for him, yet he’d had it for awhile. Amelia had probably given it to him.

 

“Gourry still down there?” he finally asked.

 

Xellos nodded. “For the moment. He stayed down there late last night.”

 

Zelgadis blushed. “I figured he was giving us some privacy.”

 

“Oh, I’m sure.” Xellos finished brushing his hair and set the brush aside. Zelgadis took this as permission to sit beside him on the bed, leaving the notes on the desk.

 

Xellos pressed close to his side, and Zelgadis relaxed at this sign of clinginess, glad he wasn’t the only one. He gently tugged Xellos into lying down next to him in bed, reaching over to pinch out the candle.

 

Xellos reached for that hand, kissing his fingers, which were probably smoky and a little warm. Zelgadis ran the fingers of his other hand through Xellos’ hair, which was starting to dry.

 

Hearing a happy sigh come from his lover, Zelgadis couldn’t resist leaning in and seeking a deep kiss. Xellos responded, moaning into his mouth, and Zelgadis had to firmly remind himself that the man was tired. He gently pulled back, brushing Xellos’ cheek with his fingertips as he pouted. “Get some sleep.”

 

Xellos may have been a little disappointed, but he didn’t complain. “Alright.”

 

Zelgadis pulled him close, possessively, against his chest, smelling the sweet clean scent of Xellos’ hair and caressing his back. He focused entirely on Xellos, feeling his breathing even out in slumber before falling into a peaceful sleep himself.

 

-

 

He never heard Gourry come in, but he did hear him the next morning when the blond got up, changed in the bathroom, and headed out—all quiet so as not to disturb them. Zelgadis stirred but stayed still, not wanting to wake Xellos, but the former priest woke regardless.

 

“Need thicker curtains,” Xellos murmured in complaint, hiding his face against Zel’s chest.

 

The chimera yawned. “We're supposed to have breakfast with Lina, anyway. We can sleep afterward.”

 

Xellos nuzzled his chest before sitting up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes adorably. “Alright,” he agreed softly. “Good morning.”

 

“’Morning.” Zelgadis sat up as well, smiling gently at his lover. He really couldn’t help the happiness he felt, and he could have listed the reasons but they really boiled down to one person: Xellos. “Go ahead and change.”

 

“Alright.” Xellos kissed him softly, also seemingly unable to help himself, and slid gracefully out of bed.

 

Zelgadis stretched as he waited, his skin creaking a bit, as he watched Xellos slip into the bathroom. He could hear Xellos brushing his teeth inside, and he reemerged from the small room dressed and ready for the day.

 

Violet eyes glanced out the window. “The clouds are much thicker today. We're definitely getting a storm soon.”

 

Zel rose and opened the window, letting in a cool breeze. It blew the musty air out of their rented room effectively, leaving the scent of fresh moisture in its wake. “It might storm today, from the smell.” He grabbed his clothes and went into the bathroom to change.

 

“That’ll be good,” he heard Xellos say through the door.

 

He cleaned up a little, dressing as well, and walked into the room to find Xellos looking curiously up at the dark clouds rolling in. “Xellos?”

 

“Hm? Oh, I'm sorry. Just thinking.”

 

The chimera wrapped his arms around his lover from behind. “About what?”

 

Xellos leaned back against his solid frame. “I've always thought storms were interesting. Rain feels nice too.”

 

Zelgadis kissed the back of his neck, trying not to think about it. He hadn’t felt the rain since his transformation. With his stone skin it didn’t even make him cold, though he’d found out the hard way that his hair rusted. Xellos could feel it, but he couldn’t, and he changed the subject before jealousy could replace his happiness.

 

“Ready for breakfast?”

 

Xellos shivered and nodded, walking close behind him as they descended the stairs.

 

“By the way, I marked places where Lina might have trouble with your shorthand. I'm not done yet.”

 

Xellos smiled. “Thank you.”

 

He shrugged. “Your shorthand is a bit archaic, is all.”

 

The former priest’s staff tapped softly on the wooden steps as they walked. “I appreciate any help. Don't be so hard on yourself.”

 

Zel smiled slightly. “I just prefer to be of more use, is all.”

 

Xellos kissed his cheek. “You are very helpful to me, all the time.”

 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, ducking his face.

 

They joined the others at their table and took some food for themselves while they still could. Lina’s red eyes were narrowed, as though she suspected something, but all she said was, “Good morning, you two.”

 

Zel nodded neutrally in greeting. “Did you ask around about the town's restaurants yet?” If Lina didn’t want to talk about what was on her mind, then he wasn’t going to pry.

 

“Yeah! Sure you two don't want to come with us?”

 

He shook his head. “I’m sure. My body doesn't require much food, and I don't like to overeat.”

 

Xellos covered his mouth with a napkin, swallowing before speaking. “I still have much work to do, Lina-san.”

 

Amelia frowned at him. “Xellos-san, you should relax today as well!”

 

Xellos gave his uncomfortable laugh. “I'm sure Zelgadis will insist on it, actually. He can be quite firm.”

 

“Oh really?” Lina pressed with a devilish smirk.

 

But Xellos told her the truth, without insinuating anything. “Oh yes. Last night he made me take a bath and go straight to sleep instead of read. Though he was probably right to do it...”

 

Zel shrugged, a little embarrassed. “You're not used to human limitations.”

 

“That’s true.”

 

“Someone has to make sure you don't make yourself sick trying to do too much.”

 

Xellos smiled fondly, bringing his tea cup to his lips. “You’re volunteering?”

 

Zel’s lips twitched at the smile and the tone, but didn’t chide Xellos for flirting. “I've been doing it.”

 

“Zelgadis-san is so nice,” Xellos said, far too cheerfully—so much like his old self that Zel almost expected a prank.

 

“Zelgadis-san's kind heart truly shines through!” Amelia chimed in.

 

“Yes!”

 

Zelgadis sighed and focused on his own meal, since it was probably better just to ignore it. He promised Lina that he’d look over their notes some more while she was gone, though she hardly paid him any mind by this point, lost in her meal. Xellos, it seemed, started to daydream as he ate, which was almost as bad as reading while he ate.

 

After a little prodding, he found out that they planned to visit a sushi restaurant for lunch, a local delicacy made with freshwater fish from a nearby lake, which seemed to draw Xellos back to reality, somewhat.

 

“Mm, sushi…” He was eating already, but he sounded like he’d much rather have that instead, and there was a dreamy smile on his face.

 

Zel hesitated. He really didn’t want to go out, but he wanted Xellos to be happy. “Maybe we could meet them for lunch.”

 

Xellos smiled at him, eyes bright. “Or we could order sushi here.”

 

“Well, the innkeeper said that place is like the best one in town,” Lina said. “If you tip a maid enough, they might go get some for you...”

 

Zel surreptitiously checked his money purse. “That might be doable.”

 

He was going to have to do something to get more funds soon, though. He’d never known being in a relationship would cost so much, financially—though he’d bought clothing for Xellos because he’d needed it, not as a gift. Still, it wasn’t an inconvenience.

 

“Thank you, dear,” Xellos said happily.

 

Zelgadis blushed at the endearment.

 

Xellos was yawning by the time he finished his breakfast, and murmured something about taking a shower to wake up.

 

Zel frowned. “We're mostly relaxing today. If you want to sleep more, you should.”

 

“As you wish,” Xellos replied with a flush.

 

There it was again. Xellos was being far too obedient, and Zel thought it was more than just Xellos not finding a reason to disagree. Maybe he _wanted_ orders? That made him more than a little uncomfortable.

 

He kept silent until the others were gone and they were upstairs again, sitting down at the table in their room with a sigh.

 

“You don't have to take a nap if you don't want to, Xellos. I'm not trying to boss you around.”

 

Xellos blinked at him, setting his staff against the wall. “I wasn't taking it as such, Zelgadis.”

 

He looked out the window, sighing. “I just don't want you to think that you have to do whatever I wish.”

 

Xellos walked up behind him, wrapping slender arms around his chest. “Having freedom is a little unusual for me, and I know I can do whatever I want, but I think I would appreciate being ordered every once in awhile. I’m not a Mazoku now but it’s still in my nature. I suppose I’m a little submissive that way, but it’s nothing to be concerned about. It’s not an obligation; I think I actually need it, at least every now and again. If it doesn’t make you uncomfortable?”

 

He frowned. He thought it’d feel better knowing the truth behind Xellos’ complacency, but instead it troubled him even more.

 

“I don’t know… You know how long I worked for Rezo.” Xellos nodded and Zel continued awkwardly. “I would’ve done anything for him. Almost did. And he could’ve easily taken advantage of that. I don’t want to do that to you.”

 

“Almost did?” Xellos sounded worried.

 

Zelgadis squirmed uneasily. Admitting the truth out loud wasn’t easy. “It never mattered that he was my grandfather. I would've given myself to him.”

 

Xellos hugged him closer. “But he never took advantage of that.”

 

Zel shivered, though he wasn’t cold. Now, after everything, he couldn’t believe how naïve he had been. “No, but I wanted him to. I fancied myself in love with him and I'd imagine him... ordering me to bed.”

 

“Ours is a different relationship, Zelgadis,” Xellos said softly.

 

“Different how? You want me to order you around.”

 

“You would never hurt me,” he said, smiling.

 

He blushed. “Well, no, of course not...” He certainly wasn’t Rezo. “What kind of orders would I have to give?”

 

Xellos nuzzled his neck, and though he couldn’t really feel it, the Shaman appreciated the gesture. “Only small things. Telling me to go take a bath, for example.”

 

Zel smiled slightly. “Or remind you to sleep?”

 

The former Mazoku grinned. “Exactly.”

 

He relaxed a bit and leaned back against him. “Alright.”

 

“You’re very dear to me,” Xellos whispered, kissing his neck.

 

The chimera relaxed even more at his words and as Xellos began rubbing his shoulders as hard as he could. It couldn’t have been easy, Zel knew his skin wasn’t pliable, but Xellos was getting stronger and he could feel the pressure. When Xellos stopped, he brought one of his hands forward, kissing it in thanks.

 

Xellos kissed the top of his head with a giggle and Zel pulled his unresisting body around and into his lap, where they could kiss properly. He gasped at the pressure in his lap and kissed Xellos until they were both breathless.

 

Xellos giggled again as he panted.

 

Zel rubbed his back idly, busy staring up into dazed violet eyes, content to hold him for the moment.

 

Those human eyes fluttered closed as Xellos laid his head on Zel’s shoulder, facing toward the bed. Zel kissed the back of his neck, relaxing.

 

“Am I heavy?” Xellos asked, and Zel wasn’t surprised to hear him yawn.

 

“Not at all.” Zel stood with him in his arms, easily carrying him to bed. “How about you take that nap?” He meant for it to come out as an order, but it came out as a question.

 

Xellos flushed, the red cheeks standing out sharply against the white pillow cover. “Alright. But later we spend time together?”

 

He smiled and lay down next to him. “Of course.”

 

Xellos seemed quite happy with this and curled up beside him as he fell asleep. Zel petted his hair idly, waiting until he was sleeping deeply before getting up to retrieve Xellos’ notebooks. When he sat back down on the bed, he went through the rest of them and marked them for Lina.

 

Xellos’ handwriting was a bit archaic, beautifully ornate, probably because he had learned to write a very long time ago, the same with the shorthand. Zel spend a few moments just staring at the pages and admiring it, wondering how many other things he still had to discover about his lover. He couldn’t wait to learn more.

 

When Xellos awoke again, he nuzzled Zelgadis’ arm sleepily.

 

He smiled at the cuteness and set the notebooks aside. “Want me to order lunch?”

 

“Did I sleep that long?” Xellos asked instead, rubbing his eyes.

 

“A few hours. It's probably around eleven now. You needed the sleep, I'm betting.”

 

“I suppose so.”

 

Xellos cuddled closer and Zel really wasn’t in a hurry to get up. “We can order later if you're not hungry.”

 

Xellos moved partway on top of him at that statement. “Oh?”

 

“Yeah.” Zelgadis blushed as he put his arms around his boyfriend.

 

“Mm. Well, I am hungry, but not for food.”

 

Zelgadis blushed deeper.

 

“But if you don't want to...”

 

Zel watched him in silence for a moment, but realized he didn’t want to make Xellos wait anymore. He wanted this. He pulled him down for a deep kiss in answer.

 

Xellos emitted a squeak of surprise but relaxed into the kiss.

 

“I’ve just never…” Zel tried to confess when they parted again, blushing, but he was too embarrassed to actually say it.

 

Xellos nuzzled his cheek. “It’s alright, really. We can do whatever you want.”

 

“I... I've never... I don't...”

 

“Shh.” Xellos rubbed his shoulder soothingly. “I know, Zelgadis. It’s okay. We can still just touch, like before. It won’t change my feelings.”

 

Zelgadis was very embarrassed and was trying to hide it. “I'm not... adverse. I just don't know much about...” Fucking. Sex. Making love. He couldn’t make any of those words come out.

 

Xellos tilted his head thoughtfully. “Oh, I suppose that would be a problem. I can tell you about it.”

 

He blushed even harder, not at all comfortable talking about it. It was worse than ordering Xellos around.

 

“Or I can show you,” Xellos whispered impishly.

 

Zel gulped and nodded, his voice hoarse. “Alright.”

 

They drew closer, kissing and touching more, and the chimera quickly forgot to think as Xellos proceeded to show him what he knew.

 

-

 

Xellos went slow, treating Zelgadis with care, especially as it became apparent that being completely naked embarrassed the Shaman terribly. He tried to put all his love into the contact and his assurances, saying, “I like how you look.”

 

“I don’t,” was the boy’s very soft reply.

 

Simple, to the point, but it still broke his heart every time. Xellos went back to distracting him.

 

He pulled the blanket up over their heads, making an impromptu tent to make Zel feel more secure, and kissed his way down Zel’s body slowly, slowly, moving between his legs. He breathed hot air over Zel’s length before he licked, tasting him. Zelgadis shuddered underneath him and gripped the bed sheets. Xellos wondered absently if they would rip and took him fully into his mouth.

 

Zelgadis, still very inexperienced, was soon trembling and it wasn’t long before he came. Zelgadis then wrapped a hard-skinned, wonderfully textured hand around Xellos’ length to reciprocate after he encouraged him, much to his delight. It didn’t take him long either, as he hadn’t been human for very long. He wasn’t used to such limited senses, and felt so much more in each of them.

 

As he caught his breath, he felt Zelgadis rest his head against his shoulder. Smiling, Xellos wrapped his arms securely around his chimera, cuddling. “Zelgadis…”

 

Zelgadis kissed his skin lightly. “Hm?” He sounded almost asleep.

 

“I…” The words caught in his throat. He was human but he still couldn’t say them, and he hated himself for it. He wanted to tell him, knew he deserved it—maybe even need it—but he couldn’t.

 

“Me too,” Zelgadis said, surprising him.

 

Xellos started in shock, becoming fully awake. Zelgadis couldn’t have known what he meant to say, could he? He was half asleep, spent from their activities. He couldn’t!

 

“Xellos?”

 

He rubbed the chimera’s back soothingly. “Sleep.”

 

“’Kay.” Zelgadis rubbed his rough cheek against his shoulder before he settled, breathing slowly becoming soft and even.

 

Xellos held him, staring up at the ceiling, no longer tired. It bothered him in a way he couldn’t really describe, that he couldn’t say the words yet Zelgadis thought he heard them anyway—and reciprocated! He should at least be able to say them.

 

Zelgadis stirred after an hour, lifting his head. “Hey.”

 

Xellos tried to smile back. “Hello.”

 

The smile fell. “What?”

 

He sighed heavily. “It’s nothing. I’m being silly again.”

 

He received a chaste kiss. “About what?”

 

Xellos hesitated but decided to answer. “It's only that... before you fell asleep, you said you did too. Only I never finished what I was going to say.”

 

“I assumed…” Zelgadis looked away, swallowing thickly. “What were you going to say?”

 

Oh dear. Now Zelgadis thought he’d meant something else! Xellos wasn’t sure if that was better, but from the look on the youth’s face, it wasn’t. “I do,” he said, blushing. “What you assumed.”

 

Zelgadis looked relieved. “Good. I meant it.”

 

“But, why?” After the things he’d done, he hardly thought he was exactly a catch. He almost feared that Zelgadis loved him solely because Xellos felt as strongly as he did.

 

The chimera rested his head on his shoulder, not looking at him. “Did you ever wonder why I was so angry with you after we met?”

 

Xellos frowned. “Well... I suppose I assumed I was just very good at making you angry.”

 

“No. After Rezo, I swore I would never let myself fall for anyone. Ever again, no matter what. But I couldn't help it.”

 

It took a moment to realize what he was saying. “All this time?” Xellos gasped, awed.

 

Zelgadis nodded. “I tried really hard to hate you instead. Tried to stay away from you.” A soft chuckle. “That didn't work very well.”

 

He smiled faintly. “Somehow I feel I should apologize for that... I just couldn't leave you alone.”

 

“I'm glad you didn't,” Zelgadis confessed softly.

 

Xellos swallowed hard. “I didn't quite understand what I was feeling back then. It took a long time.”

 

“I know. Mazoku aren't supposed to feel like that, are they?”

 

He shook his head. “No. It's why I couldn't stop myself after my change, I suppose. I've wanted you for so long, and then to suddenly have all this freedom... It's so overwhelming.”

 

“Is that why you don't want to change back?” Zelgadis asked, looking up at him with a hesitant expression.

 

The former Mazoku looked away guiltily and didn’t answer. He’d already made his case, but if Zelgadis still wished him to go back…

 

Zelgadis cupped his chin, making him look back, meet sky blue eyes. “Then we'll fight them.”

 

Xellos stared at him for a moment, speechless. “But you said earlier I should go back.”

 

“If you go back, this will end, won't it?”

 

Xellos blinked. There was an undercurrent of sorrow in Zel’s voice that made him want to hold him close and never let go.

 

“It would not change how I feel about you. Not one bit. But... Yes. Perhaps we could be together in secret, occasionally. Not like we are now. You also wouldn't be able to trust me, nor would I ask you to.”

 

Zelgadis’ hesitance was gone, replaced with a more familiar resolve. “Neither of us would be happy with that.” He smiled a little. “And I... kind of want that happy ending now.”

 

Xellos smiled brightly at the words. He felt like he could fly without a spell, without being a Mazoku, and hugged his lover tightly, relieved and happy. “Oh, me too. Thank you, Zelgadis.”

 

He would fight, claw or crawl, suffer anything, to give Zelgadis that happy ever after.

 

 

TBC.


	15. Not Again! Intimacy Interrupted, Part Deus

-

 

Chapter Fifteen: Not Again! Intimacy Interrupted, Part Deus

 

-

 

“Oh, me too. Thank you, Zelgadis.”

 

Zelgadis was relieved as well, relaxing with his lover in his arms. A hope for the future was building inside him and he could no longer picture tomorrow without Xellos beside him. It still seemed a little unreal, that Xellos truly felt this way. But something had been allowed to change within the chimera. He wanted to believe. He wanted to believe!

 

He got dressed shortly after so he could order the sushi, though he was still far too shy to do so in front of the former Mazoku. When he emerged from the bathroom, Xellos was changing the sheets on their bed. He was also still very irresistibly naked. Zel stood in the doorway watching with no small amount of appreciation.

 

“Do you want some help?” he asked, not taking his eyes off Xellos as he placed the notebook on the nightstand back with the others on the table. He was actually somewhat glad that Xellos didn’t share his trepidation about nudity, since it afforded him quite a nice view.

 

Xellos smiled, not at all shy. It figured that he would be an exhibitionist too. “If you like. Doing mundane things is an interesting change of pace.”

 

Together, they moved around the bed, smoothing the sheets over the mattress and tucking them neatly. When this was accomplished, Xellos slipped into the small bathroom to wash and dress, hiding his tempting body from Zel’s eyes. Shaking his head, willing his blush away, Zel pulled the mask over his face and called for service.

 

He did this by pulling on the rope by the door and opening the door a crack when a maid came to the door. He handed the girl enough money to cover a large assortment of sushi, since Xellos hadn’t wanted anything in particular, and closed the door shut after she had walked away.

 

Xellos came back into the bedroom wearing only pajama pants, but he seemed fresher and brighter-eyed than a few minutes before. “Ah, better. Semen dries strangely. It's uncomfortable.”

 

“Oh.” Zelgadis flushed deeply. He was embarrassed, but not strictly because it was rather frank; it was a reminder that, in this body, he would never truly be able to feel the little things, as unimportant as they may seem.

 

“What’s wrong?” Xellos asked, coming at once to his side.

 

“Nothing. I just didn’t know that,” he admitted out loud. He couldn’t feel it, so he didn’t realize it.

 

Slender arms wrapped around him. “It's alright.”

 

Zelgadis leaned into his embrace with a sigh. “I probably wouldn't be able to feel it, honestly.”

 

And that was part of the problem. He was still… like _this._

 

“You wouldn't want to feel this. It dries and starts flaking off...”

 

Zelgadis nodded, even though it wasn’t true, and took a deep breath before uttering his next words. “Xellos... If I find a cure in the real temple...”

 

Xellos’ smile was both understanding and sad. “It won’t change anything.”

 

He touched the silky skin of his face gently. “It'll be easier for both of us. My body...” The way he was now, it would make their sex lives difficult, to say the least of the rest of it.

 

Xellos blushed. “Yes, I know. I meant my feelings.”

 

Zelgadis watched his face carefully. “You don't look happy about it, Xellos.”

 

“It's only that I like you this way. But you will still be you regardless.” He brightened considerably. “Besides, if we're going to go for that happy ending, let's shoot for the whole thing, ne?”

 

Zelgadis smiled a little bitterly and kissed him. “If it’s possible.”

 

Xellos pressed their noses together. “If not, then we will make do.”

 

“I know.” He looked away, shrugging. Xellos had his own problems to deal with, without adding Zel’s own to the list. “Really, Rezo was probably right. It's a long-shot.”

 

He kept his voice level, his face blank, trying to pretend that it didn’t matter, even though it still did; it always would.

 

Xellos cuddled close, soft and adorable, melting away ice and hostility with ease. “I have no idea, Zelgadis. Even as a Mazoku, I didn't.”

 

“I know.” He hadn’t before, but he figured that now, Xellos would have told him the truth if he knew. He could trust Xellos now, and he did. Zel could, at least, take comfort from him.

 

They separated only when the food arrived. Zelgadis pulled his hood and scarf back up before he opened the door, tipping the maid well out of the change, and brought the food to the table. He handed Xellos a pair of cheap takeout chopsticks when they sat down.

 

Xellos’ face lit up as he surveyed the various cartons as they were opened. “Oh my. These look very delicious.”

 

“We're lucky it came so quickly, if Lina's there.”

 

Xellos giggled. “They probably had to sneak it out.”

 

Zel smiled. “I'm more surprised that they had the time to make it.”

 

The other man giggled more as he took a bite, his features becoming enraptured. “Mm. Very delicious.”

 

Upon starting on a few himself, Zelgadis could only agree. It was so good that between them, they ended up eating the entire order.

 

“Oh my.” Xellos covered his mouth and Zel could tell he was holding in a burp politely. “I’m afraid I ate too much.”

 

He laughed. “It's sushi. You won't be full long. With sushi you pay more for the art and taste than the food.”

 

Xellos giggled again, a light and happy sound. “I see.” He began picking up the garbage and throwing it away. “Thank you, my dear. That was a pleasant lunch.”

 

“Definitely worthwhile.” Zel sat back in his seat with a smile, sipping his tea, relaxed. He motioned absently to the notebooks on the table, stacked out of the way during their meal. “I figured I’d finish with these so we can make a key for Lina later.”

 

Xellos nodded, then his eyes widened suddenly. “Oh. Well actually, there are a few things I need from the market. It won't take long.”

 

The chimera glanced at him, wondering what Xellos could possibly need. From his tone, it sounded like the priest wanted to go alone. “I’ll come with you. You don’t have any money.”

 

Xellos looked uncertain. “Well, it's only that... You might be embarrassed to come with me while I buy certain things.”

 

Zel frowned, blushing slightly as he imagined what that might be. Human now or not, with Xellos it could be almost anything. “I'll trust you on that, but... the Mazoku are still after you, Xellos. I can give you the money so you can buy it privately, but I'm going with you.”

 

“I suppose you're right. It can't be helped.”

 

Zel, deciding to lighten the mood again, raised a stone eyebrow. “You might want to wear something more than pajama pants.”

 

Xellos flushed sheepishly. “Ahaha, yes.” He disappeared once more into the bathroom to change.

 

Shaking his head in amusement, Zel waited for Xellos to return, occupying himself with the notebooks as he did. Xellos dressed in his black outfit, the purple one still in the laundry, but it didn’t matter. Xellos still looked good in it.

 

Besides, he realized with some embarrassment, he was beginning to have a preference for his lover without any clothes at all.

 

They walked together to the nearby market. Zelgadis stuck close to Xellos, unsure of exactly what they were doing. Xellos still hadn’t told him what he was buying.

 

“Where are we going?”

 

“The apothecary.”

 

Zel glanced ahead at the small shop, which they had been heading toward. “”Alright. I can wait outside. How much do you think you’ll need?”

 

“Hm…” Xellos held up four fingers.

 

The shaman offered four silver pieces and Xellos took them, promising not to be long. Zel tried to look as unassuming as possible, and most passersby very obviously avoided looking at him, but when they didn’t, it was usually children who gazed up as his masked face with curiosity before their mothers tugged them away. It was highly uncomfortable, especially knowing that those same curious children would scream if they saw under his mask. He wished Xellos would hurry.

 

When Xellos finally returned, he was carrying a small bag of items.

 

“Do you need anything else?”

 

Xellos smiled. “I believe that's all for now. We'll probably get a chance to buy more supplies before we leave, so I can wait until then.”

 

They returned to the inn, where he was able to hide away in their room, no longer visible to the eyes of strangers. Xellos very obviously went out of his way to comfort him until Zel felt halfway calm again, and the chimera decided to distract him with the notebooks.

 

They sat across from each other at the table, Xellos making a key, Zelgadis looking through the novel notes he hadn’t gotten to yet. When Zel finished the last notebook, he flipped through Lina’s inventory out of curiosity, and frowned.

 

“I don't think she's taking this all that seriously...”

 

Xellos looked up. “Why’s that?”

 

He held up the notebook for his lover to see. “I know she can draw better than this.”

 

Xellos looked very surprised to see the comical images that Lina had drawn, most decorated with little drawings of the sorceress herself. “Oh dear.”

 

Zel sighed. “Typical Lina. I'm going to have to redo this whole thing.” More work and more time just because the girl had been feeling pouty. “Make her work on the weapons instead of inventory. Gourry and Amelia can help me.”

 

Even though they didn’t have time—Lina would want to get moving soon, and the Mazoku were still after them—they could lock up the temple and come back for it later. “If there’s nothing of use in these notebooks to Lina, she’ll have to suck it up and come back so we can keep working,” he added.

 

He set Lina’s notebook aside and started flipping through his own inventory, starting the task of noting possible qualities of each item. This kept him distracted and he didn’t notice that Xellos had stopped working at first. Zel looked up to find him chewing at the end of his pen and staring down at the table with a thoughtful, blank stare.

 

“Xellos?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“What are you thinking?”

 

Xellos’ smile was faint. “It's nothing, really. I just realized I haven't really given much thought to the future, beyond surviving this current predicament.”

 

Zel blinked. “Oh?” It sounded like a lot more than “nothing.”

 

“Mm. But it might be nice…”

 

He could only shrug. “You're not the only one who hasn't. I don't think any of us has given real thought about the future. We just let things happen, for the most part.”

 

Xellos continued to nibble on his pen. “Mm. But we will survive this, right? Perhaps we'll have time to think about it then.”

 

Zelgadis smiled. “Definitely.”

 

Xellos smiled wider; this apparently appeased some worry he’d had, that he hadn’t shared with Zel yet, and he went back to work. The chimera watched him for awhile longer, studying every small movement, before returning to his own. Xellos would tell him what was wrong, if anything, when he wanted to.

 

Xellos finished with his key, but Zelgadis could only do so much with his notes, as it was mostly conjecture until he tested the weapons. “I figure if I try those swords,” he told his companion, “I might be able to figure out what they do.”

 

The former priest nodded. “You and Gourry-san should try out your new swords to see what they can do.

 

“I'd prefer to do it before having to use them seriously. We'll have to find a safe place to do it, away from town. We don't want to cause a panic.”

 

“Of course.”

 

He sat back with a sigh. “I just wish Lina had taken inventory seriously. It means I have a lot more work to do.”

 

Xellos reached across the table, petting his hand. “I will help.”

 

“You're working on those books. Don't worry about it. I can get Gourry and Amelia to help me.”

 

“It feels as though I'm not doing enough.”

 

Zel shook his head, smiling reassuringly. “Xellos, if it weren't for you we would never have found any of this, and those books would be useless.” He flushed slightly. “And I'd still be a girl.”

 

Xellos squeezed his hand. “I thought you looked nice.”

 

Zel recoiled at the remark. “Just crossdressing was humiliating. This was a lot worse. I've already lost enough!”

 

His reaction seemed to startle Xellos. “I know, Zelgadis. I didn't mean anything by it.”

 

He swallowed hard, realizing belatedly that Xellos hadn’t been making fun of him, or even teasing. He looked away from the hurt that flashed in those purple eyes, even though it was obvious Xellos was trying not to let it show. “Sorry.”

 

“No, I apologize,” Xellos said immediately.

 

“I overreacted.”

 

“It's my fault entirely. Please don't worry about it.” Xellos stood, walking quietly to the window and looking out at the darkening sky, not from night’s approach, but from dark clouds.

 

Zel sighed and finally looked back at him, catching sight of Xellos biting his lip. He wasn’t angry, but the hurt he’d spied earlier was more pronounced now.

 

Why should Xellos be hurt? Zelgadis hadn’t been the one who said—but Xellos hadn’t meant anything in the statement. He felt stupid now, taking it so seriously. It felt like they’d had a fight, with the awkward silence stretching between them, but it was just a misunderstanding. He didn’t know how to fix it. Were they really so fragile?

 

No, but this was new. This relationship was new to Zel, but _everything_ was new to Xellos, and the former Mazoku had attached himself to him for some sort of stability, maybe. That didn’t mean that he didn’t love him, just that he was probably dependent on him—as Zel was becoming to him.

 

And if he didn’t know how to fix it, Xellos might not either. He stood and hesitantly touched his arm.

 

“You didn't know. It's not something I can explain.”

 

He couldn’t find the words to explain how he felt. That his masculinity, to a large extent, was the only thing left of who he’d originally been that he could cling to. Even if he could, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to voice it, even to Xellos.

 

Xellos relaxed visibly, offering a soft smile. “It’s alright.”

 

Relieved, Zel put his arm around Xellos and turned toward the storm, happy as the former priest leaned against his weight. He supported him easily as they listened to distant rumbling. “Hopefully it doesn't make the roads too muddy. Lina will get cabin fever and drive us all crazy.”

 

“I can imagine.” Xellos nuzzled against his neck, all warm and soft, and Zelgadis arched his head to the side to let him.

 

The storm moved closer, quickly, and all of the sudden a loud thunderclap broke through the peaceful quiet. Xellos jumped.

 

“Don’t like storms?” Zel asked, surprised.

 

Xellos lifted his head, embarrassed. “No, I rather like them. That one was just very loud.”

 

“Ah.” He looked back out the window and grinned. “I hope Lina gets soaked.”

 

Xellos giggled in his ear, and Zel watched the clouds for a long time before he noticed Xellos’ attention was on him. “Hm?”

 

“It’s nothing.” Xellos kissed his nose.

 

Zelgadis blinked, not sure how to take that. “You mentioned you like the feel of the rain. Do you want to go out on the balcony when it starts?”

 

Xellos smiled. “That would be lovely.”

 

“Alright.”

 

Xellos opened the balcony door as soon as the first raindrops fell. Zel watched him from the doorway, unable to help smiling as his boyfriend giggled and twirled around in circles in the rain. Watching Xellos’ wonder and excitement, he could almost remember how rain felt.

 

When it became obvious that Xellos wasn’t going to come inside on his own, Zel urged him back. Xellos pouted and did as bidden, dripping on the floor. The shaman fetched him a towel.

 

“Sorry,” he said. “Limitations.” Zel didn’t want him getting sick.

 

“I know.” Xellos removed his wet clothing, not bothering to go into the small bathroom this time.

 

Blushing, Zelgadis handed him a pair of pajamas, unable to keep from staring.

 

Xellos smiled at the attention and, after dressing in only the pajama pants, sat on the bed to begin towel-drying his hair. After taking a few minutes puttering around the room, trying to calm down, Zelgadis gave in and sat beside him. By then Xellos was brushing his hair and leaned against him easily.

 

Zel relaxed. The rain started to slow up soon after, which he noted to his lover.

 

“The roads won't be washed out, but Lina-san won't be soaked,” Xellos commented. “Ah well.”

 

He smiled. “They were probably too busy eating to even notice the storm.”

 

Xellos giggled and, setting the brush aside, reached up to touch his face. His eyes shone with happiness as he traced Zel’s features. “Probably.”

 

Zel caught his hand and kissed it lightly, which earned him a real kiss soon after. They were alone and the door was locked, so he didn’t hesitate to pull Xellos closer, hooking his arm around Xellos’ waist. Xellos smiled against his lips, eyes glittering as he moved into Zelgadis’ lap.

 

The chimera caressed Xellos’ back as idly as Xellos had touched his face earlier, feeling his lover’s sinewy muscles and the straight line of his spine. He leaned down to kiss the tempting skin of Xellos’ chest, curiously tracing a finger around one of his nipples. He watched with a little fascination as it hardened and caused Xellos to squirm. Zel kissed the hardened skin, licking it gently, amazed at himself that he felt confident enough to explore his body like this.

 

He felt Xellos bend his hair in his excitement but he didn’t care, still suckling on his skin, happy that he was pleasing Xellos so much. He wanted to do more, to make Xellos feel as good as the man made him feel when he touched him.

 

He laid Xellos on the bed gently, teasing the other nipple momentarily before moving down Xellos’ body. He rubbed his cheek against Xellos’ soft, taut belly, nuzzling and earning a gasp from the man beneath him. He kept moving further down, toward his goal beneath Xellos’ trousers.

 

“Zelgadis?”

 

Zel glanced up and noticed Xellos’ confusion. “Hm?”

 

Xellos smiled and reached down to touch his cheek. “You don’t have to.”

 

The chimera was startled. Had Xellos changed his mind? “Xellos… Then what…?”

 

Did Xellos not want his touch? The very idea made him feel ill.

 

Xellos was flushing as well now. “I meant that you don't have to do that just because I did it earlier. Only if you want to...”

 

Confused, Zel moved back up Xellos’ body, frowning. “Why wouldn’t I want to?”

 

His boyfriend continued petting his cheek. “Actually, there was something I thought we could try instead...”

 

Zelgadis relaxed. “Oh?”

 

Xellos nodded, smiling more. “Not that I wouldn't like for you to do that. Later, perhaps?”

 

Zel smiled back, relieved that it wasn’t a rejection. “Alright.”

 

Xellos reached for his bag from the apothecary and admitted what he had planned. Zelgadis, though he didn’t know a lot about foreplay, understood what he meant immediately.

 

He stared down at his beaming lover. “But... my skin. I don't want to hurt you.”

 

Xellos kissed his nose again, fingering the bottle of lubricant. “There’s a spell I can use on myself, if it’s me. And if it’s you, your inner muscles won't hurt me.”

 

He was suddenly nervous again, but the mental image of Xellos’ words was too tempting to pass up. “You’re sure?”

 

“There... will be some pain for either of us at first. I'm a virgin in this form as well.”

 

“Alright.” He was glad Xellos admitted that, since he’d admitted his own virginity a few days ago.

 

They kissed, Zel throwing himself into the activity in order to hide his nervousness—maybe Xellos’ body wasn’t experienced, but his mind still was, and he couldn’t imagine how his ineptitude and shyness could be attractive to the former priest.

 

Xellos’ next question, whispered softly, distracted him in a different way. “Which of us should...?”

 

“Should what?”

 

Xellos blushed softly. “I mean to say... I want you inside me.”

 

Zel was startled. He shook his head firmly. “No. That... That _would_ hurt you. I can't.”

 

Xellos pouted as though he didn’t understand, but Zel wasn’t fooled. “But…”

 

He looked away, not wanting to give in. “No. I don’t want to hurt you.”

 

Fingers lightly touched his wire hair. “I know, dear. I really don't think you would hurt me much more than what it would normally feel like... The skin on your shaft is much softer.”

 

Pained, Zel rested his head against Xellos’ shoulder. “It's not just that. I'm a lot stronger than you now. I told you that. If I lost control, even for a second... I can't.”

 

“I believe in you.”

 

“No.”

 

To hurt his Xellos – _his_ Xellos! – he wouldn’t be able to bear it. He couldn’t risk it.

 

Xellos relented and said he would be on top. Zel slowly relaxed as he was cuddled and reassured.

 

“Unless you don’t want me to?”

 

Zel shivered, the idea thrilling and terrifying at the same time. “I do.”

 

He was confident enough to let Xellos remove his pants and roll over onto his stomach, as his lover claimed it would be easier. He was a little wary because of the previously mentioned pain, but not enough to hesitate anymore. Zelgadis wanted to give himself entirely to Xellos.

 

His shirt was still on, which made him feel a little comfortable, and he stayed still as the finger lubricated finger was pressed to his bottom. He shivered. “Xellos…”

 

He heard Xellos’ smile in his voice. “My Zelgadis.” He pushed the first finger in.

 

It didn’t hurt, but it felt a little strange, and definitely new, but he couldn’t get a handle on it before a shout from outside broke the moment.

 

“Just go in, Gourry!”

 

“But Lina—”

 

There was no time to react. Lina kicked the door in and, though he couldn’t see her, he went rigid with horror. While Lina and Xellos shouted at each other, Zel hurriedly pulled the blanket over his head to hide his mortification.

 

Oh god, he panicked. Lina had seen him!

 

“Dammit! Put a sock on the door next time or something!”

 

“Normally people knock, Lina-san!” Xellos shouted, clearly infuriated.

 

“Yeah well this is Gourry’s room too, you know!”

 

It didn’t last much longer. He heard Gourry rush into the room briefly before tugging a still-arguing Lina out, and the door closed behind them.

 

Zel didn’t relax. He didn’t know if he ever would again. He couldn’t believe she’d just…

 

“I’m so sorry, Zelgadis,” Xellos murmured, cuddling him through the blanket.

 

“She saw me,” he rasped hoarsely. Even the times where he’d been shirtless in front of the others because of injuries had been embarrassing. It had taken quite a while for him to be comfortable enough with Gourry to consent to use the baths with him. And now…

 

“I was on top of you. She mostly saw me.”

 

“Oh, gods.” That made it worse. Not only had she likely seen him, but there was no way she didn’t know what they’d been doing—or, rather, what they’d been about to do. He was even more mortified.

 

After taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, Zel sat up slowly, keeping the blanket around his waist. “My pants, please.”

 

Xellos obeyed silently, handing them over, and Zel put them on under the blanket. Once he was dressed, he lay back down with a sigh, closing his eyes.

 

As Xellos tentatively touched his arm, he pulled Xellos against him, hiding his face against the other man’s chest and letting himself be comforted. He pulled the blanket back over them, still wanting to hide his body.

 

“Let’s eat here tonight,” Xellos murmured.

 

Zel was all too happy to agree. “I'm not going to be able to look at her after this.”

 

He let Xellos go long enough for his lover to call someone up to fix the door, the lock, as well as part of the doorjamb, broken by Lina kicking it in. Zelgadis stayed under the blanket the entire time. Xellos had them put them repairs on Lina’s tab and locked the door once it was fixed.

 

Zelgadis welcomed him back under the covers once Xellos returned to the bed, cuddling close. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault Lina-san doesn’t have any manners.”

 

“I know. But…” He’d wanted to be with Xellos. He’d been ready, and now there was no way he was going to be comfortable enough for that, with the lack of privacy.

 

Xellos smiled, almost shyly. “Don't worry about it. We're going to have a long time together, aren't we?”

 

Zel returned the smile slightly. “Yeah.”

 

Xellos cuddled close adorably. “A very long time, hopefully.”

 

“I hope so, too,” the chimera whispered. He reached up to pet Xellos’ hair in apology as well as fondness, until he fell asleep in his lover’s arms.

 

He dreamed about Xellos singing.

 

TBC.


	16. Confrontation! Plans for the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New note - This is where I picked up writing again after a year hiatus. The writing may be a little different, due to that and not having it beta-read.

-

 

Chapter Sixteen: Confrontation! Plans for the Future

 

-

 

He had heard from somewhere that singing could help a child fall asleep. Briefly searching his (rather long) memory, he remembered a little song, nearly a thousand years old, learned just after he was born.

 

Xellos didn’t think his voice was very good, but it had been serviceable in the past and he did remember the lessons. (Music lessons from a particularly cantankerous old lady, who had expected no less than his best, if not better, and would often hit her students with a cane. Xellos could still feel the blows and remembered them fondly.) Zelgadis seemed to like it anyway. The chimera curled close to him, relaxed in sleep.

 

Wrapping up the song, Xellos slipped out of bed, careful not to wake his lover, and sat down at the table to resume his work. However he found he couldn’t concentrate and his eyes were drawn to the bed often until he decided studying tonight was a complete loss.

 

Instead, his mind went to what he could do for Zelgadis. The chimera deserved a treat. Of course, since Xellos loved him, he felt that Zelgadis always deserved something good; but especially after Lina had destroyed the chimera’s comfort zone so utterly.

 

Glancing at the clock, he noticed the time and felt inspiration strike.

 

He had enough time to gather what he needed downstairs, return, and set the table while Zelgadis remained asleep. This pleased Xellos, who took it as a sign that some of his chimera’s discomfort had been lifted.

 

He pulled back the blanket and woke him gently. “It’s time to eat.”

 

“Xellos?” Zelgadis stirred, blue eyelids fluttering tiredly. “Wha--?”

 

Smiling, Xellos lightly brushed wire hair out of the chimera’s eyes, waiting for him to wake up.

 

“Oh.” Understanding dawned as Zelgadis’ eyes fell on the table Xellos had set for them. “Romantic dinner?”

 

“Ahahaha…” There was really no mistaking the candles. “Is it too terribly cliché?”

 

Zelgadis shook his head immediately. “Not to me.”

 

“Ah, that’s a relief then! Shall we?”

 

It was quite a spread, Xellos admitted, but Zelgadis ate his share despite his slow metabolism. The chimera seemed to be in awe of being the object of such attention, which made Xellos happy. Anything to put his lover back into his relatively comfort zone with him was worth noting.

 

“Thank you, Xellos,” Zelgadis murmured.

 

The former priest beamed. “You’re welcome, my dear.”

 

They also shared a bottle of wine. Xellos hadn’t been sure what to purchase in that regard, but after a brief consultation with Amelia—who kindly paid for the meal—he learned that Zelgadis rarely indulged in alcohol regardless. So he decided on something fruity and sweet, because he liked sweet things. Zelgadis had no complaints.

 

“How long was I asleep?” Zelgadis asked, the food nearly gone and both of them slowly nursing their wine goblets.

 

“A little under two hours.” Xellos admitted that the others had been back for sometime, but that he had no urge to be around Lina for the moment. If he did, there would be pranks involved and his time was better spent cheering Zelgadis up.

 

“You and me both,” Zelgadis responded, in regards to being around Lina.

 

Traveling was going to be uncomfortable the next day. Only a few days ago, a week ago, Xellos would have thrived on such discontent in the group. It would have amused him endlessly. It seemed, however, that he also now had a healthy dose of sympathy to go along with the rest of his messy humanity.

 

Xellos reached across the table for Zelgadis’ hand, and the chimera lightly threaded their fingers together. It was just a touch, simple and embarrassingly tender, but it still made him feel absurdly pleased.

 

As they were discussing what still needed to be done with the shrine and its contents, there was a knock on the door.

 

“Is it okay if I come in?” Gourry asked.

 

Surprised, Xellos got up to unlock the door. “Yes, Gourry-san. How was your day?” he asked, hoping to sidestep any discussion of what happened earlier.

 

The blond smiled. “It was really good! This town has some great restaurants.”

 

Cheerfully, Gourry grabbed the bag containing his few belongings.

 

Xellos blinked. “Gourry-san?”

 

“Hm? Oh, they got me my own room. Amelia said you guys should have privacy.”

 

Zelgadis flushed brightly. “She shouldn’t have…”

 

“She didn’t. She made Lina pay for it.”

 

Xellos felt his face stretch into a smirk, unkindly amused. “Did she now.” Not a question.

 

Gourry nodded. “She shouldn't have barged in on you guys. Amelia said the only way she'll learn is if it costs her money, so...”

 

Xellos giggled, feeling no sympathy for Lina at all.

 

With plans to meet with them in the morning, so that they could leave after breakfast, Gourry departed for his own room. Xellos closed and locked the door after him.

 

He turned to find Zelgadis suddenly standing directly behind him. He had not heard the chimera move and was surprised. “Zelgadis?”

 

Zelgadis touched his face almost reverently. “Looks like we have the room to ourselves for tonight.”

 

Xellos sighed and leaned into the touch, craving the gentle scrape of stone fingers. “Oh… Yes, it does.”

 

By mutual agreement, they decided to pick up where they had left off earlier and returned to bed.

 

Xellos, glancing at the half-used jar of lubricant later, decided he was glad he’d purchased more than one.

 

-

 

They stayed in bed late. Zelgadis really couldn’t care less, and seeing Xellos so unwilling to leave the bed (and him) was weirdly adorable. Also his purple hair was sticking up in all sorts of new and interesting way, and that was equally adorable. Zelgadis wanted to stay like that with him as long as possible, burning the sight into his brain.

 

But eventually they had to rise, or risk Lina breaking down the door again. Not something Zel wanted to repeat.

 

He still couldn’t believe she’d done that. He felt like something fragile had been violated. While he had been angry at Lina before, it had never been like this. Just being one of his few (living) friends was not reason enough to forgive her that easily.

 

So they took their time, eating breakfast in their room before packing. They had a few new belongings now, one being Zelgadis’ new magical blade. He hadn’t gotten to test it the day before because they had ended up being otherwise occupied. Zel blushed at the reminder.

 

He was a little sore as he moved around their room, but not uncomfortably so. Xellos had been gentle and slow with him, and the dull pain would likely fade on its own, once he cast a healing spell. Which he did in private in the bathroom, embarrassed and not wanting the former priest to worry.

 

Xellos felt his chin as they were finishing up, violet eyes widening fractionally. “Oh my. I think I'll need to shave soon.”

 

Zel was surprised as well. “Oh. I forgot about that.” Xellos was human now, so naturally his hair would grow. That included body hair.

 

There was a razor in the bathroom, but the shaman suggested that Xellos purchase one of his own, since it was likely that the one there would not be very good. He didn’t want to see his lover cut up his face too badly the first time shaving. “Gourry never uses the ones provided at these inns,” he added, something he noticed when rooming with the blond.

 

“I suppose. Does it look too bad?”

 

Zel leaned closer to get a good look, like he first had Xellos’ new eyes. Sure enough, what he had not noticed before, some baby fine hairs on his lover’s face. “You can’t see it,” he admitted, “unless you’re looking for it.  If it gets longer, it might be visible.”

 

“Alright.” Xellos grinned, giggling. “Who knows, it might look manly.”

 

“I wonder if it'll be purple,” Zel wondered.

 

Xellos waggled his eyebrows at him. “The hair down there is.”

 

Zelgadis blushed, Xellos’ naked body above him as the other man moved inside him still vivid in his mind. “Carpet matches the drapes, I suppose. The beard will probably be purple, too, then. I can't really imagine you with a beard, though.”

 

“Neither can I,” Xellos admitted. “I'll buy a razor and ask Gourry-san if he can show me how to use it.”

 

“I'd help if I could, but I never had to shave.”

 

“I know, dear,” Xellos said gently, smiling.

 

Zel shrugged. “It's a bit of a relief, honestly. Shaving my hair wouldn't be easy. I was fifteen when Rezo changed me. Late bloomer, so no facial hair.”

 

Xellos stood and hugged him. “I would help, if so.”

 

“Or any other body hair,” Zel added, sheepishly, leaning into Xellos’ warm softness.

 

Xellos nuzzled him, like a large cat. “That's not so bad. I think mine is growing every day, and not in entirely pleasant places...”

 

Zelgadis smiled. Now that he thought about it, he had noticed that a little, but it took none of Xellos’ beauty away. “Honestly, it'd probably be uncomfortable for me otherwise.”

 

Xellos hummed in answer and moved into his lap, petting Zel’s chest through his clothes. Zel touched his face, awed again that this was really happening to him, and pulled Xellos into a light kiss. It was just the right distraction to make him forget about all the little things Rezo had taken away from him; at least for a little while.

 

It was enough.

 

Things may have gone further, but Amelia interrupted them, telling them it was time to leave.

 

“We’re ready,” Zelgadis told her, standing and pulling his hood and mask into place. His lover stood close, helping him, then kissed him through the material covering his mouth.

 

The chimera blushed and thought he understood the gesture. Xellos could do nothing about his insecurities, but he accepted Zel the way he was. This was enough too.

 

They grabbed their belongings, plus the books they would be returning to the shrine, and walked downstairs. By silent agreement, they ignored Lina entirely, conferring with the princess that they needed to return to the shrine and then to the apothecary before leaving the village.

 

Lina soon looked furious about being ignored, but Zel couldn’t bring himself to care. He was too embarrassed to look at her.

 

She said nothing at first, showing a rare amount of restraint, though he thought that Amelia had a great deal to do with that as well.

 

They went to the apothecary as planned. However, picking out the essentials Xellos would need for shaving was not as easy as either of them had thought. The razor was one thing, but there were many different types of cream that the small shop seemed compelled to offer.

 

Xellos eventually just picked out one of the inexpensive creams and Zelgadis paid for both items at the counter.

 

“Anything else?” Zel asked, before they left the shop.

 

Xellos shook his head. “The next village is supposed to be close. If I think of something, we can try to get it there.”

 

Zelgadis nodded, handing Xellos his razor and cream, then they left the shop together.

 

“You planning to ignore me all day?” Lina growled at last when they rejoined the others.

 

Zelgadis still could not look at her. “Let’s go.”

 

“Fine,” she snapped through clenched teeth, leading the way out of the village.

 

They followed another path cut into the dense foliage of the forest, which was supposed to lead them straight to the next village.

 

Xellos hooked his arm with Zel’s once they were out of sight of the villagers. “Ah, such a nice day,” he said as if Lina weren’t glaring daggers at them occasionally over her shoulder. “It’s much cooler.”

 

Zel relaxed at his closeness. “That storm did a good job at clearing the weather.”

 

By noon, they stopped for lunch beside a small lake. Amelia decided to make a picnic of it, spreading one of their blankets on the ground and spreading food across it. Zel started to help her, but he was interrupted by Lina clearing her throat.

 

“Zel, can I speak to you privately for a sec?”

 

Zel glanced in her direction, still uncomfortable, but it was clear she was not going to take no for an answer. He sighed. “Fine.”

 

He followed her away from their picnic sight, even though he felt a little like a deer caught in the torchlight of a speeding couch.

 

“Zel, I hate to do this,” Lina spoke softly, the others not having her and Zelgadis’ super-hearing. “I’ve never seen you this happy before, and I know he’s changed, I’m not dumb enough not to see that. But you have to remember that he’s still _Xellos_.”

 

The shaman still could not look at his friend. “Lina, he’s _human_ ,” he responded just as softly.

 

“Yeah, okay.” She seemed hesitant, as if she really didn’t want to be talking about this, but felt compelled to regardless. “But—But what if he’s been faking it? I was fooled too for awhile, because all he seemed to want was to take care of you. But _he’s still Xellos_. He’s used us before. He’s tricked us more than he’s used us, for his own enjoyment!”

 

“It’s not an act,” Zel said firmly. “Look, I’m… glad you care.” He was, even though he was still mad at her. “But he's not targeting anyone except the Mazoku.”

 

He decided to continue to keep secret the time Xellos had almost forced him, almost a week ago. Lina would overreact when really all that had happened was Xellos not having a good handle on his feelings. Things were different now that Zelgadis had accepted a relationship with the former priest. Xellos had had many more opportunities to hurt him, so if all he had planned was some elaborate trick, he’d already missed quite a few chances to spring his joke. Zel just couldn’t see it, not with Xellos’ lack of patience.

 

“Okay, maybe not now. But what about when he's back to normal?” she demanded, hissing.

 

Zelgadis hesitated. They hadn’t told the others that Xellos wanted to remain human, either. He wasn’t sure if Xellos wanted him revealing that yet, or what Lina’s reaction would be. Lina already noticed his hesitation though so he had to answer her. “And if he doesn’t intend to go back?”

 

Lina was obviously surprised. “What?”

 

The chimera swallowed thickly. “Maybe you should talk to him.”

 

She frowned. “Yeah. Xellos,” she raised her voice, “get over here.”

 

Xellos walked over, moving to Zelgadis’ side and into his personal space, an action that was quickly proving to be a comfort without words. “Is something wrong?”

 

Lina didn’t beat around the bush. “Xellos, do you still intend to find a cure for yourself?”

 

Zel looked at him apologetically, but Xellos only smiled, taking his hand and squeezing it until he could feel it through thick skin.

 

“No, I do not,” he said. “I wish to remain human.”

 

Her pink eyes narrowed. “You intend to give up everything you've ever known for Zel?”

 

Xellos pressed even closer to him. “Yes. I do. Are you marrying us, Lina-san?”

 

The sorceress turned red, irritated and flustered, but also—yes, there was relief there too. “Hell no. But if you don't marry him eventually, I'll kill you. If you hurt him at all, I'll make sure you pay. Understood?”

 

“Lina!” Zel objected, glaring and flushing.

 

Xellos merely smiled wider. “Maa. So overprotective, Lina-san.”

 

“I’m older than you, Lina,” Zel growled, reminding her.

 

“So what?” she demanded, hands on her slender hips.

 

Zelgadis felt Xellos rubbing his side with a firm thumb. “As for marriage,” said the former priest lightly, “I have been thinking about the future recently and what it could hold for us. It has occurred to me.”

 

Zel stared at his lover. Xellos had alluded to thinking about the future, but marriage? That was… new. He wasn’t sure what to think about it.

 

Before he even had a chance to start, however, they were interrupted with a shout. Whirling around, Zelgadis saw in time as Amelia was yanked underwater. He ran toward the lake, yanking off his cloak and diving in after her. Lina followed him into the water, a few steps behind him, not having his supernatural speed.

 

It was his speed that propelled him through the water, since he was too heavy to swim. He still went straight to the bottom.

 

Zel was casting an Elmekia Lance before he even registered it was a Mazoku, using precious swallows of air to do so. It held Amelia by her ankle underwater and sped away as the ark of light lanced toward it, making contact underwater. Zel could not tell what damage was done. The Elmekia Lance was the weakest of the offensive Astral Shamanic spells, but its main effect wasn’t to take out an opponent so much as weaken them mentally, disrupting their concentration.

 

Zelgadis stood, his head just coming up to the surface of the water, and he saw Xellos had somehow gotten in front of the Mazoku, as if anticipating its need to flee. Maybe he had.

 

Xellos stood on the other side of the lake, his hands together in front of him, his lips moving quickly to form a chant. “Ra Tilt!” he cast, sending the ball of light straight into the Mazoku.

 

Water erupted in every direction. Amelia was flung away as the Mazoku screamed and writhed. Lina rushed over with a Ray Wing to catch her princess, speeding her back to their impromptu campsite. For once, the legendary sorcery genius did not stick around to end the monster.

 

Zel was glad she chose to stay with Amelia. He wanted to concentrate on the thing that had attacked her.

 

Concentrating on either side of the injured Mazoku, he and Xellos attacked it with a double Ra Tilt. There was not much left of the water after that—it was hot and barely went up to Zel’s knees.

 

The Mazoku splashed and flailed in the water, too injured to escape into the Astral Plane—yet. But it surely would when it got the chance.

 

Xellos knew the same thing. “Now, Gourry-san!”

 

With the unerring accuracy of one of the best swordsman Zelgadis had ever seen, Gourry leapt and descended on the Mazoku, his newly obtained holy blade extended.

 

Zelgadis held his breath. This was actually their first opportunity seeing what the new swords could do.

 

There was no need to worry. The blade sliced through the Mazoku’s earthly body and with one final, inhuman cry, it disintegrated.

 

They ran back to where the girls were. Lina had cleared the food away and lay Amelia on the blanket, having the girl rest on her side so she could more easily cough up water.

 

“She okay?” Zel asked.

 

Amelia nodded, answering for herself, and coughed some more. “Is everyone…?” she attempted to wheeze.

 

Zel glanced over his shoulder. Xellos was the last to join him, slightly out of breath from his long run. “Yeah,” he told Amelia. “Are you hurt?”

 

She shook her head. “Just surprised.”

 

“Amelia,” Lina sighed and pulled the princess into her arms. Feeling embarrassed witnessing the tender moment, Zelgadis turned his back and walked a little distance away.

 

Xellos met him and began fussing over his dripping clothes, casting a variation of a warming spell on his hands as he wrung them out. “We were distracted,” the former priest noted, not sounding pleased with the observation.

 

Zel nodded, agreeing. “We need to be more careful.”

 

His lover sighed. “I think the last village’s shrine may have been shielding us. It’s been too long since we were last attacked. Lower Mazoku are not known for their patience. I doubt that this one was capable of waiting long enough for us to grow complacent.”

 

“It must've been,” Zel responded, thoughtful. “At least we know there's a safe place nearby.”

 

Xellos smiled, a faint quirk of kissable lips, close enough to do something about it. “That works well for our plans to return later, yes?”

 

Zel made himself look into Xellos’ eyes instead of his lips. “And if there's a problem we can always use that as a fallback position.”

 

They salvaged some of their lunch and left soon after, returning to the trail. Zel put his hood and mask back into place once the town was in sight. He could smell dust in the material from having thrown it onto the ground earlier but ignored it.

 

Lina suggested that they look for a restaurant first. She kept an arm around Amelia the entire way, not to help the younger girl walk so much as keep her close, Zel couldn’t help but notice.

 

Zelgadis shook his head and did not argue for once. He knew she wanted to give Amelia a chance to rest as much as to get more food. And Amelia looked grateful for the suggestion.

 

They found a little corner establishment, and the smell that wafted out of the kitchen seemed delicious. They got a table easily, even though the place was busy, and were quickly served. Even Lina had no complaints about the service, when normally the food could not get to her plate (and her mouth) fast enough; and she always let everyone know it too.

 

Zel simply ordered coffee, keeping his hood up and his head bowed. Xellos was a welcome presence beside him, though the former priest seemed a little preoccupied with something. Zelgadis was about to ask what he was thinking about when Amelia spoke.

 

“Thank you all for helping me,” she said shyly.

 

Lina paused in her eating and softened. “You don’t need to thank us, Amelia.”

 

“We wouldn’t leave you,” Zel added softly, but firmly.

 

“’Course!” Gourry said. “We’re practically family. A dysfunctional one sometimes, but yeah…”

 

Amelia smiled, giggling. “You’re right!”

 

Beside him, Zelgadis suddenly noticed Xellos covering a yawn.

 

“You okay?” he asked. Xellos seemed to sleep fine the night before. No sitting up late reading. They had, after all, been otherwise occupied.

 

Xellos smiled reassuringly over his teacup. “Yes, I’m just a little tired all the sudden.”

 

Then, Amelia broke into a wide yawn herself. “Mm, me too. Must be from the attack earlier.”

 

But Zelgadis also realized that he was feeling tired as well. He looked down at his coffee in horror.

 

“We’ve been drugged.”

 

TBC.


	17. A ‘Prince’ Rides to the Rescue

-

 

Chapter Seventeen: A ‘Prince’ Rides to the Rescue

 

-

 

“We’ve been drugged.” Already he could feel its affects. _Damn_!

 

Beside him, Lina cursed. She stood so abruptly that her chair fell back, which she ignored as she grabbed the nearest frightened waiter.

 

Now that he was looking for it, Zel saw that the servers and patrons all looked very frightened.

 

Conspiracy?

 

“You'll be alright, miss!” gasped the man Lina held by the scruff of his neck. “Please, calm down, or the evil queen will hear you!”

 

Zelgadis tried to stand as well, just as angry as the sorceress—evil queen? What?—but he soon realized that balance was not going to be part of his reality for the moment. He fell to his knees heavily, cracking the wood floor with his weight, feeling sick.

 

“Zelgadis!” he heard Xellos gasp, and turned in time to see the former priest try to reach for him before he slumped to the floorboards as well. He crumbled with a thump and Zel could do nothing about it.

 

Zelgadis’ last thought, as he struggled and failed to fight unconsciousness, was that his clothes were still damp.

 

It was a silly thing to think about, but he _was_ drugged after all.

 

-

 

When he woke up, Xellos was not in a very good mood. This was the second time he had been drugged in the same week, he had an elephant running around in his head disguised as a headache, and Zelgadis was nowhere in sight.

 

Someone would pay for this.

 

For instance, someone like the morons sitting around his throne calling him “Prince!” and “Our lord!”

 

He did think the _throne_ was rather odd, but it was not important. All that mattered now was that his chimera and their friends were in danger—that he had placed them in once again.

 

It seemed that no matter how much changed, that was one thing that remained the same.

 

He felt his eyebrow twitching as he cast a spell. “Diem Wing!”

 

There was a certain amount of satisfaction, listening to the dismayed and pained cries of the supposed courtiers as the wind spell scattered them across the hall.

 

Though it was large, it was not as majestic as the palace of Seyruun. The architect may have had dreams of such splendor, with its high ceilings and wide windows, but it did not quite get there. But the tapestries were pretty and the stain glass cast colorful rainbows on the floor. Xellos wanted to see it all burn.

 

“Prince!” they cried. “Please help us! Don’t attack!”

 

Xellos offered them a cold smile. “I’m afraid you have me mistaken for someone else. You see, I’m the villain of this piece. However, if you tell me where the chimera is, I may allow you to live.” He smiled and shook a chiding finger at them. “No promises!”

 

The ones that weren’t unconscious or too afraid to move began fleeing the hall. It seemed he _could_ still strike fear in the hearts of mortals. Lina would likely not approve, but he would cross that hurdle if or when he got to it.

 

A young woman, half hidden behind a bust of some long forgotten nobleman, answered shakily. “H-He is in the forest. The evil queen found him and put a powerful spell upon him.”

 

Xellos approached her, laying a hand meaningfully on the sword strapped to his belt. It appeared that while he was sleeping, his captors had sought fit to equip him like the “prince” they wanted him to be. In addition to the bejeweled short sword, a horribly unpractical thing, he wore a pretty blue mantel with white and gold robes.

 

Not his style.

 

Xellos crouched down, giving the cowering girl a mockingly sympathetic smile. “ _Where_ in the forest, young miss?”

 

The Mazoku could attack while these shenanigans were taking place. If Zelgadis was still asleep, his stone skin would not protect him for long.

 

“In the shrine!” she gasped. “The fairies placed him there so that he would be safe. You take the path that leads away from the Tower. Please, Prince, spare us...”

 

Xellos hurried out without sparing them another glance, throwing a Fireball negligently over his shoulder. The screams and frenzied escape of the remaining courtiers were the only orchestra the former Mazoku got as he took a waiting horse and rode away.

 

He followed the path cut into the forest until he came upon the tower and Lina, who was screaming at another of the villagers. She was also dressed like a theatrical prince, while Gourry was up in the tower above, which only seemed to have a window, no doors. He was wearing a pink princess dress and his blond hair was at least twenty feet longer than usual. It reached all the way down to the ground.

 

“Why can’t I just blast him out?!” Line demanded, then saw him and looked a little relieved. “Xellos!”

 

Xellos pulled the horse to a stop. It had been a long time since he had ridden, but while his skills were still adequate, he could already feel his new human muscles adjusting to the new activity. He kept his back straight, his heels down, and bore it.

 

“Lina-san. They have Zelgadis is some sort of shrine up ahead.” He needed to hurry on ahead. “Do you need assistance? I do not know where Amelia-san is,” he added for the sorceress’ benefit.

 

She cursed softly. “No, I’m fine. Go find Zel, I’ll figure this out.”

 

Xellos nodded and urged the horse forward again, the young creature all too eager to run fast for him. He heard Gourry’s scream behind him and a crash, assuming that Lina had indeed ‘figured it out.’

 

Knowing they would be following shortly, Xellos continued without stopping until he reached another structure: the shrine. It was far older than the castle or tower he had already seen, but not old enough to be an Aqualord shrine. That in itself was worrying but it was not the main issue.

 

Xellos slid off the horse, patting the creature’s neck as he frowned. He tried to stretch his senses, but as a human he just couldn’t be sure if there were Mazoku nearby or not. He did, however, feel his chimera. He sensed Zelgadis’ magic, thrumming with power and life, and breathed a sigh of relief. Tension ebbed in his stomach that he hadn’t realized was there, but not completely. He needed to see Zelgadis with his own eyes.

 

He was distracted and didn’t notice the bug-like animals coming out of the crevices of the structure until one bit his ear. Wincing, Xellos swatted at the small beast.

 

Xellos recognized them then: Flimsy, translucent wings. Vaguely humanoid bodies with skin the wrong color and lines that were too sharp. Very small.

 

 _Fairies_. He emitted a rare curse and cast another wind spell. “Dimil Arwin!”

 

The pests went scattering with tiny, inhuman cries and Xellos quickly ascended the steps, feeling no guilt for hurting them either.

 

Fairies were not the benevolent creatures of fairy stories. They were annoying, as he had told Zelgadis not too long ago, and no more sentient than mosquitoes. Their resemblance to humans was one of nature’s little jokes, that was all. It just made it all the easier for them to attack humans.

 

 _Zelgadis_. Xellos hurried down the hallway he entered, eager to find his lover. If he had been harmed in anyway, the villagers of this pathetic, delusional place would think the ones in their castle had gotten off lucky.

 

He knew Zelgadis would do the same for him, so he felt no guilt, no sympathy. Xellos happily embraced the bloodlust, because it was _familiar_. So what if it was rage created from love? People had killed for worse reasons. _He_ certainly had.

 

They had a real chance. They could have something different together, something more than either of them had ever known. No one and nothing would take that away from him—and _away from Zelgadis_. Not while he could still fight. He did not know why these villagers wanted to dress them up for a bit of playacting, nor did he care.

 

The hall ended in an archway that opened to a large central room. It was empty but for red roses scattered around, a bed, and a still figure in the bed wearing a blue dress.

 

Xellos rushed forward, forgetting to check for traps in his haste. There were none. Behind him, he could hear Lina and Gourry finally catching up to him, arguing with each other. He only vaguely heard what they were saying; Gourry complained about Lina pulling his hair to get him out of the tower and she had cut his hair too long. Lina was loudly declaring fairies to be the most annoying creatures ever.

 

But none of that mattered because it was Zelgadis in the bed and _he wasn’t waking up!_

 

“Zelgadis!” Xellos shook him by his hard shoulders, barely moving his weight. “Zelgadis-san, please! Wake up!”

 

“Zel?”

 

Xellos glanced at Lina. He hadn’t even realized they were so close, or had stopped arguing. “He’s alive. But he will not awaken.”

 

Gourry suddenly slapped his fist into his open palm. “Wait, I know this story! How does it go…?”

 

“What the hell are you blathering about, jellyfish brain?” Lina snapped. A worry line had formed between her brows.

 

“You know, like the fairy tales people tell their kids. You and Lina are dressed like princes; me and Zel are princesses. I was in a tower, Zel’s asleep in bed like he’s…”

 

Gourry trailed off and glanced at him guiltily, but it was too late. Xellos understood perfectly. But Zelgadis was breathing, not dead. He just would not awaken.

 

“So what fairy tale would this be?” Lina waved at Zel.

 

A side door burst open. Xellos hadn’t given it proper attention before but now he did, as Amelia burst in. She was normally dressed in her travel garb, but the woman she had in a headlock was the classic evil queen, with the black gown and crown with wicked edges.

 

“Sleeping Beauty!” Amelia yelled, like a conquering general.

 

“Amelia!” Lina cried, rushing over. Amelia dropped the struggling queen and embraced her redheaded sorceress. “Sleeping what?”

 

“These people seem to be under some sort of spell,” Amelia explained. “It’s all this woman’s doing. She read some curse that activated it and the whole town has been trapped in fairy tale reenactments for nearly a year.”

 

“I just read some writing on a shrine wall!” the woman in question wailed. “I didn't know it would happen! I just want to go back to being a normal shrine maiden!”

 

“Amelia, there are _fairies_!” Lina said.

 

Amelia sighed and patted her head fondly. “The only way to wake Zelgadis-san up is to act out the end of the story.”

 

Xellos sighed and sat on the edge of the couch, his legs feeling strangely weak. He pet Zelgadis’ cheek as he tried to remember all the different versions of Sleeping Beauty and wondering which one this spell was supposed to be in tuned with. He hated these types of curses. They were worse than password protected shrines.

 

“Xellos-san, just kiss him,” Amelia said.

 

“Ah. That one.” Cupping Zel’s face, he wasted no time planting a tender kiss on Zelgadis’ mouth.

 

Please, _please_. He needed Zelgadis to wake up. He needed to see his blue eyes, hear his voice.

 

But still, there was nothing. Zelgadis did not respond. Heart beating loudly in his ears, Xellos lifted his head to look down at the chimera’s face.

 

There was nothing. But just as Xellos began frantically thinking about the other versions of Sleeping Beauty again, there was suddenly movement.

 

Zelgadis’ lashes fluttered openly slowly, but they focused on him almost immediately. “Xellos?”

 

The relief he felt was almost a physical thing. Xellos had never suffered anything like it. He nearly fell on Zelgadis in his need to be close, pressing his face against the shaman’s neck.

 

“Thank you,” he said, to whoever or whatever was listening. “Thank you, thank you.”

 

Zelgadis moved underneath him, arms coming up to wrap around him, and this also helped him relax. It also cleared his mind enough to realize that his upset was clearly visible to everyone else in the room, which was exceedingly embarrassing. He kept his face hidden against his lover as Amelia filled Zelgadis in on what had occurred. It was quite a few minutes before he could sit up again, but thankfully no one commented on it.

 

He could survive without Zelgadis. He had for a long time prior to knowing the chimera. But as with his choice to not become Mazoku again, it was not how he wanted to live. He would continue, because Zelgadis would not want him to give up (and there was his own pride to consider). It was just _not what he wanted._

 

Apparently not just the curse on Zelgadis had been broken—the whole town’s curse had been broken as well. This was why they had been dragged into it instead of being warned to stay away—the curse could only be broken by an outsider. A strange sort of curse, and Xellos wondered—absently—how pissed off the shrine maiden who had created the thing had been at the time. To create such a curse, then to graffiti it on the side of a wall for anyone to read…

 

Or it was some priest who had too much time on his hands and the prank had gone horribly wrong. Xellos really didn’t care all that much anymore, either way.

 

Zelgadis, when he spoke again, sounded just as irritated. “I'm more concerned about where my real clothing is. What the _hell_ am I wearing?”

 

Xellos made an embarrassingly wet sound that was supposed to have been a laugh and Zelgadis rubbed his back in response.

 

Lina and Amelia intimidated the shrine maiden in what sounded like an impressive two-on-one combo, and the sniveling woman apologized profusely on behalf of her town and said they already had rooms at the local inn, where their belongings had been stored.

 

“I can’t walk around like _this_ ,” Zelgadis muttered.

 

“It’s not like you haven’t cross-dressed before,” Lina retorted.

 

“Because I thought it was necessary!”

 

Xellos lifted his head, at last able to compose himself. “If we can have some privacy, Zelgadis, I’ll wear the dress back to town.”

 

His chimera sighed, still rubbing his back. “You didn't seem too bothered by wearing a dress last time. Fine.”

 

Their friends left, taking the woman with them, and Xellos turned around to give Zelgadis as much privacy as possible.

 

-

 

Zel reached behind him, fumbling with the zipper of the dress. The only thing that kept him from simply ripping the material to get out of it was knowing that Xellos had to wear it afterwards. He loved seeing Xellos without clothes but he certainly did not want the dicks in this town to see his lover.

 

Honestly. Fairy tales becoming real, of all things!

 

Then suddenly there were soft hands over his own, pushing his stone ones away from the zipper. Xellos pulled it down smoothly and pressed a kiss on his back, just under the hairline on his neck.

 

Zelgadis blushed both from the kiss and when he caught sight of the “prince” costume on the bed. Xellos had already gotten undressed while he was struggling. It was tempting to turn around and push Xellos onto the bed, but this definitely was not the place or time.

 

Sighing, Zelgadis removed the dress and handed it behind him blindly, not turning around. He quickly dressed in Xellos’ outfit. They were fine clothes, but certainly not of the quality of the outfits they had purchased recently. It was almost (but not quite) theatrical quality. Which fit the place pretty well, actually.

 

As he was pulling on the boots, Xellos finished filling in the holes of what had happened after they lost consciousness. The former priest almost seemed hesitant to admit to Fireballing the castle, but honestly Zelgadis was not surprised. If their positions had been reversed, Zel knew he would have acted similarly, and told him so.

 

He turned. “Let’s get back to the inn so we can…” He trailed off as he fully took in how Xellos looked.

 

The dress was pale blue, not a really flattering color on Xellos, but there was still something about seeing him in the dress that made his brain stop functioning for a second. The neck hung a little loose, the cups a little flat without anything to fill them, and the ruffled sleeves looked awkward on muscular forearms. Xellos was currently sitting on the bed, bending over as he squeezed into the matching slippers, one foot at a time. They stretched, thankfully, and he only had to wear them back to town.

 

Xellos looked up at him and smiled brightly, curling a strand of hair behind his ear, purple eyes shining. “You look quite dashing, my dear.”

 

Zel rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. “It’s better than wearing that dress,” he sighed. He hoped Xellos wouldn’t say he liked him wearing a dress. Just because he was the ‘bottom’ in their sex life didn’t mean he was going to crossdress.

 

Xellos softened and stood, moving to hug Zelgadis which just a serious expression that at first he was taken aback by it. “It doesn’t matter. The only thing I care about is that you’re alright.” His voice grew softer, his face pressed once again to Zel’s neck. “When I saw you lying there, and I couldn't wake you, I was… Zelgadis, I have never known such fear before. Ever.”

 

Zelgadis held him again, not surprised. He had seen how upset Xellos was immediately when he woke up. In another life, such an admission would have caused the former Mazoku a great deal of pain by his very nature, so he was grateful that Xellos admitted to it now. “I’m sorry, Xellos. I’m okay.”

 

It suddenly occurred to Zel that such scenes would likely continue in the future. Their lives were made up of these dangerous travels. Either because they would follow Lina into danger or get into it all on their own. Thinking about it made Zel very sad suddenly.

 

As much as he didn’t want to be a hermit, he didn’t want to put Xellos through this. Xellos should never be scared of anything—he was way too strong for that. He proved it every day by accepting his human life, and wanting to share that life with Zel, as amazing as that still was to accept. The chimera wanted to show him that this wasn’t all that a human life had to offer. This shouldn’t be the only kind of life Xellos would know.

 

“The dress suits you a lot better than it does me,” Zelgadis commented awkwardly to distract him. Sometimes hearing a compliment did wonders for Xellos’ mood. He was still a little egotistical that way. Zel did not mind, of course. Xellos _was_ attractive, it was a fact.

 

“Oh?” Xellos finally lifted his head to offer a small, coy smile. “Then maybe I should keep it?”

 

“Huh? Why?”

 

That strand he had previously curled behind his ear was starting to fall in his face again. “I want to look nice for my Zelgadis.”

 

Zel gently tucked the strand back again, enjoying the muted feel of his hair and the way Xellos still leaned into his touch. “You don’t need some bad dress for that, Xellos,” he told him softly.

 

He could tell by the flush Xellos got that he wasn’t just flattered by the adulation but honestly touched by it. “Shall we join the others?”

 

Zel nodded. “I want my clothes. And my new sword.” He would feel better with a sword in his hand—warrior logic. He disregarded the small jeweled sword Xellos had come in with, leaving it on the bed.

 

“I do hope that the dragon tech was not damaged. It was with Lina-san’s possessions.”

 

“It’s lasted through Lina messing with them; they’re probably fine.”

 

At the inn, they had been given five separate rooms, paid for in full by grateful villagers who were all too happy to take the shrine maiden from their possession. The last Zel saw of her, she was being dragged into the local sheriff’s office, and none of her neighbors seemed all that happy with her.

 

 _Good_. It was because of her that Xellos had gotten upset in the first place. Zelgadis wasn’t going to feel sorry.

 

“So, another fake shrine?” Zel asked, not really needing the answer.

 

Lina nodded anyway. “Yup. On the bright side, there’s only two left. One of them has to have the Claire Bible.”

 

“With our luck, it’ll be the last one we find.”

 

“No kidding. Shit!”

 

At the inn, he was going through his possessions in the room they had been left in, making sure everything was there, when Xellos walked in with his own bag.

 

Obviously, Xellos’ room was not going to be used. What did surprise him was Gourry walking in, looking a little sheepish as he did.

 

“Er, sorry. Lina doesn’t think it’s a good idea to not room together.” The blond flushed. “I’ll still give you guys some privacy.”

 

“You’re too kind, Gourry-san.”

 

After Zelgadis was dressed in his own clothes again, Xellos told him a little more about the shrine, backing up what Amelia had said about the spell earlier. It was not of the Aqualord’s design, or if it had been, it had been converted long ago.

 

Zelgadis did begin to wonder what kind of trap the next fake shrine would have. Thankfully, he hadn’t reacted so drastically to the magic used. He did not feel the weakness he felt after the traps of the previous shrines.

 

The next one was not going to be so easy.

 

“Could it be different because of the fairies?” Gourry asked. They could hear Lina still yelling about the fairies in her and Amelia’s room.

 

Xellos shrugged. “It could have been fairy magic. Not enough is known about them to be sure.”

 

“That might be an interesting avenue of research,” Zel noted aloud, thoughtful. He and Xellos had already talked about the fairies’ mysterious astral powers.

 

His lover looked amused. “You may have to capture one first.”

 

Zel offered him a ruthless grin in response.

 

Xellos giggled. “Happy hunting, my dear.”

 

Gourry left shortly after to get a snack, though likely he wanted to give them that promised privacy. He did not return right away.

 

Zelgadis glanced at the time. It looked like they had lost quite a few hours. It was a couple hours until sunset, but they wouldn’t be leaving the obnoxious village that night. Lina wouldn’t camp out when they could milk a free meal out of some gullible party.

 

Which meant he had time to get one of those fairies, if he hurried.

 

He turned to Xellos, who was only now pulling out his clothes. “I think I’ll try catching a fairy now, since we’ll probably be here until morning. Barring a Mazoku attack. Interested in helping?”

 

Xellos blinked at him. “I would not mind going, but are you certain? It’s close to dinner as it is.”

 

Zelgadis shrugged. “It shouldn’t take long. I’m good at hunting magical creatures.” He really didn’t want to go into details about his misspent youth helping Rezo, and was grateful when Xellos merely nodded. “Come on, get dressed.”

 

“Hmm, I don’t know.” Xellos dropped his purple shirt onto his bag and lay back in what was to be their bed for the night. The material on the shoulder slid down with his movement, revealing more pale skin. He wasn’t quite smiling but his eyes were mischievous.

 

Smirking, Zel shook his head fondly. “C’mon.”

 

“If I must. Unzip me?”

 

“I’ll try.” But getting the dress off Xellos proved to be easier than getting it off himself. As soon as his fingers touched Xellos’ skin, though, he finally registered what the former priest was doing.

 

Xellos was trying to be seductive. It wasn’t ineffective so much as Zel was thinking about some new magical discovery and had gone temporarily dense. Now he noticed, and fairies were suddenly the furthest thing from his mind.

 

Slowly, Xellos began squirming out of the blue dress, pausing when the material bunched around his waist. “You’re sure about this hunting?”

 

Zelgadis swallowed thickly, his mouth suddenly dry. “I’m not married to those plans.”

 

Xellos grinned and Zelgadis left him only to lock the door before quickly returning, slowly peeling the dress down his lover’s legs. He felt comfortable enough to sneak in a few daring touches along the way; feeling the firm mound of Xellos’ ass for the first time, lightly touching his cock to make the other man wriggle in delight. It still felt good to know that he could touch someone—Xellos—this way and not hurt him.

 

He crawled onto the bed with Xellos, keeping his weight off the new human as they kissed.

 

Xellos giggled softly against his mouth, a little breathy sound. “Better than research?”

 

“Yeah, of course.” Zelgadis blinked at him, and then felt like kicking himself as he realized why this was happening right now. He kissed him again, gently. “Xellos, I’m okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

Reddening faintly, Xellos ducked his head so that his bangs hid his eyes. “Yare yare. This is bad if even sex cannot distract you.”

 

Zelgadis was caught between wanting to roll his eyes and blushing, so he did both. “It was what you were keeping me from that gave you away. Since when are you so unwilling to research?” He shook his head again and pet Xellos’ hair. “Besides, it _almost_ distracted me,” he admitted sheepishly.

 

Xellos had been really upset earlier. He was trying to reassure himself that Zelgadis was still with him, still alive.

 

Zel had no problem letting Xellos do that. But now that he knew Xellos was still being troubled by what happened, he wanted to do something about it, something special.

 

Xellos laughed softly. “It’s good to know I’m not losing my touch.”

 

“On the contrary.” He shyly kissed Xellos’ neck, causing his lover to sigh. “I wish I could be inside you like you want.” His blush renewed. “But I can’t hurt you, I won’t.” It was frustrating because he knew how much Xellos had wanted it the day before, and it would’ve been that perfect ‘something special’ that he wanted to do for him. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s alright, dear.”

 

“Not really.” He kissed down the delicate indent of Xellos’ collarbone, earning an even softer sigh as Xellos tilted his head back. “But I’ve got another idea.”

 

“O-Oh?” Xellos blinked at him, eyes already glazed over.

 

Zelgadis smiled and continued kissing downward. It would be his first time doing this too, but he really hoped he got it right and he understood the basics. In theory. No biting, only take in what he could, not enough to make himself gag.

 

It was different performing it physically, rather than imagining it in his head. Xellos seemed to appreciate his efforts nonetheless.

 

-

 

When Zelgadis woke later, there was a weird taste in his mouth and he was tangled alone in the bed sheets. Xellos was already dressed (in male clothing) and setting dinner on the small table in their room.

 

Finding his pants, he quickly slid them back on and sat at the table. Drinking the water Xellos sat down in front of him helped the weird taste fade away. Zelgadis blushed and smiled at him. “You didn’t have to do this again,” he told him, referring to the meal.

 

Xellos smiled. “Gourry-san offered to send it up and I could not turn down the opportunity for another private meal with my Zelgadis.”

 

“You look like you’re feeling better,” Zel noted, flushing.

 

The former priest ducked his head, not quite hiding his eyes. “Ahaha, I am. I don’t believe I thanked you for that. It was very, very pleasant.”

 

Zelgadis blushed brighter. “You already thanked me.” Not with words, granted, but there had been some _very pleasant_ reciprocation.

 

Xellos beamed wryly. “Eat, my dear.”

 

They talked some as they ate, Xellos telling him that Lina was apparently looking over his notes, as she had finally began showing more interest in them. There was a bowl of strawberries on the table, which Xellos had placed on the far end of the table, and they reminded Zel of the last time they had talked about the fruit.

 

 _That child doesn’t exist anymore._ It was still true. The small child who had been rewarded with chocolate covered strawberries as a treat for doing well in his studies, he was long gone. But that didn’t mean that he wasn’t a little more that child today than he had been yesterday. Xellos had given him something back that he hadn’t had in a long time: real hope.

 

He reached across the table and pulled the bowl of strawberries closer, popping one into his mouth and biting off the end. The rush of flavor and juice brought back a flood of memories, some good and bad.

 

Xellos was surprised at first, then he was smiling very widely, and that made it worth the effort.

 

He glanced out the window as he chewed. The sky was darkening. “We might want to postpone fairy-hunting. Not much daylight left, and I don't want to deal with them in the dark.” And he still needed to test out his new sword, so it was probably a good idea to not get distracted from the current crisis. He’d ask Gourry to help him figure out his own blade, since he’d already used his…

 

“Alright, dear.” Xellos fixed himself a fresh cup of tea without taking his eyes off Zel eating the strawberries, not spilling a drop. “This is probably good country for growing strawberries.”

 

Zel nodded thoughtfully. “Seems to have a pretty good climate for it. Most places wouldn't have them this time of year.” It was already very late in the season.

 

He heard Xellos mumble something, and if his hearing hadn’t been so good, he would have missed it entirely. “Good for the garden too. Must remember…”

 

“Garden?”

 

Something about it made Xellos flush. “Oh, merely thinking aloud, my dear. About a garden.”

 

“I don’t understand. Xellos, what—?”

 

Xellos stood and shifted closer, movements uncertain as if he were nervous. His hands flexed as though he wished for his staff to grip onto. “And a cottage near that last village, close enough to be within the protective barrier, but away from people. A cottage with three bedrooms, the two extra being guestrooms. And translating the books so that they could be published for money in order to build said cottage.”

 

The chimera stared at him as he considered his words. It all meant only one thing. “A home.”

 

“Well, yes,” Xellos murmured, still looking uncomfortable.

 

“I haven’t had a home since my parents died,” was the first thing that occurred to Zel. It wasn’t the best response.

 

“I apologize, I'm being presumptuous.”

 

“No,” Zelgadis said quickly, taking Xellos’ hands in his. “No, I’d like that. All of it.”

 

Xellos smiled, relieved. “Oh…”

 

He squeezed his hands. “I’d really like that,” he said more firmly, touched more than he could say, but he wanted Xellos to know.

 

“I’m glad.”

 

Zel stood and they embraced, holding one another close. He smiled as he felt Xellos relax against him. “Thank you.”

 

“There is no need,” Xellos spoke against his cheek. “I've just been thinking about things a lot lately. The future. Our future.”

 

Zelgadis rested his head against Xellos shoulder, careful his wire hair didn’t poke the other man too badly. “Our future.”

 

Xellos easily brushed his hair aside and pressed a kiss to Zel’s ear. “Yes. I would propose, but that's the sort of thing that needs to be done on a special occasion. Nor do I have any ring or other token to offer.”

 

 _Propose_. Zelgadis pulled him in for a deep, tender kiss, enough to make them both breathless. “I didn’t really think I had a future.”

 

Xellos smiled, hands cupping the shaman’s face, thumbs petting stone skin as if his features were beloved to him. “I've never had the freedom to think about it.”

 

“Now, we both do.” Zel kissed him again.

 

“Yes.”

 

Zelgadis kept his arms around his lover as he shifted them back to the bed, to sit while he held Xellos, forgetting the rest of dinner. “We'll have to figure out how far that barrier extends before finding a place to build,” he noted thoughtfully.

 

“There are ways to measure it,” Xellos said, fingering one of the stones on his brow. “It should not prove difficult.”

 

He nodded, still thinking. “And you want a garden. We can mostly sustain ourselves with a good one.”

 

Xellos beamed, looking pleased that his proposition was being taken so seriously. “Yes. I do hope I have a green thumb.”

 

“You want to translate those books we found in the shrine?”

 

“Yes. I figure that I should earn my keep somehow, and the translation is something I know that I can do well.”

 

Zelgadis touched Xellos’ cheek lightly with his fingertips. “You don't have to earn anything, Xellos. It'll be _ours_.”

 

The former priest leaned into his touch with a smile. “That said, publishing a translation of a book written by dragons over a thousand years ago is bound to sell well.”

 

“I know,” Zel assured. “But don't feel like you have to _earn your keep_ with me.” He was worried it was more of that weird submissiveness coming through again.

 

Xellos rested one of his hands against Zelgadis’. “Alright. I just... I want to take care of you, the way you take care of me. Is it not alright if we take care of each other?”

 

“Xellos…” The chimera found himself smiling wider, touched again. “Yes, it is. I've just... usually had to take care of myself.”

 

“This will take some adjusting for us both,” Xellos said, pressing a kiss to Zel’s nose that had him going a little cross-eyed.

 

“At least it's a positive change to get used to,” Zelgadis murmured in gentle amusement.

 

“This still seems unreal to me.”

 

“Me too.”

 

Xellos smiled, tossing his hair a little, looking a little more like his old self, but still so different. “But it is real. We’ll make it real.”

 

Zel leaned in, pressing his lips against Xellos’ softly. “I’m glad.”

 

He pulled Xellos on top of him, and for awhile there was far less talking.

 

 

TBC. Thanks for reading!


	18. To the Aqualord Shrine!

-

 

Chapter Eighteen: To the Aqualord Shrine!

 

-

 

“Boy, am I glad to get away from that last village!” Lina stretched her arms above her as she walked. “Freaky people.”

 

That morning, though no bill was asked for, it was clear that the villagers wanted them to leave. The only ones happy on the street had been the children, who ran around playing as though they had been unable to in a long time (which, all too likely, they hadn’t).

 

“A little too interested in cross-dressing,” Zel grumbled. He was still upset at being used by the villagers, put under a sleeping spell, and for Xellos getting upset. At least he and Gourry had had time to look over his new sword that morning, while on the road.

 

“I would not have minded being the princess,” Xellos remarked.

 

“You’re fulfilling Lina’s sick fantasies, you know.”

 

“Who says Lina-san will be around when I’m the princess?” Xellos asked coyly.

 

Zelgadis blushed deeply, but before he could even formulate a reply or remind Xellos to keep that kind of talk quiet until later, but Lina just kept the banter going.

 

“I could make you into a princess for real, you know,” she said, throwing a dangerous glower his way.

 

The chimera felt himself wincing, but his lover just frowned at Lina.

 

Then redhead stuck her tongue out at him. Xellos returned the gesture. Zelgadis saw they were both trying not to smile at each other and relaxed.

 

Just like that, things were back to normal. Lina had accepted them, Xellos had forgiven her (or at least stopped imagining ways to get back at her).

 

“Are we babysitting again?” Gourry asked Amelia.

 

“I hope not,” Amelia responded, lips twitching.

 

Xellos overheard. “Oh, my. Lina-san was such a terror. Still is, really.”

 

“What was that?” Lina growled.

 

“You were pretty bad.” Zel shrugged. He wasn’t happy by the reminder of little Lina, or of all the things she said. “At least you’re not running Amelia ragged now.”

 

Amelia sighed and mumbled, too softly for anyone but Zelgadis with his heightened senses to hear, “No, but she’s tiring me out in different ways.”

 

Zel blushed and stayed silent. It figured that Lina could do nothing in moderation.

 

The path they followed was shaded by trees on either side, and as it was still cool, there was a gentle breeze. Xellos walked close to him, staff tapping lightly on the ground, and there was a happy smile on his face. Part of Zelgadis still kept a lookout for attacking Mazoku, but he couldn’t help but also partly pay attention to the banter and how peaceful Xellos seemed.

 

The night before, they had talked about an actual future. Not just the general idea of staying together, but tentative plans about what they would do after this. Zelgadis felt pretty happy himself just remembering it.

 

They spotted the next village after a little over an hour and Lina went on ahead with Amelia. Zel, lost in thought and already mentally designing the layout of the cottage, almost missed Xellos’ teasing comment.

 

“Oh my. It’s hard to tell whether Lina-san is more interested in food or spending time with Amelia-san, now.”

 

“FIRE BALL!”

 

Having been prepared for an attack, though not friendly fire, Zel immediately put up a magical shield. The attack bounced off the shield harmlessly and the chimera frowned at Lina. He had been about to forgive her for before, but this was going too far.

 

“Lina! In case you forgot, that would actually hurt Xellos now. He’s not your Mazoku punching bag anymore.”

 

Xellos pouted and muttered, “I was not a punching bag,” the same time Lina grumbled, “Well, he should stop with the teasing!”

 

Zelgadis felt his brow twitch. “Xellos teases everyone, Lina. It’s not new. Xellos, you teased Lina all the time just so she’d react violently. Don’t deny it.”

 

Lina huffed and continued walking while Xellos laughed softly. “I suppose that’s true,” he admitted. “However, she truly did overreact this time.”

 

Zel sighed. He could hear Amelia scolding Lina softly ahead of them. “Just be careful.”

 

His violet haired lover rubbed his arm soothingly. “I apologize, Zelgadis-san. Lina-san and I need to work on how my new state has changed our interaction, I suppose.”

 

The shaman nodded and let it pass without further argument. He was aware that Xellos did not actually promise to work on their ‘interaction’ but Zel thought his lover wouldn’t jeopardize his life on purpose.

 

Their fearless, self-proclaimed leader took them into the newest village, finding a restaurant with that discerning way she always did. (Lina claimed she could “sense” which restaurant was best, but Zel thought she just picked the ones that she saw first.)

 

Zelgadis sat at one of the small tables. Their group had to be divided between two and Zel wasn’t at all surprised when only Xellos chose to sit beside him. Smiling softly from behind his mask, he ordered coffee and a light lunch when the waitress arrived. Xellos ordered similarly, with tea.

 

Their drinks arrived first. Zelgadis was talking quietly about other ideas for the cottage he’d gotten during the walk, not wanting the others to overhear just yet, when Xellos suddenly frowned at his tea.

 

“Oh dear.”

 

“Hm?”

 

Xellos hissed, emitting an uncharacteristic snarl. “Everyone, stop now!”

 

Lina’s mouth was full of complimentary crackers. “Whash?”

 

The purple-haired man sat down his teacup gently, the china clinking softly. “This is getting ridiculous, even for us. We must start preparing our own meals.” He looked at Zel, eyes hooded and angry. “Poison.”

 

Zel frowned down at his mug of coffee. “I don't feel anything. What kind of poison?”

 

“Mazoku.” Xellos looked around the restaurant, as if he could find their unknown assailant, but they were ignored by the villagers. “It won’t take long before we are under its control.”

 

The shaman stood. “Control? How is that possible?” What kind of poison could do that?

 

At this point, many of the other patrons began to chuckle or moan. Some fell out of their seats.

 

“It’s in the water; our drinks, the food it was cooked in… Deep Sea Dolphin…” Xellos frowned deeper and clenched his fists. Zelgadis had rarely seen him so angry and it was frightening all on its own. “My goodness. I didn’t drink much, but it’s already taking effect…”

 

Amelia held her head, looking alarmed and a little pale. “I don’t feel so good.” Lina touched her shoulder worriedly. Gourry tried to stand and slumped to one knee pretty quickly instead.

 

“I had some coffee,” Zel noted, “but I don’t feel it.” All he felt was worry for his friends. There had to be something they could do.

 

Xellos seemed to be struggling with words. “Your constitution is… unique, so… perhaps…”

 

Zel touched his shoulder. The only thing keeping him from pulling Xellos into his arms outright was them being in public, and just barely. “Xellos, is there an antidote?”

 

His lover blinked at him slowly. “Time. It’s… not fatal… to the person who ingested it…”

 

To the person who ingested it? Zelgadis was about to ask for clarification, when Lina stood abruptly, knocking her chair over as she began chanting a Fireball spell.

 

“I’m not going down without a fight!” she snapped, pink eyes darting around the restaurant.

 

Zel glanced around for any sign, something to reveal their assailants, but there was _nothing_. “I don’t sense them.”

 

“They won’t show themselves until we’re com—completely taking over,” Xellos struggled to say. He didn’t look as sick as the others. He was pale and sweating, but moreover, he looked so _angry_. Positively infuriated. “Zelgadis, quickly, you must…”

 

He trailed off and went completely silent, lowering his head and his hair falling in his eyes.

 

Zel, still holding his shoulder, squeezed gently. “Xellos? Xellos!”

 

Xellos moved abruptly, with some of his former preternatural speed, and grabbed a fork from the table. Zelgadis didn’t even have time to react before his lover tried to stab him. The utensil, of course, bended against his skin and did no harm whatsoever, but the action was enough to shock Zel away from him.

 

“Xellos!”

 

Dropping the fork, the man leapt, somehow managing to tackle Zel to the ground (mostly because it was so surprising). His hair in disarray, he hissed through clenched teeth, “Sleeping! Now!”

 

He wanted Zel to cast Sleeping on him? “But--!” he gasped, horrified. He didn’t understand what was happening, why Xellos was so angry and attacking him.

 

“NOW!” Xellos shouted.

 

He gathered the power around him and cast Sleeping over all those around him. Immediately, the manic and hateful expression on Xellos’ face melted away, and the former priest slumped limply on top of him as he, like the others, fell under the Sleeping spell. Zelgadis gathered him into his arms and held him close, confused and worried.

 

What the fuck was going on?

 

All was silent around him, until mocking laughter broke the stillness. Finally, he felt the bloodlust that he associated with most Mazoku encounters. (Even, periodically, with Xellos in his former state.)

 

Zelgadis realized belatedly what Xellos had struggled to tell him, before falling under the strange control of the poison. This Mazoku ‘poison’ worked as some sort of mind control, once it was inside a human’s system. The human body was made up of a large percentage of water. It made sense for a Mazoku based in water to somehow find a way to control humans because of it. That was likely how the creation of this strange poison came about.

 

Of course, as Xellos had tried to say, Zel was different. He was not entirely human.

 

It made him angry, and not just at their attackers. To be once again saved by the physiology, his curse, that he so hated—it was intolerable! He hated to be so dependent on his stone skin and supernatural strength, speed, and agility. In the end, it had been almost exactly what he had asked for, the wish that his grandfather had granted (though it was only to further his chimera research).

 

The price had only been his humanity.

 

 _Until now._ Zel caressed Xellos’ face briefly before his sat his lover gently on the ground. He took out his new dragon sword, on his guard.

 

These Mazoku would pay for hurting Xellos.

 

It was still not visible when it spoke again. “Poor little Xellos. He was always so stubborn. It would have been very amusing if he'd just given in. He could have woken up to found he'd killed you!” This was added with a maniacal giggle.

 

“Coward!” Zel snarled angrily, giving the appearance of having little control over it. Meanwhile, he kept searching, trying to pinpoint where it—or they—were.

 

More laughter. “Tell me, chimera. Will you put the whole town to sleep?”

 

That was all the warning he got as more villagers began stiffly walking into the restaurant, trying to squeeze and often crawl over each other to do so. Men, women, children—and their movements were strange, as if they were all truly marionettes. Or zombies. Thankfully, they didn’t _smell_ like zombies.

 

“If I have to, I will.” He waited until they surrounded him, swaying unnaturally, all but grasping at him, before casting, “Sleeping!” again.

 

“Then this could get rather tedious,” said the faceless Mazoku. “We'll have to go after you ourselves...”

 

Suddenly, three Mazoku appear and blasted him out of the building. He flew through the air, making his own exit through the wall, and landed in a fruit stand across the street. Zel struggled to his feet, waiting for them to draw near and keeping hold of his sword.

 

He sped at them, having speed of his own, and swung at one with his sword. The Mazoku, unsuspecting, didn’t bother to dodge. He thought the sword was just an ordinary sword. Zel only had a moment to fear the Mazoku had nothing to be afraid of anyway when a cut appeared on the monster’s body.

 

“Wha-What?!” It gasped, clutching at itself.

 

Zelgadis grinned ruthlessly, swinging again, making another cut. Simultaneously, he sent a Ra Tilt toward another of the three Mazoku.

 

This one was smarting. It dodged, disappearing into the Astral Plane, reappearing to send a blast of chaotic energy toward him. It was quick, he barely had time to dodge, but as he rolled away he was already casting another spell.

 

“Elmekia Lance!”

 

This time, when it dodged, it didn’t notice it was right in front of the Mazoku that Zel had previously cut. It just stood there, bemoaning its pain, and didn’t see the arc of white light before it was too late. Already weakened, it could only cry out as it died, fading away.

 

Zel had tried to keep all three in his line of sight, but when he looked up again he noticed the one that had yet to move was gone. There was no warning as sharp talon-like appendages slashed through the rough skin of his back.

 

“Argh!” he cried, swinging at the attacking Mazoku blindly.

 

The third dodged easily. It was a thin, wispy sort of Mazoku, with long black hair that hung in its eyes, wet and slimy. Its arms were also long, so long the sharp talons reached the ground. The talons, of course, were now dripping with his blood.

 

“Poor little chimera,” it crooned. “It seems that that’s all you’ve got. A pity, we would have liked to toy with you more, to see just how strong you are. But I suppose that won’t be necessary. We’ll just be taking that interesting little toy you have.”

 

Zelgadis tightened his grip on his sword, despite the pain. “Try and take it.”

 

It was reckless, but he had to beat them. The others—Xellos—were depending on him.

 

The third motioned at the second, which came after him. It was less humanoid than its leader, so that was in Zel’s favor, at least. The less human-shaped they were, the weaker the Mazoku.

 

He bent over, as if he were in a lot of pain—which he was—and the Mazoku didn’t come after him as quickly as it should.

 

It giggled and paused, tilting Zel’s face up by his chin. The touch was cold and burned, making Zel feel dizzy. “Are you sure we cannot play with this one first?”

 

Zel swung fast. It tried to get away, but it wasn’t fast enough to avoid getting sliced clean through the middle. It disappeared with an inhuman cry of pain.

 

This only made Zelgadis feel dizzier and he fell to his knee. His vision swam, but he forced his mind to stay focused. One more left. It was smarter than the other two, but Zel just had to be even better. He had to.

 

Xellos. Their cottage, their future. _He had to._

 

The remaining Mazoku snarled. “Little pest. You’ll pay.”

 

“No,” said another voice. “But you will.”

 

“What?!” It whirled in surprise, or tried to, but the movement was already too late.

 

Xellos stood in what remained of the restaurant’s entrance, after Zel had smashed through the wall. He had a ball of red energy in his hands, and the rest of his body glowed from some sort of amplification spell.

 

“Ra Tilt!”

 

The Ra Tilt was faster and stronger than usual, hitting the Mazoku before it had fully turned toward him.

 

“Y-You!” it gasped.

 

Xellos leaned heavily against what remained of the doorway, panting. “Begone. We are bored with you.”

 

The Mazoku faded and died like its brethren. Only then did Zel relax, but as he slumped, the pain in his back increased. “Xellos…”

 

He wanted to stand and go to his lover, who was awake and seemed to be of his own mind once more. But his exhausted and hurt body just didn’t want to respond. Instead of rising, he just slumped further to the ground.

 

He thought he heard someone yell his name, and then a cooling sensation along his back, before he lost consciousness completely.

 

-

 

When he woke, it was in bed and he was staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. There was only a lingering pain in his back and he could hear Lina and Gourry talking softly to one another.

 

Zelgadis sluggishly forced his head to move so that he could take in his surroundings. He was in a small room, where he and his friends were all cramped inside. Lina sat at the desk, fiddling with the three Ryuzoku weapons they had found. Gourry was sitting near the table, sharpening his new sword. Zel’s own was hung on Gourry’s chair, as if the blond was looking after it for him. Amelia sat slumped over his bed, her head on the mattress as she slept. Xellos was slumped similarly to her, closer to Zel’s elbow. It looked as though he had both of them to thank for his relative good health.

 

“Ishev—” Zel cleared his throat before trying again. “Is everyone okay?”

 

Lina grinned. She looked tired, but no longer pale. “Yup. We’re fine now.”

 

Amelia woke instantly. Her short hair was in disarray. “Zelgadis-san, you're awake! Can I get you anything?”

 

“Water,” he croaked. “Preferably no poisoned.”

 

Amelia smiled as she reached for a pitcher. “Don't worry, Xellos-san showed us how to clean the water.”

 

“And he knew a nifty spell for countering that stupid poison,” Lina put in. “You just have to be asleep when its cast. I guess he cast it on himself just before you put him to sleep. Tricky little bastard, isn’t he?” She grinned wider. “I’m glad he’s on our side.”

 

That was probably as close as Lina would get to saying Xellos being human was a good thing.

 

The man in question whimpered, their voices waking him. “Zelgadis…?”

 

Zel reached out, touching his hand. “I’m awake.”

 

“Zelgadis!” he gasped, reaching for his hand immediately, their fingers twining. “I'm so sorry I attacked you. I tried to fight it...”

 

The shaman offered his lover a tired smile, squeezing their fingers. “I know. You probably saved my life when you killed the last Mazoku. I don't think I could've.” Maybe he could have, if he had managed to pull a rabbit out of his hat. He was almost as lucky as Lina.

 

Xellos pressed his head to Zel’s stomach. “I was so worried. You lost a lot of blood.”

 

Zel petted his hair was his free hand, feeling the soft purple locks. “How long was I out?”

 

“It’s about an hour from sunup now,” Lina said around a yawn.

 

“That long?” Zel was surprised. “It was lunch when they attacked.”

 

She nodded. “Yeah. You were pretty bad off. If Xellos hadn't started healing you immediately, well… Sylphiel isn’t here to cast a Resurrection, you know.”

 

“I didn't realize I was that badly hurt,” Zel mumbled. He had slept for hours and was still tired, so it made sense now. It was because of his wounds.

 

“Probably the adrenaline rush,” Lina agreed. “Don't worry about it. Amelia and Xellos got the worst of it, and your normal preternatural healing should take care of the rest. The villagers are letting us stay here for free since you saved them too. But if the Mazoku know where we're heading now, we shouldn't stay too long. Rest while you can.”

 

Zel nodded. He finally took the cup Amelia was holding out for him and sipped gratefully, the cool water going down his dry throat. “They wanted to toy with us, to make Xellos kill me.”

 

“I would have gone mad with grief,” Xellos murmured and Zelgadis resumed petting his hair.

 

“That's what they were hoping for, I think. But you resisted. They only attacked when they realized I was just going to cast sleeping on the townspeople they sent after me.”

 

“And with three against one, the odds were in their favor.”

 

Yes. Way too close for his comfort. “On the bright side, the sword works well,” Zel told them softly. “It'd have been worse if I hadn't had it.” He described how easily the sword had cut through the Mazoku, much like the lost Sword of Light in a lot of ways.

 

It was then that he noticed he wore a pajama top that did not belong to him—likely provided by the inn’s managers—and sighed.

 

“I'm going to have to get a new shirt, aren't I?”

 

“You still have the one we got in the other village,” Amelia reassured.

 

“Right.” That was something at least. Zel shifted slightly, but his back didn’t even twinge. He was just really tired still. “Need more sleep.” And likely would remain so until he fully healed.

 

Zel tugged lightly on Xellos’ hand. “C’mere,” he said, not caring that the others were in the room with them. He wanted the former priest close.

 

Xellos smiled softly and climbed into the bed with him, not getting too close—obviously still worried about his injuries. Zelgadis tugged him closer stubbornly, not caring about any pain, and Xellos obeyed. Only then was he able to relax and fall back to sleep.

 

-

 

Lina rolled her eyes as the two grown men snuggled together and her—girlfriend?—Amelia pulled a blanket over them.

 

She still wasn’t completely sure about Xellos’ motives, but she was a little surer today than yesterday. Tricky bastard or not, he’d saved her life once again. More importantly he had saved Amelia and Zel. She owed Xellos big time for that one.

 

“They gonna be okay?” Gourry whispered after a time.

 

“They just need to rest,” Lina told him just as softly. She was grateful that she and Gourry had escaped another near death experience, though it was a little odd that neither of them had actually been directly involved in the outcome.

 

Amelia fussed with the blankets covering Zel and Xellos for a few minutes before finally moving away from the bed. She stretched her arms above her head. “How are you coming along with those weapons, Lina-san?”

 

“Eh.” She shrugged. “I think they were meant to amplify magic in some way.” Apart from that, she really couldn’t say much about how they worked. The trouble was, as clever as she was and as many unusual magical devices she had seen in her life, this was way out of her league. She didn’t want to admit that, of course.

 

Amelia came over to rub her arm gently. “I'm sure you'll figure it out.”

 

Lina blushed at the touch. What they had was different than the boys and she still wasn’t sure about the future. Lina was, however, willing to see where it would go and not run away. Amelia deserved better than that.

 

The princess went on. “The shrine here was destroyed, but the next one will definitely be the real one.”

 

Lina nodded. “That's a relief. I hope we find something useful.”

 

“I’m sure we will.”

 

“I hope so.” Lina couldn’t help but glance at the bed. “This trip better be worth it, after all this.”

 

Amelia kissed her cheek, making her blush more. “You should rest too, Lina-san.”

 

Lina sighed. “I know. I just wanted to make sure…” And she couldn’t help but want to work harder on these weapons. She really thought they would be the key to saving their hides this time.

 

Amelia smiled. “They’re fine. Gourry-san and I can stay up, just in case, if that makes you feel better. Now, sleep.”

 

There was no arguing with that tone. Lina sighed again and unrolled her bedroll on the floor. It wasn’t strictly very comfortable, but she was used to sleeping on the ground, and fell asleep quickly.

 

-

 

It was hot the next day, and they did not start early, waiting for Zel to be fit for travel. The heat had drawn out bugs, particularly mosquitoes. They particularly seemed to be attacking Xellos and Zel often chased them away with a small wind spell.

 

Xellos smiled wanly, the wind also relieving the heat for a moment. “Thank you, my dear.”

 

“There's probably some sort of standing water around here for them to be this bad,” Zelgadis sighed. With his skin, he did not have this problem, but that didn’t mean he felt no sympathy for his lover. Not only that, but mosquitoes were known to spread all sorts of nasty diseases that he wouldn’t like to see Xellos getting. “Like a swamp of some kind.”

 

“I'm glad we'll be living further north of here,” Xellos murmured, eyes shining briefly.

 

Zel smiled and cast another wind spell, this time a version he had seen Lina use on occasion that combined with elements of a water spell to create a cool breeze. He sent this at the former priest.

 

“Ohh.” Xellos smiled wider, the created wind fluttering his hair. “You’re so sweet.”

 

“No need for you to feel uncomfortable,” Zelgadis told him, a little smugly. He really enjoyed making the other man feel good.

 

Xellos pressed closer to kiss his cheek and Lina, walking a few paces in front of them, cleared her throat.

 

“No sex in the bushes,” she said with an impish grin. “They look like they're poison ivy anyway.”

 

Zel glared but steered Xellos away from the bushes regardless. He knew the former priest would be miserable with poison ivy.

 

Despite exchanges like these, their journey down the long abandoned path had gone quiet, the easy companionship that their group normally had replaced by watchfulness. None of them wanted to be taken unawares again. The faster they reached the real Aqualord shrine, the better.

 

Unless Xellos was wrong and there was really nothing in these hills. In that case, they were in bigger trouble than they knew. But none of them wanted to think about that outcome just yet.

 

So instead of talking, Zelgadis kept his lover close with an arm around his waist, swatting the mosquitoes away with spells, until Lina called from ahead once more.

 

“Hey, I think we’re here.”

 

Zel looked up the path. Through the foliage, he could make out the shape of an old and neglected building. Though its outer walls had probably once been white and pristine, the surrounding forest had encroached upon it, aging the color and architecture. It was crumbling in places, the roof entirely caved in. His heart began to sink until they got closer and he saw that the shrine had been built into the side of a hillside. It was possible that some of the inside was still intact. If so, perhaps the Claire Bible was still there…

 

Beside him, Xellos shivered. It was surprising because it was so hot.

 

“Oh my. I think this is definitely the one.”

 

Zel glanced at him, trying not to feel hopeful. “Oh?”

 

Xellos nodded. “I can sense the Water Dragon Lord's presence. It's nothing something you forget easily.”

 

Lina stepped closer to them. “Wait. Here?”

 

“It felt the same around the tablets and the real Claire Bible,” Xellos explained.

 

“But you said _presence_.”

 

“The Claire Bible is what remains of the Aqualord. It feels like him.”

 

“Aqua-baachan was in both places,” Lina murmured in a considering tone. Zel looked at her curiously but she only shook her head. “Let’s go.”

 

Xellos pulled away from him as they approached the door, and Zel let him go, though unwillingly. Lina proceeded inside with them just behind her. The inside did not look much better than the outside. A musty smell permuted the space, and vines grew up the walls, which were also crumbling and cracked. He was pretty sure he saw a rat or squirrel scurry along the floor before it hid out of sight.

 

The further they went inside, the darker it got, and they had to use Lighting spells to see. Likely they were underground as soon as they left the entrance hall, walking deep into the hillside.

 

“Lina, duck!” Gourry shouted not long after they had entered.

 

Lina dived and rolled, narrowly missing arrows that shot from the walls.  Zel moved just as fast, tackling Xellos to the ground and protected him with his body, but was almost immediately off of him, afraid he had accidentally hurt his lover.

 

“You okay?” Zel asked, helping Xellos sit up.

 

Xellos was flushed but he didn’t wince in pain, which was a relief. “Yes, I’m fine,” he confirmed and kissed his cheek.

 

“Good. Lina?”

 

“Fine,” the redhead grumbled, standing and dusting her pants and mantle off. “Thanks, Gourry.”

 

“Sure.” The swordsman looked around dubiously. “So, this is booby trapped too, huh?”

 

“Looks that way. I can’t even tell what set it off. Motion sensors, maybe…” Lina rubbed her chin, frowning. “If so, there’s no way to avoid it, so just be ready and watch each other’s backs.”

 

The next one was a trap door that Amelia somehow triggered, after Zel, Xellos, and Lina had already walked over it. She would have fallen in if Gourry had not grabbed her in time. Zel turned back to help Gourry haul her back up.

 

“Amelia!” Lina gasped, running back.

 

Amelia forced a smile once she was back on her feet. “I’m fine. That just gave me an idea though.” She reached into her coin purse and brought out a handful of gold coins., which she began tossing along the floor. They rolled down the hallways in loud clatters.

 

“Amelia,” Lina hissed, looking pained. “Stop wasting money!”

 

“Then find me something else to toss, Lina-san,” Amelia responded in a perfectly reasonable tone.

 

In order to avoid an argument, Zel searched the floor until he found some pebbles to use instead. The others followed his example, carrying handfuls of rock and crumbled mortar as the proceeded.

 

Nothing happened for a long time, and that began to worry them in a different way. Lina called them to another stop.

 

“The rocks may not be heavy enough,” she said.

 

Zel nodded. “We could set off something anyway.”

 

“What do we do?” Gourry asked.

 

“We could use wind or water spells to set them off instead,” Xellos suggested. “It’ll waste energy, though. If the Claire Bible isn’t here, then we are unprotected against Mazoku and it would not be wise to meet them while weakened.”

 

Zel cursed softly and tried to think. His heel only shifted a little, but when he felt the stone under him move, he realized his mistake.

 

He fell to the floor and knew only pain as some mysterious force tore through his entire being. All he could do was scream and writhe.

 

-

 

“Zelgadis!” Xellos tried to step toward him but almost as soon as the chimera had begun screaming, he felt the magic go over him as well. There was no pain, but he felt his body changing. Into what, he was not sure, but it was not human. He was vaguely aware of this being much like when they had switched genders and when Zelgadis and Lina had become children.

 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before the sensation was gone and he was staring up at a familiar, wizened face.

 

“Aqua-baachan!” Lina gasped somewhere near him.

 

Aqua, the physical respresentation of the Claire Bible’s knowledge, smiled. “Hello, Lina-san.”

 

Zelgadis. He remembered Zelgadis _screaming!_ Xellos forced his limbs to move, grateful to find them once again normal after the brief transformation. He crawled quickly to Zelgadis’ side.

 

The chimera was on the floor, unconscious, and gave no response other than a pained whimper as Xellos checked him over. He didn’t seem injured, but would not wake up. Lost for explanation, he looked at Aqua. “What is wrong with him?”

 

“The spell attempted to change his physiology,” said the visage of an old woman. “It would have succeeded but for the power behind the spell that created him.”

 

“That again.” Xellos sighed. If it was exactly like last time, Zelgadis would need rest. He asked Aqua for somewhere comfortable for them to rest and she pointed them down the hall. Gourry helped him carry Zelgadis down the darkened hallway.

 

At least they would not need to be worrying about the Mazoku for the time being.

 

They came upon a large room with an ornate, domed ceiling. Aqua pointed to a curtained alcove, which had a bed inside along with some provisions. Xellos and Gourry set Zelgadis’ substantial weight down upon the bed.

 

Aqua spoke again. “My power cannot undo what the Red Priest did with the power of Shabranigdu.”

 

Xellos closed his eyes, fists clenching. So it was true, this was why Zelgadis had been reacting so severely to the transformations. “I see. But, tell me... Is there any part of Shabranigdu in his soul? Is that why these transformations cause him pain?”

 

She shook her head. “No. He was exposed to the power through Rezo, but he is not a shard.”

 

Relieved, Xellos sagged until he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Then the rest will be bearable.” As long as he could keep Zelgadis from losing his sanity, at any rate. His reaction to Rezo’s trapped soul telling him that there was no cure for his chimeric form had not been very good.

 

Because Aqua was not a person, merely a form that the Claire Bible took. If she said that she had no way to heal Zelgadis, she meant _as the Claire Bible._

 

And, just for a dose of personal irony, if he had still been a Mazoku, he could not have stopped the others from seeing the Claire Bible because of the nature of the shrine’s protective wards. True, the structure was decrepit and falling apart, but he doubted that even a priest of his former caliber could have destroyed the shrine.

 

“Will he be okay?” Amelia asked.

 

“He will be fine after a long rest,” Aqua assured with a smile. “Lina-san, I believe you have some questions for me?”

 

Lina nodded. “Yeah.” She looked at Xellos. “Goes without saying that you’ll take care of him.”

 

Xellos nodded firmly and he was left alone with his chimera, keeping a silent vigil until he woke up.

 

-

 

When he regained awareness, it was slowly, and for a few moments all he was aware of was how his body ached.

 

 _Mental note: Must stop passing out._ Twice in as many days was not fun and kind of embarrassing for the ‘heartless sorcerer swordsman.’

 

“Awake, dear?”

 

Turning toward that familiar voice, Zelgadis was relieved to see that Xellos was well. He was lounging beside him on the bed, reading a book, the title of which he couldn’t make out from his angle laying down.

 

“Xellos?” he croaked groggily and winced. He sounded terrible.

 

Xellos emitted a sympathetic noise and handed him a cup of water. “Here, drink.”

 

He did, all too happily, and weakly tried to sit up against the pillows piled under his head. They were inside a little domed alcove where the bed took up most of the room. There were small shelves filled with books, canned goods, and the water.

 

“What happened?” he asked.

 

“It seems another spell was triggered, similar to the ones before but stronger. It reacted to Rezo's spell rather severely. Aqua-san was able to heal you, however, and set us to rights as well. You'll likely be feeling weak for another day.”

 

“Aqua,” Zel echoed blankly. “She's here?”

 

“Oh, yes. She and Lina-san are conversing now with the Claire Bible.”

 

Yes! Zel felt his lips curl up into an elated smile. “I actually found it.”

 

At last, he would get a shot at learning the Claire Bible’s secrets. He could learn how to shed his stone skin and become human again. He and Xellos could be together without fear that he would hurt him.

 

“Zelgadis…” Xellos paused whatever he was going to say, eyes downcast.

 

The chimera smiled gently and touched his hand, assuming his lover was just feeling guilty about earlier. “I'm okay, Xellos. Just really weak.” And as soon as he felt better, he was going to seek out Aqua.

 

Xellos reached up and touched his cheek, his palm warm. “I’m glad, but that's not it. You see, Aqua-san said... She said the reason you've been reacting so badly to these spells is that they have been trying to cure you.”

 

“They were?”

 

Xellos nodded. He took a deep breath and looked strangely frightened. “She also said... that there was no way for her to undo what Rezo did with the Dark Lord's power.”

 

It took a moment for the words to sink in, and he stared into Xellos’ sad eyes as he took in the words. It didn’t seem real. There was never a time, since his transformation, that he had truly given up. Even after what Rezo had told him, however unlikely, he had still wanted to keep searching. Hoping that Rezo was wrong.

 

But if the wise and powerful remnants of the Water Dragon Lord of the North said there was no way to undo it—that was it. It was over. The Claire Bible was his last lead, his last option.

 

“No.” His throat felt thick, his eyes hot, and he put all his focus into trying not to cry.

 

Xellos caressed his cheek, making soothing noises, and Zelgadis shifted closer to hide his face in Xellos’ chest.

 

His lover wrapped him in his arms, holding him tightly. “I’m sorry, Zelgadis.”

 

He was shaking, breathing in short gasps as he struggled with his grief, to keep it inside and be strong. Just like he always tried to do. “I’m stuck like this. Rezo was right.”

 

Xellos rubbed his back firmly enough that he felt it. “It will be alright.”

 

And something about hearing that broke through Zelgadis’ reserves. He sobbed as quietly as he could into Xellos’ chest, his entire body shaking, and his lover held him through it all. He occasionally murmured something soothing, but otherwise just let him cry it out. Xellos stayed and held him through it all.

 

Xellos. _Xellos_. Zel sagged against him and felt the pain inside begin to lessen into something duller and weirdly recognizable.

 

He couldn’t be human again and that hurt, it hurt so much. But it wasn’t the end. It wasn’t a death sentence, it only changed their plans a little bit. There was still a happy ending waiting for him, because Xellos wasn’t going anywhere. Xellos was there, alive and human and holding him. Everything else would work out eventually.

 

“At least I have a future... with you...”

 

He could hear a smile in Xellos’ voice. “Yes, dearest. I promised, remember? I will always be here with you.”

 

“Then I haven’t lost everything.”

 

And it was true.

 

 

TBC.


	19. Get Ready! Prelude to the Final Battle

-

 

Chapter Nineteen: Get Ready! Prelude to the Final Battle

 

-

 

When Zelgadis woke next, Xellos was asleep beside him. He was on his side facing the chimera, and locks of his cropped hair were in his face, as his hair always seemed to if he didn’t mind it. Zel reached over to lightly brush the strands away, caressing Xellos’ face, which was also getting scruffy from not having shaved recently. He could hardly feel the texture against his fingers, but knew Xellos would be self-conscious about it when he woke up.

 

Xellos made one of those soft, sleepy sounds and Zel pulled him closer, kissing his forehead.

 

The former priest’s eyes fluttered open slowly. “Zelgadis?” His voice was low and tired.

 

“I’m here.”

 

Xellos nuzzled, then pulled away slightly and felt his chin, noticing, as predicted, the stubble. He grimaced. “This may be a silly question, but how are you feeling?”

 

“Not great,” Zel answered honestly, not wanting to lie.

 

“I’m sorry,” Xellos said again, rubbing his back, eyes concerned.

 

“I’ll be okay,” Zel told him, also not a lie. “You’re with me.”

 

Xellos smiled faintly. “Yes. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, my dear.”

 

“Good.” Not giving any warning, he pulled Xellos back down for a deep kiss. “I love you, Xellos,” he whispered against his mouth.

 

“Oh, Zelgadis,” his lover sighed, smile wide and warm. “And I you.”

 

It was the first time either of them had said the words. Xellos had freely said, _‘I care for you’_ before, and Zel himself had alluded to it as much as his self-preservation allowed him to.

 

It made him feel a little better, but his chest still felt heavy, still upset about Aqua’s news. He would never be human again.

 

A warm hand touched his cheek, and Zel looked back up into Xellos’ sad expression.

 

“I do love you,” Xellos softly sounded out the words, as if it were an effort to do so. “I always have.”

 

“Xellos?”

 

Xellos smiled awkwardly and let his face go. “Apologies. I am human now, but it’s still hard breaking with some habits. I need to get used to actually saying _the word_.”

 

Oh. Zel hadn’t really given it thought, but he supposed a Mazoku saying, “love” in any context, but especially when referring to oneself, would be very strange. Not only that, but it was something that Xellos had been struggling with for awhile, like with the incident the other night. The former priest had confessed his feelings when he thought Zelgadis was asleep.

 

“It’s okay,” he told Xellos. “I know you do.” It was the main reason he wasn’t still curled up in a ball of misery at the moment.

 

Xellos smiled and finally gave into his urge to groom. Taking some of their remaining water and pouring it into a basin, he pulled out his razor and a small mirror, meticulously beginning the process of shaving the stubble without leaving the bed. Or him. Zel was grateful and sat back to watch his lover perform an ordinary activity.

 

“Thank you for telling me privately,” he said softly. “I’m glad you’re the one who told me.”

 

More fluid flicks of the blade across his face, accompanied by the sound of the razor cutting the fine hairs. He used a towel to catch the shavings that he didn’t with the razor. “You’re welcome. I would have gotten angry if anyone else had tried, but it also hurt to tell you myself. That sounds almost like a contradiction, does it not?”

 

Zel smiled fondly, curling his arm behind his head as he stretched out. Still sore from the last spell, he could not move much more than that. “I know what you mean, and I know it was hard. I’m grateful.”

 

Xellos smiled before tilting his chin up and beginning the slow process of carefully cutting along his neck. “Then I’m glad I was the one.”

 

After the shaving was complete, Xellos then tried to do something with his hair, which Zel believed looked fine but the former priest believed was oily and flat once again. His purple eyes darted toward the curtain that partitioned their little alcove from the rest of the shrine, murmuring about a shower, but Zel didn’t let him get that far.

 

Just watching was fine, almost perfect in fact, but he still wanted to _feel_ him too.

 

He grabbed Xellos by the waist and hauled him closer, earning a surprised giggle from his lover. He felt Xellos’ bright smile as they kissed and pressed together.

 

Maybe he had to give up on being human again, but he didn’t have to give up _this_. This thing that he had with Xellos was still here, and very real. The eager contact reassured him and went a little more to helping him feel better, though the sadness he felt was still very near.

 

Zelgadis was just having thoughts about getting the former priest out of his clothes when soft voices outside reminded him they were not strictly alone. Xellos made a disappointed sound as their kisses slowed down.

 

“Later,” he promised, giving pouting lips another soft peck.

 

Xellos smiled, but he could see the disappointment around his eyes. “Yes. It would best to wait for an actual door, wouldn’t it?”

 

He kept his purple haired love close as he settled back on the pillows. “What did that spell do to you guys?” he asked, changing the subject.

 

“I believe I was a kitten,” Xellos confided with some amusement. “I felt very catty. Gourry-san was a turtle, Amelia-san a puppy, and Lina-san a crab.”

 

Zel snorted softly. “She is, isn't she?”

 

“Oh, yes,” Xellos giggled softly.

 

He slowly relaxed. They talked quietly for a little longer until his eyes began to flutter sleepily.

 

“Sleep,” Xellos urged gently, kissing his forehead and rubbing his arm.

 

So lulled, Zelgadis gave in and closed his eyes. Despite it being on his mind, he did not dream about Rezo or his nightmarish transformation.

 

-

 

Once Zelgadis’ breathing had evened out and Xellos was sure he was asleep, he slipped out of bed and their alcove to the hallway beyond. There were other such rooms lining the hall, some of which his friends had been using to sleep in, and in the middle was an old fashioned burner. This was used to heat food and keep the sleeping areas warm. There was a hole cut up in the ceiling all the way to the surface of the hill, to let out the smoke, but it was still thick in the air. The scent of food offset it a bit.

 

He found Amelia sitting near the fire, tending to a pot over the small fire.

 

“Are Lina-san and Aqua-san still in the Claire Bible chamber?” he inquired, assuming Gourry was in one of the alcoves resting.

 

“Yeah,” said the princess. “Is Zelgadis-san okay?”

 

Xellos offered a faint smile. “Not yet. But he will be. Is there something light for him to eat? He does not eat much in the best of times, and I do not believe he could handle a lot right now.”

 

She smiled. “I’ll bring it to you.”

 

Xellos inclined his head appreciatively and returned to Zelgadis’ side, sitting at the bed. Amelia came in with two bowls of soup.

 

“It’s from our supplies,” she whispered. “Lina-san wants to get to a town when he’s recovered.”

 

He nodded. “Thank you, Amelia-san.”

 

After she left, Xellos hesitated, not sure if he should wake Zelgadis if he was still tired, but the chimera stirred on his own.

 

“Amelia-san fixed us soup,” Xellos explained, smiling.

 

His heartless sorcerer swordsman moved with some difficulty as he sat up again. “Smells good.”

 

Xellos propped the pillows up behind him so that he was comfortable, then handed him one of the bowls. He sat next to Zelgadis with the second and they ate quietly for a time.

 

“Our supplies seem to be getting low,” he said eventually. “Lina-san wants to get to a village as soon as you're recovered.”

 

“Lina’s own fault, I’m assuming.”

 

Xellos laughed quietly. “That would not surprise me.”

 

“Nor me.” Zelgadis sighed and set down his spoon, rubbing the back of his neck. “It might take me a little while to recover,” he admitted. “That spell hit me pretty hard. I'd just rather not set out without being ready to fight.”

 

“I’ll speak to the others later,” Xellos promised soothingly. “Perhaps we can gather food from the forest. Wild game, fruit...” He trailed off as he gathered up their dishes and returned them to Amelia, thanking her for the meal.

 

-

 

Zel watched Xellos take their dishes back out to Amelia, and when the former priest returned he added, “They're going to hit us harder next time.”

 

“Yes,” Xellos agreed softly, troubled. He didn’t seem surprised, as if he were already thinking about it and had assumed the same.

 

Zel leaned against him as Xellos settled back on the bed. “We'll need to be ready. I'm betting Lina already figured that out and is working on those weapons.”

 

“I believe that is what she’s working on with Aqua-san in the Claire Bible chamber.”

 

That was a relief. Hopefully Aqua had some ideas on what to do with the strangely shaped devices. “Hopefully she's getting some useful information out of it. We're going to need the weapons if we're going to go up against the remaining Lords.” Xellos frowned, staring down at his hands, and Zel grew concerned. “You okay?”

 

Xellos nodded slowly. “I am… merely wondering what my master is up to these days. It’s nothing. I apologize for getting off subject.”

 

Zel frowned at him. “You’re not. It’s okay to be concerned about it, Xellos. Personally, I hope we don’t have to fight her. It'd be a lot better if she stayed out of it.”

 

The former priest fingered the material of his black pants. He had decided to mix up his wardrobe today and wore his purple shirt with it. “Yes.”

 

“For you, I mean,” Zel clarified, touching his hand. Xellos looked up again in surprise. “I know you'd help us take her down if you had to, but it wouldn't be easy on you.”

 

“It is… difficult to explain in words.” He looked away again. “She was a nearly constant companion for all my life. One thousand years. Even though I was not always by her side, I could feel her presence wherever I traveled to. A link bound us together, because she was my creator. She is… a very certain and strong-willed person, which can be reassuring to someone such as I, who has occasionally had doubts. Now that presence is gone. I think that if I miss anything, it is her.”

 

Zel squeezed his hand, not sure what to say. He didn’t think he could really understand, ever, the kind of connection Xellos was talking about. His parents had died when he was very young and Rezo had never treated him as family, even in the days when he’d trusted the bastard. Rezo had left much of his caretaking to Rodimus the swordsman and Zolf the sorcerer, Zelgadis’ only friends before he learned to trust Lina and the others.

 

Rodimus and Zolf had been dead for five years now, and Zel still missed them. His earliest lessons in swordplay and shamanism were from them. Rezo had never been big on lessons either. While he had spared Zelgadis a few moments of his time, it was only long enough to see that his grandson was studying hard. Then the Red Priest was off on his crusade/search for a cure for his eyes.

 

He sighed quietly. He wished he could remember his old friends without remembering _that man,_ but everything from those years was colored by what Rezo had done to him.

 

Xellos turned his hand, twining their fingers, and smiled. “It will be alright. I can think that way now.”

 

“It will be,” Zel agreed firmly, brought back to the present. “I mean, we're together. That's how I know.”

 

Purple eyes sparkled happily. “I'm glad you think so too.”

 

Since Zel preferred not to be bedridden, he decided that despite still being tired and in pain, he would try standing. Xellos suggested that he only walk into the outer room and Zelgadis swung his stiff legs over the side of the bed. He took a deep breath before forcing himself up.

 

Despite how strong his chimeric form usually made him, sometimes even he woke up too sore to move. A reoccurring habit caused from one too many adventures with Lina, actually. The last time it had been this bad was with the Ghost of Shabranigdu. Since the dragon magic yesterday had felt like it was ripping him apart from the inside out, it was not surprising that it was this bad.

 

Xellos stayed close, wrapping an arm around his waist, but Zel only let his lover support him a little bit. As a human, Xellos wasn’t strong enough to keep him on his feet should his strength give out.

 

He managed to take make it to the doorway, his steps slow and painful, which caused Xellos to worry.

 

“Perhaps this is too much right now,” the former priest said.

 

He leaned against the stone doorway, pausing to catch his breath. “Just outside, right?”

 

They continued, but Zel only managed a few steps before he sagged hard to his knees. Xellos cried out softly and went with him, trying to keep the chimera up but not strong enough.

 

“Sorry,” Zel croaked out, gasping, the pain increasing. Walking was perhaps not a good idea after all, like Xellos said. He didn’t look forward to crawling back to his bed.

 

Stupid Rezo.

 

Then suddenly Gourry was there, grabbing onto his other side. “Hey, Zel. What’s going on?”

 

“I’m okay,” Zel managed through the pain. “Just need a minute.”

 

He could feel Xellos gently petting his face. “I should not have let you, it was too soon.”

 

Leaning into his touch, Zelgadis sighed. “Not your fault, I wanted to. I’m a grown man.” He closed his eyes, ashamed but dizzy. “Going to need some help getting back.”

 

“Sure.” Gourry, being much stronger, helped Xellos get him back to bed, Zel’s own strength mostly useless in the endeavor.

 

Zel sank gratefully back into the bed. “Thanks, Gourry.”

 

“S’okay. Rest for now though. There’s no rush. I’ll tell Lina you’re in here when she’s done.” With that, Gourry stepped out, closing the curtain to their alcove.

 

Zel slept for a time, his short exertion wearing him out. When he stirred from his nap, he discovered Xellos once again in the bed beside him, now with a pile of old books. From the look of it, they were not the books that were already in their little niche. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he softly asked what they were.

 

Xellos reached over, absently petting his hair. “Aqua-san is strangely supportive of my plans for a future career in translating, so she is giving us a few more.”

 

He hummed, pleased but still really tired. “Lina's going to have to wait a while before we go anywhere, I guess.”

 

Xellos kept petting him. “Lina-san will just have to deal with the disappointment.”

 

“If the Aqualord hadn’t been here, that spell might’ve…” Xellos’ expression became troubled, and he trailed off.

 

“I know,” Xellos said, setting aside the book he was reading and shifting closer. “Try not to dwell on it.”

 

Zel leaned against his chest, kissing him lightly through the fabric of his shirt. “I'm still really sore; it's taking a while for my body to heal.”

 

“I with there was something more I could do.” There was frustration and worry in his voice.

 

The admission made Zel smile and relax. “You are. I feel better with you around.”

 

“I’m glad.”

 

Someone cleared her throat outside the curtain, and Lina poked her head in. “Is he awake?”

 

“Kind of,” Zel murmured, answering for himself.

 

Xellos sat up, shifting Zel back to the pillows. “Gourry-san said you wished to speak to us?”

 

“Yeah,” said she. “Took a while to get all the information I wanted. You okay, Zel?”

 

“I will be,” the shaman answered tiredly. “It might take a few days, though. Xellos had an idea about hunting for food in the forest around the shrine.”

 

The redhead sighed, blowing her red bangs out of her eyes. “We might have to. Gourry said you barely made it from the bed into the hall.”

 

“Wasn’t easy to get that far, either,” he conceded. “Find out anything important?”

 

Lina brightened at the topic change. “Yeah. The weapons work now. They amplify magic, like I guessed. There's a catch though. They also feed off your energy in order to work.”

 

“Oh my.” Xellos curled a hand under his chin thoughtfully. “I can see how that wouldn't be precisely viable for normal sorcerers.”

 

“Yeah. Apparently they killed a bunch by draining everything. I’m working on that.”

 

The former priest smiled. “Well done, Lina-san. I had the utmost faith in your expertise.”

 

She flushed, obviously flattered by the praise. “Well, I am the beautiful sorcery genius, yanno!”

 

Zel rolled his eyes, though not unkindly. It was just Lina being Lina. “You were gone a long time. Did you spend the whole time with those weapons?”

 

The girl yawned widely. “Mm, yeah. I think I'll get a bite to eat and take a nap.”

 

“Only a bite?” Zel joked weakly.

 

She casually flipped them off and stepped back outside, leaving them alone once more.

 

“She seems to be in a better mood,” Xellos giggled.

 

Zel hummed in agreement and rested once more against his lover, his head on Xellos’ shoulder. “M’falling asleep again.”

 

“That’s alright, dear. Rest.”

 

He did, gratefully slipping back into slumber.

 

-

 

A week of bed rest later, Zelgadis was better. He was able to get around the shrine easily, and had even gone outside a few times. The pain had haunted him at first, making movement difficult, so he had largely stayed in bed. It had been boring, even with Xellos nearby finding ways to entertain him (and not the kind that involved being naked, due to their lack of privacy).

 

He was sitting on the bed again with Xellos, resting before their journey back to Avalo, the village with their shrine and protective barrier, and where they hoped to live. Xellos absently ate from a bowl of berries and nuts, immersed once again in one of the books Aqua had given him. He read fast and in the week they had been there, Xellos had gone through most of them already.

 

“We going to carry those back to Avalo with us?” Zel asked softly. Xellos never minded when he disturbed his reading, though the former priest had a habit of tuning the rest of the world out.

 

“Gourry-san and I can,” Xellos answered negligently. “You’re still recovering.”

 

He resisted the urge to sigh. “I've recovered, Xellos. Otherwise we wouldn't be planning to leave, even if Lina's basically cleared the entire forest of anything edible.”

 

“Yes, I know.” Xellos smiled and fed him a bright red raspberry. “But you must promise not to push yourself.”

 

Zel relaxed. It was nice that Xellos worried about him, even though he wished he gave his lover less to worry about. “Have you talked to Aqua?” he asked. Everyone else had but his lover and he wondered about it. She had spoken to him at length about what exactly Rezo had done to his body and spirit. A hard conversation, but it oddly helped.

 

“Not yet.” His fingertips were red from the fruit and they traced his lips.

 

Zel smiled slightly, closing his eyes and suppressing arousal. They had exchanged touches like this all week, but with the others so close, real intimacy had had to be put aside. “I'll be glad when we have a little privacy.”

 

Xellos fed him another berry. “Me too.”

 

The chimera smiled as he chewed, seeing the simmering heat in Xellos’ glittering eyes. He didn’t mind this kind of teasing so much, because he knew Xellos wanted it just as much.

 

“Of course, if we're very quiet, maybe they won't notice!”

 

He flushed and glared mildly. “ _Xellos_.”

 

Xellos giggled and winked, but let it drop.

 

They pulled away, both of them reluctant, but they needed to pack. No one wanted to be caught out after dark without the protection of Aqua’s shrine or the barrier in Avalo.

 

Zel was just pulling on his cloak when he was grabbed and pulled into a firm kiss. Xellos pressed him up against one curved wall and stayed close, but that was as aggressive as he got.

 

“Xellos?” He touched his cheek, confused.

 

Xellos sighed heavily. “I apologize, my dear. I fear that I am worried, and tension is coiling in my stomach.” He placed his hand over his abdomen as he spoke, and there were worry lines on his fine features. “I have a… bad feeling of sorts.”

 

Zelgadis pulled him close again, this time for a deeper kiss, his tongue sliding into Xellos’ mouth to make the former priest purr and melt against him. They were panting softly when their mouths parted again, but they stayed close for a few minutes.

 

Xellos put up a really good act when he wanted to. Zel had had no clue he was this worried about their trip back to Avalo.

 

He pressed their foreheads together so that they were nose to nose. “It’s going to be okay.”

 

Xellos smiled slightly and rubbed their noses, a gentle slide of flesh against stone. “Alright.”

 

“And don’t apologize for worrying, Xellos. It’s not something to be sorry for. Being afraid is just another part of being human.”

 

“I don’t like it.” He could hear the pout in his voice.

 

Zel laughed softly and kissed him again. “I know. None of us do. We just bear with it.”

 

“I see.”

 

Lina was smirking when they emerged from their alcove. “Finally up, I see.”

 

“Yeah,” was all Zel said to the obvious statement. “Everything set?”

 

“Yup. Come get something to eat and we'll head out.”

 

The five of them ate a small meal together around the fire. Aqua did not join them, as she was ethereal and did not need to eat. They talked about the weapons again, which Lina managed to weaken the draw on their magic to the extent where it wouldn’t kill them, but they still needed to be careful.

 

Amelia asked how he was feeling and Zel smiled at her, assuring her that he was much better.

 

“Wonderful.”

 

Most of them, apart from Xellos, jumped at Aqua’s unannounced entrance. He just kept on drinking his tea as if nothing was strange.

 

Zel shook his head. He supposed that was why Xellos had never gotten along with Filia, aside from their natures – they were, in some ways, very much alike. Not that he would ever tell either of them this observation. He did have some preservation instincts.

 

Aqua smiled at him. “I apologize again, Zelgadis. I could only stop the effects and heal the worst of the damage. If there was more I could do, I would.”

 

“It's alright. If you hadn't done that, I wouldn't be here at all now.”

 

The small woman nodded and turned to Xellos. “Xellos-san. You started out on this journey with one purpose in mind, but found another. Do you have any regrets?”

 

The purple-haired man snuck a glance at him. “No, of course not.”

 

Aqua seemed pleased. “You have changed.”

 

His lover flushed prettily. “I suppose it was bound to happen eventually.”

 

“It is not that simple. Mazoku cannot change as you have.”

 

Now Xellos frowned. “That's always been the trouble with Shinzoku, if you'll pardon my speaking so boldly. You always see things in black and white. We are not all the same. I cared for these people long before the curse.”

 

“I meant no insult, Xellos-san.” Aqua was amused. “Dragons, also, cannot change so drastically.”

 

He shrugged carelessly. “You could argue that one among them has. Filia-san found a generosity and compassion I've rarely seen in Ryuzoku.”

 

Zel’s eyes widened. He’d never heard Xellos speak so kindly about Filia. He wondered if he should check his lover for a fever.

 

Aqua noticed it too. “That you would say that shows how much you have changed.” She beamed at him. “It is good that you have no regrets, as what has been made cannot be unmade.”

 

“… Pardon?”

 

Zel frowned and looked between them, confused also. What was the old woman talking about?

 

-

 

“Your soul, Xellos-san,” she elucidated.

 

Xellos blinked slowly as he put the threads of thought together, trying to understand what she was getting at.

 

Oh, of course. He was not merely trapped in his human body, as Gaav had been, caught in an endless reincarnation cycle until his humanity purged his Mazoku spirit completely. The Curse of Humanity was created by Mazoku and was not meant to be so kind. He had now what most Mazoku would consider a great hardship—he had a soul.

 

Once a soul was made, it could never be unmade. A human life could end, but the spirit did not get destroyed. Death only changed the composition, but the soul lived on, passing into the great beyond or continuing a natural reincarnation cycle.

 

A soul was not something that could be taken away, unless a demon bargained with it.

 

He said these things out loud, carefully, to be sure he got it. “That is what you're saying, yes?”

 

She looked pleased again. “Precisely.”

 

His beautiful chimera was confused. “What?”

 

“Humans are under a different set of rules than Mazoku or Ryuzoku,” Xellos lectured gently. “Though they are living creatures, they are subject to the desires of their race. Humans, however, are allowed to follow their own set of rules. They are subject to free will. A Mazoku or Ryuzoku can become human, if one can find a way, but the reverse may not happen.”

 

Zelgadis nodded. “So you're human permanently. I get that. But if you're not like Gaav, why is Dolphin attacking?”

 

Xellos shrugged. “I would assume she misunderstands the spell. I did.”

 

Lina sighed loudly through her teeth. “Somehow, I doubt she would listen if we tried to explain.”

 

“So you don't have a choice, Xellos-san?” Amelia asked, touching Xellos’ elbow in concern.

 

He smiled and petted her small hand gently. “Don't worry, Amelia-san. I had already decided to remain human.” He had only told Lina and Zelgadis so far, but he did not believe the others would mind.

 

“So we’ll have to fight them,” Gourry noted. He didn’t seem particularly bothered by it, but he rarely was about most things. Except heights and Lina’s crazier schemes.

 

“I do apologize for the inconvenience, but,” he glanced at Zelgadis again, “there are things I cannot bear to lose now.”

 

Lina jabbed her elbow against his arm gently, playful. “Eh. I'm not worried about it. I'd say it's worth fighting for.”

 

Xellos smiled at his dear chimera. There was nothing he could say to argue with that, nor did he want to. They reached for each other under the small table, hands touching.

 

“Right!” said Amelia. “It’s not an inconvenience, Xellos-san.”

 

He looked at all of them in turn, his humans that he had grown fond of despite his best efforts. None of them looked willing to abandon him now and Xellos smiled more, his bad feeling lessoning slightly. “Thank you, everyone.”

 

Gourry smiled. “You and Zel deserve to be happy.”

 

“Hm, Zelgadis more than me, I should think.”

 

“You deserve it just as much,” Zelgadis spoke softly, squeezing his fingers gently.

 

Xellos was surprised, but before he could argue, Amelia interrupted. “You can't expect Zelgadis-san to be happy if you're not!”

 

He forced a smile. “I am happy.”

 

It was true, though whether he truly deserved it or not was another matter. He had done things as a Mazoku, some things they knew, and many others they did not. But it was a matter left for another time.

 

Amelia gushed and Lina shook her head in amusement.

 

“Gotta say, Xellos, I'm not sure that ‘Curse of Humanity’ is properly named. For you and Zel, it’s been more like a blessing.”

 

“Definitely,” Zelgadis concurred, squeezing their fingers again.

 

Xellos smiled at him happily. Maybe whether he deserved it or not wasn’t the issue, so much as just accepting the gift that fate had chosen to give him.

 

“Now you can both live,” Aqua said with a mysterious smile, “instead of just surviving.”

 

Xellos raised an eyebrow, while Zelgadis looked much more surprised. He gave his hand a reassuring squeeze, figuring he could explain later about how the Gods, while not truly all knowing, did occasionally have some actual insight.

 

“I give you all my blessing. Safe journey, my young friends.”

 

And then she was gone. Xellos knew they would not be seeing her again until the next time they returned to this place.

 

They doused the fire and prepared to leave. Since they did not have new swords, it was agreed that Lina, Amelia, and Xellos would use the dragon weapons. She showed them how to use them quickly before they left.  

 

Lina had changed the shape slightly as she worked on them. Instead of a simple triangular shape, now they were shaped vaguely like stars. The change, she explained, was in order to keep the devices from outright killing them. They were still dangerous to use, just less so. It likely would not drain them completely if they were careful, nor blow up in their faces as it amplified their power to convert to holy magic.

 

“Probably,” she added as a disclaimer.

 

Xellos nodded, understanding her need for more vigorous testing that current circumstances were not allowing.

 

There was a backwoods path that would lead straight to Avalo, or so their map claimed. It was more than a little off the beaten path, but they didn’t have much of a choice if they wanted to get to the village before sundown. They could have normally used Ray Wing to travel quickly, but once again, they needed to conserve their strength.

 

So they would walk to save energy.

 

They left the shrine, their way blissfully free of booby traps. Xellos stayed close to Zelgadis, for it was not dragon traps that he was worried about.

 

He glanced back once at the shrine before they entered the forest, offering a silent thanks to the Water Dragon Lord. The shrine’s protection had given them their longest rest since this whole adventure began and his chimera especially had needed it. He dreaded to think about what might have become of Zelgadis otherwise.

 

Of course, the mosquitoes returned, and sticking close to Zelgadis meant his chimera noticed them and shooed them away as kindly as a week ago. He almost told him not to because it was a distraction if Zelgadis was once more focused on him, but he could tell that his lover was indeed keeping a lookout. Both with his eyes and his senses.

 

It was Gourry, however, with his uncanny ability, who sensed the danger first.

 

“Something’s coming,” he said, pulling out his sword.

 

Xellos stiffened a moment later. He recognized this presence.

 

“Hello, Dolphin-san.”

 

TBC. Please review if you read.


	20. A Light That Knows No Despair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I’d like to remind everyone that while scanlations of Knight of Aqualord exist, we haven’t read them. So Riksfalto and Huraker are not in character due to a lack of familiarity. This will likely not be corrected at a later date, as I would like to get to work on the sequels to Search for the Aqualord.

-

 

Chapter Twenty: A Light That Knows No Despair

 

-

  

Deep Sea Dolphin was a being shrouded in mystery. It was possible that she was the Mazoku Lord that the world knew least about.

 

She resided over the Demon Sea, the body of water created in the Shinma War, and held up the south east portion of the Mazoku barrier before Hellmaster was defeated. Though not many knew of it even now, a small band of sorcerers were responsible for calling on the powers of the Lord of Nightmares and killing the Mazoku Lord Hellmaster Phibrizo, thus breaking the barrier.

 

It was that event that directly led to their battle with Valgaav, the Mazoku-Dragon’s unholy merging with the Dark Lord of another world, Dark Star, and of their fight now. It was Phibrizo’s death that Lord Dynast Grausherra was avenging by casting the Curse of Humanity on Xellos. Little had they known the true part Xellos had played in the whole ordeal; or rather, his master, Greater Beast Zelas Metallium. To get back at Greater Beast, Dynast had waited until the perfect moment, then struck at Xellos when he least expected it. His human friends had been used as bait to lure him into the trap.

 

Now, he would never again be a Mazoku. He would live out the remainder of his days as a human.

 

Not content with this, however, Dynast had spread the word of what he had done, and now Deep Sea was out to kill the abomination that she saw a human Xellos to be, just as the Lords had with Chaos Dragon Gaav. Chaos Dragon was cursed similarly by the Ryuzoku, in the conclusion of the Kouma War a thousand years ago. But the Curse of Humanity worked differently, and Xellos was not exactly like Gaav. Gaav had retained part of his Mazoku spirit inside his human body, while Xellos kept only his memories of his life as a monster. The spiritual energy he did possess now was strictly that of a human’s, though he seemed to have the makings of a sorcerer in league with Lina Inverse and Zelgadis Greywords.

 

Xellos wasn’t a threat to the Mazoku, like Gaav had been, but it was doubtful that explaining that to Deep Sea would do any good. What reason did she have to believe them?

 

Three young women appeared in the forest in front of them. Standing in the middle was a woman of regal bearing that seemed to come as naturally to her as breathing did to everyone else. Her large eyes were very blue and strangely gentle, like the rest of her face. She had long hair that flowed down her back and a dress that looked delicate to the touch. Both were decorated with an assortment of pearls in different colors and shapes. She was, without a doubt, one of the most beautiful women Zelgadis had ever laid eyes on.

 

“It’s actually her?” he asked softly.

 

Xellos nodded, his gaze never leaving the woman. In contrast to her soft eyes, his violet ones had gone hard and serious. There was fear there too.

 

Noticing that did not make Zel feel any better about what was happening. He shifted closer protectively to his lover and studied the other two women.

 

He recognized them from Xellos’ descriptions. The one with sea-green hair was Riksfalto. She had the appearance of a young, muscular woman wearing light armor, and one of her blue eyes was closed due to a disfiguring scar. This was Dolphin’s general and she bore a large, three-pronged sword.

 

Her counterpart was Dolphin’s priest, Huraker. The top hat and overcoat she wore were reminiscent of shrine priestesses of the past, possibly modeled after some long forgotten religion. Her features, just as beautiful as her master’s, were without malice.

 

If he had passed by any of them in the street, though they appeared strange, he never would have taken any of them for a Mazoku. If not for the feeling of bloodlust in the air, strong enough to choke on, he wouldn’t have known _now_.

 

“It seems you have finished fooling around,” Xellos noted in a strained yet cheerful tone.

 

Riksfalto smirked wide. “Right, you traitorous liar. You’ve never been well-liked by other Mazoku anyway, so it’s not like it’s a great loss.”

 

Xellos placed a hand over his heart. “I’m afraid you are mistaken, Riksfalto-san. I may evade the truth and deceive people, including my friends, but I have never lied.” He didn’t deny being a traitor or that the other Mazoku didn’t like him, Zel noticed.

 

“What’s the difference?” she demanded.

 

“Oh my. I believe it is something I’ve tried to explain to you before, Riksfalto-san.”

 

“And I still say you’re a liar!”

 

Xellos sighed and focused back on the Mazoku Lord. “Please, Dolphin-san. Let these others go. There's no need for this.”

 

Anger surged in Zel and he glanced at the determined look on his lover’s face, meeting it with one of his own. “I'm not leaving you.”

 

Xellos did not spare him a glance. His eyes remained fixed on the beautiful Lord’s.

 

Dolphin tilted her head thoughtfully. “Perhaps. But they are too easily manipulated, by us and the Gods. In the past five years, they have destroyed a piece of our lord, not to mention my brothers, and then there was that embarrassing incident with Dark Star. There is a danger in that kind of Light that knows no despair.” She stepped back. “Kill them all, my dears.”

 

Riksfalto was the first to strike, bringing her strange blade up and swinging fast at Xellos’ head, too fast for him to move, but Zelgadis was ready. He parried the blow and cast a Ra Tilt directly into her bare abdomen.

 

“Zelgadis,” Xellos murmured warningly as Riksfalto tumbled to the ground, rolling head over heels, hitting foliage.  

 

He readied another spell, not wasting time to glare at Xellos again, though he wanted to. He wanted to grab the former priest and shake him silly. “Don’t ever ask me to abandon you again, bastard. We’re in this together. We promised each other a future so you can’t just give up when the situation isn’t that dire yet.”

 

Xellos hummed softly and hefted his dragon weapon. “My only excuse is that love can be an unusual motivator.”

 

Zelgadis dropped the matter for later. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Amelia and Gourry fight against Huraker. Lina was standing back, away from the fighting. Zel hoped that the Mazoku could not guess what she was up to, like he could. Riksfalto was getting grumpily to her feet.

 

“Those are unusual objects, Xellos-san,” Dolphin spoke up again. She was sitting on a tree stump, looking exactly like a fragile and sophisticated noblewoman. “Dragon?”

 

“I am human now, Dolphin-san,” Xellos answered, his eyes on her green-haired servant. “The Aqualord does not mind offering me his aid.”

 

“That’s cheating!” Riksfalto yelled, throwing dark energy toward them.

 

Zel threw up a magical shield and grabbed Xellos around the waist, pulling him out of the way. Dust flew every which way and for a moment, he lost sight of Riksfalto.

 

Xellos gasped in his ear and a sudden Ray Wing had Zelgadis flying off into the trees, cutting a path through them with his unyielding body.

 

Grabbing hold of a sturdy one, Zel threw the wind spell off him, and saw Xellos barely evading Riksfalto, his supernatural speed long gone. The idiot had tossed Zel away to protect him.

 

“Xellos!” he yelled, growling, and brought his hands up. “Elmekia Flame!”

 

Riksfalto saw the Shamanic spell coming and as she evaded, Zel flew back to the scene, intent on protecting Xellos despite the former priest’s efforts to the contrary.

 

“Zelgadis!” Xellos cried, and Zel caught sight of his terrified expression before the pain hit him.

 

He barely felt the ground when he fell. His entire world was filled with crippling agony beyond description.

 

-

 

He had assumed Dolphin would not interfere so soon and Xellos cursed his negligence, watching the dark energy cascading over Zelgadis’ body like rippling currents. Through the chimera’s sheer force of will, he refused to drop his blade while he was overcome with pain.

 

Before he could save his lover, Lina was already moving. A long blade of chaotic energy was in the small girl’s hands as she went flying at Deep Sea.

 

“Master!” Riksfalto cried and got in Lina’s way. Noble though her intentions were, she did not anticipate the strength of Lina’s Ragna Blade, which sliced her sword arm clean off. Her arm and blade disintegrated, flowing back to the Astral Plane.

 

Riksfalto fell to one knee, grunting and holding her stump, energy steaming out of it and into the air. “Nngh…!”

 

Xellos frowned as Lina struggled to hold onto the Ragna Blade, even as it drained her. She was using her dragon weapon to somehow keep it together, as she had done with the Sword of Light before, but it was still hard on her.

 

He needed time to think. He needed a plan. Running into these situations without a plan was what had nearly gotten him killed last time, when he had defended his human friends against the Ghost of Shabranigdu. It was true that the Greater Beast had absolutely no interest in a world where the ghost of their Lord existed, but she had never ordered him to go to such depths to keep Lina and the others alive long enough to destroy it. Rather, it was Xellos’ own plan to nudge his friends along the right path, to set them up to fight against the resurrected Rezo and Dark Lord.

 

At the time, he could not imagine that there was an evil they could not defeat. He believed in their power, believed in them enough to put his life on the line. Lina accused him of going too far and she was right. He almost died.

 

He believed in them still, in that light that knew no despair. He believed in them enough to die for them.

 

Xellos closed his eyes and gripped the weapon in his hand tighter. Slowly, a reckless plan began to form.

 

-

 

Zelgadis ordered his pained limbs to **_move_**. This was nothing, he told himself; he had born worse pain. Rezo changing him had done worse than this. The others were counting on him and so he had to keep fighting! He had to be strong!

 

He harnessed his will and his arm moved. He brought his blade up and skewered Riksfalto through the abdomen.

 

She cried out weakly and began to evaporate, from her stomach first, then as the nothingness spread slowly. As if the light of the sword was infecting her.

 

The pain was suddenly gone and Zel almost sagged to the ground in blissful relief. Free of the hurt, he could think and move easily again, and panted harshly for breath.

 

The reason the pain was gone, he noticed as he raised his head, was because Dolphin had broken it off to pull Riksfalto to safety. She cradled her hurt general in her arms as if she were something precious. Zelgadis did not have time to marvel at this revelation, however, as the Lord looked up again, meeting his gaze.

 

Her slitted eyes were filled with hate. “No,” she whispered. “No more.”

 

He didn’t have time to dodge, and neither did Lina. When Dolphin attacked again, they were both caught in the blast.

 

The chimera fell to the ground once again. This time, he could not keep hold of his sword. Lina cried out in pain, losing her grasp on the Ragna Blade, and all he could do was writhe in the dirt.

 

-

 

Gourry sent a wave of holy magic from his sword toward Dolphin. Huraker was there in a millisecond, breaking off her fight with Amelia to block the attack.

 

“I apologize,” said the priest with a cute smile. “Your fight is with _me_.”

 

But Dolphin was distracted, worrying about both her servants. Xellos finally made his move.

 

He brought his weapon up and used it to cast an amplified Ra Tilt at her.

 

The grunt Dolphin made when she blocked the blow was only partly gratifying. She frowned at him. “Does this one mean so much to you, Xellos-kun?” She motioned to where Zelgadis was still twisting on the ground. There was a trickle of blood on the corner of his mouth. Even as she spoke, she kept up the attack on him and Lina.

 

The sight made Xellos’ own blood boil and he struggled to remain collected. His plan was rash enough without his emotions making it worse. “I am too heavily invested in these people to let even one of them fall now.”

 

“How interesting.” She set the whimpering Riksfalto down. “I wish we had time to discuss this further, but I’m afraid this ends here.”

 

To his utter amazement, Zelgadis moved again. Despite the horrible pain he must have been experiencing, he raised his hands at the now unprotected Riksfalto.

 

“RA TILT!” his chimera cast through clenched teeth, eyes bloodshot and wild with agony.

 

“Ah!” Riksfalto screamed as Xellos and Dolphin watched. She had no more energy to defend herself, not after the holy blade filling her with magic that was the antithesis to her existence. “Master!”

 

And then she was gone.

 

Xellos gaped at other man. “Zelgadis.”

 

Zelgadis gave him a weak, pained grin. “I’m okay.”

 

Still shocked by his lover’s impressive show, Xellos did not react at first. Dolphin did.

 

In an instant, she was kneeling down next to his chimera, her slender hand wrapped around his throat. She was lowering herself to a physical attack in her anger, and Zelgadis could only grasp at her arm uselessly as he struggled to free himself, to breathe. His blade was still out of reach.

 

No more time for hesitation. Having a clear shot, Xellos put all of his energy into his dragon weapon. She was too close to Zelgadis for him to use a powerful Black Magic spell like the Dragon Slave. He needed something finer, and he would succeed even if it took all his energy to do it.

 

 _“Zelas Brid!”_

 

-

 

Held down as he was, Zel could only watch as Xellos began to glow with power, his hair and cloak stirring from it, and the dragon weapon in his hands turned from inky black to a burning red. As the spell Xellos cast arced toward Dolphin, who raised her other hand to block it, he also saw Lina move.

 

The redhead grasped his lost sword and swung at Dolphin, catching the Mazoku lord in the arm. Distracted, Xellos’ attack hit her dead on.

 

The hand gripping him let go as she fell. Zel had no time to enjoy it, or being able to _breathe_ , because he saw Xellos collapse to the ground as well. His love did not move to rise again and was deathly pale, his chest still.

 

He had drained himself. Just like Lina had warned him _not_ to do.

 

“Xellos,” he heard Lina murmur. “You went too far again, you idiot.”

 

Fury filled him in a rush, pure and irresistible, as strong as any hatred he had ever felt for Rezo. As Dolphin raised glowing hands to throw some sort of attack at them again, Zel chanted fast.

 

“Ra Tilt!” he screamed, and sent another right after that, barely giving her time to block them. “RA TILT!”

 

Dolphin actually stumbled back, looking surprised, and Zel snatched his sword from Lina’s limp hands. The girl tried to snatch at him, but she was too weak from the Ragna Blade and he easily shook her off. Blood rushing in his ears, he charged after the Mazoku Lord, swinging his blade madly. He was dimly aware of the incoherent screams coming from his own mouth, but it was unimportant. All that mattered was seeing this Mazoku destroyed.

 

“Peace, child,” he heard a deep, feminine voice in his ear, and suddenly the strength in his arms was gone. The energy his rage had fueled him with all but evaporated. He almost dropped his blade again and swung around, but the person was already walking away from him.

 

“Sister,” Dolphin gasped, as she too stared.

 

It was a tall woman, taller even than Gourry, with short blonde hair and curves that rivaled Sylphiel’s. Her pants clung tight to those shapely hips and she had on some sort clingy breastplate.

 

Even Huraker stopped attacking Gourry and Amelia at the woman’s appearance, giving the two humans a momentary reprieve as she stared.

 

Zelgadis had no doubt in his mind who this was, especially when she glanced back and favored him with a purple-eyed stare.

 

This was the Mazoku Lord that had plotted so much of their lives in the background. This was she who dwelled on Wolf Pack Island, the guardian of the southernmost edge of the Mazoku barrier.

 

She knelt down on one knee, her movements fluid as she reached down and touched Xellos’ pale and vulnerable neck.

 

“No!” Zel ran toward them, gripping his sword tight.

 

To his utter amazement, she pulled her hand away, after doing nothing. “He is alive, Zelgadis-san. You can relax.”

 

He stopped short and stared at her in confusion. “You…” He hesitated, thinking he should speak to her more politely and _Xellos was alive._ “You’re Greater Beast, aren’t you?”

 

She smiled in what seemed to be amusement and stood, turning toward her ‘sister.’ “Hasn’t this gone on long enough, my dear? It is not in these people to simply lie down and die.”

 

Taking his chance, Zel ran to his lover’s side and pulled him close protectively, checking his pulse. Xellos’ heart was pumping steadily and Zel let out a sigh of relief, holding his lover’s lax and soft body. By whatever luck that ruled their lives, Xellos had not drained his life energy completely.

 

“This is a fight you cannot win,” the Greater Beast continued, her hands on her hips, thumbs hooking into a gold belt that decorated her waist. “They fight for something we Mazoku can’t begin to imagine.”

 

“Ra Tilt!” Amelia, having likely waited until Huraker seemed truly distracted by the confrontation of the two Lords, struck at the priest. At the same time, Gourry released another wave from his sword.

 

The two attacks collided, but when the dust settled, Huraker was nowhere in sight. In a blink, she reemerged from the Astral Plane to stand at her master’s side, a heavy pout on her lips.

 

“That was rude,” Huraker said, and would have moved again if Dolphin had not placed a hand on her shoulder.

 

Deep Sea’s eyes remained on Greater Beast’s, confused and betrayed. “You want us to give up? Surely you saw them strike down Riksfalto. If nothing else, my general must be avenged.”

 

“And you will surely lose Huraker as well if you don’t give up this folly now.”

 

“My,” Huraker murmured with a sweet smile. “It seems that the Greater Beast has been corrupted like Xellos-chan.”

 

“Hush, Huraker,” Dolphin ordered softly. “Do you stand with them, sister?”

 

Zelas looked back at Zel and Xellos suddenly, her inhuman eyes strangely kind. Zel noticed that Amelia and Gourry were moving in, and Lina was struggling to her feet once more. He could not look away from the Greater Beast though, his arms tightening around Xellos.

 

Her eyes softened further. “No. I am merely an observer pointing out what I know of Lina-san and her friends.” She smiled. “There is a reason I use them so often, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. They are… light.”

 

Lina finally made it to stand beside Amelia and Gourry. “We'll kill you if you don't buzz off and stay gone. You came after him for no reason.”

 

“Actually, that's true,” Zelas confirmed. “There is no trace of Mazoku left in Xellos but for a few remaining senses from memories and personality. He's completely human now. It seems Dynast-san has tried to trick us both for his own machinations.”

 

“Gee, what a huge surprise,” Lina muttered sarcastically.

 

Zel clenched his teeth, his anger returning. “I should kill you for trying, Dolphin.” He did not care that he was threatening a Mazoku Lord. Having Greater Beast’s faith was weirdly heartening. He thought he could take Deep Sea.

 

She blinked at him and Zelas laughed softly, confiding, “He's very protective of his mate, Dolphin-san.”

 

“I see…” It was clear from her expression that she did not. “I will look into this, Zelas. You would not lie to me, but Dynast is another matter.”

 

“Attack again and it’ll be your last,” Zel snarled, just so that it was clear.

 

This only gained him another confused look before Dolphin was gone, not leaving a trace behind. Huraker shrugged and left with her master.

 

In the forest, where their fighting had made a clearing as whole trees were bent, blasted, or cut down, they were left alone with Zelas Metallium. As she did not seem intent on attacking them at the moment, Zelgadis dared to turn his attention back to his lover.

 

He touched Xellos too-pale face, feeling his still steady pulse rate. The weapon was still clutched weakly in his hands and Zel carefully untangled his grip on it, tossing it aside. He almost wished they had never found the things.

 

Then Amelia was there, and she was transferring some of her own energy into Xellos, for which Zel gave her a grateful look. Neither he nor Lina had enough strength to spare Xellos.

 

Xellos whimpered and his face took on a more healthy pink.

 

Zel smiled tiredly, the events of the last few minutes starting to catch up with him. “Xellos.”

 

Purple eyes blinked at him tiredly. “Z’gadis?” he slurred.

 

He almost cried in relief and his eyes became wet, which he ignored. “Thank the gods. I thought you were…” He kissed Xellos’ forehead and focused on holding him, unable to speak of his fears fully.

 

Shaking fingers touched his cheek. “Sorry… What happened?”

 

“You ignored my warning, you idiot,” Lina said. She sounded relieved, not angry.

 

“Sorry,” he repeated, laughing weakly. “And after that?”

 

Zel gave him a small, reassuring squeeze. “We had help.” He motioned toward where Zelas still stood, watching them, and Xellos’ eyes widened in surprise, his body stiffening.

 

-

 

“Master?” he asked softly and the arms around him tightened, which was not nearly reassuring enough. Xellos wished he could stand, or even lift his head. Though receiving some of Amelia’s energy helped, he was still very weak. He was embarrassed to be seen damaged in front of his master.

 

She gave one of her soft, familiar laughs. “No longer, Xellos-san.”

 

He noticed her fingers twitch; a habitual action that meant she wanted a cigarette but was trying to appear dignified and would not pull one out. He wondered how she was getting her packs now that he wasn’t around to fetch them.

 

“Will you attack us also, Greater Beast-sama?” he asked, getting straight to the point.

 

She shook her head. “No. You are no danger to us.”

 

Xellos sagged in Zelgadis’ arms, more relieved than he could say. “I see.”

 

“I do, of course,” she added, “regret that you were cursed with humanity, but nothing can be done about that.”

 

Xellos really wished he could bow. The informality was torturous. Even now, it went against everything in him. “I apologize that I will be unable to continue to serve you,” he said as dignified as possible. “But even if there were a way, I no longer wish to return to my previous form.”

 

“Unsurprising. You became rather attached to these humans.”

 

He felt it as Zelgadis began to droop and looked up at his chimera’s tired face. “Zelgadis?”

 

“We need to get you two into bed,” Lina muttered, moving to help hold Zelgadis up.

 

“Oh my,” Greater Beast murmured, smiling, almost benevolently. “I believe that it is alright if I help you, just this once.”

 

Then they were no longer on their impromptu battlefield. They were on the outskirts of Avalo. It was highly disorienting and Gourry, who was still on his feet, stumbled.

 

“Whoa,” said the blond swordsman, grinning at Zelas. “That’s way better than how Lina gets us around quick, ma’am.”

 

Ma’am. He called her _ma’am_. Xellos closed his eyes and tried not to squirm, aghast. For anyone to speak to his master with such casualness! It was hard to comprehend.

 

Zelas continued to smile as if Gourry were charming to her. “I suppose it would be. But you don’t seem to be afraid of heights as much as you were, Gourry-san.”

Gourry shrugged. “Sometimes I just don’t think about it.”

 

“I see.”

 

“Lina can be really distracting like that.”

 

She laughed again and Lina threw a glare at her self-proclaimed guardian, but knew better than to attack him with a slipper right now.

 

“Thanks, Greater Beast,” Lina said, awkward and just as informal.

 

“Of course, Lina-san.” The Lord looked at Xellos once more. “Take care, Xellos-san. It is unlikely that we will speak again, but I do think I will be keeping an occasional eye on you. I look forward to seeing the rich life you will have with your mate.”

 

Xellos flushed and bowed his head as properly as he could. “Thank you, ma—Greater Beast-sama.”

 

She smiled and was gone. Xellos felt a strong sense of loss, like a punch in the gut, and truly believed he would not see her again.

 

“We should get inside the barrier,” Amelia urged gently, and with the help of their friends, Xellos and Zelgadis made their way to the inn. The innkeeper recognized them—it had only been a few days, but it felt longer—and offered them their previous rooms. All three were still vacant.

 

They somehow managed to get upstairs without breaking their necks, stumbling all the way, and Xellos tumbled with his lover into the bed. It creaked alarmingly under the chimera’s weight, but held firm, and Xellos relaxed onto the soft covers.

 

“You two gonna be okay?” Lina asked dubiously.

 

Zelgadis managed to maneuver his packet and cloak off his shoulders at the same time. “Yeah, fine. You go rest too.”

 

The redhead nodded and waved, walking out with the others following her. The door closed behind them.

 

Xellos, envying his lover’s dexterity, finally managed to remove his own pack and set it next to Zelgadis’ on the floor. His limbs were weak and utterly useless. Giving up on the rest, he moved close to his chimera, not cuddling so much as simply laying on him.

 

Zelgadis pressed a light kiss to his forehead and he sighed, falling asleep.

 

-

 

He woke later to someone petting his hair. Xellos yawned and rubbed at his eyes, which felt glued together. It was a strange sensation, so he was glad it didn’t last.

 

The sun was low in the horizon, nothing more than a golden hue that shined through the thin curtains in the window. He vaguely remembered, in that very room, complaining how he wanted thicker curtains to keep the morning light out of the room.

 

Xellos tilted his head and met Zelgadis’ blue eyes. “Zelgadis…”

 

His chimera looked relieved and a little shaky as his fingers wandered down to touch his face. “Xellos.”

 

“Zelgadis?” He could tell that his lover was not well. “What's wrong? I can't sense what you're feeling...” Xellos wished he could, even if it was cheating. He was still tired and very aware of the lack of his former power in that moment.

 

“I almost lost you,” Zelgadis whispered.

 

“I’m sorry,” Xellos told him, awkward but concerned. “I thought I would lose you and let my fear dictate my judgment somewhat.” He thought, even as a Mazoku, he would have believed it was the most logical course of action.

 

Soft blue lips touched his almost reverently. “You’re all I have.”

 

“Not all,” Xellos argued, startled. “You still would have had Lina-san and the others.”

 

“You're my future,” was Zelgadis’ counter, whispered close to his mouth. “I don't want to ever go back to just surviving. I couldn’t, not after having this with you.”

 

Xellos nuzzled his pebbled cheek tenderly. “My dear. I’m so sorry for scaring you.” It was not enough, but they were the only words he had. “It’s alright now. We’re back and it’s over. We can begin our future now.”

 

Zelgadis nodded and kissed him again, firm and demanding. Xellos could only submit to it, clinging to his chimera and letting him take control. It seemed the rest had done Zelgadis good.

 

Himself as well, he noticed with a flush, as his body began to respond. It was unusual for Zelgadis to take the initiative in bed like this, but he really liked it, if not the reason for it.

 

His chimera rolled on top of him, his fingers slipping under his shirt as he broke the kiss. Xellos panted as his shirt was tugged up and Zelgadis’ head moved to ravish his chest. “Zelgadis…”

 

“Want you,” Zelgadis panted softly, rubbing their hips together firmly. “Take me.”

 

Moaning, Xellos reached over the side of the bed for their bags, but Zelgadis had to be the one to get the lubricant from their belongings.  

 

“It has been a few days,” Xellos warned as they rolled on the bed, putting him on top. “This could hurt again, like the first time.”

 

Zelgadis was flushed and squirming faintly beneath him. “Worth it.”

 

Xellos smiled and kissed him, taking those words to heart.

 

It was all worth it. Every second of pain, of fear, as they had struggled to get here. All the long years he had traveled in this world, then discovering free will and breaking away from his kind—it was all very much worth it.

 

-

 

Zelgadis curled around his lover once they were both naked and spent, and focused on his lover. Xellos was warm and soft, his skin a little sweaty from their activities, and very much alive. He was smiling, his eyes glittering, and his cheeks were still a little flushed. It was almost enough to get him aroused again, and might have normally, if he were not still recovering from the last fight.

 

Instead, he trailed his fingers lightly down his cheek, then Xellos’ tender neck, over his shoulder, skidding lightly along his chest. Zel’s eyes followed the movement of his hand, and the blush that came in its wake, spreading down Xellos’ shoulders.

 

Zel grinned. He’d never noticed Xellos do that before, but it was amazing and gorgeous. “Help me pick a plot of land tomorrow,” he requested suddenly.

 

Xellos’ own pleased and slightly smug smile widened. “Of course. If I remember right, there was a divining crystal in our shrine. It should help us find a location in the woods that is still within the protective barrier.”

 

He grasped Xellos’ hand, kissing it lightly. “Close to a water source would be nice too. Like a stream. There’s a lake nearby, so it shouldn’t be difficult to find.” Otherwise he would be digging a well and that would hold up construction.

 

“Then I shall begin translating those books,” Xellos added, his eyes fluttering into small, pleased slits. “Did you wish to speak with a contractor? As I remember, you were very talented in rebuilding the Ryuzoku shrine.”

 

Zelgadis smiled, a little bashfully, and did not call Xellos on his stalking or on not helping them rebuild. He would have before but Xellos wasn’t the only one that had changed. “So long as Lina doesn’t do the design, it’ll be fine.” Xellos giggled and he smiled wider. “I’ll start designing myself as soon as I get an idea of the landscape. Then I'll find some local work. Or hunt bandits or something.”

 

“It will be good to acquaint ourselves with the locals, since they'll be neighbors.”

 

Zel nodded, seeing the practicality in it, but it made him nervous nonetheless.

 

Xellos rubbed his bare, hard shoulder. “It will be alright. Do something that plays to your strengths and that'll make them grateful; then they will certainly see you for who you are. You are a better person than you believe yourself.”

 

“I hope so,” Zel said, kissing him gratefully. He didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky, getting Xellos like this. He must have done something to deserve it. Maybe all those times he’d helped Lina save the world…

 

“And if anyone else ever calls you a monster, I will punish them severely,” Xellos said.

 

Zel sighed. “It’s going to happen, you know. I hate it, and I know you hate it too, but we can’t change how people think. At least not everyone thinks so. I have you and our friends. I can live with being this way.” He was still upset, still angry, but it was a little better now. He could begin to move on.

 

Xellos looked surprised. “That is strangely philosophical of you, my dear. Very… mellow.”

 

“Maybe it’s the great sex talking,” Zelgadis muttered lowly, daringly, and was rewarded with Xellos letting out a surprised burst of laughter.

 

 

End of Search for the Aqualord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to anyone still reading, and to everyone who will review or has ever reviewed. The support was greatly appreciated. Finished Nov. 29, 2011.


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